My Toys Are Too Expensive

Yo Joe

I need to start the conversation and say that I am a 49 year old man. I have a wife, a mortgage, and a teenage son. I go to work with adults, I drive my family to weekend outings, and I eat in restaurants where I get served. I am a typical middle aged American man. Same as it ever was. Having said all of that, I also need to spend less money on toys.

Now when I say I need to spend less on toys I am not talking about things for my fourteen year old. I am talking about my toys. And before you start to giggle because you think I am talking about “adult toys”, calm down pervert, I am talking about toys you find in the toy aisle of stores. I’m talking Hot Wheels, action figures, and Lego’s. These are my toys and they are to damn expensive.

When I was a kid Star Wars and G.I. Joe figures were my main jam. Anytime I went to the store with my parents, I would always ask to get a new figure. It did not always work, but I did amass a pretty good collection. Then a few years ago Hasbro announced a premium line of six inch G.I. Joe’s, the Classified Collection, Star Wars had had their premium line The Black Series for a while. I always thought the Star Wars Black Series figures were overpriced and never went to get any of them, but G.I. Joe I was interested. The Classified Series came out and was priced at $20 a figure, and then not long after the price jumped to $24. I had major sticker shock. I could afford a figure every now and then, but I kept asking myself should I pay that much, I mean I am in my late forties.

I did pay that much. Right out of gate I found a Cobra Commander and I had to have him. When the Shipwreck figure was announced, I pre-ordered it. Today I own thirteen G.I. Joe Classifieds. Thats over $300 on action figures. Again, I’m a grown man.

Also, I play with these figures. Many contemporaries I know are collectors and get these premium figures and keep them in the box. Not me. The moment I get my figure I tear open the box. My Cobras all sit on my office desk, my Joes take up various poses on a display shelf in my home studio. I switch gear, make new poses, and try on every accesory ever few days. While I work, I do sound editing, I will fiddle with a figure to kill some time. And I did not stop with G.I. Joe. In the last few years I have bought a He-Man, Skelator, and Fisto (gotta have a Fisto), I have collected special edition Hot Wheels of The Simpsons Car, the flying time machine from Back To The Future and multiple Batmobiles, and I have a few Transformers led by my Hot Rod with The Matrix of Leadership. I have even gone back to the Star Wars well to get figures of Ashoka Tano and Clone Wars Yoda. All in all I have probably spent well over $500 to hold and pose action figures I loved as a kid.

I know I am lucky that I can go out there and spend money on something frivolous like an action figure modeled to be like the one’s from my youth. I just know that the price tag on these indulgences has given me pause. I wanted the Serpentor Classified figure, but I cannot find it for less than $100. Not going to make that purchase, I do have limits. Yet I know that one of these days these toy companies will find that right nostalgia point in my brain and make me forget the cost. I hope to be strong, but you never know.

Did Hasbro just announce an Iron Grenadiers figure? Sorry I have to go a place a pre-order.

RD

RD Kulik is the founder and Head Editor for SeedSing.com

Support us on patreon.

Why in the Hell Would Anyone Want to Play Doggie Doo

unsplash

I have a tale to tell.

My kids started their break from school today for turkey day. We went over to my folks house for brunch because they wanted to see the kids. They see them all the time, at least once a week, but now that both are in full time school, they do not see each of them at the same time as much as they used to. So we took the first day of break to hang out with them all morning and into the afternoon. We went out for brunch, one of my few times going to an actual restaurant during the pandemic, we went to an Italian grocer, my dad and I got coffee and got my mom and the kids some fancy drinks and we headed back to their house to hang for a bit before coming home.

Pretty good day so far.

When we got back to my folks house we watched the TV for a bit. My parents put it on Nickelodeon and "Paw Patrol" was on. I'm not a fan of that show, and to be honest, my kids do not really watch it anymore, but we were going to be leaving soon. But I am not here to talk about "Paw Patrol" today. I am here to talk about a commercial I saw for what I think might be the grossest kids game I have ever seen created.

