Jay Cutler Signing with the Dolphins is Terrible on Every Level

Artist depiction of the 2017 Miami Dolphins season

I'm going to be doing a very big, 2 week long NFL and college football preview, but that is all starting next week. Today though, I will be talking about the NFL. I need to address the signing of Jay Cutler by the Dolphins at 1 year, 10 million dollars.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THE DOLPHINS THINKING?!

This signing is absolutely ludicrous. This may be the worst free agent signing I have ever seen in my time as a sports fan. I'm not joking or trying to put a hot take out there either. I have sat and thought about that very thing since I heard the news yesterday at around noon. I cannot think of a more atrocious signing.

Honestly.

I looked back at basketball and the best comparison I could come up with was what the Lakers gave Timofey Mozgov last year, and I still think Cutler is worse. Mozgov is not great, but he is a better basketball player than Cutler is a football player, and it is not even close. Mozgov, while barely playing, does at least have a ring, and was a minimal part in the Cavs getting there. Other NBA signings I thought of were Evan Tuner to Portland, Al Horford to Boston, Reggie Jackson getting a max contract in Detroit and Greg Monroe to the Bucks, but none of those sniff the terribleness that is the Cutler signing. Hell, I think both Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah to the Knicks were "better" decisions than this one.

I then thought about baseball, and the best I could come up with is David Price's current Red Sox contract. He is a choker in the playoffs, just like Cutler, but he is lights out in the regular season. Cutler is dreadful all season long. Jacoby Ellsbury to the Yankees a few years back was another, but he was a multiple World Series winner, and he is still a contributor there.

Then I started to scour other NFL signings. Darelle Revis going back to the Jets immediately popped into my head, but he had one decent season with them before he declined. He has also had a pretty good career in the NFL. Much better than Cutler's for sure. Tavon Austin got a decent contract recently from the Rams, but he is still considered a "threat" by some as a returner and slot receiver. Wes Welker to the Broncos was pretty bad, but he was still productive when he was able to play. Darren McFadden to the Cowboys struck me as bad, but he may become a whole hell of a lot more important to that team as a backup now, what with the news that Ezekial Elliot may have destroyed evidence in his current assault case. Even when the Patriots gave Chad Johnson a chance, it wasn't deemed as bad as this signing. People legitimately thought that the Patriots could turn him into a useful player. When they realized he didn't have it anymore, they cut him. The Dolphins will not do that to Cutler.

As I thought more and more about it, and I even had a chat with a buddy of mine that is a Dolphins fan prior to this signing, we both think that Matt Moore would have been perfectly serviceable as the main guy this year. First off, the Patriots are going to win that division. Write that down in pen. But, Moore could lead that team to a Wild Card spot pretty easily. He was pretty good in his 5 starts last year, winning 3 of them. He even helped the Dolphins hang around until he got exploded by a hit from a Steelers defender. Besides Jimmy Garroppolo, Matt Moore is the only other backup QB I could name. I had to look up the Packers backup, and that is my team. The Dolphins have a very fine backup, and they just shit all over him by signing that dipshit Jay Cutler.

Which brings me to my final thought on this signing. Why did they pick Cutler over Colin Kaepernick? In fact, why is Kaepernick still unsigned? Don't feed me that, "he would be a locker room problem and we don't want the media circus that comes with him" nonsense either. He is ten times the QB that Cutler is. He is a more mobile Ryan Tannehill in fact. He would have fit into the Dolphins system with ease. He is friends with the skill players on that team already. He is younger. He cares more. He has been to a Super Bowl. He wants to win. He wants to play. I do not care, in fact I fully agree with him that America is a screwed up place, especially when talking about the police. He spoke his mind, and now he is paying for it. That is insane. People need to look at his ability. Like I said, he is a more mobile Tannehill. He has great arm strength. Sure, his passer rating and interception to TD ratio was out of whack last year, but I don't think anyone, save for maybe Aaron Rodgers, Cam Newton or Tom Brady, could have played any better for the dreadful 49ers.

I didn't want to say it, but I now fully believe that Colin Kaeprnick is being blackballed by the NFL and Roger Goodell. By all accounts from last year, he was a great teammate and not a distraction. But, anytime I turn on ESPN and they talk about Kaepernick, or I listen to one of the any NFL podcasts I listen to, they all say that he would be a problem for the front office and any team that may sign him. Some say it is due to deteriorated play, others say it is due to his outspoken nature. To all those people I say, bull shit. Colin Kaepernick belongs on an NFL roster more than a lot of current QB's, and much, much more than Jay Cutler belongs anywhere.

This is going to be a disaster for the Dolphins, and they are going to waste a season where they could have made the playoffs with Matt Moore. Jay Cutler is TERRIBLE, and they whiffed big time on not signing Colin Kaepernick. What a bunch of bozos.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is very impressed with the NFL's stand against free thought. Maybe the league can start to tackle minor issues facing the league like domestic violence and brain injuries.

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Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: The Dumpster Fire Edition

Football is right around the corner people. The preseason starts next Sunday, and the regular season is a little over a month away. For the next 8 days I will countdown the teams in the NFL, 4 teams a day, going from worst to best, in my opinion. On day nine, I will do my postseason picks, including the Super Bowl winner, and I will also pick all my award winners. I will stick to some of my other, regular blogs, i.e., the "Bar Rescue" updates and some greatest American band picks, but for the most part, the next two weeks will be NFL heavy. I will also do a college football preview at the end of next week. So, hopefully everyone is ready for some football talk, because I'm ready to watch some football. I will break down the teams to the best of my knowledge and tell you why I have them where I have them in my rankings. 

