Liar Urban Meyer is Probably Lying About His Latest Retirement

Artist Depiction of Ty every few years when Urban decides to “retire”

This morning I woke up to the news, much like everyone else that follows college football, to the news that Urban Meyer is stepping down after the Rose Bowl.

It is like deja vu. I have seen this story before. I have heard the whispers and the whining and the acting and the destruction that he has left behind before. I have bore witness to this whole story about 10 years ago. He left Florida after a supposed heart condition. His Florida teams were good, playing in major bowl games, winning a national title, but the last few years there his teams weren't winning like they had before, and he saw some other teams, (clears throat) Alabama mainly, coming on strong. He saw the writing on the wall, spent his last season at Florida saying he wanted to be with family, his health was concerning him, and he had to step away.

Meyer then proceeded to take a few years off from coaching. But, he did do television. He was okay enough to fly around the country calling games for ESPN, and work those crazy hours with his "heart condition", but he claimed he couldn't coach.

Then the University of Ohio State went through all the Jim Tressel stuff, had to fire him, and they had to move to an assistant to take over for a year. It was one of the not so good years for them, and the Meyer rumors started. Remember, he left because of a "heart condition", but after a few years away, I guess he felt good enough, and was cleared by some quack doctor to come back and coach at his "dream school".

Now, to get off his case for just one second, he did wonders there. He won a national title. He had a consistent top 10 team. He never lost to Michigan. He never lost to Penn State. He dominated the Big Ten pretty much. Meyer is a hell of a college football coach, but he is a miserable human being, and he is a liar. Back to the hatred.

Before this season started the stories came out that he lied about covering up domestic abuse. I have given more than my share on how I feel about all of this on the site and the podcast. This is a vile, heartless, disgusting and disturbing thing he did. He covered for a guy that was doing cocaine on camera, hitting his then wife and constantly cheating on her. Meyer cared more about winning than helping this poor lady that was abused in more ways than one by a friend of his. That is appalling. The fact that this story dropped before the season started, and he was caught red handed lying to everyone, should have been more than enough to fire him. What did the University of Ohio State do though? They suspended him for three games. That's it. Three non essential games that they could have won with Lee Corso as the coach. What a shame.

When he came back Meyer all of the sudden started to look tired and distressed on the sidelines. Then his team started to really struggle against the lower tier of the Big Ten. They struggled with Nebraska, Minnesota and Maryland. Then Purdue crushed them. Those teams are a combined 21-27. I know, believe me I know, I wrote about it, exactly what they did to Michigan. But even during that game, Meyer was doing his same acting he did for the majority of the year when he came back. We could see the camera find him and he would be doubled over and grabbing his head whenever there was a tense moment in the game. People claimed he would be near passing out before, during and after games. Dumb ass announcers proclaimed that he was "coaching through so much pain. What a warrior" they would say.

This was all an act. I will believe that to my grave. He knew what he did was wrong. He knew he lied and he knew he got caught. He knew the hammer was going to come down on him one way or another. And like a grounded child, or an adult that has never faced any real consequences for their horrid actions, he pretended to be hurt. He pretended that he was in some unfathomable pain that no one could ever understand. He wanted people to feel sorry for him. He wanted an excuse so he could walk away, just like his ending at Florida.

This is an all too familiar story with this asshole. I'm curious if he was forced to retire. I'm curious if there is some sanction writing on the wall that he knows is coming, and he wants to get out before all that comes down, just like at Florida. I want to know the truth. I want to know why he picked now as opposed to earlier this year, or way, way far in the future.

I also know Meyer claimed today that he is done coaching forever. I do not buy that for one single second. I have already heard multiple credible sources say that he is just waiting for the USC job to open. I also heard that his real "dream job" is Notre Dame. I would be curious to see if he dips his toes in the NFL, but that would be a colossal failure. He is not a NFL coach. Not even close. This "retirement" is just as fake and phony as his "retirement" from Florida.

Urban Meyer is a liar, a cheater, a whiner, a crybaby and a despicable person. I do not now, nor will I ever, believe a word that comes out of his mouth. He wants people to feel sorry for him. He wants us to cry for him. He wants us to remember him as a coach that left at the top of his game. That is not how I will remember him at all, and it has nothing to do with my Michigan fandom. I've already talked ad nauseam about how he owns them. I will remember him as a liar and a coward. And when he comes back in 2 or 3 years, and he is suddenly "healthy" again, I'll be just as ready in 6 or 7 years when he gets caught cheating or lying once again, and he announces he is "retiring" to be with family and to get healthy.

Urban Meyer is a liar. He is a despicable human being. I will not miss him for one single second. Good riddance.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Does OSU want Ty to come and visit. Let him be the one to slam the door on Urban Meyer’s ass when the coach leaves and Ty will be there.

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