The game is called Doggie Doo. If you cannot tell by the name, the game is all about collecting dog poo. That is how you win the game. I am not joking you. The more dog poop you collect the better off you are in the end. While watching the commercial they showed the game being played. It is a simple dice game, and when you roll, the number you get is how many times you squeeze the dog bone in the dog's mouth. So a 3 gives you 3three squeezes, 2, 2 two squeezes, and so on and so forth. The more squeezes, the more of a chance you have that the dog will go poop. And when it showed the dog going to the bathroom it made this gross slimy sound and a fake piece of dog poop popped out of the dog's butt.

My dad and I both looked at each other with disgust and dismay. We could not believe our eyes. I am not opposed to gross things, and I fully understand that everyone poops, it is human nature, but to make a game for kids that you win by collecting dog turds, that is foul. I simply don't know who this game is marketed for. I am truly at a loss. Kids like gross stuff, but my kids refuse to pick up after our dog. I am sure my nieces and nephew are the same with their dogs. I have to imagine most other kids in the world are not begging their parents to pick up after their dogs. I do not like picking up after my dog. I do it because I have to and because it is rude and gross to not pick up after your dog. But I can assure you that I am not angling to play a game where the objective is to collect the most poop. I have to imagine that the person that pitched this idea is either a psychopath, or they pitched it as a total joke not expecting it to get made. But here we are, in November of 2021, and this game called Doggie Doo is being sold in stores. It is clearly on at this time because Hasbro wants to see as many of these as they can for the upcoming gift giving holidays. They would not put a commercial for this game on national TV if they did not have intentions of selling as many of the game as they possibly can. But I say again, I do not get it. At all. I do not know anyone that is really pushing to get this game. I can't think of many parents rushing to the store to buy this game. Sure, there have been games with boogers in them, I'm sure someone has made a game with fake vomit, but this Doggie Doo game takes the cake for me as the grossest kids game to ever be made.

I promise you my kids will not have this game, and I would not be surprised if Doggie Doo ends up in the deep clearance bin by the time the new year rolls around. What a horrible and disgusting idea.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

I am Going to Miss Toys R Us

So long Jeffery

I’ve read a few headlines today that all seem to say that Toys R Us will be closing all their doors, at least in the US, for good. I’m not exactly sure when, but it seems imminent.

This is a real bummer for me. I have loved Toys R Us since I was a child. Now, my children have grown to love the store. I know my wife loves the place. My parents have bought so many things from there, I can’t imagine how much money they could have saved. I’m terrified to tell my 6 year old because I fear he will freak out. Sure, he can still get Legos, video games and Imaginext toys at other stores, Target, but Toys R Us was always a fun adventure for him and I. His face lights up every time we go there. So this is going to devastate him.

But, as I said, it kind of hurts me too. I can remember getting a lot of my early sports equipment from there. I’d get gloves, wiffle ball bats and balls, footballs, basketballs, all kinds of early sports stuff for cheap at Toys R Us. This was all before I got very serious about sports too. It was more cost effective and it let me try a plethora of things. But, the very few actual toys I had as a child, again, sports equipment were toys for me, I got at Toys R Us. I used to play with GI Joe figures. All of those were purchased there. The Starting Lineup sports figurines I owned, another Toys R Us purchase. Some older Simpsons toys I had I got there. Hell, even as I got older and started to play video games, I would get a good majority of them at Toys R Us. PlayStation games were always cheaper there. So were Nintendo 64 and Sega Genesis games. It was the spot to save a few dollars when I needed too. And even when they started to sell movies I would opt for Toys R Us over other retail stores, especially when it came to Disney movies. They always seemed like the first stores to get movies when they “came out of the Disney vault”. I know for a fact that I had VHS copies of “Aladdin” and “The Lion King” that I got from Toys R Us. Even DVD’s became a staple for me to purchase at Toys R Us. When I went through watching all the “Star Wars” movies recently, the only spot I could find the prequels at a reasonable price was Toys R Us. I never should have bought them, but spending 15 bucks for “The Phantom Menace” at Toys R Us, compared to the 30 plus dollars at a Best Buy or online, was the much better option.

