An Ode to The Greatness of Relish

For years and years I was the type of person that put either ketchup or barbeque sauce on my hot dogs. That was what I liked. And the sweeter the ketchup or BBQ sauce, the better. I'd slather my dog in either sauce, put it on a bun and scarf it down. That was the best of the best for me. That was how I liked my dogs at home, when they were grilled, or when I was at a ball game.

As I got older I started to switch it up a teeny bit. I let go of the BBQ sauce, especially if the hot dog was grilled. And while still adding ketchup, I would put a little yellow mustard on it. I liked the vinegar taste the mustard added. Then I started to add topping. Shredded cheese was a big deal. Caramelized onions became one of my favorites. I loved a good chili cheese dog. I liked pickle spears. When we would go to Illinois, I fell in love with Portillo's hot dogs.

About four years ago I stopped eating ketchup. I realized how truly awful it is for you, and it was easy for me to give up, so I let it go. I do not eat ketchup anymore. Not on hot dogs or fries or burgers. I order those items and ask for no ketchup. And all the other stuff I was putting on hot dogs became too much. It was ungapatchka as Nick Wiger would say. We have this great hot dog place in Saint Louis. Steve's Dogs, and they specialize in hot dogs overstuffed with toppings. While I enjoy a Steve's Hot Dog from time to time, it can be a bit much. So lately I have only been putting mustard on my dogs. I don't eat buns anymore either, unless it is a "cheat day" on my diet, so just a Nathan's hot dog with some brown or generic classic yellow mustard is all I need.

During our stay with my folks, my dad and mom suggested I try relish with my hot dog. I have never liked relish. Well, to be honest, it always looked gross to me so I never gave it a chance. I would see my dad eat it at a ball game, my mom would eat it when we grilled at home when I was a child, but I never gave it a fair shot. So when they suggested I try it, I was pretty hesitant. My mom said it was just finely chopped pickles in liquid. I am not a humongous pickle guy, but then my dad reminded me how much I like Portillo's, and they have pickle spears on their famous hot dogs. So my wife, who also never tried relish, and I decided to give it a go, and man was it great. I was stunned at how much I liked the taste. I had my Nathan's, I had the classic yellow mustard and then I added a little relish at first. The extra vinegar, the crunch and the acid made it a perfect mix of flavors. I loved it. Then I decided I wanted to try it on a bun, just to get the full feel. That was even better. Getting that white hot dog bun, the generic brand, adding a good amount of relish to the bottom of it, then putting the hot dog on top of the relish and adding a squeeze of yellow mustard, it was the best hot dog I have ever had. It was the perfect bite of hot dog. This was what I was missing all those years. I finally understood, after 38 years, the appeal of relish on a hot dog. I do have to add the caveat, I used dill relish. I tried sweet relish, but I do not like sweet pickles, so that was a no go for me. But I am a dill pickle fan, so the dill pickle relish is perfect for me. I have been eating it with my hot dogs ever since. In fact for lunch today I had some hot dogs and I added dill relish and yellow mustard and it was great. I highly recommend, if you have just blown off relish for all these years, to give it a shot. It is really, really tasty. My five year old loved it so much that she piled it on her hot dog the other night, and actually took the hot dog out and ate a relish sandwich. That may sound gross, but she devoured it, and me, my wife, my daughter and my mom and dad all enjoyed dill relish on our hot dogs the past couple of days.

I am looking forward to the next time I grill hot dogs just so I can put some relish on it. It is a dynamite condiment.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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