Okay, let's get to the countdown.

Coming in at number 32, the worst team in the league this season will be the Cleveland Browns. The Browns are an absolute dumpster fire. They did some good things this offseason. They fired their old coach, they dumped Johnny Manziel, finally, they hired what seems to be a decent head coach, but other than that, this team is not very good. Their defense is very, very below average. They have no one on that side of the ball that can strike fear in any opponent. Their defensive line gets no pressure, their linebackers are mediocre and their secondary is subpar. They will give up a ton of points. Unfortunately for their defense, their offense won't be able to put up too many points. They have an okay receiver in Josh Gordon, but he hangs out with Johnny Manziel, he's been suspended multiple times for violating the leagues drug rules and, when he is in there, he doesn't have a very good QB throwing him the ball. The only 2 QB's worth anything on their roster are Josh McCown and Robert Griffin. McCown is not good enough to be most teams third string QB and we all know about Robert Griffin. He's a prima donna that cannot stay healthy and forced his way out of Washington. He had a great rookie year, but he has been oft injured and, when he is healthy, he has been pretty awful. They don't have any good running backs, so the run won't scare anyone. Their offensive line is subpar at best as well. The Browns stink. If they win 3 games this year, I'd be shocked. Hue Jackson is a good coach, but it is going to take some time before the Browns are anything close to an 8 or 9 win team. I say they finish 2-14 this year.

Coming in at number 31, I have the San Francisco 49ers. You may see that and think, they were a contender only 2 years ago, well, a lot has changed in 2 years. They put all their eggs in the Colin Kaepernick basket and he has proven to not be that good. He has no accuracy, cannot throw the deep ball and abandons plays way too early and relies on his legs too much. Then, people may say, well they hired Chip Kelly, way can't he turn the 49ers and Kaepernick around. First off, Kelly is not a good NFL coach. His zone read does not work in the very fast paced NFL. Chip Kelly is a college coach that somehow got two NFL jobs. He is not a competent NFL coach. They just lost their best receiver, Anquan Boldin, and they have no running game, Carlos Hyde is not that good. They lost all their good defenders a year ago to, mostly, retirement. This team can't score and they can't stop anyone. They are only slightly, very slightly, better than the Browns. I think the 49ers will go 3-13 or 4-12. They are not very good and until they overhaul the whole team, and get a new head coach, they will continue to be bad.

Coming in at number 29, I have the Tennessee Titans. I have liked what they have done in the draft the past couple of years, but Mariota is still only a second year player and he has little to no weapons around him. The Titans receivers are good, but very young and very unproven. They still need a few years. The backs are mediocre, but they can get better. The offensive line is not very good, save for Taylor Lewan, but he still gets far too many personal foul penalties. They have decent tight ends, but when the QB has very little time to find them, it doesn't matter. The Titans defense is not very good. Even when they play bad teams, like the 49ers and Browns, they still give up 20 to 30 points. This team also tries to run some kind of hybrid read option/west coast offense that looks very bad at times. Mariota still needs another year or two before he reaches his possible potential, as do the receivers and the backs. The defense needs to get a whole lot better before they are competitive. They can get better through the draft, which seems to be the way Titans are rebuilding right now. The Titans may win 5 games, but anymore than that would be a huge surprise to pretty much everyone, Titans fans included. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say they finish 5-11.

At number 28, I have Mike Wilbon's favorite team, the Chicago Bears. This may surprise some people, the fact that I have the Bears this far down on my list, but they are a very, very bad football team. They let their best offensive weapon walk last year, Matt Forte, to the Jets. They have no good receivers. I don't care that they have names like Alshon Jeffrey and Kevin White, neither are that good. Hell, Kevin White didn't play a single snap last year because he got injured in camp. They don't have Martellus Bennett anymore, so they have no tight end threat. They got rid of Forte, as I mentioned earlier, and their consolation prizes are Jacquizz Rodgers and Jeremy Langford. Then they have one of the worst, most overrated, most annoying, most self inflating assholes at QB in Jay Cutler. I don't understand why people think he is a good QB. He didn't win in college. He has been very subpar in the pros. In fact, the lone time he has been to the playoffs, he got "hurt" and missed most of the Bears loss to the Packers. Jay Cutler may be the most overrated, non deserving players in the entire NFL. As long as he is the Bears QB, they will continue to be very mediocre on offense, especially since Matt Forte is gone. The Bears defense is not very good either. Sure, they signed Danny Treveathan away from Denver, but he will not turn this unit around on his own. They have no defensive line, and don't listen to the nonsense that has been coming out of Kyle Long's mouth recently, he is out of his mind. They can't pressure the QB and they can't stop the run. The linebacking unit, save for Treveathan, is subpar. The secondary in not good at all. The Bears are bad. The only reason they are ahead of the three teams before is, they always find some way to miraculously win a game or 2 that they should have no shot. They will either go 4-12 or 5-11. The Bears stink and they need a new QB.

That's it for today. Come back tomorrow for teams 28, 27, 26 and 25 and a "Bar Rescue" update.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The teams he listed above would cause him to change away from the NFL RedZone network. These are teams with nothing worth watching. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.