I’m going to miss all this from this store. Hell, I liked Toys R Us so much that my friends and I would go hang there in middle school because they had open rims that we would play intense games of one on one basketball in, until we got kicked out. I remember having full on tournaments, and sometimes, even dunk contests. Same thing can be said for games of wiffle ball. We’d find an open isle and pitch and hit against one another. It was perfect. I’m really going to miss this place. It has given me, and now my son, so much joy.

This is the day and age we live in now. People would rather shop online than go physically buy stuff. I’m very guilty of that myself. I just wished I had patronized Toys R Us a little more. Maybe it would still be around. Well, RIP to probably the greatest toy store, outside of FAO Schwartz, that has ever existed. You were a true gem and a big, big part of my childhood. You will be missed.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He may be a millennial, but Ty still prefers to shop for his toys in person and not online. His philosophy even extends to his grocery shopping.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Ty got His Very Own BB-8 and You Should Too

The Droid you are looking for

I very recently just saw all 7 Star Wars movies. I like 4 of the 7, I hated the prequels with a fiery passion, but I'm not going to write more about the movies today. I'm actually going to write about a toy from "The Force Awakens" that I am now obsessed with.

My son just recently got a BB-8 toy that may be the coolest toy that I have ever seen or played with. This thing is absolutely awesome. It has different levels of usage that make this toy even better. You can put it in test mode and it does everything that it did in the box at the store, basically, a mini preview of all of its functions. But, there are two other settings. When you put the BB-8 toy on setting 1, it moves based on sounds. So, if you clap, laugh, yell, talk, cough, basically any noise, BB-8 moves. BB-8 will roll to wherever it hears the sound. BB-8 moves to me when I cough. The first time it happened, it scared the hell out of me. I didn't know what I did, but I know I had done something. My son came out of his room clapping and BB-8 followed him wherever he went, if he was clapping. This too scared my son. When my wife got home from work and was laughing at something, and wouldn't you know it, that little robot moved to my wife. She was the only one not scared, she laughed very hard at it. Then, my dog was barking at some kids or cars driving outside our house and BB-8 made a beeline for him. This terrified my dog. He is still terrified of it whenever it moves. This is quite funny to all of us. Now, mind you, this is all on setting 1 only. This is so cool. This new BB-8 toy is sensitive to noise to a fault, but when it works and moves, it is so awesome to see and marvel at. I love it.

Later I was introduced to setting 2. I did not know that this setting existed until my wife showed it to me. This is the best part of this toy. Setting 2 allows you to operate BB-8 with your voice. This is groundbreaking. This is incredible. The whole point is to talk to BB-8, much like Poe Dameron, Finn and Rey do in the movie. BB-8 reacts so much better to your voice than to the sounds like clapping and the such. You put on setting 2, and BB-8 just sits and waits for you, with the blue light blinking. So, I was sitting there and my wife told me to try it out. I looked at BB-8 and I said, out loud, "Come here BB-8", and wouldn't you know it, BB-8 came right to my feet. Then, my son said the same thing I did and BB-8 rolled on over to him. My wife said it, and here comes BB-8, ready to help out anyway it can. I was enthralled by this. I started trying out different sayings, stuff like, "What's up BB-8", or "How's it hanging BB-8", or even, in my angriest voice, "get over here BB-8", and BB-8 rolls over, ready for it's next instruction. This was so damn cool to me.

Toys have become so much better and so much cooler and way more innovative since I was a kid, and I think it's great. I would have never thought that a toy could be activated by a sound or my voice, but I have to say, I think it's fantastic. This toy is so great to have fun with your family, friends and to harass your house pets. The best part about this toy is how much I can mess with my dog with it. Charlie hates this thing, but it is so much fun to see him try and paw at BB-8, or when he gets really angry, watch him lose his mind and bark his face off at this toy until he gets tired. That alone was worth getting this toy, just so I can mess with my dog. I highly recommend buying this toy. Star Wars fans will love this toy, but I think people that like new age toys will really have a good time with BB-8. This toy is great and I cannot say enough good things about. This toy only makes me like "The Force Awakens" that much more and I loved that movie. Go buy this BB-8 toy now and your life will instantly get one thousand times better. I promise you this.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. This is the second best toy he has ever seen, falling behind his beloved Funzo. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.