Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Cold Beer on a Warm Christmas Morning Edition

Day four of my NFL preview. We finally have, at least one team, that I think will be right at .500, or slightly above. These next four teams are either regressing or taking a big step forward. I have a feeling that one of the teams I mentioned today, a lot of the readers will think I'm nuts, but I have a lot of hope. We are finally getting to some decent teams. Okay, enough preamble, let's get to it.

At number 20, I have my biggest shocker, possibly in my whole countdown, the Jacksonville Jaguars. I don't know what it is about this team, but I think they are on their way to becoming hyper competitive. I have liked what they have done the past couple of years, and I know they had a chance to win their division last year, but that division was a joke. But, I have a feeling they could really become a threat in that division sooner rather than later. First off, I think Blake Bortles is on the verge of becoming an upper level QB. He is never going to be elite (ed note: like Joe Flacco), but he is becoming more than just a game manager. He is starting to throw the long ball, and instead of just managing the game, he is starting to look like he can win some games for this team. He was a huge fantasy pick up for me last year too. I wasted a fourth round pick on Peyton Manning, but I feel like I struck gold with my 12th round pick of Bortles. He is going to become very good this season. Bortles also has 2 up and coming receivers that really blew up last year, and I see more good things from them in the future. Allen Hurns and Allen Robinson are going to become pro bowlers and upper echelon NFL receivers. They are fast, have great hands, run excellent routes and get to the right spot almost every time. Then, if he can stay healthy, Julius Thomas is one of the better tight ends in the league. He's big, has good hands, and since he is a former college basketball player, he is good at "boxing" out defenders and getting to balls other tight ends usually have no chance at. At running back, they have one of the better Alabama products in TJ Yeldon. He has great patience, looks for open holes and runs fast, but more importantly, hard. He could be the one Alabama back that can turn into a formidable pro. Their offensive line in commendable as well. On defense, if they can get some of the young guys they have on the field, they could be halfway decent. The defense will still be the problem for a year or two, but when guys like Dante Fowler, Myles Jack and Jalen Ramsey get their feet wet, they could be very good. I really like what the Jaguars are doing, but they may still be a year or two away, but they are coming. I say they go 7-9 this year, and that would be huge for them. They are going to be highly competitive this season.

At number 19, I have the Baltimore Ravens. Talk about a team that could not catch a break last year. Injuries and poor QB play really did them in. They do have good players at the skill positions, but Joe Flacco is not that good (ed note: not elite?). He's too error prone and makes the worst mistakes at the worst time. But, they do have Steve Smith and Breshad Perriman at receiver. Those guys are both good, and Steve Smith, who is old, has seemed to only have gotten better with age. At running back, after the entire Ray Rice situation, he's a monster, they have Justin Forsett, who I think is very good. He can get to the holes and rack up yardage pretty quick. Dennis Pitta is still there at tight end, so they still have a reliable safety blanket. Their defense is still good, but they have suffered attrition. Terrell Suggs is still there, but he may be the lone holdover from their Super Bowl win on defense. CJ Moseley, Jimmy Smith and Elvis Dumervil are all very good, and they signed Eric Weddle for next to nothing after the Chargers let him walk. Baltimore is bound for a turnaround, they are too good of a team with a very good head coach, but they unfortunately are in a division with the Steelers and Bengals, who I will get to next week, and that will keep them in third place. But, they are my first .500 team, because I think they will finish 8-8.

At number 18, I have the New York Giants. The Giants are one of the most annoying teams in all of football, but they seem to be bad one year, then good the next. This season comes after a very mediocre season from them. Odell Beckham, right behind Julio Jones, may be the next best receiver in all of football. He makes some of the greatest catches in the game, and he is a very hard guy to cover. They also have Victor Cruz, who is still good, despite being hurt almost all of last season. Rashard Jennings is a decent running back, and so is Shane Vereen. The problem with the offense is Eli Manning. He is an interception machine, and he makes so many ill conceived throws. Yeah, he has 2 Super Bowl rings, but it wasn't because of him. Their defense has the ability to be good, but they do make a lot of mistakes. Jason Pierre-Paul is an excellent pass rusher, but he also blew half his hand off playing with fireworks, so who knows if he will ever be the same again. Olivier Vernon is pretty good, so maybe he will become the new and improved version of Pierre-Paul. The linebackers are okay, and the secondary is ho hum. Their d line is where it's at for them. They also mercifully let Tom Coughlin go, but their hire of Ben McaDoo is very uninspired. The Giants play in a terrible division, and they could conceivably win with a 8-8 record, but I think they will finish at 7-9. 

