Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Perfectly Cooked Porterhouse Edition

Now, for the final four. I legitimately believe, nor would I be surprised, if any one of these teams won the Super Bowl. Hell, two of the final four may end up playing each other. These teams are the best of the best. They have the best players, the best offenses, the best defenses, they have it all. These the elite.

At number 4, I have the defending Super Bowl champs, the Denver Broncos. The Broncos defense is so incredibly good, but since I've started with offense the whole preview, I'm not going to change now. Sure, Peyton Manning retired, and sure, he is a first ballot hall of famer, but he was the not the reason the Broncos won the Super Bowl. He played very, very poorly last year. They won in spite of him. Now that he is gone, they do have a question at QB. They traded for Mark Sanchez, why would anyone do that, and they have Trevor Simien on the roster, but he wasn't even good enough to be the primary QB at Northwestern, but they did draft a QB, Paxton Lynch. I wasn't high on any of the QB's in this draft, but Lynch is one of the taller ones, he has an okay arm, and he can run. But, the Broncos don't need an all world QB, they just need a game manager. I'm sure Sanchez will start the season as QB 1, but I bet by week 4 or 5, Lynch will be in there. The Broncos running game was supposed to be good last year, but it was non existent. CJ Anderson and Ronnie Tillman were supposed to be a great 1-2 punch, but neither of them did much of anything. They were mediocre last year, but I expect some kind of bounce back. The Broncos do have great receivers. Emmanuel Sanders and Demaryius Thomas are both great, even though Thomas drops a lot of balls, but they don't have a good QB throwing to them. They will get open, but will the QB, whoever it is, get the ball to them. The o line is just fine at pass blocking, but their run blocking needs to get better. Now, where the Broncos shine is defense. They are one of the best defenses in the history of football. They absolutely stifled the Patriots and Panthers on their way to the title last year. Von Miller is probably the best linebacker in football. He is a great pass rusher, run stopper and can cover. He is the total package. They lost Danny Treveathan, but that won't hurt them that much. When Aqib Talib isn't getting into mysterious bar fights, he is a great shut down corner. He plays dirty, but he has found a way to get away with it. Bradley Roby is a ball hawk. If he has a chance at a pick or a fumble recovery, he will get there. He is always in the right place at the right time. DeMarcus Ware is a beast off the edge. He is unblockable, and the best thing for him was getting out of Dallas and going to Denver. And TJ Ward and Chris Harris are exceptional defensive backs. The Broncos defense is loaded, and they will once again carry the to a division title and a deep playoff run. I think they finish 12-4.

At number 3, I have the New England Patriots. I know that Tom Brady is suspended for 4 games, but they won when he got hurt and Matt Cassell was the QB. Jimmy Garrappolo is better than Matt Cassel. He will keep them afloat until Brady gets back, and when he does get back, Brady will be on a mission. Goodell poked the bear, and the rest of the NFL is going to suffer for it. The Patriots don't have much of a running game, which is their Achilles heel. Dion Lewis and Legarrette Blount are fine, but they are not even middle of the field in the NFL. But, the Patriots have receivers all over the field, and they have the best weapon in all of the NFL in Gronk. Yeah, Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola and Chris Hogan are fine. But, Gronk is the man. He catches everything, he is unguardable, he is the best red zone threat in all of the football and he is the biggest and fastest player to ever play his position. They also got Martellus Bennett to pair with him as well. That will be deadly. The Patriots o line needs work, but the speed that Brady gets the ball out of his hand, that neutralizes any deficiencies I think they have. The Patriots defense is serviceable. The can get stops when they need to and they can get pressure. I know Rob Ninkovich just got hurt, but he will be back by October. They did sign Chris Long this offseason. That was a huge, yet very quiet singing. Chris Long is awesome. They still have Malcolm Butler, and he is a very good corner. Jamie Collins and Dont'a Hightower are still roaming the linebacker duties, and they are both good. The Patriots, as they have been the entire 21st century are good. They may not miss Brady all that much for the first four games, and when he comes back, look out, he will be on a mission to destroy. I say they split the first four games, then win 11 of the next 12 and finish at 13-3.

