Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Perfectly Cooked Porterhouse Edition
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Now, for the final four. I legitimately believe, nor would I be surprised, if any one of these teams won the Super Bowl. Hell, two of the final four may end up playing each other. These teams are the best of the best. They have the best players, the best offenses, the best defenses, they have it all. These the elite.
At number 4, I have the defending Super Bowl champs, the Denver Broncos. The Broncos defense is so incredibly good, but since I've started with offense the whole preview, I'm not going to change now. Sure, Peyton Manning retired, and sure, he is a first ballot hall of famer, but he was the not the reason the Broncos won the Super Bowl. He played very, very poorly last year. They won in spite of him. Now that he is gone, they do have a question at QB. They traded for Mark Sanchez, why would anyone do that, and they have Trevor Simien on the roster, but he wasn't even good enough to be the primary QB at Northwestern, but they did draft a QB, Paxton Lynch. I wasn't high on any of the QB's in this draft, but Lynch is one of the taller ones, he has an okay arm, and he can run. But, the Broncos don't need an all world QB, they just need a game manager. I'm sure Sanchez will start the season as QB 1, but I bet by week 4 or 5, Lynch will be in there. The Broncos running game was supposed to be good last year, but it was non existent. CJ Anderson and Ronnie Tillman were supposed to be a great 1-2 punch, but neither of them did much of anything. They were mediocre last year, but I expect some kind of bounce back. The Broncos do have great receivers. Emmanuel Sanders and Demaryius Thomas are both great, even though Thomas drops a lot of balls, but they don't have a good QB throwing to them. They will get open, but will the QB, whoever it is, get the ball to them. The o line is just fine at pass blocking, but their run blocking needs to get better. Now, where the Broncos shine is defense. They are one of the best defenses in the history of football. They absolutely stifled the Patriots and Panthers on their way to the title last year. Von Miller is probably the best linebacker in football. He is a great pass rusher, run stopper and can cover. He is the total package. They lost Danny Treveathan, but that won't hurt them that much. When Aqib Talib isn't getting into mysterious bar fights, he is a great shut down corner. He plays dirty, but he has found a way to get away with it. Bradley Roby is a ball hawk. If he has a chance at a pick or a fumble recovery, he will get there. He is always in the right place at the right time. DeMarcus Ware is a beast off the edge. He is unblockable, and the best thing for him was getting out of Dallas and going to Denver. And TJ Ward and Chris Harris are exceptional defensive backs. The Broncos defense is loaded, and they will once again carry the to a division title and a deep playoff run. I think they finish 12-4.
At number 3, I have the New England Patriots. I know that Tom Brady is suspended for 4 games, but they won when he got hurt and Matt Cassell was the QB. Jimmy Garrappolo is better than Matt Cassel. He will keep them afloat until Brady gets back, and when he does get back, Brady will be on a mission. Goodell poked the bear, and the rest of the NFL is going to suffer for it. The Patriots don't have much of a running game, which is their Achilles heel. Dion Lewis and Legarrette Blount are fine, but they are not even middle of the field in the NFL. But, the Patriots have receivers all over the field, and they have the best weapon in all of the NFL in Gronk. Yeah, Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola and Chris Hogan are fine. But, Gronk is the man. He catches everything, he is unguardable, he is the best red zone threat in all of the football and he is the biggest and fastest player to ever play his position. They also got Martellus Bennett to pair with him as well. That will be deadly. The Patriots o line needs work, but the speed that Brady gets the ball out of his hand, that neutralizes any deficiencies I think they have. The Patriots defense is serviceable. The can get stops when they need to and they can get pressure. I know Rob Ninkovich just got hurt, but he will be back by October. They did sign Chris Long this offseason. That was a huge, yet very quiet singing. Chris Long is awesome. They still have Malcolm Butler, and he is a very good corner. Jamie Collins and Dont'a Hightower are still roaming the linebacker duties, and they are both good. The Patriots, as they have been the entire 21st century are good. They may not miss Brady all that much for the first four games, and when he comes back, look out, he will be on a mission to destroy. I say they split the first four games, then win 11 of the next 12 and finish at 13-3.
