Better Never than Late on "Pretty Woman"

Over the weekend my wife showed me the movie "Pretty Woman". I had never seen it before. I have obviously heard of it before watching, and know of the most famous stuff from it, but I have never sat down and watched from start to finish with no interruptions. I was excited to see the movie because it feels like a cultural touchstone, especially for someone my age. I also tend to have the belief that Gary Marshall was a very good director.

So we watched. I paid full attention. I put my phone next to me and put it on vibrate. I barely looked at it. I wanted to consume this movie with almost my full attention. Unfortunately for me, the next two hours were pretty dull.

Now, don't get me wrong, this movie has its moments. Julia Roberts is wonderful in the movie. You could tell she was going to become a massive star after this movie. She has whatever "it" is needed to make it in Hollywood. I found her funny, charming, sweet and a delight to watch. The music is very much in the pocket of early to mid 90's glam pop. The songs were recognizable and memorable. I found myself bopping my head along from time to time. And the clothing couldn't have been more perfect for the era. It brought me back to a time with wild t-shirts, big shoulder pads and oversized suits. I'm talking about David Bryne from "Stop Making Sense" oversized. Hell, it was even great to see Hector Elizondo in a more understated and quiet role for him. He was fine and dandy in this movie.

Outside of those things, this movie was boring. Nothing really happens in it after Richard Gere picks Julia Roberts up off the road. They have their moments together, but it is never eye grabbing. The movie had my attention, but it didn't really force me to focus. What we essentially see is a couple meeting and deciding to stay together. There is the fact that Roberts plays a sex worker, but they hardly touch on that in the movie. It is mentioned, but never really shown outside of the first meeting and Gere paying her to stay with him for a week at the hotel. Her line of work could have played a much bigger part in this movie, but they hardly mined anything of note from it. We also have Jason Alexander playing the creep of all creeps. Even if I didn't have an idea about his role in this movie I could have picked out he was the bad guy right away. He was a cliche of a bad guy, even by 90's movie villain status. That whole scene at the end with him was gross as well. It made me sick to my stomach. We also have a great opportunity for Laura San Giacomo to really shine as a co-star. But she is a victim of this movie feeling like it needed to give Richard Gere more to do. She is in barely any scenes and it feels like she never gets to stretch her wings. And then we have Richard Gere. Gere is a fine actor, but this movie wastes his talent. He is quiet and brooding the whole time. I felt like I was watching a movie from Bruce Wayne's point of view. Minus the final scene of him walking up the ladder to meet Roberts at her apartment, he never really cracks a smile or raises his voice. It is almost as if he speaks in a whisper the whole movie. It was frustrating.

I wanted to like this movie. I had heard so many great things about it, I knew about the famous stuff, but the movie didn't live up to the expectations I built for it in my head. This was a miss for me. I'm glad I saw it, but I don't think I'll intentionally ever watch it again. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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