Ice Cream Belongs in a Damn Sugar Cone

I took my kids out for ice cream last night and my son and I got into a debate. I have also gotten into this exact same debate with my wife a few times. I ordered my cookies and cream scoop in a sugar cone. My son said that sugar cones were good, but waffle cones and cake cones are better.

I agree that waffle cones are better, but those are more of a treat. It also means I'm going to eat far too much ice cream if I'm getting a waffle cone. But a cake cone, come on man. I'm not here to say that cake cones are not good, but a sugar cone is far, far better. Cake cones are like eating styrofoam. They get all weird and cold and taste even harder when you get further down on the cone. The ice cream gets trapped in those little rectangles that are at the bottom and makes the cone frozen. The ice cream is packed all tight in there and it is like eating ice. Also, the cake cone doesn't stand up to the ice cream like a sugar cone. I'm forever worried that the ice cream is going to topple out of a cake cone whenever I order one. And it is not like I'm some doofus who doesn't know how to properly eat ice cream from a cone.

The sugar cone, it is perfect. It is nice and pointy at the bottom and easily holds the ice cream within its triangle. The taste is so much better than the cake cone. It tastes like a waffle cone, only a bit sweeter. It is also nice and crisp. It doesn't over freeze or trap the ice cream. It stands up nice and tall. The ice cream stands firm in the cone. It is the better of the two I've mentioned today, vessel for ice cream. I am also a big time fan of sugar cookies, so a sugar cone is almost the same. It is harder, but it still has the sweetness and feel of a nice sugar cookie. It is also cooler, like if ice cream cones could have a personality. Cake cones are the squares of the group. They are the soc's. Sugar cones are the greasers. They may be rough around the edges, but they are cool. They know how to fight and dance and talk to the people you like. They have cool hairdos and wear dope clothes and leather jackets. Cake cones are dorks that sit online and complain about "Star Wars" movies. Cake cones still live in their parents' basements. Cake cones live online and never have anything good to say.

That is how I truly feel if I give these inanimate objects personality. But I am curious what you all think. When it comes to cones for ice cream, which do you prefer, cake or sugar? I also don't want a ton of waffle cone or cup answers. Those are off the table. I want to know between the 2 which you prefer and why. Please let me know. But I do need you all to know in the long run that sugar is, and always will be, the best cone for ice cream.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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