Ty Ranks the 2017 NFL Teams: The "Revenge of the Sith" Edition

On to day 3 of my 2017 NFL countdown. We are still talking about some miserable teams, but it is getting better. In fact, none of the teams I talk about this week will be playoff teams, unless they have incredibly magical seasons, but I promise, next week, we will get to the good teams. You've got to suffer through the worst to get to the best. Enough preamble, lets get to it.

At number 24 I have the Los Angeles Chargers. Again, I almost wrote San Diego. The fact that LA has 2 pro football, basketball and a million baseball teams is just crazy to me. But, that's commerce for you I suppose. Anyway, some people seem to think that the Chargers will be a sleeper this year. That is nuts to me. I do not know what these "experts" see that I don't see. I think the Chargers would play way over their heads if they won 7 games this year. First off, they still have Phillip Rivers as their QB. How long does his career have to go before we see him as the player he truly is, which is average. Rivers has never struck me as a QB that you can build around. He is fine. He goes for 4,000 yards a year and 25 to 30 touchdowns, but what has he done to earn his "big time" status? Why is he talked about as one of the top QB's? I don't see it. The Chargers do have a few decent skill players. I like Melvin Gordon. He really rebounded after a tough rookie year and was great last year. He looks like the guy that the Chargers should build around, not Phillip Rivers. Antonio Gates is still there, and he is still consistent. He is getting old though. Keenan Allen is back, and he is a good receiver, but he can never stay healthy. He has been more injured than healthy his whole career. Their first round pick, Mike Williams, is also already hurt. As far as their O-Line, they are okay. Not great, but not bad. The defense seems to be the reason that the "experts" think they will be better, but I still don't see it. Yes, Joey Bosa is good, but he is no JJ Watt or Gerald McCoy or really any of the other top tier pass rushers. He could reach that status, but he is not there yet. They have okay corners, led by Jason Verrett. The linebacker core is just okay as well. I like Melvin Ingram and Denzel Perryman, but they don't really jump out as super stars. Their D-Line, again, is just okay. Not great, okay. I don't get all the talk about this team being a sleeper. I just don't see it, especially since they still have Phillip Rivers as their QB and cornerstone.

At number 23 I have the New Orleans Saints. This team just cannot put it together enough on defense to get back to that contender level. Their defense is atrocious. When your big free agent signings are Manti Teo and Nick Fairley that does not make for a great turnaround for that side of the ball. They can't cover anyone, they can't get to the QB, they struggle to stop the run, they are flat out bad. What makes them a team worth watching is their offense. Drew Brees is still there and he is still slinging 5,000 yards a year and 35 touchdowns. He is still putting up video game numbers, even at his advanced age. They lost Brandin Cooks, which will hurt, but they have some decent, young receivers. Michael Thomas is good. Willie Snead can get yards. Coby Fleener is a great option at tight end. And if anyone can make Ted Ginn Jr look good, it is Drew Brees. They also have Mark Ingram and they signed Adrian Peterson. First off, Peterson is done as an elite runner, and that will be even more glaring behind a porous O-Line. He will either get hurt or not gain many yards because of the need to split time between himself and Ingram. I like Mark Ingram, but he is not a top tier running back. He is good at grinding out yards, and has some decent hands out of the backfield. Ingram is a fine third down back in the NFL. And while you night think that the signing of Peterson may help the line, due to play action, I don't think it will matter. I think Peterson will make zero difference for the Saints. The Saints will score a ton of points and be in games late against good competition, but their defense is so bad, that will be their downfall. I feel like 6 or 7 wins is the ceiling.

At number 22 I have the Cincinnati Bengals. Look, the Bengals are the Clippers of the NFL. This team has done nothing of note since the late 80's, yet they feel like an entitled bunch. They also keep rolling out the same team and they expect different results. Again, just like the Clippers. How much longer does Marvin Lewis have as a head coach? If he were anywhere else, he would be gone by now. But, with the Bengals franchise, I wouldn't be surprised if they gave him another extension this season. Andy Dalton is still the QB there. Andy Dalton is mediocre at best. This has to be league wide knowledge by now. He is never going to win a Super Bowl, and probably not even a playoff game. AJ Green is incredible, but he is stuck in a purgatory of sorts, playing for the Bengals and having Andy Dalton throw him the ball. He, much like Todd Gurley and LeSean McCoy, deserves much, much better. Jeremy Hill and Giovanni Bernard were supposed to be one of the better duos at running back last year. That didn't happen. They were both incredibly average. This team also went out and drafted Joe Mixon, who hits women, so I have no respect for that at all. Tyler Eifert is only getting older, and he seems to get hurt more often now than he ever did. This offense is below average, with Green being the exception. The defense shoots themselves in the foot so often, it is not even funny anymore. Guys like Vontaze Burfit, Adam Jones and Dre Kirkpatrick are awesome, but they are constantly doing things to get penalties that are crushing. And for the most part, the penalties are self inflicted. They would have won a playoff game 2 years ago if not for Burfict and Jones being selfish. The defense should be one of the better ones in the league, but the constant penalties are a nuisance that keeps holding them back. I do like the pick of John Ross, but I don't think it will matter when Andy Dalton is throwing the ball to him. Sorry RD, but the Bengals are fading back into the mediocrity that I grew up watching in the late 90's and early 2000's.

The final team for today, at number 21, I have the Indianapolis Colts. This team is the definition of average. They are going to win 7 or 8 games. You can write that in pen. They are so average. Andrew Luck is a fine QB, but he is not the world beater that many expected, myself included, when he was taken first overall in his draft. He also gets hurt a whole lot. Some of that is due to his terrible O-Line, constructed by an awful front office, and some of that is his fault. He does hold the ball too much, and he does run it a bit too much. At running back they are still counting on Frank Gore. Bless Frank Gore, I like Frank Gore, but he is well past his prime. He never really had the wheels, and being a grinder, his specialty, that is going away too. That is what happens to running backs when they get "older". I like T.Y. Hilton, but he should not be a number one option on a contender. He is great, but think of how great he'd be if he were teamed up with an AJ Green. That would be an amazing duo. That is what Hilton should be, a second option. I like Phillip Dorsett, but he is a third or fourth option at best. And they still have Adam Vinatieri. He is a good kicker, but when your kicker is one of your most important players, that is rough. The Colts defense may be as bad as the Saints. They have no one, and I mean no one of any consequence. Looking at their roster, names like Malik Hooker, Clayton Geathers, Vontae Davis,  and David Parry show up. These guys are not big names, and they will strike zero fear in opposing offenses. They cannot stop anything, and that is a problem. The Colts are the AFC's version of the Saints, except Drew Brees is much better than Andrew Luck. Like I said, they play in a horrific division, so they will get some cheap wins, and they will end somewhere between 5-11 or 8-8. Put it down in pen.

That's it for today. Come back for the next 4 teams tomorrow.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He does not understand the awesomeness that the Bengals will bring to the NFL this year. Marvin Lewis and Andy Dalton have been hustling the league for years, and now they are going to show their real face. 19-0. This looks like destiny.

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