Madison Wisconsin Owes Me an IPhone

I do not feel Welcome in the state capital

My family and I are just returning from a week long trip where we visited the Upper Pennisula of Michigan. It was great. I have written about the wonders of the UP on the site before. That’s also why I didn’t write for a week. I was on vacation.

Well, I'm Back.

On the trip we did make a few over night stops. We have 2 kids, so it’s hard to go the full 10 hours in one day. We did it last year when we visited Gulf Shores, and while it went better than I expected, by hour 10, we were all a bit stir crazy. So, on the way up we stopped in Madison, Wisconsin, and on the way back we stayed at Great Wolf Lodge in the Wisconsin Dells.

Great Wolf was awesome as always. This is one of our favorite places to go as a family. The water park rules, my son can kind of have free rein, my daughter loves the wave pool, my wife loves the slides and lazy river, and I love just about everything about it, but mostly, the snack area. There is so much to do there, and I recommend checking it out if you haven’t.

As far as Madison though, I have a newfound distaste for a town I used to love. Madison is pretty much the halfway point from my home to the UP. It used to be the fect spot to stop for the night. I like college towns, there’s cool restaurants, cool shops and it’s fairly easy to navigate. It was also my idea for us to stay the night there on the way to the UP. I was even more excited when I heard that my oldest brother and his family would be there the same night as us. We decided we would all meet for dinner. And the hotel was great too. There was an indoor water park perfect for our kids and it was right by the highway for easy access to get back on the road to our destination.

We got there last week, got checked in and hit the water park. Everything was going as planned. We finished up at the park, got back to our room, cleaned up and went to meet my brother’s family for dinner. I brought my phone to navigate, but it wasn’t fully charged. So, I plugged it in the car dock and led us to the restaurant. We got to a parking garage, parked the car and headed to the restaurant. I left my phone in the car, the doors were locked and we were in a garage, what could go wrong I thought. We then had dinner, which was great, shouts out to Dotty’s Dumpling in Madison. We then said our goodbyes, said we’d meet up at the house we were staying in the next day, and we headed back to the car.

When we got to the car, I didn’t see my phone. I thought it was weird, but not all that out of the ordinary. Sometimes my wife puts electronics in her glove box or center console. Sometimes I put it in my diaper bag. Sometimes I leave it in my pocket and forget about it. Sometimes it slides under the seats. Really, it could have been any of these things.

After checking all of those, then double checking, we realized that it had been stolen. I was furious. It was made even worse when the parking attendant let us know that the cameras only go up 2 floors. We were on the third. I got even angrier when the other workers, at the pay area, seemed annoyed that we were asking questions. They just told us to fill out a police report, basically telling us it was our fault that our property was stolen.

I went back to the room., pissed off to no end My anger then turned to fear. I wondered what this person, or people, were doing with my phone. What would they do with my info, contacts, pictures, anything on my phone? Lucky for me, my wife is not as hot headed as I am. She told me to take the kids to the room, get them ready for bed, and she would take care of this. She knew I would fly off the handles if I called Verizon and the police.

So, after getting everything ready, and putting the kids to bed, I had cooled off. My wife then showed up to the room, told me she had everything deactivated and showed me a text she sent to whoever took the phone. It was perfect. She also informed me that I would be receiving a new one in a few days in Michigan. I finally was able to relax. I wasn’t going to let this ruin my vacation. I was still pissed off, but everything that could be done was taken care of.

The moral of the story? When it comes to Madison, I’m done. I don’t feel safe there anymore. It’s not worth my time and anxiety to stay there. I don’t like it anymore. Even when we drove by the exit I said, “Screw you Madison”. All the good will that had been built up was gone after one night. One more thing too. The next morning when we got in the car and headed to the UP, my wife and I went to grab our sunglasses. Those were taken as well. They took my wife’s 10 dollar Target glasses, and my prescription sunglasses. What the hell?!

Screw the person or people that stole our things, and screw you too Madison. I’m done with your town, and for now on, when someone asks me about Madison, I’ll have nothing but bad things to say. I’m so disappointed. 

One more thing. Wisconsin football sucks.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The next time someone in Madison sees a car with Missouri plates, and two middle fingers high in the air, Ty is on his way to the UP.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

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SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Music: Day 9 - Christmas Time at My House

ed note: This article was originally published on December 9th, 2015

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday song for every day of Advent. This is the greatest music of the season. Enjoy.