At number 2, I have the Arizona Cardinals. This is the Cardinals last chance with this team to make a deep run, but they have the talent to do just that on both sides of the ball. Carson Palmer is a very good regular season QB. He puts up big numbers and plays very well, during the regular season. He is a perennial pro bowler and even pops up in the MVP conversation from time to time. But, in the post season, he is a different QB. He looks flustered and makes way too many mistakes. they got whipped in the NFC Championship, and I believe he had 6 turnovers in that game himself. Maybe this is the year he rights the ship. David Johnson proved to be a very good running back last year. He is like a bowling ball. He runs low to the ground, carries tacklers and gains the tough yards. They also have a resurgent Chris Johnson. He looked like his old self at times last year, and that should scare their opponents. The run game in Arizona is solid. Then, they have one of the greatest receivers of all time in Larry Fitzgerald. This guy has done everything and then some for this team. He is the consummate teammate and pro. There is not one bad thing I will say about Larry Fitzgerald, he is great. And if Michael Floyd can stay healthy, they have a great 1-2 punch with him and Fitzgerald. Floyd can stretch the defense with his speed and Fitzgerald does the dirty work. The Cardinals o line is very good. They do an excellent job of pass protecting and they open some huge holes for the run game. Arizona's defense is also very good. They have a great d line, led by Calais Campbell. They can stop the run and sack the QB. They have decent linebackers that are much better run stoppers than cover guys. But they have two of the best secondary players in football in Tyrann Mathieu and Patrick Peterson. I personally think Peterson is the best corner in the game. He always guards the other teams best receiver and he usually shuts them down. He is also an excellent return man. Mathieu is a ball hawk and an extremely hard hitter. He loves to tattoo guys, and he will get some pick sixes and fumble returns for TD's. Being a defender, he has a nose for the end zone. I'm a big Tyrann Mathieu fan. Arizona is the cream of the crop in their division, and I say they win it going away with a 13-3 record.

Now for number one. I have the Carolina Panthers as the best team in football this year. They were the best team last year, and they only got better this offseason. They have one of the best QB's and athletes in the NFL in Cam Newton. Newton is huge, he is fast, he is accurate, he has a rocket arm and he makes the right decision always. Cam Newton is rapidly becoming one of the best QB's in the game. He has no flaws, except for his ego, but that is not a big deal. Then, they have good running backs in Jonathan Stewart and Mike Tolbert. they are both similar in the fact that they are bigger running backs and that they crush would be tacklers. They are great compliments to Newton. Then, the way they got better this offseason, Kelvin Benjamin returns from injury. He is so big and so fast and has excellent hands. He gives Newton the threat he needs on the outside. But, let us not forget Ted Ginn Jr and Devin Funchess and Cory Brown. All these guys stepped up last year in Benjamin's absence, and they all played pretty well. Then, they have Greg Olsen at tight end. He is so good, so durable and so reliable. The dude just puts up numbers and I think he is Cam Newton's favorite target. He gets a lot of red zone attention. The Panthers o line is the best in the NFL. They protect Newton, they open holes, they do everything and they do it all exceptional. This team is lethal on offense. Then on defense, they have some damn good players. Luke Kuechly is one of the best linebackers in the game. He is a sack and tackling machine and he is a very good cover guy. They also have Thomas Davis out there at linebacker, and he is right there with Kuechly is talent. The d line is great. Kawann Short, Kony Ealy and Star Lotulelei wreak havoc in the backfield. The secondary did lose Josh Norman, but they have guys that can do the job. The ageless wonder Cortland Finnegan is back there. And Leonard Johnson and Tre Boston are good secondary players. They are not Josh Norman, but I don't think the Panthers will be too hurt without him. The Panthers are exceptional and they should have won the Super Bowl last year, they just got outplayed. This team may flirt with perfection again, but I say they finish 14-2 and they will have a fairly easy road back to the Super Bowl.

That is my countdown of all 32 NFL teams. Come back tomorrow when I will pick my Super Bowl winner and award winners. And come back Friday for my college football preview.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He remembers the days of ESPN arguing for Blaine Gabbert over Cam Newton as Carolina's number one pick. Those guys at ESPN sure are smart. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Green Bay Repeats as Heart Breakers in the Playoffs

How can a little lake town in Wisconsin make me so sad?

So, we had divisional playoff NFL football this past weekend. All the games went chalk, as expected. Carolina used 31 first half points and thwarted Seattle's comeback in the second half, much to my delight. Denver eeked out a win over the extremely short handed Steelers and New England pretty much dominated Kansas City from start to finish in their game. Then, we had Arizona and Green Bay Saturday night.

Now, I picked Arizona to win the Super Bowl on a recent podcast and blog post. I expected them to throttle the Packers. I'm a Packer fan, as everyone know by now, but I didn't think they stood much of a chance in this game. I didn't think their "offensive outburst" against Washington was a sign that they were turning things around. They beat up on an inferior opponent, that's all that game showed me. And now, they had to face, what I consider to be the best team in the NFL, in Arizona. It was a done deal. Nice season Green Bay, let's get ready for next year.

