SeedSing Classic: Please Leave Me out of Your Cool Beard Club

Behold hairy magnificence 

SeedSing classic is a look back at our most influential articles. These pieces have been presented in their original form. No Star Warsesque special editions. This article was originally posted on October 1st, 2015. Also, Ty still has a beard. Enjoy

I've been writing about sports, music , TV and movies a lot lately.

Today, I'm going to go way off topic and talk about beards. I have a beard, but I'm not happy with the way I'm treated because I have a beard.

Now, I'm not treated poorly or differently from people without beards but, when I see another person with a beard they always seem to want to talk to me. I don't even know these people, but they feel a connection to me because we both have beards. Minus the facial hair, I'm sure we have nothing in common. These guys who share the same facial hair choice with me seem to be really into grooming their beards. They have them shaved in certain, "fashionable" ways or they have them combed in a specific way, or they have it in almost a hairdo type of way. Me, I have a "I'm too lazy to shave" type of way. I know that it's hip and cool to have a beard now. It's the new fashion trend for men. Much like the skinny jean or the glasses with no lenses, beards are having their day. The problem I have is the hipsters that groom these beards. You see guys out there with their handlebar mustaches that now have an equally groomed beard. This sickens me. Or, guys who have faux hawks and have a beard. How much more of a douchebag can you be. I'm a big Bryce Harper fan, but he looks like the definition of a douchebag frat boy with his hairdo and beard. There's also the guys with the "gruff" beard. This is done purposefully by these people. Just like shaggy hair was a thing in high school, having a "gruff"(I put it in quotes because these guys chose this look, they're doing it on purpose) beard is in. I believe the term thrown around is a "lumberjack beard". Do you know why lumberjack's have beards? It's not a fashion statement, these guys work in the absolute freezing cold, so a beard is just another layer of warmth for them. They don't do it to be fashionable, they do it to stay warm.

Now, I've had a beard for about 4 years straight. I shaved it completely off once because I lost 100 pounds and I wanted to see what my face looked like, but for most of my sons life, he's three and a half, I've had a full beard. I don't know why I started to grow it when I did. I guess it was because I started to lose my hair. I started going bald about eight years ago, but I was fully bald about five years ago. So, I guess I wanted to have hair somewhere on my face, so I chose a beard. When I started to grow it, I had bald patches right by my cheeks, so it took awhile for a full, big beard to grow. I didn't grow it big for fashion reasons, I grew it big so it looked full. It was around this same time that I noticed beards popping up almost everywhere. I'd go to the grocery store or the movies or even the mall, and about fifty percent of men had beards. No one was really doing anything fashionable at this time though. I was also given my first business card from a stranger promoting his beard grooming barber shop. This was when I started to become disillusioned with beards because I knew that something douchey and hipstery was coming.

And boy did it come with a huge explosion. I'd say the number jumped to about seventy five percent of men with beards (numbers are not exact). Still, I wasn't going to shave. Personally, I like having a beard because I feel that my face looks young without it. I like looking older. About nine months ago I had a normal sized beard, not too big, not too small. My wife told me she was pregnant with our second child and after an embrace, lots of hugs and kisses, I told her I wasn't going to shave until the baby was born. We are now six days away from the birth of my daughter. My beard is humongous(see above picture). I'm excited to get it trimmed after the baby is born because it is getting tangled and it's hard to clean thoroughly in the shower, basically it's more a hassle than anything else. Like I said, I'm going to keep my beard, but it doesn't need to be this huge.

The next thing I'm going to tell you almost made me shave my beard off last week. I was at Target with my wife and son and my parents. We were going through the check out aisle and another gentleman, a very nice guy in fact, came up to me with a business card, that's two for those of you counting out there, and it simply read, "Sweet Beard". This was all I saw at first, and even though this guy was very nice, I was angry. I was sick and tired of guys slapping me five or talking to me about grooming beards or casually telling me "nice beard" from a distance. I was fed up and I didn't want this card. I looked at him with a grimace on my face and quietly and angrily said "Thanks". I think he sensed my anger and softly told me, "my shop for beard grooming is on the back if you want to come by and get a trim". As I said, he was very nice and there was no need for me to be so mad. But then I looked at his beard and became even more upset. He had a HUGE beard, perfectly groomed. I wanted to scream at him, "I DIDN'T DO THIS FOR FASHION REASONS, I"M JUST LAZY!" I didn't do that because I'm a human being and I understand that I shouldn't act like a crazed lunatic to someone that's being nice to me (I have the internet as a place to act like a crazed lunatic).

