KFC has Gone Too Far With the Cheetos Chicken Sandwich

Today I am going to go cranky old man for a minute. I have done this before, and sometimes I see something that just makes me think, "what in the hell is wrong with the younger generation"? The thing I want to be cranky about today is a new sandwich that I saw a commercial for last night from KFC.

Apparently KFC thinks that we as a people are too lazy now that we cannot even put our own Cheetos on a sandwich. I saw this dumb commercial, where a bunch of teens are skateboarding at a skate park, and they all go nuts over this new sandwich that Chester Cheetah brings them. Oh, he is dressed up as Colonel Sanders by the way. Anyway, the new sandwich has a fried chicken breast, hot sauce and Cheetos on it.

First off, that sounds gross even to me, and I like some trashy food. I've been known to put chips on a PB&J, I've been known to put Doritos on a turkey sandwich. I have added weird and wild stuff to burgers, hot dogs and even steak. But, for KFC to put Cheetos on a spicy fried chicken sandwich, I mean, come the hell on. What is happening over there. I have a good amount of friends that like weird food too, and even they think this sounds, and looks, disgusting. I for one don't like KFC. The last time I had it was when I got my wisdom teeth pulled 18 years ago, and I didn't even eat the chicken. I had their mashed potatoes, which were runny and gross, and their mac and cheese, which had hardened. Since then, I avoided KFC.

I seem to remember them doing other dumb stuff like this as well. They did that whole "meal in a bowl thing". Patton Oswalt does a great bit about it on one of his records that I highly recommend. Essentially, it was a bowl of potatoes, gravy, corn, fried chicken, and whatever else you wanted to stuff in your face. That looked foul. I had some friends that tried it, and they confirmed how gross I thought it was. They did the "double down" sandwich. You all remember this one, right? This was the sandwich that replaced a bun with 2 pieces of fried, or grilled, chicken. I remember starting Atkins around this time, and even that seemed too far out for me to try.

And now they have this abomination.

The only person I have heard say they want to try the sandwich, and said it looks good to them, is my 7 year old son. If he had his way, he would eat bacon cheeseburgers every night. After seeing the commercial last night I asked my wife what she thought, and she said it looked disgusting. I then saw on the internet today 2 different publications that tried it, and they had very different results.

And there in lies my biggest problem with a place like KFC. They may be the only fast food place that isn't consistent. I can get a double cheeseburger at any McDonalds in the world, and it will taste the same. Same thing with a Whopper. Same with most of Taco Bell's menu. But KFC has trouble even getting their fried chicken to taste similar in the same area. This is an awful idea from a not so good fast food place. I do not think this thing will last. I also think that KFC is trying too hard to be like Taco Bell. It seems every week that Taco Bell has something new, or they bring back an old favorite. But, for Taco Bell fans, it works because their food all has, for the most part, the same key ingredients. This new sandwich from KFC legitimately feels like they threw some darts at a wall, picked that stuff, threw it on a bun and said people will eat because we tell them to eat it.

Well, I will not be eating this sandwich. I hope no one in my family eats it either. It looks terrible, and I'm sure it will taste even worse. What a horrible idea.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. What about Taco Bell’s crazy items? Read Ty talk about the incredible Naked Chicken Chalupa.

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