Day 9: "Christmas Time at My House" by Da Yoopers  (ed note: There is no free way to hear this song, this is a video of the lyrics, you can enjoy the holiday musical styling of Da Yoopers with the classic Rusty Chevrolet). 

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight

For the Advent Calendar of Awesome Music I'm picking "Christmas Time at My House" by Da Yoopers. This is a way off the wall choice for some, but not my family and not for the people that live in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Da Yoopers are a bunch of random guys from the UP. As you all know by now, the UP holds a special place in my life and so do Da Yoopers. Just some random dudes got together, one of them knows how to kind of play the accordion, another one knows maybe three chords on guitar and none of them can really sing. But, they know the UP inside out and if you've ever been there or lived there, you can relate. They talk about ice fishing, their love for the Green Bay Packers, Lake Superior and eating venison jerky. They mention all the snow and just downright cold weather that happens in the UP. They do get a bit un PC at times, but it's never hateful or hurtful. It's kind of like a comedian telling a tasteless joke. No harm, no foul.

In keeping up with this countdown, I picked one of their holiday songs to talk about. As I mentioned, it's called "Christmas Time at My House". They talk about everything from video games to lutefisk. The opening lyric mentions Italians at the door, spilling meatballs. Now, in the UP there's either Polish or Italian people. It's a small part of the country, so there's not too much diversity. From this lyric I gather these guys are Polish. Also, if you've ever enjoyed a holiday in the UP, this line is 100 percent true. My father's parents were Polish and my mother's parents were Italian and during the holiday, my mom's parents would come to my dad's parents bearing gifts that included meatballs. They later mention that some uncles are getting into a fight and say, "Christmas is going to be some night". Who among us can't relate to this. There's always one or two family members that have one too many drinks (ed note: not me) and inevitably fight. They later mention the kids being on a sugar high and stealing their uncles dentures and hanging them on a tree like an ornament. I've actually seen this happen in my own life, so I know this is a real thing that actually happens. It's commonplace to me. They also talk about the kids having "visions of the latest video game dancing in their heads". Also 100 percent true. When I was younger I always wanted the newest sports game for the Nintendo 64 or the PlayStation.

The chorus is as follows, "Christmas time, food and wine, family friend and foe. We celebrate his birthday by spending all our dough. Now we are broke and happy, it's a shame Christmas only comes once a year". All of that is very relatable. There's always alcohol, lots of food and you are surrounded by your loved ones, for better or worse. People spend way too much money buying gifts, but everyone seems fairly happy around this time of year. And yes, it is a shame it only comes once a year. Sure, some people hate the holidays, but me, and the majority of my family, have a great time during the holidays. It's a lot of fun.

After the chorus, in the third verse, they bring in the not so PC talk when saying that "the mother in law is dancing with bloomers on her head after drinking all the Dago red". Now, this may be an actual wine, I don't know because I don't drink, but why not call it Italian wine? I'll tell you why. This is exactly what my Polish grandpa called Italian wine. He'd never just call it by its name, it was always "Dago red". I'm not saying it's excusable, it's just the way it is in the UP. They also mention that the priest is at the house playing the organ, but he's drunk too speak the words. Yep, priests go over to your house in the UP, get all liquored up and are so drunk by the end of the night, they literally can't speak. It's all very, very true.

The final verse had them talking about a drunk uncle, dressed as Santa Claus, "digging in his sack", I think we all know what they're talking about here. He's also showing butt crack that the kids are sticking nickels down. And, to close out the night, he passes out and destroys the tree.

Reading this you may say, that's not me and my family, we aren't this low class, but you'd be wrong. Everyone can relate to some point of this song. This song is universal. We all experience one or more of these things during the holiday. And for those of you from the UP, you know this tune is 100 percent true. I'm sure it hits very close to home. Basically, I love "Christmas Time at My House". I don't like much holiday music, but this song, and any song by Da Yoopers for that matter, is classic. Go check this song out if you haven't heard it and I guarantee you'll love it.

Happy holidays.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man. What he lacks in wine knowledge he makes up in college football awareness. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.