But this brings me to the most important thing in my piece. I just cracked why I choose to have a beard. It was simple and has been staring me in the face for four years now. I'm lazy. I don't like to shave and the clean up afterward is too much. I don't like keeping my trimmers charged and I'm not going to use a straight razor because they burn my face. See, I found multiple reasons why I won't, but someone will read this and think that all that stuff is easy to do. But like I just said, I'm lazy. I'm not fashionable by any means necessary, and I didn't grow this beard to be "cool", I did it because I'm lazy.

It's as simple as that.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. This article may be a little dated, but that beard is still present in it's magnificent glory.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Please Leave Me out of Your Cool Beard Club

Behold hairy magnificence 

SeedSing classic is a look back at our most influential articles. These pieces have been presented in their original form. No Star Warsesque special editions. Enjoy

I've been writing about sports, music , TV and movies a lot lately.

Today, I'm going to go way off topic and talk about beards. I have a beard, but I'm not happy with the way I'm treated because I have a beard.

Now, I'm not treated poorly or differently from people without beards but, when I see another person with a beard they always seem to want to talk to me. I don't even know these people, but they feel a connection to me because we both have beards. Minus the facial hair, I'm sure we have nothing in common. These guys who share the same facial hair choice with me seem to be really into grooming their beards. They have them shaved in certain, "fashionable" ways or they have them combed in a specific way, or they have it in almost a hairdo type of way. Me, I have a "I'm too lazy to shave" type of way. I know that it's hip and cool to have a beard now. It's the new fashion trend for men. Much like the skinny jean or the glasses with no lenses, beards are having their day. The problem I have is the hipsters that groom these beards. You see guys out there with their handlebar mustaches that now have an equally groomed beard. This sickens me. Or, guys who have faux hawks and have a beard. How much more of a douchebag can you be. I'm a big Bryce Harper fan, but he looks like the definition of a douchebag frat boy with his hairdo and beard. There's also the guys with the "gruff" beard. This is done purposefully by these people. Just like shaggy hair was a thing in high school, having a "gruff"(I put it in quotes because these guys chose this look, they're doing it on purpose) beard is in. I believe the term thrown around is a "lumberjack beard". Do you know why lumberjack's have beards? It's not a fashion statement, these guys work in the absolute freezing cold, so a beard is just another layer of warmth for them. They don't do it to be fashionable, they do it to stay warm.

Now, I've had a beard for about 4 years straight. I shaved it completely off once because I lost 100 pounds and I wanted to see what my face looked like, but for most of my sons life, he's three and a half, I've had a full beard. I don't know why I started to grow it when I did. I guess it was because I started to lose my hair. I started going bald about eight years ago, but I was fully bald about five years ago. So, I guess I wanted to have hair somewhere on my face, so I chose a beard. When I started to grow it, I had bald patches right by my cheeks, so it took awhile for a full, big beard to grow. I didn't grow it big for fashion reasons, I grew it big so it looked full. It was around this same time that I noticed beards popping up almost everywhere. I'd go to the grocery store or the movies or even the mall, and about fifty percent of men had beards. No one was really doing anything fashionable at this time though. I was also given my first business card from a stranger promoting his beard grooming barber shop. This was when I started to become disillusioned with beards because I knew that something douchey and hipstery was coming.

And boy did it come with a huge explosion. I'd say the number jumped to about seventy five percent of men with beards (numbers are not exact). Still, I wasn't going to shave. Personally, I like having a beard because I feel that my face looks young without it. I like looking older. About nine months ago I had a normal sized beard, not too big, not too small. My wife told me she was pregnant with our second child and after an embrace, lots of hugs and kisses, I told her I wasn't going to shave until the baby was born. We are now six days away from the birth of my daughter. My beard is humongous(see above picture). I'm excited to get it trimmed after the baby is born because it is getting tangled and it's hard to clean thoroughly in the shower, basically it's more a hassle than anything else. Like I said, I'm going to keep my beard, but it doesn't need to be this huge.

