This Saturday I am embarking on what might be my most difficult athletic experience, to date, in my life. I am running a trail half marathon,, and I keep finding myself asking the simple question, why?

Now, I have run 2 half marathons. I have run this distance on training runs with my buddy. I have run multiple 10k and 15k races. I have done, which is my new favorite thing, a double helping run on Thanksgiving morning, which is a 5k followed immediately by a 10k. But, for some odd reason, which I will try and answer today, I am a bit nervous and confused as to why I am doing this trail half marathon. It doesn't help that almost everyone I talk to says that the particular race I am running is one of the tougher ones in Saint Louis. It's also got a crazy amount of elevation, for which I have been training for at least. I have heard, via a Facebook post, from a few people that have decided to drop out, or give up their bib. There seems to be a rising amount of people saying that this is going to be tough, yet I am staying in the race, and I am fully committed to running it, and finishing it. I even have a goal time in mind, and have started to mentally and physically prepare for how tough this race may possibly be. But again, I find myself asking, why are you doing this? And, I think I have found a few answers.

One, I like to do races because I like to challenge myself to see what I am capable of. That is why I ran my first street race half marathon. That was why I started to run to lose weight. That is why I challenge myself to go faster with every 10 and 5k that I do. And this trail race is no different. I want to push myself, to see how much I can take, on a course that is rocky and fast and has big time hills and is a very far distance. I want to prove that I can do this.

Second, my buddy who I run with is doing the 53k portion of this race. He is, admittedly, a much better distance runner than I am, and I feel like if he is pushing himself to do a humongous distance like that, I can do the half marathon distance. As reluctant as he is to this notion, and as much as he may try to deny it, seeing him do the distances he does only pushes me to try and do half of what he does. I have called him my unofficial trainer, and his willingness to run with me, and stay at my pace has been an enormous help. And while I won't be there when he finishes on Saturday, you better believe I will be rooting him on, and contacting him via text later in the day to see how it was.

Third, I love hiking and running. These 2 things became my main source of weight loss when I lost all the weight because they are both free. And I love being outside. So, when the 2 things are combined, and I can spend anywhere from 3-4 hours outside, count me in. This is one of the biggest reasons why I am more on the excited side now, where I was pretty nervous abut 2 weeks ago.

Fourth, the running community here in Saint Louis is so cool and loving and helpful and gets you through the tough parts of a race. Anytime I find myself struggling, there always seems to be a volunteer there to cheer you on. Also, I have ran with numerous strangers through the finish line because they have offered to get me through that last push. When running races, no one judges me, they want to help me, and I want to help when I can. It is such a cool and fun environment, and a community I am so grateful to be a part of now.

Fifth and finally, I am doing this simply because I want to. Yes, I make excuses when I get tired, and I walk up the big hills and I may curse myself during the race and want to quit, but I always find a way to finish, and when I do, it is euphoric. I will never win any of these races, but crossing that line, even if I am in last place, I feel like I have accomplished something I never thought I could do. The only person I am racing is myself, and that is a great feeling.

So I know why I am doing this race. It is all the reasons I mentioned above, and I also love doing this. I wouldn't continue to sign up for races, or go running for fun, if I didn't like doing it. I'm excited to do this race on Saturday, and I will be back next week to recap it for everyone who may be interested to know how it was.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The head editor is being inspired by Ty and he is going to go out and walk a whole .5k on a trail this weekend. You have got to start somewhere.

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