I have a tale to tell.

My kids started their break from school today for turkey day. We went over to my folks house for brunch because they wanted to see the kids. They see them all the time, at least once a week, but now that both are in full time school, they do not see each of them at the same time as much as they used to. So we took the first day of break to hang out with them all morning and into the afternoon. We went out for brunch, one of my few times going to an actual restaurant during the pandemic, we went to an Italian grocer, my dad and I got coffee and got my mom and the kids some fancy drinks and we headed back to their house to hang for a bit before coming home.

Pretty good day so far.

When we got back to my folks house we watched the TV for a bit. My parents put it on Nickelodeon and "Paw Patrol" was on. I'm not a fan of that show, and to be honest, my kids do not really watch it anymore, but we were going to be leaving soon. But I am not here to talk about "Paw Patrol" today. I am here to talk about a commercial I saw for what I think might be the grossest kids game I have ever seen created.

The game is called Doggie Doo. If you cannot tell by the name, the game is all about collecting dog poo. That is how you win the game. I am not joking you. The more dog poop you collect the better off you are in the end. While watching the commercial they showed the game being played. It is a simple dice game, and when you roll, the number you get is how many times you squeeze the dog bone in the dog's mouth. So a 3 gives you 3three squeezes, 2, 2 two squeezes, and so on and so forth. The more squeezes, the more of a chance you have that the dog will go poop. And when it showed the dog going to the bathroom it made this gross slimy sound and a fake piece of dog poop popped out of the dog's butt.

My dad and I both looked at each other with disgust and dismay. We could not believe our eyes. I am not opposed to gross things, and I fully understand that everyone poops, it is human nature, but to make a game for kids that you win by collecting dog turds, that is foul. I simply don't know who this game is marketed for. I am truly at a loss. Kids like gross stuff, but my kids refuse to pick up after our dog. I am sure my nieces and nephew are the same with their dogs. I have to imagine most other kids in the world are not begging their parents to pick up after their dogs. I do not like picking up after my dog. I do it because I have to and because it is rude and gross to not pick up after your dog. But I can assure you that I am not angling to play a game where the objective is to collect the most poop. I have to imagine that the person that pitched this idea is either a psychopath, or they pitched it as a total joke not expecting it to get made. But here we are, in November of 2021, and this game called Doggie Doo is being sold in stores. It is clearly on at this time because Hasbro wants to see as many of these as they can for the upcoming gift giving holidays. They would not put a commercial for this game on national TV if they did not have intentions of selling as many of the game as they possibly can. But I say again, I do not get it. At all. I do not know anyone that is really pushing to get this game. I can't think of many parents rushing to the store to buy this game. Sure, there have been games with boogers in them, I'm sure someone has made a game with fake vomit, but this Doggie Doo game takes the cake for me as the grossest kids game to ever be made.

I promise you my kids will not have this game, and I would not be surprised if Doggie Doo ends up in the deep clearance bin by the time the new year rolls around. What a horrible and disgusting idea.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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