Let me talk to you about kimchi.

I have attempted to make kimchi a few times in my house to no avail. The first time I tried I used a recipe that said it had to be fermenting in my refrigerator for a month. I went through the process step by step, took my time and even put a sticker with the date on the mason jar. I was stoked, but I did have to wait.

One day, maybe about halfway through the month-long waiting period, my daughter went to grab something from the fridge and told me it smelled weird. I went to look thinking we had some rotten fruit or something else leaking perhaps. I searched and searched but found nothing. My wife checked as well, and she couldn't find the culprit. After a while we heard a small wheezing noise in the fridge. It was at that point that my heart sank. I knew I didn't seal the mason jar properly. That was the only thing in there that could be possibly making that noise. I grabbed the jar and that was most definitely where the sound was coming from. I, using my better judgement, took the jar outside to open it. As soon as I popped the top the cabbage and all the other ingredients exploded onto my backyard lawn. It also smelled pretty awful. Now, according to some minimal research, the smell was what it was supposed to be. Kimchi is fermented, rotten cabbage in spices. But, due to the lone fact that I didn't properly seal the jar, it was a no go on this first experiment.

I tried again a few months after I improperly closed my jar. This time I kind of winged the recipe though. I didn't have everything I needed. I assumed I could use other stuff and it would be okay, if not very similar. I cut some corners and just figured it out on the fly. I also shortened the fermenting time to two weeks. This was a no go as well. It wasn't bad, it just lacked a ton of flavor. When making kimchi you need most, if not all, of the stuff that the recipe you are using is telling you to use. You cannot skip every corner. You have to stay mostly true. Kimchi is supposed to pack a punch. It's supposed to hit you in the mouth with flavor. You want a good spice kick. This version was very bland in retrospect. I ate about half of it before I gave up and tossed it in the trash.

This afternoon I took my third attempt at making proper kimchi. I used all the ingredients except shrimp paste, which I could not find at my store. I soaked the cabbage in saltwater for about an hour. I drained it and let it dry out. I made a slurry of water and gochugaru. I used radishes, carrots, both of which I julienned. I used fresh ginger and garlic, which I minced. I cut a ton of green onions to add in place of chives. I even used fish sauce, which I was finally able to find at my grocery store today. I did the steps. I did what the recipe said. I used my hands to massage the slurry into the cabbage leaves. I did pretty much everything it said. It also said you could eat it right away, but they recommended letting it sit for 3-4 days, which I will do. I hope this one works out. It looks the best. There's no lingering smell. I was able to use a tupperware to store it. It has all the elements that typical kimchi has at other places I've had it before.

I will check it to let you all know how this one turns out. I'm optimistic that I may have finally cracked the code on kimchi. And the best part about all of this, if it works out, I'm the only one in my home who likes kimchi, so that means I get to enjoy it all. As long as it's tasty. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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