I turned 40 today.

I am not a big birthday person. I never really have been. Birthdays are cool when you're younger. You get to have a party, invite some friends over, go to dinner and get gifts. It is fun. I have a very good memory of a birthday when I was a child. It was 1996. I was turning 14. I had a small group of friends over, we went to Old Country Buffet and then headed back to my house. I wanted to watch the Heisman ceremony that night. Charles Woodson won it. It was great. Then my friends and I watched Michigan basketball beat number 1 Duke. I was ecstatic. I had a blast playing video games and hanging out with my friends after all the good sports news. But that was 14. Birthdays since then have been fine, but nothing too wild. When I turned 18 it was a small gathering and a dinner. 21 brought a snowstorm to Saint Louis. My brothers were all in town so that was cool. But I do not drink and the taste of beer that night turned me off forever. I got my wisdom teeth out right before 25 because I was going to be taken off my folks insurance. I started dating my wife shortly after that and she feels similarly to birthdays as I do. But she also likes to celebrate mine for me. We have done some fun birthday stuff. We went to Memphis when we turned 30. We did that again this past weekend as an early birthday present to both of us. I have gone to a few Grizzlies games on or near my bday. I usually go to dinner with my folks, which I will be doing tonight. At the start of the pandemic my wife did an excellent job of celebrating our birthdays and making it as normal as possible. But this one just has a different feel.

40 is a milestone. It has been a long time. 40 was when I would see all those "over the hill" cards when I was a kid. It feels like getting over a hump. I am already all creaky from running when I wake up, but I felt a little more creaky this morning. My oldest brother texted me and said that I am officially old now. It was in jest and I laughed, but he is also right. Other people I know who have just hit 40 this year warned me about it. I also did not want to leave my 30's. My 30's were great. My wife was actually talking about this this morning. Our son was 1 month away from turning 1 when we turned 30. My wife and I have celebrated our fifth and tenth anniversary, both in Mexico, in our 30's. My daughter was born right before we turned 33. I ran my first marathon at 38. Michigan has been a solid football team, save for 2020, all in my 30's. The Grizzlies are on the come up. Science has been crazy advanced in the last decade. I have found out who my true friends are this past decade. I have grown up emotionally and maturely. I don't do the nonsense that I used to anymore. I have purchased my most recent car on my own. I've made new friends in my 30's. I've done a lot in the past 10 years. I don't feel fully ready to enter a new decade. But I don't have a choice. This is life. We get older everyday. I have, and will, accept it. But it has a weird feel to it. I am just waiting for the shoe to drop and the pains and aches to become commonplace. But I am also optimistic, at least a little. Running will not stop. I see people much older than me still running. My kids are still young enough and we have plenty of time. My folks are still around, as are my brothers and sisters in law. My nieces and nephews are doing cool shit everyday that I get to be involved with. I am back to going to concerts and live comedy shows. I feel better about my anxiety and OCD. 40 is different. 40 is older. But 40 is also great. The older you get the more I appreciate things. This is a bad and good thing.

I just wanted to vent this afternoon. Thanks for listening. And here's to 40. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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