The Patriots just refuse to let it go. They refuse to let someone else win their division. They refuse to play an unproven player since they struck gold with Tom Brady. They refuse to just let go, give in and rebuild. They are a less fun, meaner San Antonio Spurs. They just find ways to always keep themselves in the conversation as a contender.

The New England Patriots went out and got Cam Newton yesterday for absolutely nothing at all. They signed him to an incentive laden one year prove it deal after Brady left for Tampa. This is a move that will either be genius, or they can get away with it without having people drag them. They got Newton to sign for one year, if there is a football season, and even if he doesn’t make the team, it will cost them nothing. Any other team could’ve signed him, except Carolina I suppose, and while it shouldn’t surprise me, I was stunned that New England was who got him. They lost a hall of fame QB, but other than that, they were set up to compete simply because their defense is so good. All they really needed out of the QB position this season was a game manager, and it seemed that Jarret Stidham or Brian Hoyer was going to get the job. They looked like they were going to lean on the run game, short passes and their defense. And then they go out and get Newton. He may be the most overqualified game managing QB that was available. I understand he’s been hurt. I know he’s gotten three shoulder surgeries in three consecutive years. I know he hasn’t quite looked the same since his MVP year. I know he’s taken way too many cheap shots since the Super Bowl appearance. But, he’s won a MVP, he’s played in humongous games at all levels, he’s shattered records in the NFL and he has had over a full year to totally recover and get into shape. And if you’re like me and have been watching far too many pro athletes work out videos, because I miss sports so much, Cam looks about as in good a shape as any human can look. He was, in my opinion, the prize free agent QB. You may say that Brady was a free agent too, welp, at this point in their careers, I’d honestly rather have Cam. He’s younger, bigger and faster. So I guess it only makes sense that he’d replace Brady in New England.

I think the reason I’m so frustrated by this, why I wanted Newton to play anywhere else, is because I despise New England as much as almost everyone else does. They’re cheaters, they did get fined yesterday right after signing Newton by the way for filming a Bengals practice, yet they never truly get in trouble. They always get a slap on the wrist. I also was excited to see someone else win that division, and play in the playoffs. I’m fed up with seeing the Patriots every year. I want new blood. And I figured we’d get that. Be it the Bills, Jets or Dolphins, I was stoked for someone else to represent that division. But, if he stays healthy and is even half as good as he was three years ago, Newton will lead this team to another easy division title and playoff spot. This is the best O line he will ever play behind. The receivers might be the best too. Running back isn’t even close, Carolina is set there, but they still have guys that can fill that role solidly. And this defense, it’s better than the one that newton had when he led Carolina to the Super Bowl. This Patriots team was going to win somewhere around 5-8 games I thought with, most likely, Stidham. With Newton, I’d he’s healthy, they’re a 10 win team easily. They are already set everywhere else, and now they have a great QB who will be out to prove a ton of people wrong. Newton wants to show he’s still one of the better players in the NFL. This was exactly what he, and the Patriots needed. I mean, I’m pissed, but it makes too much sense for it to not work out. I thought he’d go to Washington to reunite with Ron Rivera, or go be the real dual threat the Bears want, or even go tutor Tua in Miami. None of that happened though. He went to the dark side. He’s playing for Palpatine, except it will probably work out much better for the Patriots than it did for Palpatine in the last “Star Wars” movie. I mean, the Patriots did it again, and while I shouldn’t be shocked, I am. I am stunned in fact. I’ll be very curious to see what happens next, but this is a home run for both sides, and that’s what’s most frustrating.

The Patriots  just won’t die. They won’t go away. Jesus.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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