Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Perfectly Cooked Porterhouse Edition

Now, for the final four. I legitimately believe, nor would I be surprised, if any one of these teams won the Super Bowl. Hell, two of the final four may end up playing each other. These teams are the best of the best. They have the best players, the best offenses, the best defenses, they have it all. These the elite.

At number 4, I have the defending Super Bowl champs, the Denver Broncos. The Broncos defense is so incredibly good, but since I've started with offense the whole preview, I'm not going to change now. Sure, Peyton Manning retired, and sure, he is a first ballot hall of famer, but he was the not the reason the Broncos won the Super Bowl. He played very, very poorly last year. They won in spite of him. Now that he is gone, they do have a question at QB. They traded for Mark Sanchez, why would anyone do that, and they have Trevor Simien on the roster, but he wasn't even good enough to be the primary QB at Northwestern, but they did draft a QB, Paxton Lynch. I wasn't high on any of the QB's in this draft, but Lynch is one of the taller ones, he has an okay arm, and he can run. But, the Broncos don't need an all world QB, they just need a game manager. I'm sure Sanchez will start the season as QB 1, but I bet by week 4 or 5, Lynch will be in there. The Broncos running game was supposed to be good last year, but it was non existent. CJ Anderson and Ronnie Tillman were supposed to be a great 1-2 punch, but neither of them did much of anything. They were mediocre last year, but I expect some kind of bounce back. The Broncos do have great receivers. Emmanuel Sanders and Demaryius Thomas are both great, even though Thomas drops a lot of balls, but they don't have a good QB throwing to them. They will get open, but will the QB, whoever it is, get the ball to them. The o line is just fine at pass blocking, but their run blocking needs to get better. Now, where the Broncos shine is defense. They are one of the best defenses in the history of football. They absolutely stifled the Patriots and Panthers on their way to the title last year. Von Miller is probably the best linebacker in football. He is a great pass rusher, run stopper and can cover. He is the total package. They lost Danny Treveathan, but that won't hurt them that much. When Aqib Talib isn't getting into mysterious bar fights, he is a great shut down corner. He plays dirty, but he has found a way to get away with it. Bradley Roby is a ball hawk. If he has a chance at a pick or a fumble recovery, he will get there. He is always in the right place at the right time. DeMarcus Ware is a beast off the edge. He is unblockable, and the best thing for him was getting out of Dallas and going to Denver. And TJ Ward and Chris Harris are exceptional defensive backs. The Broncos defense is loaded, and they will once again carry the to a division title and a deep playoff run. I think they finish 12-4.

At number 3, I have the New England Patriots. I know that Tom Brady is suspended for 4 games, but they won when he got hurt and Matt Cassell was the QB. Jimmy Garrappolo is better than Matt Cassel. He will keep them afloat until Brady gets back, and when he does get back, Brady will be on a mission. Goodell poked the bear, and the rest of the NFL is going to suffer for it. The Patriots don't have much of a running game, which is their Achilles heel. Dion Lewis and Legarrette Blount are fine, but they are not even middle of the field in the NFL. But, the Patriots have receivers all over the field, and they have the best weapon in all of the NFL in Gronk. Yeah, Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola and Chris Hogan are fine. But, Gronk is the man. He catches everything, he is unguardable, he is the best red zone threat in all of the football and he is the biggest and fastest player to ever play his position. They also got Martellus Bennett to pair with him as well. That will be deadly. The Patriots o line needs work, but the speed that Brady gets the ball out of his hand, that neutralizes any deficiencies I think they have. The Patriots defense is serviceable. The can get stops when they need to and they can get pressure. I know Rob Ninkovich just got hurt, but he will be back by October. They did sign Chris Long this offseason. That was a huge, yet very quiet singing. Chris Long is awesome. They still have Malcolm Butler, and he is a very good corner. Jamie Collins and Dont'a Hightower are still roaming the linebacker duties, and they are both good. The Patriots, as they have been the entire 21st century are good. They may not miss Brady all that much for the first four games, and when he comes back, look out, he will be on a mission to destroy. I say they split the first four games, then win 11 of the next 12 and finish at 13-3.

