A Return to Normalcy: I am Not Quite There Yet

Yesterday I talked about some podcasts going back to recording in person, in the studio, and how it has me feeling kind of optimistic that we may have turned a corner. It seems like things could be getting somewhat better. Some people are starting to go back out to restaurants, concerts are being scheduled, movie theaters are reopening, theme parks are able to operate at full capacity and the CDC is saying that it is safe, as long as you are vaccinated, to hang out in small groups, unmasked, with other vaccinated people. But I also mentioned in my piece yesterday how I am still kind of anxious about reentering society. Let’s talk about it.

I am fully vaccinated. I have been since April. I spend a ton of time outside. I am running with my buddy, who is also fully vaccinated, maskless again. All of that feels safe to me, and I am comfortable with it as well. I am not worried in those scenarios. But there are other things that still kind of freak me out, where I haven't yet been able to make the disconnect, to switch back to "normal". I have gone to two restaurants since getting vaccinated, and I was not comfortable. There just seemed like too many people inside at the time. And any time I was not eating or drinking, I kept my mask on. That made me feel safer. I noticed I was one of the few people still doing that. I still wear a mask when coaching my son and daughter's baseball/softball teams. I do not know where these other kids or their parents have been. I am sure some of the parents and older kids have not been, nor want to, get vaccinated. I'm sure some of them had COVID. Again, the other coaches do not wear a mask, but I still do. It makes me feel safe. I have played basketball in a gym a few times since getting my shots, but I still mask up. Again, it just makes me feel safe. I do wonder though, when, if ever, I will feel safe enough around strangers, or even people I know, to go maskless. There has to be some breaking point, some unknown time where I have to trust other people. I feel like I will always, at least for a very long time, still mask up at grocery stores, places like Target and WalMart and Lowe's and even gyms. But when will I feel comfortable to go to a race or a movie or a school event or the doctor or my kid's baseball/softball games and not wear a mask? I don't know. I just do not feel ready to fully go back to whatever "normal" used to be.

I know I am not alone. I know there are others out there that have these same fears. I have read many articles, too many in fact, that all have the same title. They are always called, "When Will I Feel Safe Again", and I totally empathize and agree. I still do not feel safe. I still do not trust people I do not know. I went to Lowe's the other day to get house stuff, and I was one of four people wearing a mask, including the employees. The same thing happened at my local grocery store. I already stated that I am the only coach that still wears a mask. Even my wife is comfortable not wearing one when she comes to their games. Why am I not there yet? Does this mean there is something wrong with me? I have heard and read too many stories about people lying, or just skirting the CDC guidelines, and all those people are out and about. They have been this whole time. That is another thing, this pandemic is not over. It may feel like it, and I hope we are close to some kind of end, but people are still getting COVID. It is still out there. We still need to be vigilant. But I just wish that I could get to a personal place, a spot where I do feel okay. The reason why I am okay seeing friends and family maskless is because they have been safe, they are still being safe and they have all been vaccinated. Not to toot our own horns, but we have, and still continue to follow the guidelines to a T. I just am not at a place where I feel good enough to do that around strangers. My wife went to a Saint Louis Cardinals game earlier this year, and I have no desire to do that yet. Michigan Stadium has said they are going to be at full capacity in the fall, and I already told my dad maybe I will feel safer going in 2022. The Grizzlies look like they are going to be solid to really good for sometime, but I am not ready to go to an NBA arena to watch a game. My mom and I are in the process of getting a refund for our Rolling Stones tickets for a show we were supposed to see last summer. I'm just not there, I'm not ready, I do not feel safe, not yet.

Hopefully, as more and more folks get vaccinated, and please, please, please get that shot, and the vaccine becomes more available to everyone, my children included, I can get there. But for now, it is business as usual for me, with very few exceptions. It can be a drag at times, but hey, I'd rather just go about my life being safe and get the sideways looks I get. That makes me feel better as of now.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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