The next thing I'm going to tell you almost made me shave my beard off last week. I was at Target with my wife and son and my parents. We were going through the check out aisle and another gentleman, a very nice guy in fact, came up to me with a business card, that's two for those of you counting out there, and it simply read, "Sweet Beard". This was all I saw at first, and even though this guy was very nice, I was angry. I was sick and tired of guys slapping me five or talking to me about grooming beards or casually telling me "nice beard" from a distance. I was fed up and I didn't want this card. I looked at him with a grimace on my face and quietly and angrily said "Thanks". I think he sensed my anger and softly told me, "my shop for beard grooming is on the back if you want to come by and get a trim". As I said, he was very nice and there was no need for me to be so mad. But then I looked at his beard and became even more upset. He had a HUGE beard, perfectly groomed. I wanted to scream at him, "I DIDN'T DO THIS FOR FASHION REASONS, I"M JUST LAZY!" I didn't do that because I'm a human being and I understand that I shouldn't act like a crazed lunatic to someone that's being nice to me (I have the internet as a place to act like a crazed lunatic).

But this brings me to the most important thing in my piece. I just cracked why I choose to have a beard. It was simple and has been staring me in the face for four years now. I'm lazy. I don't like to shave and the clean up afterward is too much. I don't like keeping my trimmers charged and I'm not going to use a straight razor because they burn my face. See, I found multiple reasons why I won't, but someone will read this and think that all that stuff is easy to do. But like I just said, I'm lazy. I'm not fashionable by any means necessary, and I didn't grow this beard to be "cool", I did it because I'm lazy.

It's as simple as that.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. This article may be a little dated, but that beard is still present in it's magnificent glory.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

"A Moon Shaped Pool" is Further Proof that Radiohead is the Best Band in the World

Make your ears, heart, and mind happy with some good music

News alert, Radiohead released a new album yesterday. I bought it, but I waited until today to listen to it, and it is incredible, just like everything else Radiohead does. The record, "A Moon Shaped Pool" shows the growth and the same experimentation that the band has done since they busted out on the scene in the 90's. The record has rock, ethereal music, slow songs, touching songs, basically, it has everything we expect and love from Radiohead.

I know that there are other guys in the band, but Radiohead is really all about Thom Yorke and Johnny Greenwood. They are the two geniuses behind this wonderful band. Yorke is the eccentric, yet super talented front man that does a little bit of everything. Greenwood is the genius that writes and sonically puts all the music together. "A Moon Shaped Pool" has their separate genius on full display. Yoke croons and masterfully sings his way through the entire 11 song album. Greenwood's touch and elegance is all over the place in the music. Johnny Greenwood may be the greatest and most interesting person currently working in music. He is a true genius. You have to look no further than the second track on the album, "Daydreaming", to hear and realize how awesome Greenwood is. The song reminds me a lot of the slower stuff that was on "Kid A", but this song sounds a bit more grown up and put together with a purpose. I love the slower, weirder stuff on "Kid A", but it seems slapdash and spackled together. It's weird for the sake of weird. But on "Daydreaming", the weirdness and the etherealness has a real place in the song. It's structured and so well put together. The song has a base, verse, chorus, verse, but Greenwood has his trademark sound, and it is incredible.