At number 2, I have the Arizona Cardinals. This is the Cardinals last chance with this team to make a deep run, but they have the talent to do just that on both sides of the ball. Carson Palmer is a very good regular season QB. He puts up big numbers and plays very well, during the regular season. He is a perennial pro bowler and even pops up in the MVP conversation from time to time. But, in the post season, he is a different QB. He looks flustered and makes way too many mistakes. they got whipped in the NFC Championship, and I believe he had 6 turnovers in that game himself. Maybe this is the year he rights the ship. David Johnson proved to be a very good running back last year. He is like a bowling ball. He runs low to the ground, carries tacklers and gains the tough yards. They also have a resurgent Chris Johnson. He looked like his old self at times last year, and that should scare their opponents. The run game in Arizona is solid. Then, they have one of the greatest receivers of all time in Larry Fitzgerald. This guy has done everything and then some for this team. He is the consummate teammate and pro. There is not one bad thing I will say about Larry Fitzgerald, he is great. And if Michael Floyd can stay healthy, they have a great 1-2 punch with him and Fitzgerald. Floyd can stretch the defense with his speed and Fitzgerald does the dirty work. The Cardinals o line is very good. They do an excellent job of pass protecting and they open some huge holes for the run game. Arizona's defense is also very good. They have a great d line, led by Calais Campbell. They can stop the run and sack the QB. They have decent linebackers that are much better run stoppers than cover guys. But they have two of the best secondary players in football in Tyrann Mathieu and Patrick Peterson. I personally think Peterson is the best corner in the game. He always guards the other teams best receiver and he usually shuts them down. He is also an excellent return man. Mathieu is a ball hawk and an extremely hard hitter. He loves to tattoo guys, and he will get some pick sixes and fumble returns for TD's. Being a defender, he has a nose for the end zone. I'm a big Tyrann Mathieu fan. Arizona is the cream of the crop in their division, and I say they win it going away with a 13-3 record.
Now for number one. I have the Carolina Panthers as the best team in football this year. They were the best team last year, and they only got better this offseason. They have one of the best QB's and athletes in the NFL in Cam Newton. Newton is huge, he is fast, he is accurate, he has a rocket arm and he makes the right decision always. Cam Newton is rapidly becoming one of the best QB's in the game. He has no flaws, except for his ego, but that is not a big deal. Then, they have good running backs in Jonathan Stewart and Mike Tolbert. they are both similar in the fact that they are bigger running backs and that they crush would be tacklers. They are great compliments to Newton. Then, the way they got better this offseason, Kelvin Benjamin returns from injury. He is so big and so fast and has excellent hands. He gives Newton the threat he needs on the outside. But, let us not forget Ted Ginn Jr and Devin Funchess and Cory Brown. All these guys stepped up last year in Benjamin's absence, and they all played pretty well. Then, they have Greg Olsen at tight end. He is so good, so durable and so reliable. The dude just puts up numbers and I think he is Cam Newton's favorite target. He gets a lot of red zone attention. The Panthers o line is the best in the NFL. They protect Newton, they open holes, they do everything and they do it all exceptional. This team is lethal on offense. Then on defense, they have some damn good players. Luke Kuechly is one of the best linebackers in the game. He is a sack and tackling machine and he is a very good cover guy. They also have Thomas Davis out there at linebacker, and he is right there with Kuechly is talent. The d line is great. Kawann Short, Kony Ealy and Star Lotulelei wreak havoc in the backfield. The secondary did lose Josh Norman, but they have guys that can do the job. The ageless wonder Cortland Finnegan is back there. And Leonard Johnson and Tre Boston are good secondary players. They are not Josh Norman, but I don't think the Panthers will be too hurt without him. The Panthers are exceptional and they should have won the Super Bowl last year, they just got outplayed. This team may flirt with perfection again, but I say they finish 14-2 and they will have a fairly easy road back to the Super Bowl.
That is my countdown of all 32 NFL teams. Come back tomorrow when I will pick my Super Bowl winner and award winners. And come back Friday for my college football preview.
Ty
Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He remembers the days of ESPN arguing for Blaine Gabbert over Cam Newton as Carolina's number one pick. Those guys at ESPN sure are smart. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.
