Ty Does Not Watch the Oscars

As per usual for the last, I’d say 5 or 6 years, watched zero seconds of the Oscars. I have a computer and an iPhone, so I can check who won later that night, or the next day. I chose the next day this year, and I have to say, I was a bit shocked.

Now, I need to disclose up front that I have only seen 2 of the movies that were nominated, “BlackKlansman” and “Black Panther”. I much preferred “Black Panther”, but that’s neither here nor there. Also, I did see “Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse”, which definitely earned its Oscar, and I also saw the Pixar short, “Bao”, which was heartbreaking yet wonderful. Outside those, I saw nothing. But, I do read and hear things by public personalities and journalists that I enjoy. I heard all the lukewarm stuff towards “Bohemian Rhapsody”. I heard about the craziness that is “The Favourite”. I heard about the apparent snooze fest that was “Green Book”. I saw the, quite frankly, rough reviews of “Vice”. I’ve heard nothing but great things about “Roma”, and I have exactly zero interest in ever watching any iteration of “A Star is Born”.

My basic knowledge, and hope, was that “Black Panther” would win all the awards. Of course, it did not. That’s not to say it didn’t win anything. I’m pretty sure it won 4 statues, for stuff like costume design and whatnot. But, in my opinion, it should have won best picture, director, actor and all actresses awards. Since “Sorry to Bother You” got no nominations, and totally overlooked, “Black Panther” was my ride or die movie.

Since my favorites didn’t win any of the “major” awards, I was interested in who, and what, won. First off, I’ve never heard the song “Shallow”, but I already am sick of it. “All the Stars” should have won, or any one of the brand new Coup songs from the “STBY” soundtrack. But I digress. I’m totally done with “Shallow”. Secondly, when on earth is Spike Lee going to get his much deserved Oscar? I’m sure Alfonso Cuarno did a fine job with “Roma”, and I’m sure I’ll like it when I see it, but Lee is well overdue an Oscar, and while I thought “BlackKlansman” was just okay, Lee did a wonderful job directing it. By all accounts, best supporting actress was Regina King’s to lose. And, she won. That’s great. As far as Mahershala Ali going back to back for supporting actor, great. I’m just not so jazzed by the movie he won it for. I’m very stunned that Glenn Close didn’t win best actress. Everyone claimed that she was as much a shoe in as King. Well, Olivia Coleman won. And while I have every intention of seeing “The Favourite”, I like the weird stuff that director does, it was still a shock that Coleman won. This one seemed assured. I feel like this is when the show went off the rails. While I think Rami Malek is a fine actor, and will be for a long, long time, how did he win every big best actor award? I mean, “Bohemian Rhapsody” has so many problems, be it with the fudging of facts, the way they barely touch on Freddie Mercury’s sexuality and the scumbag of a director, this movie should have been doomed. Oh yeah, it also got crushed by critics. But Malek still won best actor. The crop was weak, maybe they should have put up LaKeith Stanfield and/or Chadwick Bosman or Michael B Jordan, but still, I cannot fathom how Malek won. The academy clearly just wants to keep giving the award to people that do impressions of famous people. That’s lazy.

But the biggest blunder of last night has to be “Green Book” winning best picture. Again, I was pulling for “Black Panther”, but I knew it wouldn’t win. Honestly, I thought “Roma” was the presumed winner. And if not “Roma”, I figured “The Favourite” would win. I never, ever thought “Green Book” would win. Like I said before, the movie seemed like a slog, Ali looked like the only good thing in it, the story is old and boring and the past stuff with the director and writer, lookup old tweets and flashing of genitalia, should have put the nail in its coffin. Or so I thought. Hell, even “Bohemian Rhapsody” might have been a better choice. This one is as puzzling as when “Crash” won. Maybe even more so. This is very, very confusing to me. I don’t know what the academy saw in “Green Book” to give it best picture, but they totally whiffed. This is a big time misfire.

Last night’s Oscars is why I’m glad I don’t waste three plus hours of my life watching these award shows. I mean, “Green Book” shouldn’t have even been a nominee, outside Ali. This is a baffling choice, and I’m sure this “win” will go down as one of the worst choices ever. This was bad, and the majority of the show, from what I’ve read, seemed like a mess. Oh well. I’m going to go watch some good movies now, like “STBY”, or “Teen Titans Go! To the Movies”, or “Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse”, or “Best F(r)iends”. Peace.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is aware that Spike Lee did win an Oscar for Adapted screenplay. He also does not think it makes up for the Oscars Spike did not win for “Do the Right Thing”, “Malcolm X”, “He Got Game”, “The 25th Hour” and any other film from the best director of his generation.

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