Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Sleeping in on a Sunday Morning Edition
Then there were 8.
I'm down to the last 2 days of my countdown of the NFL. These are the good teams. They are not the best of the best, but a couple of things break their way, they could find themselves in the Super Bowl. These teams are nearly complete, and they are legit contenders. On with the countdown.
At number 8, I have the Minnesota Vikings. This team took a real big step forward last year. The offense is led by a child abuser, and all out human monster, Adrian Peterson. I know he is a very good running back, but that does not change the fact that he purposefully beat up his 4 year old and showed no remorse for it. Yes, he is good, but every time he gets hit on the field, I hope he gets injured. People who beat up children deserve the worst. At QB, I really want to like Teddy Bridgewater, and maybe this is the year he finally puts it all together. He checks down way too much, but they did draft Laquon Treadwell, who I think can be a good NFL player and he also has Kyle Rudolph at tight end. He is a machine at catching the ball. I also like Stefon Diggs, and he has a full year under his belt. Cordarelle Patterson hasn't put it together yet, and this year may be his last chance, but he can still be good. The Vikings o line is pretty decent as well. Where I think this team is underrated is their defense. They're very formidable. The defensive line is decent, anchored on each end by Danielle Hunter and Everson Griffen. The linebackers are very good, led by Chad Greenway and Anthony Barr. The secondary has very good players, namely Harrison Smith and Andrew Sandejo. They may not be the brightest names, but they are all very good players on a very good defense. Mike Zimmer has also proven to be a capable head coach. This Vikings team is getting better, and they will challenge Green Bay again. I say they finish the season 11-5.
At number 7, I have the Pittsburgh Steelers. Now, first off, I cannot stand this team. They are whiny babies, they complain about everything that doesn't go their way, they are basically the LA Clippers of the NFL. But, they are good. Their QB, another piece of human garbage, is Ben Roethlisberger. When he isn't out allegedly sexually assaulting young females, he is a good to great QB. He is such a terrible person, but he is durable, plays injured and makes throws, so he gets a pass from idiots like Roger Goodell and ESPN. The running game will miss LeVeon Bell after he skipped another drug test and got suspended for four games, but a guy like D'Angelo Williams or Fitz Toussaint will pick up the slack. I know Toussaint fumbled away the playoff game last year, but he is a good enough back that he will get over it, and probably put up decent numbers until Bell gets back. Williams, while older, still runs hard and gains yards. They still have old reliable, Heath Miller at tight end, so that position is still very good. At receiver, they have the wonderful and prolific Antonio Brown. I don't care what kind of stupid hair cut he has when he makes as many catches as he does, racks up as many yards as he does and scores as many TD's as he does. Antonio Brown is awesome. And he is not the only threat. They also have Markus Wheaton, who is very good. The Steelers offense could be lethal. They also have a pretty good defense as well. Guys like James Harrison, Ryan Shazier, Alvin Dupree, William Gay, Jarvis Jones and Shamarko Thomas are all very good at their jobs. They can pressure and cover. This team, as much as it pains me to say it, could very easily make their way, and possibly win, the Super Bowl this season. But, they do have questions. Can Roethlisberger stay healthy and out of trouble? Same for Bell? will Antonio Brown be tired from carrying this team last year? And when will Mike Tomlin make another bone headed decision, because we know it's coming. I think the Steelers will be good, if everything breaks their way. I have them at 12-4.
At number 6, I have the hometown team of our head editor, the Cincinnati Bengals (ed note: Go Bengals). First off, I hope they change their name to the Harambe's, because that would be absolutely incredible. Anyway, they still have Andy Dalton at QB. This guy has to be so frustrating to watch if you are a Bengals fan. He will look great one play, then do something that only Tony Romo does on the next play. He chucks way too may passes in the air as well. He is a complete wild card. But, he does have receivers that are willing and able to try and track down those errant throws. AJ Green is a highlight reel on almost every play. His catches are almost as spectacular as Odell Beckham's. Green is one of the upper echelon receivers in the NFL. Tyler Eiffert is about as reliable as they come. The Bengals need a first down, they go to him. They need 5 yards, they go to him. they need a jump ball in the endzone, it's Eiffert or Green. They also have Brandon LaFell, who I don't think is that bad. The Bengals running game is top notch. They have two awesome backs in Giovanni Bernard and Jeremy Hill. Hill is explosive and Bernard is the bruiser, They both could start on almost any team in the NFL, but they choose to split time, and they are an exceptional duo. The Bengals defense has kind of turned into the old version of the Raiders. They are good, but they are dirty. Look no further than their playoff game last year. Yeah. Vontaez Burfict and Adam Jones are very good, but they are selfish and get way, way too many personal foul penalties. Dre Kirkpatrick is a good corner, but he plays opposite Jones, so that is a no win situation for him. Carlos Dunlap is a good linebacker, but all anyone talks about is Burfict and the penalties. Same for Ray Meauluaga. Very good, but gets overlooked. Carlos Dunlap is a good defensive end too. This Bengals team is good, but can they get out of their own way. I think this may be the last real chance that they have, and they should, at the very least, make it to the second round of the playoffs. I say the Bengals finish 11-5.
At number 5, I have my team, the Green Bay Packers. This team got absolutely ravaged with injuries last year and still almost made the NFC championship game. Aaron Rodgers is solidly in the top 3 of the best QB's playing right now. He has a great arm, runs when needed, throws into minuscule windows and puts up huge numbers. He is the engine that runs this offense. Eddie Lacy, if he loses weight and doesn't get hurt, makes the Packers run game a threat. When he is in there, and running hard, he is tough to take down, and he puts up numbers. I am an Eddie Lacy fan, but he has to show me a good, full season. I do like James Starks as his backup though. He is tall, finds holes and gashes teams for big, big runs. At receiver, this is where is gets dicey. If Jordy Nelson comes back fully recovered, than at least the Packers have one elite wideout. Nelson is very good and they missed him a whole lot more than I though they would last year. Randall Cobb is also very good, but he gets hurt way too much on returns, and he takes a beating going over the middle. He is small, but he plays big. After those guys, it's thin. I do like Richard Rodgers at tight end, but the fact that they are trying out Kellen Winslow Jr tells me they don't have a lot of faith in him. The Packers o line is the weak point of the offense. /they don't protect that well, and they open up very few lanes. They need work. The defense is good, but I feel like it can be better. When you have guys like Julius Peppers, Clay Matthews, Jake Ryan, Mike Daniels, Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix and Sam Shields, you should be better than middle of the pack. They give up big plays way too often. I also want Peppers and Matthews to talk to the guys that accused them of PED's, so they can clear their names. The bottom line, as long as Aaron Rodgers is the QB, this team will be competitive. I see a better year from Lacy and having Nelson back will really help out. I also think the defense will, and should, play a lot better. I think the Packers reclaim their stop at the top of the division and they win 12 games doing that.
Come back tomorrow for the last four teams of my countdown.
Ty
Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is building an eternal flame in his backyard to remember the greatest ever, Harambe. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.