I was channel surfing yesterday after my kids were done resting, and I came across a 2 hour block of the show "Seinfeld". I'm a huge fan of the show. It is one of, if not the, greatest live action sitcoms of all time. Everything about the show is perfect. The writing, the directing, the acting, the jokes, the stories, everything is great. I happened upon the last episode of the 2 hour block, but boy was it a great, all time classic episode. The one I got to watch was "The Contest".

For fans, you all know what this episode is about. But, for the people that don't know, this episode is basically about the 4 main characters, Elaine, George, Kramer and Jerry, challenging each other to see how long they can go without, how do I put this lightly, giving themselves pleasure. This may be the greatest episode of "Seinfeld" that has ever been on TV. In fact, this may be one of the greatest 22 minute blocks of TV ever created. That includes all genres on all networks of all time. Everything about this episode is peak comedy and peak "Seinfeld".

The episode starts like almost every other episode. Kramer, Elaine and Jerry are hanging out at Monk's, having a conversation that is essentially about nothing. They are chit chatting, and then George walks in with a very disgusted face. They all ask what is wrong, and he goes into a story about his mom walking in on him, again how do I put this lightly, I'll just say pleasuring himself for the rest of the blog. He says that he was there to drop some stuff off, no one was home, and a "Glamour" magazine was on the table. George says he started to leaf through the magazine, and "one thing led to another", and his mom walked in on him doing that. She immediately crumpled to the ground screaming, "George! What are you doing!". George then says that his mom threw out his back, and when she went down, he said he had to decide between helping her, or zipping up. He chose to zip up, claiming, "I couldn't go over there the way I was". Everyone laughs at him, and George proclaims that he is never going to pleasure himself again, ever. They all laugh at him, and he claims that he could last longer than any of them. They all decide then and there to have a "contest" to see who can last the longest. Even Elaine wants in, but they try to explain how ladies can last longer. Jerry says that she needs to give them odds. Elaine balks at this, explaining that women have the same needs. She even says that she has to shave her legs, when shaving is brought up, and this makes Kramer exclaim, "not everyday". Hilarious line. The guys eventually cave, but Elaine has to give 50 extra dollars. Now, the contest begins.

The next scene has everyone hanging out at Jerry's house and Kramer bursts through the door. He has spotted a completely nude lady walking around her apartment across the street. Jerry, George and Kramer rush to the window to check it out. Elaine walks in, and is cocky that this will be a cake walk for her. Then, Kramer leaves without saying anything to anyone. Then, about a minute later, Kramer walks in, slams money on Jerry's kitchen counter and says, "I'm out". So, now there were three.

Later in the episode, Elaine is at her aerobics class, and she comes to find out that JFK Jr is in her class. She is smitten and taken aback by this news. She gets a spot right behind him in class and is in love. We later cut to the four main characters trying to sleep. George, Elaine and Jerry cannot sleep, but Kramer, he is sleeping like a baby. We go back to Monk's and Elaine is telling the guys about JFK Jr being in her class. Earlier in the scene, George and Jerry have claimed to be "masters of their domain", and they ask Elaine if she still is, and she says, "I'm Queen of the castle".

The episode cuts back to Jerry's apartment, and Jerry is on the phone with his mother and Kramer is watching the lady across the street. Jerry is watching cartoons, and after he gets off the phone with his mom, he is singing children's songs to keep his mind off the lady across the street. This tactic doesn't work because Kramer is singing the tune, but it is about the lady across the street having no clothes on. Elaine goes to her aerobics class the next day, all done up. Her hair is nice, she has makeup on, the whole nine basically. She comes to find out that JFK Jr won't be there, he was in an earlier class, but the lady behind the counter let her know that she made an impression on him. Then, it's another scene of the four of them sleeping. George and Jerry are still restless, but Kramer, and now Elaine are sleeping like babies. Elaine walks in Jerry's apartment the next day, and, after a great scene involving George and Jerry fighting with each other over little things out of pure frustration, she puts her money down on the counter and says, "I'm out". Shock and awe from George and Jerry's faces. They thought she would coast, but she explains that the JFK Jr news got to her. Now, there were 2.

George is growing more frustrated by the day. He goes to visit his mom, and we see that the hospital bed next to hers has a young patient and nurse that is giving her a sponge bath. This is driving George nuts. He makes extra visits to his mom just to see this. He looks to be caving. But, Jerry is equally frustrated. He is dating a virgin, and he cannot get past kissing her. She wants to take it slow. He, being the "good" guy that he is, agrees, but it is driving him crazy as well. Both George and Jerry are pent up and frustrated. The ending of the episode is classic. We already know that Elaine and Kramer are out. But, when we get our final sleeping scene, both George and Jerry are resting comfortably as well. They have clearly caved, but we don't know who won the contest. We do find out in the series finale, but the fact that they ended this episode on a cliff hanger, and don't divulge who won until very later on in the series, makes this ending that much better.

I'm so glad that I came across this episode of "Seinfeld" yesterday. It's a classic, and it still holds up very well. "Seinfeld" is great, and "The Contest" may be their finest half hour. Go back and check out this episode, it is so, so great.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He has been master of his domain for over 20 years, so he says. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.