The rest of the album is just as good. The opener, "Burn the Witch", is what a band like U2 strives to sound like, but they can't get there. Radiohead out does U2 on a song that sounds like U2. It's a great way to start out the new album. Yorke sings the hell out of it and the band sounds great. The third track, "Decks Dark" is currently my favorite song. It has acoustic guitar at the beginning, with slower singing, and it builds and only gets a lot better from there. Yorke absolutely crushes this song. It sounds like something off "The Bends", but it is better. They have some longer songs, a la stuff on "Kid A" or "OK Computer", like "Ful Stop", "The Numbers" and "Present Tense" that are great as well. As I've said, they sound grown up and mature on this record. You can tell they worked very, very hard on this record. These three songs are really good too. Sometimes slower, more musically charged Radiohead songs can feel a bit like a chore, but not on this record. They all fit in perfectly and they are perfectly placed on the record. They are all in the exact right spot. One of these will follow a faster or sweeter song and it's excellent placement. The last two tracks on the album are dynamite. Track 10, "Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief" has an incredibly long title and it is an incredibly awesome song. Yorke, once again, sings perfectly. He has that lower, almost scary type voice that gets louder and nicer as the tune goes on. The music accompanying him is just as good. There's great guitar, drums, bass and whatever the hell else Radiohead wants to do because they are the best. The song builds and builds and it is quite fantastic. The closer, "True Loves Waits" is absolutely beautiful and kind of sad. Yorke croons and moans and wails his way through the song and it is magical. His voice portrays love, hurt and pain so well. You can sympathize with him so easily. He makes you feel his hurt and his pain and we all can relate. The music is quiet, but just as important as Yorke's vocals. It is all so perfectly made and perfectly recorded by the perfect band.

Obviously, I love this record and I love this band. We all knew that something was coming when Radiohead went off all of social media one day before the announcement of the record, and I couldn't be happier with the outcome of their one day hiatus from social media. Radiohead can do no wrong, in my opinion. They are, and always will be, the perfect band. They are timeless. They make some of the best music that have ever been written and released. They are geniuses. And they know exactly how to market and promote themselves in the new digital age. They were one of the first, if not the first, band that let people decide what they wanted to pay for a record when they released "In Rainbows", and now, they can release a record on a Saturday, on Mother's Day, and it will be the talk of the internet for the next 7 days. They are awesome.

To all the people, the hipsters that is, complaining that Radiohead is "overrated" or "need to stop making music" or "old", shut up. This band is the best and we should be lucky that they are still creating some of the best music ever for us to listen to. The hipsters complaining about Radiohead are the same assholes that wear skinny jeans, collect vinyl, wax their mustaches and work in coffee houses that only do slow drip or French press coffee. These hipsters are the problem and they are the main ones complaining about a new Radiohead album. Get over yourself and start dressing more normal and stop judging me because I'm an unabashed fan of Radiohead. I will buy all their records, no matter how many they release and I'm sure I will love them all. These are the same people that still badmouth "The Simpsons" and complain about not having enough room to ride their unicycles because of people driving their cars. So, don't listen to the hipsters, listen to me and buy this new Radiohead album, it is awesome.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He may have a big bushy beard, but he is no hipster. Make sure you follow all of Ty's non-hipster thoughts on twitter @tykulik.

SeedSing's 10 Most Popular Posts of 2015

Follow me to great writing

SeedSing was born into existence in May of 2015. The idea behind the website was to bring a common voice to the politics and pop culture of our society. We started with the goal to post 3-5 articles a week and hoped to get around 100 unique visitors in each week. We are grateful that the websites traffic has grown beyond those numbers and are looking forward to all the new readers, and contributors, 2016. Today we present the 10 most read articles on SeedSing for 2015.

10. Thank You for Inhaling: Money, Freedom, and the Legalization of Marijuana  The movement to legalize Marijuana made its way to Ohio in 2015. Head editor RD Kulik takes  a look at the reasons for the sudden acceptance, and failure, of marijuana legalization.

9. We Must Halt the Dumbening of our Society  When Tina S contributes to SeedSing, it is always brings the intelligent discourse up a few notches. As someone who respects science, and facts in general, Tina is appalled that we  embrace and celebrate stupidity in our culture. This needs to end.

8.  The Greatest American Band Debate: The Introduction  SeedSing is filled with music lovers. In July Ty decided we should argue about who is the greatest American Band ever. With this introduction the debate was set, and many bands have been nominated since, with more to come.

7. Marty Will Be Here Soon. Do We Have All the Tech He Needs?  Kirk Aug wanted to kick off the celebration for Marty and Doc's arrival to 2015 by wondering how far we have come in inventing all the tech from Back to the Future II. We have come a long way, and even surpassed, many of the films predictions. Still no time travel.

6.The Ohio Problem  One of the very first posts on SeedSing discussed how the national political parties are leaving the cupboard bare for the local politicians. With the 2016 Presidential campaigns kicking into high gear the Ohio Problem will rear it's ugly head once again. Something must be done.

