Better Never Than Late on "Venom: The Last Dance"

My wife and I watched "Venom: The Last Dance" over the weekend.

Oh boy.

A while back I wrote about how I enjoyed the first movie in the Tom Hardy "Venom" universe. That movie understood what it was supposed to be. It was silly. The relationship between Eddie Brock and Venom was one of the better love stories I've seen in a long time. The action sequences weren't great, but they were fun because everyone involved was in on the joke. I kept watching it and saying that I didn't know why, but I liked the movie. We watched the first movie again when we were in Mexico a few months ago, and it was then when it dawned on me that the first "Venom" movie is a perfect, lazy day on vacation movie. It lives in the background, you check it out for a minute or two and then you go back to relaxing. We did watch the second movie, but that one was too violent and too scary. They went for as much gore as a PG-13 movie could go for. The Eddie Brock and Venom duo wasn't as great, they wasted Woody Harrelson and the stuff with Michelle Williams just didn't hit. I was kind of bummed afterward because they went in a totally different direction. It had the opposite effect that the "Thor" movies had. Those movies shifted to more comedy where this movie shifted to violence.

But, with the third installment being called "The Last Dance", it piqued my interest. I was hoping that they'd go back to trying comedy and focusing a bit more on Brock and Venom. Well, this movie took a third tonal shift, and for me, it fell flat. This time they tried to go sentimental. This, for me, is not what this story should be. I wished they'd gone back to having fun and goofing around. I thought they would go for broke and make joke after joke after joke. They did not. I will say, they definitely spent more time on Brock and Venom's relationship. Those two were talking back and forth the entire time they were on screen. They worked on their relationship so much that they ended the movie with a montage from the previous movies. But, the way they spoke to one another was corny as hell. There was one scene where Venom turned into a horse, made Eddie ride him, and as they were going faster and faster, Venom said, "now that's what I call horsepower". That is some low level writing in my opinion. And this continued time and again. They got big name actors and barely used them. Juno Temple is onscreen for maybe five minutes. Chiwetel Ejiofor is there for a little longer, maybe ten minutes, and he is a cliched former army veteran. Rhys Ifans plays a hippy and it is not so great. They got all these great British actors to play Americans, and while they could've made jokes about that, they chose not to, which bummed me out. The action sequences were dull and boring. You get so many symbiotes in this movie, which should have been awesome, and they came and went far too fast. And the final scene between Venom and Eddie Brock, where they really tried to tug at the heartstrings, was not very good. You could see where it was going from the start, and to have one of them sacrifice themselves, I was not a fan.

I guess I'm happy that I get to watch the first one anytime I want. That movie will hold a special place for me. But I wish the people involved stuck with the goofiness. Three genre changes just simply didn't work. Maybe Tom Hardy had enough and was ready to be done with this role. I don't know, but "The Last Dance" was not as good as it could have been for me. Oh well. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Better Never Than Late on "The Kingsman"

Over the weekend we watched the two sequels to the movie "Kingsman". Let’s discuss.

I liked the first movie quite a bit. My wife did too. It is fun, gross, funny, action packed and has some good music. The story is also well done. As is the directing and acting. Colin Firth is really amazing in this movie. It is a departure for him, and he totally crushes it. He is the true star of it to me.

The second movie is okay. It is a solid sequel. It keeps the fun and ups the gore. The addition of Julianne Moore was solid as well. She chews the scenery, but that is what I assumed they asked her to do. The meat grinder in her village is wild too. But, it is not as good as the original. Most sequels aren't as good as the originals. There are exceptions, but the second "Kingsman" is not one of them. But still, I enjoyed my time watching the movie.

The newest one, a prequel called "The King's Man", was unnecessary. It is streaming on HBO Max and we had a free night at home Saturday. My wife really wanted to watch it to complete the trilogy, so we watched it. This movie is so different from the first two. There is no more of the fun. This one takes itself incredibly seriously. I don't know that I could pick out one single joke from the whole two plus hours. That is to be expected when Ralph Fiennes is the star of your movie, but he proved in "The Menu" that he can do jokes. He has decent comedic timing. But he is a more serious actor. But why place him as the lead in a movie trilogy that is supposed to be loud and goofy and silly and violent? That was miscasting in my opinion.

The story is also weird and hard to follow. There is a family in the beginning and the wife gets killed. Common story. But instead of going into the whole spy world thing that "Kingsman" has become known for, they focus on war. This is pretty much a straight ahead war movie. I did not expect that, and for me, it did not work. They have some wild follies, but even they came off as boring. Each bad guy was bland, except for Rhy Ifans. He played Rasputin and I feel like he was the only one that had seen the previous movies. He looked to be having the time of his life, but it also made him feel wildly out of place. He does have the best fight scene in the movie too, but it happens so fast and so early that by the end I had forgotten he was in the movie at all. The plot with Fiennes and his kid was so after school special-y as well. He wanted to go to war, his dad wanted to protect him, his dad loosened the strings and then his son, spoiler alert, dies carelessly in the war. It was so odd and felt like it was in a totally different movie. Even as they build the whole spy world, far too late in the movie, it felt tacked on. It felt like Matthew Vaughan, a director I really like, forgot what movie he was making until the very last few minutes. The major fight scene at the end with Fiennes and Djimonou Hounsou was boring. They also sorely under utilized Honsou. He could have been great in this movie. And then, when they were quickly wrapping things up, they tried to bring in fans of the original. They used the codenames, they gave them the look, but at that point it was far too late. They also introduced three characters, characters that seemed like they have big plans for the future, but it just fell flat.

I was not a fan of this movie. It lacked all the fun of the first movie. It lacked the gore of the second movie. They changed the tone far too much. I did not expect to see a hard war drama, but that was basically what we got. Oh well, they can't all be winners I guess. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.