Last night my wife and I sat down and watched "Venom". It was on Starz awhile back, I recorded it, and we finally had some time to check it out.

Before I get into it, the cast for this movie is really incredible. Tom Hardy is Eddie Brock/Venom. He is one of my favorite actors. I enjoy pretty much everything he does. Hell, I was one of the few people that liked "Taboo". Michelle Williams has a big role in this movie. She is a multi Academy Award nominee. She has been in some great movies. She has had the best career of anyone that was on "Dawson's Creek". Fight me on this, I dare you. Riz Ahmed was the bad guy. He is a legit soon to be star. He was excellent on that crime show on HBO a year or so back. Jenny Slate has a small yet prominent role. I don't think anyone has made it bigger than she has after her snafu on "SNL". She has a solid and growing career right now. Also, "Obvious Child" is one of the most underrated movies. It's a gem. And there is a Woody Harrelson cameo. Harrelson is also one of my favorite actors of all time. He is a super duper star.

All of this is being said because I had high hopes for "Venom". It did not live up to my hype. I'm not going to openly be mean and trash the movie because I am trying to be better about stuff like that. But man, "Venom" was confounding and dull and slow and poorly CGI'd and just not very fun. I was utterly confused by the dynamic that was created by Hardy when Venom took him on as a host. It seemed as if Hardy decided he was just going to totally go for it and be as wild as possible, also trying to be funny, and it simply didn't work. It was confusing. When he was talking to Venom, it felt like the movie shifted into a romantic comedy about Brock and Venom, which could have worked oddly, but it was too far fetched. And Williams looked liked she would rather be anywhere else. She seemed to really phone it in. I read some interviews where she pretty much conceded she did the movie just to do a super hero movie. Her and Hardy had zero chemistry. Her relationship with the guy that plays Dan Egan on "Veep" was much more believable. Slate gave it her all, but her role was added to the movie, she is not from the comic books, and it just felt forced. She was good. I put the onus on the 7 writers, that's right, 7, as to why her character didn't really belong. Ahmed goes full Eddie Redmayne from "Jupiter Ascending", and it was bizarre. He constantly contradicts himself. He isn't believable as the bad guy, and when he turns into his symbiote, that is what they call the alien host, Riot, it was far too similar to Venom. He just had some added moves, and it was pretty blah. I respect that all these actors, for the most part, went for it, it just didn't work. I was very disappointed in the outcome.

I really wanted to like this movie. I even tried to make excuses while we were watching it. But, I just can't. It just isn't a very good movie. There are a few decent scenes, but they are immediately erased the very next moment. And man was Hardy's choice for Venom's voice totally absurd. It really takes you out of the movie. I am also bummed that it got the dreaded PG-13 rating. "Venom" should be R, and possibly a hard R. Look at how great a movie like "Deadpool" is because of the R rating. Venom is scary and gross and an alien that likes to eat people. Don't rate a movie like that PG-13. It takes away so much.

Needless to say, I do not recommend "Venom". It just isn't very good.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. It is weird that Ty does not think Katie Holmes is the best actor from the “Dawson’s Creek” crew. She really sold her role as wife of Tom Cruise.

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