For Some Reason Ty Decides to Watch "Morbius"

A lot of the movie podcasts I listen to have been talking about "Morbius" lately. A lot. It has been a very big topic of conversation for some odd reason. All this talk had me intrigued. I obviously know about this movie. How can you not at this point? I am also fully aware of the bad press and critical reviews it got after its release. None of this is news to me. But hearing funny people I like talk about how wild this movie is, it piqued my interest. I had to know what all the fuss was about.

So I watched it. I did not know where I was going to find it, but it is right there, front and center, on Netflix. I turned it on the other day and was floored by what I watched.

This movie is bad. Really, really, really bad. There are no redeeming qualities. There wasn't a single part of this movie that I found likable. I didn't get what they were trying to do with this little known character. I should have known something was off when it said "In association with Marvel". Marvel has given their name to crap like "Venom", but they only wanted "association" with "Morbius". Then, as the movie unfolded, I found myself quite bored. That is the best way I can describe my main emotion watching this hunk of junk. The movie is dull. It is gray and dreary. The dialogue is slow and quiet. The action sequences are filled with slow motion and stuff that every other movie before it has already done. I saw Keanu Reeves dodge bullets in "The Matrix" while I was still in high school. I've seen way cooler vampire imagery in "Blade" and "What We Do in the Shadows". I've heard better quips in every single other Marvel movie. This is just a flat out bad movie. I do not like Jared Leto. Never have, never will. I think one of the few movies where he is the main character that I enjoy is "Requiem For a Dream". He is barely in "Blade Runner 2049", and that is a good thing. He won an Oscar for "Dallas Buyers Club", but go watch his performance. It is offensive. Other than that he is not good in his movies. And "Morbius" is no exception. He is rough. He walks with crutches and that feels offensive. His line readings are dull and tired. He has no chemistry with anyone on screen. And he was supposedly real tough to work with on this set, which should surprise no one. Matt Smith, who is a very good actor, is given no favors here. His dialogue is bad. The direction he was given is wrong. He is being led astray in this movie. His talents are useless here. The female lead is a stereotype. She is just there to be a female voice. She is the only actor here who is any good, but she is given so little to work with. Much like Smith, her talents are wasted. Tyrese Gibson and Al Madigral are no good as the cops. They seem to care too little about vampires and their facial expressions never change. Madrigal is a brilliant comedian, but he is left to be the straight man in this movie. Again, another talented person being asked to do the things that they don't do well.

This whole thing is a mess. I finished it the other day and fell asleep for a few minutes during the final battle. That should tell you all you need to know about this dreadful movie. I was moved by people much funnier than me talking about this movie, but it was a total waste of time. I see why the critics were so critical of this movie. I hope they stop right here and do not make any more of these because they will not make any money. "Morbius" is bad. Even at 1 hour and 47 minutes it feels LONG. Don't watch it. Save yourself the time. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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SeedSing Classic: The Advent Calendar of Great Holiday Movies: Day 17 "American Psycho"

ed note: This article originally premiered on December 17th, 2018

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a great movie associated with the holiday season. Many will be awesome, some will be extra awesome. Enjoy.

Day 17: “American Psycho”

Opened Doors: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, Day 10, Day 11, Day 12, Day 13, Day 14, Day 15, Day 16

The holiday season feels like a competition. We want to one up our friends and family with better gifts. We want to impress our neighbors with superior outdoor decorations. We want to be the most stylish, and the most recognizable, at our office holiday parties. The competition of the holiday season is not only annoying, it is also dehumanizing. It is not a shock that some of us have fantasies about murder and mayhem on all of those around us when the competition hits a little to close to our own neurosis.

At the Sundance Film festival in 2000 writer director Mary Harron premiered her film adaptation of the novel “American Psycho”. The film was a hit and featured future Oscar winners Jared Leto, Reese Witherspoon, and in a star making role, Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman. “American Psycho” revived interest in author Brett Easton Ellis’s work, and became one of the definitive films of the early 21st century.

