During the college football bowl season, outside of the playoff, the bowl games are kind of useless. We have opt outs, the transfer portal opens before the games start, coaches take new job, players graduate, there are so many outside distractions, it makes these games nearly unwatchable.

Oklahoma played without Dillon Gabriel last night. Miami was down to their third string QB, who redshirted this season. Tulane had four or five key guys sit or transfer. Notre Dame is down to a third string QB today. Florida State had upwards of 20 players transfer or opt out. You see what I mean? But, what these bowl games tend to do well is market themselves. I know who wins the Duke's Mayo Bowl every year now because the coach gets doused in mayonnaise, which is gross. The Pinstripe Bowl really goes hard into the Yankees and playing at Yankee stadium angle. It seems to be the same thing with the bowl game at Fenway. The Sun Bowl has a big sun, with a smile on its face, as its mascot. A good amount of these games, or the sponsors of these games that is, have mascots. It is all in good fun. I get it. But the mascot that I am already done with, and ready for it to be retired is the pop tart from whatever bowl game Pop Tarts is the sponsor of this year.

Anytime I went to check scores of the games last night, that damn mascot was there. Anytime I read a story, that damn mascot was featured. Hell, even when I checked on stuff from the games today, the Pop Tarts mascot was front and center. I like pop tarts. I do think they are a viable, quick breakfast option. I know they don't offer much in the way of nutrition, but they taste good. They give you the boost you need to start the day. But putting actual pop tarts in the trophy, what the hell is that nonsense? Why do that? Is the whole team, of damn near 100 players, supposed to share two pop tarts? I know these are pointless questions, and I'm sure that the Pop Tart company gave the players and coaches some nice swag. But still, to make this a whole ass story, come on. I read today that the mascot was made of real Pop Tarts. That is nuts. That is stupid. That is gross. And again, who is supposed to eat this thing? I would guess the winning team is supposed to consume the mascot, but why? Also, I have to imagine the person inside the costume is sweaty and gross. I bet they have a protective layer on, hopefully covering up the pop tart, but still, sweat can leak through. I wear wicking undershirts when I run in the winter to keep me warm and protect the sweat from making me chafe. But guess what, it still finds its way through the layers. I still get sweat on my outer most layer. I would think that the same thing is happening within the mascot suit and the edible part of the mascot suit. That is vile. Also, a pop tart seems like the last thing an athlete would want to eat after playing a four hour football game. I don't know.

I know this is a stupid complaint, but it is a complaint nonetheless, and I have a platform to gripe about these half baked ideas. I get that you have to keep your bowl games, outside the New Years six and the CFP, but this is a bridge too far for me. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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