Then the game happened.

Arizona came out flat. They couldn't do much on offense. Much of that was due to mental mistakes by Carson Palmer, but Green Bay's defense played an almost perfect game. They forced Palmer into bad throws, they shut down Arizona's run game and the secondary had their receivers blanketed, helped tremendously by Sam Shields coming back from a concussion. Now, Green Bay's offense wasn't doing much of anything either, scoring only 6 first half points. But, in the second half, Green Bay finally scored a touchdown and gave themselves a 6 point lead. Arizona would cut it to 3 points later in the third quarter, but Green Bay looked poised to pull off the upset. As I said, Palmer was shaky all game and when Green Bay intercepted him in the end zone for the third time early in the fourth quarter, I started to think they'd get the win. They were doing almost everything right.

Then, Arizona got the ball back with about 7 minutes left and drove down the field and scored an extremely lucky tipped pass touchdown with about 3 minutes to go in the game. I was crushed. What made it worse, Green Bay went for a fourth and five the very next drive, missed it and Arizona converted a field goal to push their lead to 7. There was about 2 minutes left in the game when Green Bay got the ball back, but any hope I had was gone. They'd blown it again I figured.

But, on a fourth and twenty, Jeff Janis, a wide out that had 2 catches all season, hauled in a 60 yard pass play to give the Packers new hope. Then they wasted a whole bunch of time trying to get a play off and they were left with 12 seconds at the 40 yard line. They wasted two plays and now there was 5 seconds left. Hope was gone again. They already converted one hail mary this year, no way were they going to get a second conversion, but then it happened again. Jeff Janis out jumped two Arizona defenders and hauled in a 40 yard touch down to tie the game.

A wave of emotions over took me.

I went from upset to elated in less than 10 seconds. They still had a chance to pull off the upset. They were still alive. Then we had the coin flip that wasn't really a flip and after all that ridiculousness, Arizona won the toss and got the ball. On their first play from scrimmage, the very immobile Carson Palmer eluded three sack attempts and found a wide open Larry Fitzgerald for a 75 yard gain, all the way down to the five yard line. Two plays later, Arizona punched it in and the game was over. Green Bay, once again, lost on the first possession of overtime without even getting a chance on offense.

Two years in a row, Aaron Rodgers, arguably one of the best quarterbacks all time in football, doesn't get a chance to tie or win the game. It happened in Seattle last year and now Arizona this year. The NFL's overtime rules are an absolute joke. It's appalling that, if the first teams scores a touchdown, the other team gets no chance. It's downright idiotic, but that's Roger Goodell for you. They need to completely overhaul their overtime to either mimic the NCAA's overtime, or make it so each team gets a chance on offense with the ball. This sudden death, first touchdown wins thing is total nonsense.

Green Bay also should have never put themselves in these situations either year. They dominated and controlled the entire game in Seattle last year, except for the last 10 minutes and overtime. Green Bay had that game won and they blew it, they flat out lost that game. Seattle didn't win, Green Bay lost. But, they never got a shot in overtime and that sucks too. Same thing Saturday night. Arizona should have never been in that position to push the game to overtime. Green Bay dominated the entire game, for the most part. They shut Arizona down all night. But, when they had a chance to really end it in regulation, Sam Shields dropped a for sure pick 6. The ball went right through his hands. A couple of plays later was the tipped pass touchdown that gave Arizona the lead. Green Bay had the miracle hail mary, but their offense was forced to watch as the Cardinals scored in three short plays in overtime. Their season was over with Rodgers, Janis, Starks, Lacy and Jones sitting on the bench. They never got their shot.

The past two years as a Packers fan have been brutal. They've lost their playoff games in spectacular fashion. It sucks that their offense didn't get a chance, like I said before, the NFL's overtime rules are moronic, but they have also completely blown these games. In a word, being a Packers fan these past couple of years has been heartbreaking. They blow these games that they have in their control and then they don't get a chance in overtime because they give up a quick score and the rules are stupid. It's a shame. I hope they get right this off season because they are still a very talented team and they get Jordy Nelson back next year. I think they need to look at a coaching change, be it their head coach or their coordinators. Sure, Mike McCarthy has won a Super Bowl, but so did Mike Holmgren and when his Packer coached teams started to blow leads and games, they were quick to let him go. I still have high hopes because they still have Aaron Rodgers, Eddie Lacy, James Jones and Jordy Nelson and a decent, young defense, but these blown playoff games are starting to wear on me and give me gray hair.