Early in the film, Patrick Bateman is at a Christmas party with a fiancé he does not love, work friends he loathes, and massive insecurity about his place in the world. Drugs and alcohol are no help. The banality of 1980’s pop music is helping him get by a little bit, but Bateman needs more. He needs to destroy what feeds his insecurity. At the Christmas party, Bateman convinces Jared Leto’s Paul Allen to have dinner. The dinner is a disaster, and the evening ends with Bateman murdering Allen with a shiny ax while the dulcet tones of Huey Lewis and the News tell us all that it is hip to be square.

The weeks following Christmas find Bateman destroying anyone he sees as artificial. The false commercialism of the holidays have broken the young Wall Street worker. In the end, Bateman’s own artificial nature saves him from any punishment. He is free to wreck havoc on the poor yuppies of Manhattan next Christmas time.

The commercialism of Christmas is dehumanizing. We do not want the latest, expensive, gift, but we must participate. We really do not care about the fashionable holiday getaway, but we still make sure to book the trip. The fanciest business card from one of our office mate drones, who cares? You better damn well believe though that we are going to one up Brad from marketing. If we can not do better this holiday season, we may just go insane. In our insanity it is important to remember that ATM’s do not eat cats.

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. Sometimes we go crazy during the holiday’s we discover something dark from Christmases past. The gang knows this all too well in “A Very Sunny Christmas”.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

The Advent Calendar of Great Holiday Movies: Day 17 "American Psycho"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a great movie associated with the holiday season. Many will be awesome, some will be extra awesome. Enjoy.

Day 17: “American Psycho”

Opened Doors: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, Day 10, Day 11, Day 12, Day 13, Day 14, Day 15, Day 16

The holiday season feels like a competition. We want to one up our friends and family with better gifts. We want to impress our neighbors with superior outdoor decorations. We want to be the most stylish, and the most recognizable, at our office holiday parties. The competition of the holiday season is not only annoying, it is also dehumanizing. It is not a shock that some of us have fantasies about murder and mayhem on all of those around us when the competition hits a little to close to our own neurosis.

At the Sundance Film festival in 2000 writer director Mary Harron premiered her film adaptation of the novel “American Psycho”. The film was a hit and featured future Oscar winners Jared Leto, Reese Witherspoon, and in a star making role, Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman. “American Psycho” revived interest in author Brett Easton Ellis’s work, and became one of the definitive films of the early 21st century.

Early in the film, Patrick Bateman is at a Christmas party with a fiancé he does not love, work friends he loathes, and massive insecurity about his place in the world. Drugs and alcohol are no help. The banality of 1980’s pop music is helping him get by a little bit, but Bateman needs more. He needs to destroy what feeds his insecurity. At the Christmas party, Bateman convinces Jared Leto’s Paul Allen to have dinner. The dinner is a disaster, and the evening ends with Bateman murdering Allen with a shiny ax while the dulcet tones of Huey Lewis and the News tell us all that it is hip to be square.

The weeks following Christmas find Bateman destroying anyone he sees as artificial. The false commercialism of the holidays have broken the young Wall Street worker. In the end, Bateman’s own artificial nature saves him from any punishment. He is free to wreck havoc on the poor yuppies of Manhattan next Christmas time.

The commercialism of Christmas is dehumanizing. We do not want the latest, expensive, gift, but we must participate. We really do not care about the fashionable holiday getaway, but we still make sure to book the trip. The fanciest business card from one of our office mate drones, who cares? You better damn well believe though that we are going to one up Brad from marketing. If we can not do better this holiday season, we may just go insane. In our insanity it is important to remember that ATM’s do not eat cats.

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. Sometimes we go crazy during the holiday’s we discover something dark from Christmases past. The gang knows this all too well in “A Very Sunny Christmas”.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.