5. Our Future Source for Meat Will Not be the Animals  One of SeedSing's most recent posts quickly has become one of our most read. Kirk Aug looks at the present, and future, of lab grown meat. On top of the nutritional value, what will be the moral value of meat from the lab?

4. What is Real Food?  The debate of genetically modified organisms and how we label food intensified in 2015. Kirk takes a look at the science, and law, surrounding gmo's. Does the place your food was created really matter to the value of your meal?

3. In an Era of Bad Sports Announcers, Cris Collinsworth is the Worst  Early in the 2015 NFL season Ty decided to blow off some steam and label NBC sports personality Cris Collinsworth as the worst announcer in America. The public seemed to agree. Every Sunday night, SeedSing has seen a spike in readership based solely on Ty's piece. Maybe Cris Collinsworth really is the worst of a bad lot.

2. #ILookLikeAnEnginner Needs to have Meaning  Over the summer the twitter campaign #ILookLikeAnEnginner became a big news story. Tina S, a real engineer, was concerned with how this campaign was distorted the world of engineering. Many people agreed with Tina, and her post was shared on a variety of sites across the internet.

1. Please Leave Me Out of Your Cool Beard Club Ty decided to write a small rant about the rise of "cool beard guy" and why he did not care  for their club like mentality. What was supposed to be a small, humorous, post quickly turned  into the most popular piece ever on SeedSing. Dudes with beards seem to be very protective,  and sensitive, about how others view their facial hair lifestyle. If they are not careful, Ty may  just have a few words to say about their jeans and glasses.

Thanks to everyone for your support in reading SeedSing during 2015. We look forward to bringing more intelligent, humorous, and thought provoking pieces in 2016. We are the only place on the internet where you can read about the future of food, the current structural problems in politics, and the annoyance of the "cool beard guy". What more could you want?

RD Kulik (and the contributors to SeedSing)

RD is the creator and Head Editor for SeedSing. You can make the most read list of 2016 by writing for us.

Beware the Bullying Nerds of Twitter

The Star Wars dog is trying to explain his views to the sports dog

I was scrolling through my Twitter feed yesterday, as I'm want to do, and I came across a tweet from Doug Benson that made me very upset. Now, first of all, I'm a humongous Doug Benson fan. I've seen him do standup multiple times. I've gone and watched him do a live podcast. He, in fact, introduced me to the world of podcasts and as many of you know, I'm an enormous fan of many podcasts. I own all of his comedy albums. I've spent a lot of my personal time and money on Doug Benson stuff. But, this particular tweet from yesterday just rubbed me the wrong way and I can't shake it.

In his tweet Doug Benson said, "if your Twitter avatar is of something involving sports, I don't care what you have to say about Star Wars". So, first of all, he's entitled to his own opinion, I get that, but, why does he feel he still needs to attack people that play and/or watch sports? I wonder if he was bullied as a young kid by a jock, but why does he have to lump every other sports fan in with this one particular asshole? Yes, I've played and watched sports my entire life, but I have never once bullied or picked on someone for not playing sports, or for liking Star Wars. And, furthermore, I've known many more "jocks" that have many other outside interests than just sports, Star Wars being one of the main ones. I'm sorry for this one or maybe two jackasses that teased you, but don't lump the rest of the people that like sports in with these people. It's not fair to pigeonhole every "jock" as bullies and jerks. That's a very, very small number of douchebags. Anyone that picks on someone else is clearly insecure and has deeper issues.

But, I'd like to ask Doug Benson personally, do you not care for or like Mike Schur(co creator of the American "Office", "Parks and Rec" and "Brooklyn 99") because he has a baseball player as his avatar? Do you not like Nick Swardson since he's a huge Minnesota Vikings fan and just a fan of football in general? Do you not care for Brody Stevens since he played and still watches a ton of baseball? Do you not get along with Joe Mande or Hannibal Buress because they are both huge NBA fans? And what about your personal driver and opening act, Graham Elwood? Do you not care about his opinion since he's a big time football fan? I'm sure there's dozens of other contemporaries of yours that like sports a lot that you're alienating with this one tweet.

