Better Never than Late on "The Star Wars Holiday Special"

Just yesterday I saw “The Star Wars Holiday Special”. This has been a curiosity of mine for quite some time. I’ve heard about its awfulness from many different sources. I’ve heard about it from RD himself. It became a white whale for a bit due to it being tough to find. The people involved dislike it. The fans dislike it. The critics dislike it. George Lucas tried to bury this thing. This was something I wanted to see but never really thought I would have a chance. But now it’s relatively easy to find. RD sent me a copy from YouTube. The quality may not be great, but it’s watchable. I had little to no issues. But, having now seen it, I kind of wish I could go back to the time before I saw this piece of trash.

Look, I’ve been a lot better on this site lately. I am trying to stay away from being negative. But this special is truly vile. It may be the worst piece of content I’ve ever seen. I was getting visibly annoyed during the 90 minute watch. My wife asked why I was mad. My son kept calling up to me from our downstairs saying, “what’s going on up there?”. My daughter, luckily for her, didn’t see my attitude during my “Star Wars” special watch. But when I say this thing is bad, I mean it’s truly, exceptionally terrible.

The special has no through line. They try to use “Life Day”, a supposed Wookie holiday, as the impetus for this special, but it’s sparse and not really touched on until the very end. This is a sketch special, but not in a good way. RD had me watch Paul Lynde’s Halloween special in October, and while nonsensical, Halloween was up front. Life Day is a non starter here. But, we do meet Chewbacca’s family. Apparently he has a wife and kid and his dad lives with them. We never see them in visual content anymore, but they are the stars here. We also get two song breaks. One is from Diane Carroll in a very odd, mastubatory fantasy from Chewbacca’s dad. It’s very weird. The other is a Jefferson Starship song, which is kind of cool, but it’s after their “White Rabbit” heyday. There’s no more Grace Slick, which is a drag. We do get the stars, Mark Hammill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Peter Mayhew, C-3PO and R2D2 are all here and all phoning it in. Bea Arthur shows up. Her sketch is dreadful and there a seemingly endless song and dance number. Harvey Korman is in three different sketches, all progressively worse. Art Carney gives his all, but the written dialogue is awful. There’s dumbass Imperial Guards. They have a voiceover from James Earl Jones, but we don’t get any new Darth Vader stuff. It’s just a scene ripped from the movie. The stars are there physically, but definitely not mentally. There’s an odd dance/circus number that Chewbacca’s son watches. They try to shoehorn bad jokes. They have an oddly placed cartoon, which I guess true fans like, but it just confused me. I don’t know. I guess I just don’t get it.

This special is unequivocally bad. I don’t think there’s a person who genuinely likes this. If someone says they do they’re lying to you and themselves. This special made me mad because they have this great source material, yet they somehow managed to make it excruciatingly boring and pointless. I loathed this. I do not recommend anyone watch this. It’s not even bad fun. You can’t even make fun of how bad it is because it’s so terrible. There’s nothing redeemable or fun about this. I truly believe this is one of, if not the, worst piece of content that’s ever been put out there. I’d rather watch knee surgery than watch this special ever again. “The Star Wars Holiday Special” is in the Hall of Fame of bad visual content. It may be the MVP.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Seedsing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 11 - "The Twilight Zone: The Night of the Meek"

ed note: This article originally premiered on December 11th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 11: "The Twilight Zone - The Night of the Meek"

Original air date - December 23rd, 1960

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Our lot in life helps determine our truest wish. Almost any good hearted person, rich or poor, will wish for kindness to all of their fellow citizens of earth. The wealthy will fulfill their wishes by giving to charity, donating their time, and finding other ways to enrich the poor. People who are at the bottom of the economic ladder will also want to help their fellow man, knowing that they are also part of this group that needs help. Some people who are very poor will be obsessed with helping their neighbors and do not have the means to achieve their wish. Many times these dreamers can only find their solace in the bottom of a bottle. If they, along with the rest of the meek, can not get at least one day of joy, then the dreamer can choose to weep or drink. Most of the time they drink.

