We Did Not Need A New "White Man Can't Jump"

Last week I was scrolling through Hulu and saw that the new "White Men Can't Jump" movie was streaming. I decided to watch.

First off, I love the original movie. I have been a fan since I was a kid. I saw it when I was 13 or 14 and have revisited it multiple times a year since then. Woody Harrellson and Wesley Snipes have tremendous chemistry, the story is good enough and the basketball in the movie was real looking and kept my attention. The whole idea that Harrellson couldn't dunk paid off in the end when he finally did. I also liked the double crossing coming from both Snipes and Harrellson. Rosie Perez was amazing in the movie as well. And the other actors who showed up during the pickup games, some former college and professional basketball players, did a wonderful job. The original worked its charm on me and it has never left.

The new one or remake or re imagining or whatever it is, is not very good. At all. I didn't think it was going to be good, but I thought it would be fun. Hell, I hoped it would even give me some kind of nostalgia vibes. None of that happened. This new version was very scattered and not well acted. The only actor I appreciated was Lance Reddick, but he was almost a total ripoff of Denzel Washing in "He Got Game", but was more timid. He also didn’t have a bunch of screen time as well. It bums me out that this was one of his last movies. The leads were not 1/10 on the level of Harrellson or Snipes. Jack Harlow was not very good at all. He was trying, I will give him that, but he doesn't seem to have it as an actor. He happened to be on an episode of "Dave" that I watched the day before, playing himself, and he could barely even pull that off. To make him a former Gonzaga player who was into holistic medicine and a vegan was puzzling. Harrellson was a gambling addict who was a former pro overseas. They never mentioned his food intake or what he was selling. He was all about basketball and Rosie Perez. Harlow did not come close to pulling off what Harrellson did. Oh, and they never mention the fact that he cannot dunk. He just all of the sudden dunks during a tournament they are playing in, and I guess that is supposed to be an homage or something. It fell totally flat for me. Sinqua Walls, in the Snipes role, was kind of dull. He didn’t really do much. His basketball ability was nowhere near Snipes. And I know they did stuff to help Snipes, but at least he tried and succeeded. Walls just kind of sleep walked throughout the movie. He never really got to show range, and when they gave him a chance, it was not great. He was supposed to be some superstar high school player, but none of that helped the story. Also, Snipes was no high school star or anything. He was a streetball legend. That was his deal. He also happened to be a salesman, but basketball was the intrigue. Everyone else in this movie was the opposite of the outside characters in the original.

This new "White Men Can't Jump" lacked all of the charm of the original. The new movie was not very fun, funny or cool to watch. I found myself bored and kind of gazing off in the distance. I didn't really care to see what happened. I didn't like the new direction. I didn't buy the two leads. It was a miss for me, and due to my love for the original, that bummed me out. You can skip this movie. You will not miss a thing. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty Watches "John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum"

I was going to do a thing on “Game of Thrones” today, but I need to save that for Monday. I need to save it because I went to see “John Wick: Chapter 3 Parabellum” with my dad this morning, and I need to talk about it.

I have been a big time fan from the start of this franchise. I’m so much more in on “John Wick” than I am on other series of movies. I’ll take “John Wick” over any “Fast and Furious” movie, I’ll watch it over “Star Wars”, I’d spend my time with it over “Jurassic Park”, I’ll even take it over the “Raid” movies. This is my new favorite franchise in movies. It is so perfect. “John Wick” knows what it is, and they absolutely go for it all the time. “Parabellum” was no different.

This movie picks up exactly where the second movie ended. Wick is on the run in downtown NYC. He has pretty much every assassin in the city after him. He has a multi million dollar bounty for his head. He is no longer safe. And from there on out, for the next 130 minutes, it’s pretty much all action. The fight scenes in this movie are astonishing. I read someone earlier this week call it a “gory ballet”, and they were 100 percent correct. I was taken aback at how well done and brilliant these scenes were. The movie was also filled with them. Sure, there’s a story attached, and they spend a little time telling it. But, for every minute or 2 of dialogue, there’s a 4 or 5 minute action scene that follows. It was exquisite. I have loved how the writers and directors have upped the ante with each movie. They have the budget now to go absolutely wild. It’s awesome.

As far as the acting, it’s perfect for this style movie. Keanu Reeves is Wick, and he barely has to say anything, which is perfect for him. He says a few things here and there, but he’s mostly there to whoop bad guys. Angelica Houston was chewing so much scenery in the best possible way in this movie. She was excellent. Laurence Fishburne knows what kind of movie this is, and he does his role magnificently. Ian McShane and Lance Reddick are dapper and badass. Halle Berry tried a little too hard, taking it a bit too seriously, but her action scenes, and dogs, ruled. Asia Kate Dillon was a menacing villain. I knew she was crushing it when I hoped she would be taken down by Wick at some point in the movie. Mark Dacascos, you may know him as the chairmen from “Iron Chef America”, was a great bad guy, and he was pretty funny. Jason Mantzoukas had one or 2 lines, but they were memorable, and his expressions were wonderful. Even actors in very small roles, be it Jerome Flynn or Said Taghmaoui, did a really campy, really good job.

“Parabellum” is the third of a very, very solid action franchise. I love that these movies come out every other summer because I get so hyped to see them on opening day in late May. This movie rules, and I hope they will continue to keep making them as long as they keep having fun. Go see this movie, it will most likely be the best action movie you will see all summer long. What a great movie. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Much like the character of John Wick, Ty’s true passion is restoring old books.

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SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.