Ty Ranks the 2023 - 2024 NBA Teams - Opening Band at the Local Dive Bar Division

The NBA season is right around the corner, so that means I am here to rank the teams from worst to best, in my own opinion. This is based on my knowledge of the game and how the teams changed in the offseason. When I did my initial rankings I found it kind of tough. The NBA has some really good teams, and even the teams that aren't very good, they have a bunch of fun players that I cannot wait to watch. I'll do five teams a day and finish up with a prediction blog. Without further ado, let's get started.

At 30 I have the Washington Wizards. They are finally going into full rebuild mode. It is about time. They let Bradley Beal go. They let Kristaps Porzingis go. They gave Kyle Kuzma money to keep the new core young. And they traded for Jordan Poole. Poole will score a lot and do not much else. Kyle Kuzma will have solid games from time to time, but counting on him to be one of your top players seems odd. Tyus Jones was a great pickup in a trade, but I would bet money that he will be on a contender really soon. I love the Bilal Coulibaly pick. He looks like he could be a steal. Deni Avdija is there and plays solid defense, but is a zero on offense. Then there is a major fall off. Johnny Davis hasn't figured it out. Landry Shamet keeps getting traded. Corey Kispert is a wash. Taj Gibson is still here. It is a real mishmash. But, I like that they are finally embracing a rebuild. Jordan Poole will score a ton, but this team will not win many games.

At number 29 I have the Detroit Pistons. I don't know how to gauge this team. They have some really good players, but those players are super young and wildly unproven. They cannot stay healthy either. If they get these guys on the court and some pop, they could be better than this. Cade Cunningham is awesome, when he plays. The dude can shoot and has a very high passing IQ. He is even a solid defender. He just has to stay on the court. Jaden Ivey is fast and looked like he was figuring it out near the end of last season. He is like a young Russell Westbrook. Jalen Duren is big and imposing. He is also only 20 years old right now. I love the Ausar Thompson pick. That kid looks legit. They took a flyer on James Wiseman, and maybe playing with no pressure will wake him up, a la Markelle Fultz. Bojan Bogdanovic is a great shooter and a hot trade asset. Joe Harris is here somehow. Isaiah Stewart is imposing, but not much else. Isaiah Livers has moments. And Marvin Bagley got paid and may get to show some stuff this season. But the team is too inexperienced and doesn't have any kind of continuity yet. Time will tell, but I don't think they have it figured out yet. Maybe in two or three years.

At 28 I have the San Antonio Spurs. I love what this team has done. They struck gold in the last lottery. They got Greg Poppovich to sign an extension and they can do a whole lot of stuff in the trade market if they choose. But this team is so very young and they will need a few years to be a perennial playoff team again. Victor Webayama is the future here. He was the lottery win. He is long, lean and blocks so many shots. He will put on weight and get tougher. But he is already a demon on defense, can rebound and he will stretch the floor. Just give him time. Keldon Johnson is a very good, very little known player. He is a perfect Spur. Jeremy Sochan is one of my new favorite players. This kid does all the dirty work and seems to enjoy it. He is a blast to watch. Malaki Branham is going to become a better known name this year. That was a steal in last year's draft. Devin Vassell just got paid and is their best, most pure scorer on the roster. Tre Jones is a serviceable point guard. Then they went out and acquired Reggie Bullock. They still have Zach Collins. Doug McDermott is still around. The Spurs have guys, too many right now. But this team is all about the youth. They will have growing pains, but this team is on the rise. Just not yet.

At number 27 I have the Portland Trailblazers. This team is rebuilding much like the Wizards, they just have better players. Scoot Henderson is the real deal. That kid is going to be amazing from day 1. I think he has a real shot to average 20 plus points a game, and win rookie of the year. Shadeon Sharpe is good as well. He has so much bounce, can rebound and his shot is improving. I love watching Sharpe play. Anfernee Simons is going to score a ton. He is the vet on this team and I think he will like the constant green light to shoot. Jerami Grant is around too, and he is going to really feed off the players on the roster now. I love that they got Deandre Ayton and Rob Williams in recent trades. Those two will make for a nice front court, with major health and will issues. I like both dudes, but Ayton isn't always engaged and Williams is constantly hurt. They have other vets like Malcom Brogdon and Matisse Thybulle, who are okay. And then they got this Toumani Camara rookie in a trade and people seem to love him. The Blazers will not win a ton, but they will be one of the most fun teams to watch all year. They should have massive highlights all year long.

The final team for the day, at 26 I have the Charlotte Hornets. LaMelo Ball is their dude. He looks good right now, but he still has a funky shot and cannot stay on the floor. He is so much fun to watch play, when he plays. He has kind of regressed into a ball hog a bit, but maybe that will change this season. Brandon Miller looks like a very good pick, but his fit is weird here. He will start because he is very talented, but I don't know how much he will help the team win. PJ Washington is around for a bit longer, and while he is solid, he doesn't get enough touches to tip the scale. Terry Rozier can score a lot if given enough shots, but he will do nothing else. After those guys the roster is bleak. Nick Richard is an okay backup center, but he might have to start here. Mark Williams is too raw. James Bouknight has never been solid enough to garner big minutes. Cody Martin is the second best Martin in his family. JT Thor, while having a dope name, is not the best big man in the league. The Hornets are not a very good basketball team. They have a star in LaMelo Ball, but he is not the massive, massive star they hoped they were getting. This team has some pieces to figure out on the roster. Maybe they will address some of that in next year's draft.

That is it for today. Come back tomorrow for the next five teams. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

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