In the second season of the influential television series, The Twilight Zone saw the first of the anthology series Christmas themed episodes. In "The Night of the Meek" Honeymooners actor Art Carney played the role of Henry Corwin. Narrator Rod Serling explains that Mr. Corwin is a normally unemployed man who once a year plays the role of Santa Claus at a local department store. Corwin starts the episode in a bar having finished six drinks and half a sandwich. When the bartender catches the department store Santa grabbing a bottle of booze, Corwin is kicked out into the snowy street on Christmas Eve. 

It was a good thing Corwin was kicked out of the bar, because he was an hour late to his job of being Santa at the department store. His boss, Mr. Dundee, is not pleased that his Santa is late and drunk as a skunk. Corwin can not even get through the first rotten child, terribly named Percival in the kids own mind, before he stumbles drunkenly out of his chair. Percival's obnoxious mother doubles her terribleness and tells off Mr. Dundee. With all the unpleasantness that just happened, Mr. Dundee fires Corwin's Santa and calls him a drunk. Corwin apologizes for his condition and explains to Mr. Dundee, and all the assembled children, that he has to drink or he will constantly weep. He is so saddened during the Christmas season to look around his tenement and see children who are hungry and have no toys to play with. Just once he would like to see the meek inherit the earth. Since that seems like an impossible dream, Henry Corwin must drink, or he will weep.

The audience witnessed Santa Corwin's weeping earlier when the poor children were asking for gifts, and for their daddies to have jobs. Knowing he has no choice to drink, Corwin heads back to the bar. The bartender will not let Corwin in because as he tells the other patrons, "Santa is a lush."

Left with nowhere to go, Corwin hears bells in the air and spots an old sack on the ground. He notices the sack is filled with presents and immediately goes out to search for the kids. Each kid asks for a particular gift, and Corwin delivers the exact wish. With his renewed holiday spirit, Santa Corwin heads to a church service at the mens shelter. After he insults Sister Florence with the promise of a new dress, Santa Corwin is giving all the poor men their exact wishes. A pipe, a cane, a sweater, a smoking jacket, all of it was magically coming out of Santa's bag. The meek were getting at least one day of joy.

The gift extravaganza ends when Sister Florence brings Officer Flaherty in to arrest Santa Corwin for theft. At the station Flaherty is joined by Mr. Dundee and the two men demand to know how and why Corwin robbed the department store. Santa Corwin is filled with joy as he explains that the bag just gives out the people's wishes. Mr. Dundee will not have it and starts berating Officer Flaherty while the store manager digs in the bag to only pull out empty cans and a confused cat. When Corwin asks Mr Dundee what his wish for Christmas is, the rude store manager says a vintage 1903 cherry brandy, that was a good year. Without fail, Santa Corwin produces the bottle and leaves to deliver more joy to the meek. 

In the end, one of Henry Corwin's fellow tenement dwellers remarks that there is nothing in the bag for Corwin. Santa Corwin responds he got the greatest gift of all, he was able to really be Santa for the night. With Corwin left alone, in pure and sober joy, he hears those bells again. As he goes to search out the sound, Corwin is presented with a reindeer-led sleigh and a joyful elf. The elf tells Santa that it is time to go and get ready for next year. Still confused, Santa Corwin gets in the sleigh and takes off towards the North Pole. Mr. Dundee, who is now drunk off of great cherry brandy, spots Corwin in the sky and offers cheers to Officer Flaherty for miracles on Christmas Day.

We all have our hopes and wishes around Christmas time. Those without want can usually fill their hearts with the spirit of the season by giving to any charity of their choice. The poor do not have this option. They see the want in kids and adults like and can only find solace in hard drink. They have their misery amplified by Christmas. But as mid-twentieth century philosopher Rod Serling says "There's a wondrous magic to Christmas and there's a special power reserved for little people. In short, there's nothing mightier than the meek."

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Want to know about the plight of mall Santa? Check out the great Fountains of Wayne song, "The Man in the Santa Suit".

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 11 - "The Twilight Zone: The Night of the Meek"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 11: "The Twilight Zone - The Night of the Meek"

Original air date - December 23rd, 1960

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Our lot in life helps determine our truest wish. Almost any good hearted person, rich or poor, will wish for kindness to all of their fellow citizens of earth. The wealthy will fulfill their wishes by giving to charity, donating their time, and finding other ways to enrich the poor. People who are at the bottom of the economic ladder will also want to help their fellow man, knowing that they are also part of this group that needs help. Some people who are very poor will be obsessed with helping their neighbors and do not have the means to achieve their wish. Many times these dreamers can only find their solace in the bottom of a bottle. If they, along with the rest of the meek, can not get at least one day of joy, then the dreamer can choose to weep or drink. Most of the time they drink.