I love you Green Bay, but I wish you'd stop breaking my heart. Come back strong next year, get big enough leads so you don't have to worry about overtime and win that Super Bowl I predicted you to win this year. Make it fun to be a Packers fan again.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He is looking forward to replacing his Packer and Wolverine heartbreak with a double championship party in 2017. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty's (first) Annual NFL Playoff Predicitions

Playoff football and chili. Must be January

The NFL playoffs start this weekend and I have given a preseason (NFC, AFC, and postseason) and a mid season report, now I want to give a playoff preview and prediction. Both my preseason and mid season picks were way off the mark, I'm looking at you Indianapolis and Green Bay. But, with the playoffs now set, I'd like to give it one more crack, maybe this time I'll do better.

This upcoming Saturday we get the AFC first round playoff matchups between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Houston Texans and the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Cincinnati Bengals. Both these games should be decent, but I think it's pretty obvious who the winners will be. In the Chiefs-Texans game you have one team, the Chiefs, riding a 10 game winning streak. The Texans were in the AFC South, so 9 wins easily made them the division winners. The AFC South is a joke of a division and while the Texans have a pretty good defense, they have zero offense. They've used way too many quarterbacks this year that are all below average NFL starters. They have had no running game since Arian Foster went down for the season and save for Deandre Hopkins, they have no threats in the passing game. Hopkins is great, but if you can hold him to a 6 or 7 catch game, you can pretty easily beat Houston. The Chiefs aren't much better on offense, but they have way better playmakers. Alex Smith is a much better QB than anyone Houston will throw out there. They have struck gold with their backup running backs, Charcandarick West and Spencer Ware, after losing Jamaal Charles to a torn ACL. They also have a receiver that's almost as big a threat as Hopkins in Jeremy Maclin and they have a much better tight end in Travis Kelce. Oh, and there defense is just as good, if not better than the Texans. Sure, JJ Watt may get a couple of sacks, but what will Houston do with the ball on offense and will they be able to totally shut down the Chiefs? I don't think so. The only thing they have as an advantage is, they're playing at home, but that won't matter. Chiefs win by 10, with the final being 20-10. Pittsburgh and Cincinnati could have been a game, if not for the Andy Dalton injury. Cincinnati gets short changed every season. Sometimes it's their fault, other times, injuries derail this team. They have an okey running game with Giovanni Bernard and Jeremy Hill and they have one of the best receivers in the game in AJ Green, but that won't matter with AJ McCarron throwing and handing the ball off. The Bengals defense is top notch, but they have no one that will be able to slow Antonio Brown even a little bit. The Bengals line may stuff the run and even pressure Roethlisberger a bit, but he will still find Brown. Pittsburgh, on the other hand, has an elite offense clicking at the perfect time. They don't have their typical stout defense, but they can and will outscore opponents. I may not like the person, but Ben Roethlisberger is playing elite football right now. And, as I've mentioned before, he has Antonio Brown to throw the ball to. He also has Markus Wheaton, Heath Miller and Martavis Bryant to throw too as well. They lost LeVeon Bell earlier this year and DeAngelo Williams appears to have gotten injured in their finale, so that leaves the running game to Fitz Toussaint, former Michigan running back, but the Steelers don't need to run to win, In fact, I bet they run only 10 to 15 times the whole game. Steelers win in Cincy, crushing the Bengals playoff dreams in the first round once again, final score of 28-14. 

This Sunday we get the NFC first round matchups of Green Bay and Washington and Seattle and Minnesota. Both should be good, hard fought, close games. Green Bay travels to Washington to face the DC team on a roll right now. Whoever thought Kirk Cousins would be this good is a god damn liar. They have an okay run game, but they like to throw and they play some solid defense. Green Bay is a total enigma. They can never seem to get it going until it's too late, or they play to their ability and they blow out inferior opponents. Green Bay cannot protect Rodgers, their run game is non existent at times, but can also be great and their receivers can't get open, or if they do it's too late because Rodgers got sacked. Rodgers deserves a lot of the blame too for those sacks. Sometimes, when he does get good protection, he just holds on to the ball for way too long. Green Bay's defense is sub par at best. One week they totally shut a team down, the next, they give up big plays This is a total toss up, but I'll take Green Bay because of experience in big games. Washington's players haven't really been in big time playoff games and Green Bay and Aaron Rodgers have. Maybe I'm blinded by my fandom, but so be it. Green Bay wins 17-14. In the other game we get Minnesota and Seattle. Everyone and their mother is back on Seattle's bandwagon, but not me. I have to give credit to Bill Simmons for this, I was listening to his podcast this morning, and reminded me that the Seahawks just lost, only scoring 10 points at home to the Rams 2 weeks ago. Everyone wants to forget that because Russell Wilson has been putting up big numbers and their defense is playing better, but the Rams went to Seattle and owned them. The Vikings are a better version of the Rams. They have a better QB, receivers and a better, albeit a child abuser, running back. Their defense isn't as good as the Rams, but it's still good. The game is in Minnesota at noon as well. That means in Seattle, it's 10am. I know that doesn't sound like an advantage, but it is. I truly believe that Minnesota can replicate what the Rams did even better and I think they win this game. That would be great so everyone, including Chris Collinsworth, can shut the hell up about how great the Seahawks are. I'll take the Vikings in a very low scoring game, 14-10.