My final team today, coming in at number 17, is the team I dislike the most, the Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys are so incredibly overrated, it's disgusting. They have a very good team on paper, but they have proven that stuff doesn't matter. Tony Romo is the most overrated QB of all time, hands down. No one has ever been given so much credit for doing nothing other than being the QB of the cowboys. He always chokes in the playoffs, he always makes crucial mistakes, he cannot stay healthy, why do people think he is elite? He is so far from elite, it's preposterous. I'd rather have Eli Manning, Joe Flaco, almost any QB on any team I've already mentioned on this countdown before I'd take Romo. Romo stinks. They do have a good receiver in Dez Bryant, but he is always fighting with coaches and teammates and he can't seem to stay away from trouble off the field. Jason Witten is good, but old, and kind of overrated himself. Their running game in virtually nonexistent since DeMarco Murray left. I also don't buy the Ezekial Elliot hype. He played in a spread offense in college, and those guys don't translate well to the NFL. He may also be a girlfriend abuser with the stories that came out a few weeks ago. The defense played out of their minds two years ago, but they returned to their mediocre form last year. Guys can't stay healthy or out of trouble. Sure, they released that monster Greg Hardy, but they still have head cases like Rolando McClain on their roster. They also have oft injured guys like Sean Lee in their linebacking corp. The Cowboys aren't very good, but they are in the same division as the Giants, Eagles and Washington, so a bad record could very easily win the division. I think the Cowboys will find their way, somehow, to 8-8.

Come back tomorrow for my next four teams and a review of the Louis CK show I'm going to tonight.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He just does not see the little things Romo does to make the Cowboys great. At least that is what the Head Editor thinks. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty's NFL Preview 2015: AFC

Ty is set to watch some NFL foot... wait, why the hell is his drink green?

Ed Note: We will break Ty's NFL preview up into three parts. Today we give you the AFC, tomorrow the NFC, and then the Super Bowl and awards.

On the heels of my 2015 college football preview, I'll be doing my first annual, "Ty's NFL Preview".

Much in the same vain as the college preview, I'll pick division winners, two wild cards from each conference, the teams that will play in the conference championship games, the Super Bowl winner and the offensive and defensive players of the year. Hell, I'll even throw in my pick for coach of the year and offensive and defensive rookies of the year. No preseason bull shit, because, just like the preseason poll in college football, preseason in the NFL doesn't mean anything to anyone that's watching. Preseason is more for players trying to make teams. And, no matter how terrible of a commissioner Roger Goodell is, I've mentioned how bad he is many times on the site, NFL football is the most popular sport in America and I love it just as much as any other fan out there.

So, let's get started. First, I'll break down the AFC. I'll start with the AFC East. The AFC East consists of the Buffalo Bills, Miami Dolphins, New York Jets and defending super bowl champs, the New England Patriots. The Bills had a pretty wild offseason. First, their former coach, Doug Marrone, quit out of nowhere, He led this team to 9 wins last season, with no decent QB, and just up and quit. It made no sense to me. So, the Bills hired Rex Ryan after he was fired by the Jets. I don't like this hire because I don't think Rex Ryan is a good head coach. He knows a lot about defense, but basically doesn't care or seem to know anything about offense. They also traded a linebacker, Kiko Alonso, to the Eagles for one of the top running backs in the league in LeSean McCoy. He didn't want to sign long term, but eventually did. They also signed supreme douchebag, Richie Incognito one year after his suspension for bullying. Like I said, a bizarre offseason. The Bills, I think, will look like the same team they did last season. They'll have a good running game, a good defense and no passing game whatsoever. They have no capable QB's on their roster and, with the exception of Sammy Watkins, no threats at receiver. I say 8 or 9 wins for the Bills. The Miami Dolphins made the biggest splash in free agency by bringing in Ndomakong Suh. They gave him a HUGE contract, but the guy is the best interior defensive lineman in the league. On offense they will look much the same, led by Ryan Tannehill at quarterback. They seem like a team on the rise and I think they're New England's biggest threat in the East. They could easily win 10,11 or even 12 games this year and possibly win the division. The New York Jets are a complete mess. First of all, their best defensive player, Sheldon Richardson, decided to drive his car 143 mph on the highway, and to top it off, he had guns in that car. He may never play football again. Next, a back up linebacker sucker punched starting QB Geno Smith in the jaw over what appears to be a $600 debt and he's out, at least 6-10 weeks. They have no real running game, the QB situation will be taken over by Ryan Fitzpatrick, and their defense, while solid, is only getting older, and they don't have Richardson clogging up the middle. I'd be surprised if they won 6 games this year. This brings me to the defending champions, New England Patriots. They've had an odd offseason as well. The main thing being the stupid non story of "deflategate". Another huge error in judgement from the moronic Roger Goodell. Tom Brady is supposed to miss the first four games of the season, we'll see if that holds up, and I think this will hurt the Patriots more than most. Jimmy Garroppolo may be good in a few years, but he's not ready. The Patriots do have a good running game and you can line up Rob Gronkowski against almost anyone and I'd take him, but their defense is suspect and can lose games for them. Darelle Revis also left to sign with the Jets this offseason, and that will sting. I still see the Patriots winning 10 or 11 games if Brady only misses 1 or 2 games. If he misses all four, they're more like an 8 or 9 win team to me. For that reason alone, I'm picking the Miami Dolphins to win the AFC East.