In the second season of the influential television series, The Twilight Zone saw the first of the anthology series Christmas themed episodes. In "The Night of the Meek" Honeymooners actor Art Carney played the role of Henry Corwin. Narrator Rod Serling explains that Mr. Corwin is a normally unemployed man who once a year plays the role of Santa Claus at a local department store. Corwin starts the episode in a bar having finished six drinks and half a sandwich. When the bartender catches the department store Santa grabbing a bottle of booze, Corwin is kicked out into the snowy street on Christmas Eve. 

It was a good thing Corwin was kicked out of the bar, because he was an hour late to his job of being Santa at the department store. His boss, Mr. Dundee, is not pleased that his Santa is late and drunk as a skunk. Corwin can not even get through the first rotten child, terribly named Percival in the kids own mind, before he stumbles drunkenly out of his chair. Percival's obnoxious mother doubles her terribleness and tells off Mr. Dundee. With all the unpleasantness that just happened, Mr. Dundee fires Corwin's Santa and calls him a drunk. Corwin apologizes for his condition and explains to Mr. Dundee, and all the assembled children, that he has to drink or he will constantly weep. He is so saddened during the Christmas season to look around his tenement and see children who are hungry and have no toys to play with. Just once he would like to see the meek inherit the earth. Since that seems like an impossible dream, Henry Corwin must drink, or he will weep.

The audience witnessed Santa Corwin's weeping earlier when the poor children were asking for gifts, and for their daddies to have jobs. Knowing he has no choice to drink, Corwin heads back to the bar. The bartender will not let Corwin in because as he tells the other patrons, "Santa is a lush."

Left with nowhere to go, Corwin hears bells in the air and spots an old sack on the ground. He notices the sack is filled with presents and immediately goes out to search for the kids. Each kid asks for a particular gift, and Corwin delivers the exact wish. With his renewed holiday spirit, Santa Corwin heads to a church service at the mens shelter. After he insults Sister Florence with the promise of a new dress, Santa Corwin is giving all the poor men their exact wishes. A pipe, a cane, a sweater, a smoking jacket, all of it was magically coming out of Santa's bag. The meek were getting at least one day of joy.

The gift extravaganza ends when Sister Florence brings Officer Flaherty in to arrest Santa Corwin for theft. At the station Flaherty is joined by Mr. Dundee and the two men demand to know how and why Corwin robbed the department store. Santa Corwin is filled with joy as he explains that the bag just gives out the people's wishes. Mr. Dundee will not have it and starts berating Officer Flaherty while the store manager digs in the bag to only pull out empty cans and a confused cat. When Corwin asks Mr Dundee what his wish for Christmas is, the rude store manager says a vintage 1903 cherry brandy, that was a good year. Without fail, Santa Corwin produces the bottle and leaves to deliver more joy to the meek. 

In the end, one of Henry Corwin's fellow tenement dwellers remarks that there is nothing in the bag for Corwin. Santa Corwin responds he got the greatest gift of all, he was able to really be Santa for the night. With Corwin left alone, in pure and sober joy, he hears those bells again. As he goes to search out the sound, Corwin is presented with a reindeer-led sleigh and a joyful elf. The elf tells Santa that it is time to go and get ready for next year. Still confused, Santa Corwin gets in the sleigh and takes off towards the North Pole. Mr. Dundee, who is now drunk off of great cherry brandy, spots Corwin in the sky and offers cheers to Officer Flaherty for miracles on Christmas Day.

We all have our hopes and wishes around Christmas time. Those without want can usually fill their hearts with the spirit of the season by giving to any charity of their choice. The poor do not have this option. They see the want in kids and adults like and can only find solace in hard drink. They have their misery amplified by Christmas. But as mid-twentieth century philosopher Rod Serling says "There's a wondrous magic to Christmas and there's a special power reserved for little people. In short, there's nothing mightier than the meek."

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Want to know about the plight of mall Santa? Check out the great Fountains of Wayne song, "The Man in the Santa Suit".

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.