It's also pretty sad that a tweet can dredge up this much anger, but that's the world we live in with all the social media nowadays. Also, you may need to think about growing up and getting over this particular bully. First of all, you are a 50 year old. This person that picked on you did it over 35 years ago, I'm sure they've forgotten about it, so maybe you should too. Also, you are 50, like I just said, and you ask young girls on Twitter to send you side boob pictures and pictures of them in their BB-8 underwear. GROW UP! You are old enough to be a grandparent. Stop asking girls that could be your daughter to send you pictures via Twitter. Maybe, you should lay off the weed too. If I've said it once, I'll say it much more during this blog, YOU'RE 50! GROW UP! I know that weed is your whole "image", but you have to stop doing it sometime. I'm worried for you and I don't even know you personally. I'm scared you're going to drop dead from undetected cancer or something else and I don't want you to die because I really enjoy your comedy. Also, stop throwing donuts at the crowd during your shows. Stuff like this is why foreigners hate America. We act so privileged and just throw food in a vast arena. It's wasteful and gross. Just stop it.

I'm sure you won't read this or, if you do, you'll block me on Twitter, but so be it. I'm a "jock" that has never bullied anyone and your tweet really offended me. I have many other outside interests including comedy, music and movies, but you wouldn't care to know that since I like sports. You've now become the bully. You are doing exactly what this person did to you over 35 years ago, but instead of just picking on or alienating one person, you're doing it to hundreds of thousands of people. I'll still listen to your comedy and your podcast, but not with the usual giddiness because I know you will judge me without getting to know me since my Twitter avatar is of me in my basketball gear. You won't even give me a chance and that's the real shame. I'm sorry that I like sports, but I will never lose my love for sports no matter how much you bully the sports loving community.

Another person that's guilty of judging books by their cover in the alternative comedy world is Chris Hardwick. He has a vendetta out for hipsters. As you all know by now, I don't particularly care for hipsters with beards, but Chris Hardwick must be ignorant to how much of a hipster he truly is. He is the biggest hipster in all of comedy. Just go back and look at that shiny silver suit, with the extremely skinny tie you wore during your last standup special. Go back even further and look at the way too short, way too tight t shirts you wore when you hosted "Web Soup". And now that "nerd culture" is the hip thing, you are the leader of the biggest hipster uprising in the history. I don't care that you can name Pi to the 100th degree and I definitely don't want to watch you saying all the digits on "The Meltdown", that's just bad TV. You may also be the biggest whore in all of television. The last thing I want to watch after "The Walking Dead" or "Breaking Bad" is you and your hipster friends discussing the episode that we just watched. I also don't need to see you handing out points to your comedian friends on your ripoff gameshow "At Midnight". That show is a complete waste of time.

Chris Hardwick and Doug Benson have become the people that they hated in high school. Sure, you guys were nerdy and into things like comedy and movies when you were younger and some douchebags thought that it was okay to pick on you, but now, you've turned into the bullies. You guys have a platform where thousands of people listen to you and instead of using it for good, you're using it for revenge. That's a pity. I thought you'd both be bigger than that, but I guess you guys aren't above the same bullies you detested in school. That sucks. As I said before, I'm sure you guys won't even glance at this, or if you do, you'll just ignore or block me, but, I felt that this needed to be said. Not everyone that likes or plays sports is a bully. Quite the opposite in fact, most of us are nice people and if you took the time to get to know us, you'd realize that. But, you'd rather just go on Twitter and bash us without giving us a chance.

You guys are the true bullies.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man. The only numbers of Pi he knows is how many slices in a whole one. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Please Leave Me out of Your Cool Beard Club

Behold hairy magnificence 

I've been writing about sports, music , TV and movies a lot lately.

Today, I'm going to go way off topic and talk about beards. I have a beard, but I'm not happy with the way I'm treated because I have a beard.