Next, The AFC North. In the North we have, the Baltimore Ravens, Pittsburgh Steelers, Cincinnati Bengals and Cleveland Browns. The Ravens are a decent football team. They have a great defense, they always do, and are led on offense by Joe Flacco. That's a good and a bad thing. When he's good, he can be great, but when he's bad, he's really bad. One week he will throw for 350 yards and five touchdowns, but the next week, he'll go for less than 100 yards and 3 or 4 interceptions. But, the Ravens find ways to win 10 games every year and I don't see that changing this season. The Pittsburgh Steelers have to deal with a suspension to running back LeVeon Bell, only two games, but it will still hurt. They still have Ben Roesthliberger at QB, but he's old and, while never the fastest guy out there, seems to get slower every season. Antonio Brown is a great receiver, one of the best in the league, and will stretch the field on defenses all season. The Steelers should be good for 9 to 11 wins this season. The Cincinnati Bengals are a very predictable team. They will look very good at times. Andy Dalton will be a decent QB, but make his typical mistakes. AJ Green is an electric receiver and catches some of the worst throws in the NFL and Giovanni Bernard is going to be a star. Their defense is worrisome. They got older and their big off season acquisition of AJ Hawk doesn't make them any better. He's old and the rest of that defense is getting older. They will be good for 10 or 11 wins and probably crap out in the first round of the playoffs again. Last, and certainly least, is the Cleveland Browns. They're a joke of a franchise and be it Johnny Manziel(please God no!) or Josh McCown at QB, it doesn't matter, the Browns stink. They have no receivers, no real running game, and stink on defense. If they win 5 games I will be shocked. This division will be tough, minus the Browns, but this seems to be Pittsburgh's last shot and I think they win 11 games and the division.

Next we have the AFC South. This is a division with one, maybe two real teams, but really, the South is owned by the Indianapolis Colts. Their only real threat in the Houston Texans, and that's a reach. There's also the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Tennessee Titans. The Jaguars upgraded their offense by signing Julius Thomas, but Blake Bortles needs at least one more season to get his feet wet and the defense isn't ready yet. It will be another 4 or 5 win season for the Jaguars. The Titans are being led by a rookie QB in Marcus Mariota, and while he may be good, when your team is being led by a rookie, with no weapons on offense around him, it's going to be a long, tough season. Their defense is pretty awful as well. They'd be lucky to win 3 or 4 games this year. The Texans have one of the best defenses in the league, led by all world defensive end JJ Watt. They are pretty stout on the line, have good linebackers and a pretty decent secondary. Offense is where the problem lies. They do have a good running back in Arian Foster, when he's not hurt, and a great up and coming receiver in DeAndre Hopkins, but who's going to be the QB? Ryan Mallet or Brian Hoyer are the two choices, and I don't think either of them have played, or are good enough to win in this league. The Texans will be better, but anything more than 9 wins would be surprising. The Colts are the class of the division. They have an explosive offense led by Andrew Luck. They have receivers like TY Hilton and signed Andre Johnson this offseason. They do a running back by committee, but this is a passing offense. Their defense is bend, but don't break and they play it very well. The Colts will win 12 games easily this season and win the AFC South running away.

The final division  is the AFC West. This is another two team division, but can anybody really beat the Denver Broncos. Their only competition will be the San Diego Chargers. The Chargers drafted Melvin Gordon this draft and he will be a big upgrade for them at the running back position. They just locked down Phillip Rivers to a long term deal and he is a great QB in this league. Their defense in just okay. They will win at least 10 games this season, but the 4 game suspension to Antonio Gates will hurt their passing game. The Broncos are led by Peyton Manning. He's one of the best QB's of all time and he continues to churn out 4,000 yard and 35 touchdown seasons. Montee Ball should bounce back after an injury plagued, subpar season. While they lost Julius Thomas, they still have Demayrius Thomas and a bunch of other great receivers. The defense is led by Von Miller, and they are stout in all three phases of defense. Hiring Gary Kubiak won't change this team much at all. They should be a 12 or 13 win team again. The other two teams in the division are the Kansas City Chiefs and the Oakland Raiders. The Chiefs are competitive, but they are pretty stale. Alex Smith is not a great QB, they don't score with their passing game, and there's only so much Jamal Charles can do. Their defense is okay, but not great. 8 or 9 wins is their best possible outcome. The Raiders are still a joke, but they seem like they're trying to get better. Derek Carr could still be a good QB and drafting Amari Cooper and signing Michael Crabtree will help. The running game is still a work in progress. The defense is not that good and that will keep them back. But, linebacker Khalil Mack is going to be a star in this league. 5 or 6 wins would be a good season for the Raiders. The Broncos will continue to win this conference as long as Peyton Manning is the QB.

So, the four division winners, the Dolphins, the Steelers, the Colts and the Broncos will all be in the playoffs and the two wild cards will be, the Chargers and the Patriots. The Bengals and Ravens will get shut out. The Colts and Broncos will have the first round byes. The Chargers will beat the Dolphins and the Steelers will beat the Patriots. In the next round, The Colts will beat the Chargers and the Broncos will beat the Steelers. In the AFC Championship, the Colts will beat the Broncos and find themselves in the Super Bowl.

Come back tomorrow for some NFC action.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. Is he going to pick Green bay for the NFC, I think he is going to pick Green Bay. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.