The following week we'd get the second round games in each conference. The four teams that had byes will all be in play and the big time games start happening. In the AFC the matchups will be Chiefs-Broncos and Steelers-Patriots. The Broncos will lose this game if they start Peyton Manning. Sure, he came in relief last week and they won, but it was their run game and their number one ranked defense that won, not Peyton Manning. Brock Osweiler deserves his shot. The Chiefs are good, as I mentioned above, but I cannot trust Andy Reid to win a big time playoff game on the road, I just can't. The Broncos have a stable of running backs, they have DeMaryius Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders to throw to and they have the best defense in all of football. I don't see how they lose this game, unless they rely on Peyton Manning to make plays. He's a Hall of Famer, but he's done. Let your young QB start, rely on the run game and let your top of the line defense send you to the AFC title game. Broncos win 20-13. The Patriots-Steelers game will be interesting. Pittsburgh is elite offensively, but so is New England, if healthy. They have Gronk, Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola and a rejuvenated Steven Jackson on offense. But, their O line is very bad and are Gronk, Edelman and Amendola really healthy. Also, Brady took a hit in the Miami game, so who knows if he'll be one hundred percent. Neither of these teams are great on defense, but the Patriots are better. That won't matter because no one can guard Antonio Brown. Sorry New England, but the Steelers will steal this game in Foxborough and head to the AFC title game. Final score, 35-30.

The NFC will feature Green Bay-Carolina and Minnesota-Arizona. Carolina is on fire right now. They're 15-1, they have the MVP in Cam Newton, they have decent and very tall receivers and they have a pretty great defense. They also control the clock with their elite run game. Green Bay is a sitting duck. They've already been beaten once by Carolina this year, one of two teams with a winning record that Carolina has beaten, and they have not learned a thing from that game. Green Bay's season will end and it won't be pretty. Cam Newton is playing fantastic football and they will grind this game out and walk away with an easy victory. Carolina wins 20-7. Arizona and Minnesota will also be a blow out. Arizona has a better defense, a better QB, an equally as good run game and much, much better receivers. Carson Palmer in the runner up MVP and playing some of the best football of his career. Larry Fitzgerald has morphed into the best blocking receiver and best slot guy in all of football. David Johnson has filled in quite nicely for Chris Johnson and Andre Ellington and their offensive line is the best in the NFL. Minnesota had a good run, but it ends in resounding fashion in Arizona. Cardinals win 35-10.

Now we are down to four teams. In the AFC championship we have Denver-Pittsburgh. One relies on offese, the other on defense. Denver has some great corners capable of shutting down Antonio Brown, but I feel like typical Broncos will show up and blow this game. They should win easily. They can rely on their run game to chew clock and keep Pittsburgh offense off the field, but John Elway, Gary Kubiak and Peyton Manning will try to win with Manning being the hero and it will back fire. This game will be close, but Pittsburgh will pull it out and win 27-20. Arizona and Carolina could be a close game, but it won't. Carolina will finally see up close and personal what a real NFL team looks like, with a real offense and a legit defense. They will shut Newton down, they will force them to pass and that will cause turnovers. On offense, Arizona will do whatever it wants. This will be a runaway for the Cardinals. Arizona wins 38-14.

So that leaves us with a Pittsburgh-Arizona rematch in Super Bowl 50. Arizona has the one corner, Patrick Peterson, that can actually give Brown some trouble. They also have an offense that will light up a weak Pittsburgh defense. This game also has the makings of a blowout. I think it will be close until midway through the third quarter and Arizona will run away with the game. Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald will finally get their rings and Bruce Arians will be recognized as one of the best coaches in the NFL. Cardinals roll to a Super Bowl win, final score 35-20.

I feel good about this one.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He is working on a fifth alarm for his big game four alarm chili. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.