Beware the Bullying Nerds of Twitter

The Star Wars dog is trying to explain his views to the sports dog

I was scrolling through my Twitter feed yesterday, as I'm want to do, and I came across a tweet from Doug Benson that made me very upset. Now, first of all, I'm a humongous Doug Benson fan. I've seen him do standup multiple times. I've gone and watched him do a live podcast. He, in fact, introduced me to the world of podcasts and as many of you know, I'm an enormous fan of many podcasts. I own all of his comedy albums. I've spent a lot of my personal time and money on Doug Benson stuff. But, this particular tweet from yesterday just rubbed me the wrong way and I can't shake it.

In his tweet Doug Benson said, "if your Twitter avatar is of something involving sports, I don't care what you have to say about Star Wars". So, first of all, he's entitled to his own opinion, I get that, but, why does he feel he still needs to attack people that play and/or watch sports? I wonder if he was bullied as a young kid by a jock, but why does he have to lump every other sports fan in with this one particular asshole? Yes, I've played and watched sports my entire life, but I have never once bullied or picked on someone for not playing sports, or for liking Star Wars. And, furthermore, I've known many more "jocks" that have many other outside interests than just sports, Star Wars being one of the main ones. I'm sorry for this one or maybe two jackasses that teased you, but don't lump the rest of the people that like sports in with these people. It's not fair to pigeonhole every "jock" as bullies and jerks. That's a very, very small number of douchebags. Anyone that picks on someone else is clearly insecure and has deeper issues.

But, I'd like to ask Doug Benson personally, do you not care for or like Mike Schur(co creator of the American "Office", "Parks and Rec" and "Brooklyn 99") because he has a baseball player as his avatar? Do you not like Nick Swardson since he's a huge Minnesota Vikings fan and just a fan of football in general? Do you not care for Brody Stevens since he played and still watches a ton of baseball? Do you not get along with Joe Mande or Hannibal Buress because they are both huge NBA fans? And what about your personal driver and opening act, Graham Elwood? Do you not care about his opinion since he's a big time football fan? I'm sure there's dozens of other contemporaries of yours that like sports a lot that you're alienating with this one tweet.

It's also pretty sad that a tweet can dredge up this much anger, but that's the world we live in with all the social media nowadays. Also, you may need to think about growing up and getting over this particular bully. First of all, you are a 50 year old. This person that picked on you did it over 35 years ago, I'm sure they've forgotten about it, so maybe you should too. Also, you are 50, like I just said, and you ask young girls on Twitter to send you side boob pictures and pictures of them in their BB-8 underwear. GROW UP! You are old enough to be a grandparent. Stop asking girls that could be your daughter to send you pictures via Twitter. Maybe, you should lay off the weed too. If I've said it once, I'll say it much more during this blog, YOU'RE 50! GROW UP! I know that weed is your whole "image", but you have to stop doing it sometime. I'm worried for you and I don't even know you personally. I'm scared you're going to drop dead from undetected cancer or something else and I don't want you to die because I really enjoy your comedy. Also, stop throwing donuts at the crowd during your shows. Stuff like this is why foreigners hate America. We act so privileged and just throw food in a vast arena. It's wasteful and gross. Just stop it.

I'm sure you won't read this or, if you do, you'll block me on Twitter, but so be it. I'm a "jock" that has never bullied anyone and your tweet really offended me. I have many other outside interests including comedy, music and movies, but you wouldn't care to know that since I like sports. You've now become the bully. You are doing exactly what this person did to you over 35 years ago, but instead of just picking on or alienating one person, you're doing it to hundreds of thousands of people. I'll still listen to your comedy and your podcast, but not with the usual giddiness because I know you will judge me without getting to know me since my Twitter avatar is of me in my basketball gear. You won't even give me a chance and that's the real shame. I'm sorry that I like sports, but I will never lose my love for sports no matter how much you bully the sports loving community.

Another person that's guilty of judging books by their cover in the alternative comedy world is Chris Hardwick. He has a vendetta out for hipsters. As you all know by now, I don't particularly care for hipsters with beards, but Chris Hardwick must be ignorant to how much of a hipster he truly is. He is the biggest hipster in all of comedy. Just go back and look at that shiny silver suit, with the extremely skinny tie you wore during your last standup special. Go back even further and look at the way too short, way too tight t shirts you wore when you hosted "Web Soup". And now that "nerd culture" is the hip thing, you are the leader of the biggest hipster uprising in the history. I don't care that you can name Pi to the 100th degree and I definitely don't want to watch you saying all the digits on "The Meltdown", that's just bad TV. You may also be the biggest whore in all of television. The last thing I want to watch after "The Walking Dead" or "Breaking Bad" is you and your hipster friends discussing the episode that we just watched. I also don't need to see you handing out points to your comedian friends on your ripoff gameshow "At Midnight". That show is a complete waste of time.

Chris Hardwick and Doug Benson have become the people that they hated in high school. Sure, you guys were nerdy and into things like comedy and movies when you were younger and some douchebags thought that it was okay to pick on you, but now, you've turned into the bullies. You guys have a platform where thousands of people listen to you and instead of using it for good, you're using it for revenge. That's a pity. I thought you'd both be bigger than that, but I guess you guys aren't above the same bullies you detested in school. That sucks. As I said before, I'm sure you guys won't even glance at this, or if you do, you'll just ignore or block me, but, I felt that this needed to be said. Not everyone that likes or plays sports is a bully. Quite the opposite in fact, most of us are nice people and if you took the time to get to know us, you'd realize that. But, you'd rather just go on Twitter and bash us without giving us a chance.

You guys are the true bullies.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man. The only numbers of Pi he knows is how many slices in a whole one. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.