Ty Ranks the 2023 NFL Teams: A Fountain Coke at McDonalds Division

Welcome to day eight, the final day of my 2023 preseason NFL rankings. Next Monday I will do playoff predictions and my picks for award winners. And Tuesday will be my massive NCAA football blog. But today we wrap up the final four. These are the best of the best. These are the four teams that, barring massive injuries, should be in it all season long.

At number four I have the San Francisco 49ers. Don't like this team. I never have. I don't think Brock Purdy is all that great. But the team around him is absolutely loaded. Christian McCaffery is the ideal modern running back, when he is on the field. He is a great runner and maybe even a better pass catcher. He is awesome. Deebo Samuel is doing things at wideout that I have never seen before. He can line up anywhere and he is a threat to score at any time. Brandon Aiyuk gets better with every passing season. Jauan Jennings is one of these guys I've never heard of, but will be as consistent as they get. George Kittle is mildly overrated, and needs to let go of having hair, but the dude produces. The o line is nasty and mean. The defense is very good, maybe the best in the NFL. Much like his brother, I cannot stand Bosa's off field issues, but Nick Bosa may be even better than Joey Bosa. I still don't like either of them though. Arik Armstead has proven to be great. Fred Warner is one of the best linebackers in the league. Dre Greenlaw is no slouch either. The secondary, led by Tashaun Gipson, is as good as it gets in the NFL. The 49ers are loaded everywhere except QB. That shouldn't matter though. They can grind on offense and dominate on defense. They are a very, very good football team.

At number three I have the Philadelphia Eagles. They are much like the 49ers, except their QB is legit. Jalen Hurts is magnetic. I liked him in college and I like him even more in the pros. He is like a poor man's Mike Vick, and that is a compliment. Hurts is so finely tuned to run this offense and he does it at the highest level. I think they may miss Miles Sanders more than they are letting on, but D'Andre Swift is still very capable. Rashaad Penny and Kenneth Gainwell will get plenty of reps as well. They are the deepest backfield in the NFL. DeVonta Smith is amazing. He is everything they could have ever wanted him to be. This kid is going to have an incredible career when it is all said and done. AJ Brown is no slouch as well. He has thrived since being traded to the Eagles. The o line is the best in the NFL. No question. They are nasty and disciplined. The defense is elite as well. Brandon Graham is still getting a bunch of sacks in the twilight of his career. Jalen Carter may be the biggest human being I have ever seen. Fletcher Cox is still one of the best d lineman. Nakobe Dean looks to be the real deal, if he can stay on the field. Hasson Reddick should thrive here. Darius Slay leads an absolutely dominant secondary. The Eagles are here to stay and they may very well end up winning it all this year.

At number two I have the Cincinnati Bengals. Who would have thought they'd be this high? Not me. Joe Burrow is the second best QB in the league. The kid is a total gunslinger and he puts up numbers. Ja'Marr Chase is one of my favorite players to watch and I am thrilled the Bengals drafted him when they did. Joe Mixon has off field things to sort out, but on the field he is pretty dynamite. Chris Evans is a solid backup. Tee Higgins and Tyler Boyd form a dynamic wideout trio along with Chase. Good luck trying to lock down all three in one game. Their o line has vastly improved since they were in the Super Bowl. Even the defense has gotten better. Sam Hubbard is a turnover forcing machine. He can also bring them back for six. Dax Hill should be even better in year two. Trey Hendrickson is a force off the edge. Chidobe Awuzie will have a good year. The Bengals are here to stay as long as they keep this young offense together. The d is not at the level of some of the other teams up here, but that offense is so good, they are the true team that can outscore anyone at any time.

As for number one, you all know it is the Kansas City Chiefs. Who is better than them? Who has a better offense? Who has the best QB? Who has the best tight end? Who runs the best plays? The answer to all of those questions is the Chiefs. Patrick Mahomes is a hall of fame player already. He is going to go down as one of the best to ever play the game. He does some of the wildest stuff ever, and it works. He is amazing. Isiah Pacheco has slid right into the starting running back role with ease. They also have Jerick McKinnon and Clyde Edwards-Helaire to take some carries and make catches out of the back field. Kadarius Toney, Marquez Valdes-Scantling and Skyy Moore may not be big names, but everyone will know who all three are when Mahomes starts slinging TD's their way. Travis Kelce is the best tight end in the league right now, and may be one of the best to ever play. He is magnificent. He and Mahomes form a deadly duo. The o line does just enough to give Mahomes the time he needs and to open up holes for the run game. The defense is meh, but it doesn't really matter. Chris Jones is their best down lineman, but he is currently holding out for a big contract. I agree with his decision. George Karlaftis may end up being a good edge rusher. Nick Bolton is a very solid linebacker. Trent McDuffie is young, but he may be their best cover guy. And Justin Reid is a fine enough safety. When you look at the Chiefs roster it doesn't jump out with a ton of big names, except two, Mahomes and Kelce. That is all they really need to win a lot of games and titles. They have proven time and again that they are the new class of the modern NFL. There is no better team than the Chiefs right now.

Okay, that is my eight day ranking of all 32 NFL teams. I'm sure a lot of people disagree with some of the picks, but that is what lists are for. I want to have a conversation about why I am wrong or right. Come back next week for two more football blogs. It is nearing the most wonderful time of the sports year. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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