Today I'm going to go back in time and do one of my favorite things, explain why I irrationally hate something. I usually save this for sports teams, but today, my sole focus for my hatred will be squarely on a "rapper". Many of you may have just read that sentence and assumed that I will be talking about Drake today, but not so fast. I'll save him for another day. I have also shit on him a lot on the podcast.

But, today I was driving in my car listening to my Pandora stations on shuffle, and something so damning to my ears came on that I got literally upset. I yelled at Pandora as if the AI could hear me for what they'd done to me. I felt like tossing my phone out of the car because of how angry I was that Pandora's AI thought I would want to hear anything from the "rapper" Macklemore. 

I DESPISE Macklemore. I think he is one of, if not the, most overrated "emcees" of all time. And yes, I'm going to continue to use quotes throughout this whole article because he is one fake ass "rapper".

Macklemore first jumped on my radar in 2013 with the horrendous song, "Thrift Shop". Everyone I knew loved this song, but me. I could not stand it. I did not like the hook. I thought that the beat was terrible, at best. I loathed the video for this song. But, what irked me most was this phony new "rapper" Macklemore trying to rap. It was disgusting. He sounds like a white guy trying to rap. That is not a compliment. You know when you hear someone like Eminem, El-P or Mike Skinner(AKA The Streets), and they sound like a legit rapper? That is the opposite feeling I got when I heard Macklemore. He was trying so hard to be a "rapper", where with real rappers, it just comes naturally. Of course "Thrift Shop" blew up. It was everywhere. Try as I might, I could not get away from the song. Every party, gathering, radio station or place I went or listened to, that damn song was on. It never grew on me at all. It had the opposite effect. The more I heard it the more I hated it.

People then looked for what he was going to do next, and to everyone else around him I give credit, his next single was "Same Love". This song has a great message, just a terrible messenger. If this had just been the lady singing who sang the hook, I would have been totally on board with this track. As I have said, I love and respect and agree with the message behind "Same Love", but, every time I hear Macklemore's dumbass "rap", I get angry.

A great spoof of how horrific a messenger Macklemore is was Andy Samberg as Connor 4 Real in "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping" when he sang the song "Equal Rights". It is almost indistinguishable as to which guy is singing which song, and Andy Samberg was making a joke. That should, in and of itself, be enough evidence that Macklemore is an absolute joke.

Of course his record "The Heist" went on to win multiple Grammys, including beating out Kendrick Lamar's "Good Kid, M.A.D.D. City" for best rap record. That is one of the biggest "upsets" in the history of the stupid Grammys. In my opinion, that ranks right up there with Jethro Tull beating out Metallica for Best Heavy Metal Album, which many people see as the biggest upset in Grammys history. To make himself look even worse though, Macklemore supposedly texted an apology to Kendrick Lamar, telling him he deserved the award. What a douchebag. Just take your prize and let it be. I'm positive Kendrick Lamar doesn't give a second thought to the Grammys because he is way too busy making relevant, meaningful, incredible music. Only a moron like Macklemore would think that Kendrick Lamar would want an apology text from him. This was so stupid.

Then, Macklemore went on to show up in a multitude of Dr. Pepper commercials, claiming he was an independent artist who did things on his own terms. He would then take a sip of a Dr. Pepper at the end of these commercials claiming to be an "independent artist". This is such a sell out move. Just admit you did it for the money. Every musician and band does this now. It doesn't make you a sell out, unless you come across like Macklemore did in these stupid Dr. Pepper commercials. Some of my favorite bands, like the Black Keys for one main example, sell their songs to commercials all the time. I don't care because they don't come out and try and explain why they sold their music. I know why, they're getting paid a shit ton of money to do it. I'd do the same thing. Macklemore's Dr. Pepper commercials reminded me of myself when I was 17 and claimed anyone I liked that performed on TV or had one of their songs in a big time commercial was a sell out. Let me repeat my age, I was 17. Macklemore acts like a 17 year old. He also went on to do more stupid commercials, I don't even know what for, but he and Russell Wilson were hanging out. They said it was the Seattle connection, but I just saw a couple of holier than thou douchebags shilling some nonsense, and I hated those commercials too.

Many people anticipated Macklemore's second record, I couldn't have cared less, and it was a total flop. Again, I go to the "Popstar" comparison. Just like "Connquest" was a colossal failure for Conner 4 Real, so was "The Unruly Mess I've Made" for Macklemore. It was a colossal critical and monetary failure. That album got incredibly panned by critics and fans alike. I assumed the unruly mess he was talking about was his terrible "rapping", but I'm sure he was talking about some other bull shit that he thought made him seem semi important.

I hope this is the end of his "rap" career because he is garbage. I also do not know one single person, nor has anyone come to me and said, I'm a Macklemore fan. I know he sold millions of records, but I do not know one single person that owns a Macklemore single or record. It is a lot like The Black Eyed Peas with Fergie. I know they sold records, but I don't know one single person that claims to be a fan. Macklemore is trash and he should quit music forever. I hope it happens sooner rather than later.  

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He was at the thrift shop yesterday and saw all of Macklemore's music for $.99. Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

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