Now, I'm not treated poorly or differently from people without beards but, when I see another person with a beard they always seem to want to talk to me. I don't even know these people, but they feel a connection to me because we both have beards. Minus the facial hair, I'm sure we have nothing in common. These guys who share the same facial hair choice with me seem to be really into grooming their beards. They have them shaved in certain, "fashionable" ways or they have them combed in a specific way, or they have it in almost a hairdo type of way. Me, I have a "I'm too lazy to shave" type of way. I know that it's hip and cool to have a beard now. It's the new fashion trend for men. Much like the skinny jean or the glasses with no lenses, beards are having their day. The problem I have is the hipsters that groom these beards. You see guys out there with their handlebar mustaches that now have an equally groomed beard. This sickens me. Or, guys who have faux hawks and have a beard. How much more of a douchebag can you be. I'm a big Bryce Harper fan, but he looks like the definition of a douchebag frat boy with his hairdo and beard. There's also the guys with the "gruff" beard. This is done purposefully by these people. Just like shaggy hair was a thing in high school, having a "gruff"(I put it in quotes because these guys chose this look, they're doing it on purpose) beard is in. I believe the term thrown around is a "lumberjack beard". Do you know why lumberjack's have beards? It's not a fashion statement, these guys work in the absolute freezing cold, so a beard is just another layer of warmth for them. They don't do it to be fashionable, they do it to stay warm.

Now, I've had a beard for about 4 years straight. I shaved it completely off once because I lost 100 pounds and I wanted to see what my face looked like, but for most of my sons life, he's three and a half, I've had a full beard. I don't know why I started to grow it when I did. I guess it was because I started to lose my hair. I started going bald about eight years ago, but I was fully bald about five years ago. So, I guess I wanted to have hair somewhere on my face, so I chose a beard. When I started to grow it, I had bald patches right by my cheeks, so it took awhile for a full, big beard to grow. I didn't grow it big for fashion reasons, I grew it big so it looked full. It was around this same time that I noticed beards popping up almost everywhere. I'd go to the grocery store or the movies or even the mall, and about fifty percent of men had beards. No one was really doing anything fashionable at this time though. I was also given my first business card from a stranger promoting his beard grooming barber shop. This was when I started to become disillusioned with beards because I knew that something douchey and hipstery was coming.

And boy did it come with a huge explosion. I'd say the number jumped to about seventy five percent of men with beards (numbers are not exact). Still, I wasn't going to shave. Personally, I like having a beard because I feel that my face looks young without it. I like looking older. About nine months ago I had a normal sized beard, not too big, not too small. My wife told me she was pregnant with our second child and after an embrace, lots of hugs and kisses, I told her I wasn't going to shave until the baby was born. We are now six days away from the birth of my daughter. My beard is humongous(see above picture). I'm excited to get it trimmed after the baby is born because it is getting tangled and it's hard to clean thoroughly in the shower, basically it's more a hassle than anything else. Like I said, I'm going to keep my beard, but it doesn't need to be this huge.

The next thing I'm going to tell you almost made me shave my beard off last week. I was at Target with my wife and son and my parents. We were going through the check out aisle and another gentleman, a very nice guy in fact, came up to me with a business card, that's two for those of you counting out there, and it simply read, "Sweet Beard". This was all I saw at first, and even though this guy was very nice, I was angry. I was sick and tired of guys slapping me five or talking to me about grooming beards or casually telling me "nice beard" from a distance. I was fed up and I didn't want this card. I looked at him with a grimace on my face and quietly and angrily said "Thanks". I think he sensed my anger and softly told me, "my shop for beard grooming is on the back if you want to come by and get a trim". As I said, he was very nice and there was no need for me to be so mad. But then I looked at his beard and became even more upset. He had a HUGE beard, perfectly groomed. I wanted to scream at him, "I DIDN'T DO THIS FOR FASHION REASONS, I"M JUST LAZY!" I didn't do that because I'm a human being and I understand that I shouldn't act like a crazed lunatic to someone that's being nice to me (I have the internet as a place to act like a crazed lunatic).

But this brings me to the most important thing in my piece. I just cracked why I choose to have a beard. It was simple and has been staring me in the face for four years now. I'm lazy. I don't like to shave and the clean up afterward is too much. I don't like keeping my trimmers charged and I'm not going to use a straight razor because they burn my face. See, I found multiple reasons why I won't, but someone will read this and think that all that stuff is easy to do. But like I just said, I'm lazy. I'm not fashionable by any means necessary, and I didn't grow this beard to be "cool", I did it because I'm lazy.

It's as simple as that.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man podcast. His beard is the reason we hear Ty and do not see him. Wish him good luck with the new kid by following Ty on twitter @tykulik.