At number 2, I have the Arizona Cardinals. This is the Cardinals last chance with this team to make a deep run, but they have the talent to do just that on both sides of the ball. Carson Palmer is a very good regular season QB. He puts up big numbers and plays very well, during the regular season. He is a perennial pro bowler and even pops up in the MVP conversation from time to time. But, in the post season, he is a different QB. He looks flustered and makes way too many mistakes. they got whipped in the NFC Championship, and I believe he had 6 turnovers in that game himself. Maybe this is the year he rights the ship. David Johnson proved to be a very good running back last year. He is like a bowling ball. He runs low to the ground, carries tacklers and gains the tough yards. They also have a resurgent Chris Johnson. He looked like his old self at times last year, and that should scare their opponents. The run game in Arizona is solid. Then, they have one of the greatest receivers of all time in Larry Fitzgerald. This guy has done everything and then some for this team. He is the consummate teammate and pro. There is not one bad thing I will say about Larry Fitzgerald, he is great. And if Michael Floyd can stay healthy, they have a great 1-2 punch with him and Fitzgerald. Floyd can stretch the defense with his speed and Fitzgerald does the dirty work. The Cardinals o line is very good. They do an excellent job of pass protecting and they open some huge holes for the run game. Arizona's defense is also very good. They have a great d line, led by Calais Campbell. They can stop the run and sack the QB. They have decent linebackers that are much better run stoppers than cover guys. But they have two of the best secondary players in football in Tyrann Mathieu and Patrick Peterson. I personally think Peterson is the best corner in the game. He always guards the other teams best receiver and he usually shuts them down. He is also an excellent return man. Mathieu is a ball hawk and an extremely hard hitter. He loves to tattoo guys, and he will get some pick sixes and fumble returns for TD's. Being a defender, he has a nose for the end zone. I'm a big Tyrann Mathieu fan. Arizona is the cream of the crop in their division, and I say they win it going away with a 13-3 record.

Now for number one. I have the Carolina Panthers as the best team in football this year. They were the best team last year, and they only got better this offseason. They have one of the best QB's and athletes in the NFL in Cam Newton. Newton is huge, he is fast, he is accurate, he has a rocket arm and he makes the right decision always. Cam Newton is rapidly becoming one of the best QB's in the game. He has no flaws, except for his ego, but that is not a big deal. Then, they have good running backs in Jonathan Stewart and Mike Tolbert. they are both similar in the fact that they are bigger running backs and that they crush would be tacklers. They are great compliments to Newton. Then, the way they got better this offseason, Kelvin Benjamin returns from injury. He is so big and so fast and has excellent hands. He gives Newton the threat he needs on the outside. But, let us not forget Ted Ginn Jr and Devin Funchess and Cory Brown. All these guys stepped up last year in Benjamin's absence, and they all played pretty well. Then, they have Greg Olsen at tight end. He is so good, so durable and so reliable. The dude just puts up numbers and I think he is Cam Newton's favorite target. He gets a lot of red zone attention. The Panthers o line is the best in the NFL. They protect Newton, they open holes, they do everything and they do it all exceptional. This team is lethal on offense. Then on defense, they have some damn good players. Luke Kuechly is one of the best linebackers in the game. He is a sack and tackling machine and he is a very good cover guy. They also have Thomas Davis out there at linebacker, and he is right there with Kuechly is talent. The d line is great. Kawann Short, Kony Ealy and Star Lotulelei wreak havoc in the backfield. The secondary did lose Josh Norman, but they have guys that can do the job. The ageless wonder Cortland Finnegan is back there. And Leonard Johnson and Tre Boston are good secondary players. They are not Josh Norman, but I don't think the Panthers will be too hurt without him. The Panthers are exceptional and they should have won the Super Bowl last year, they just got outplayed. This team may flirt with perfection again, but I say they finish 14-2 and they will have a fairly easy road back to the Super Bowl.

That is my countdown of all 32 NFL teams. Come back tomorrow when I will pick my Super Bowl winner and award winners. And come back Friday for my college football preview.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He remembers the days of ESPN arguing for Blaine Gabbert over Cam Newton as Carolina's number one pick. Those guys at ESPN sure are smart. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Denver's Defense Would not Allow Peyton Manning to Lose the Super Bowl

It was better to shut your eyes than to watch the offense in Super Bowl 50

Last night Super Bowl 50 was played and once again, my prediction was wrong. 

Sorry Carolina Panthers fans for jinxing your team.

I, along with almost every other sports prognosticators, was certain that Carolina would win. I thought it was going to be close, but I thought Carolina, and more importantly Cam Newton, would be able to pull through in the clutch. Carolina has the better athletes and the better team, at least that's what I thought.

I did not think that Denver's defense would live up to the moment once again. They harassed Tom Brady all game during the AFC title game and they did the same thing to Cam Newton last night in the Super Bowl. This is what took me by surprise. Constantly getting pressure on Tom Brady seemed easy. New England's offensive line was atrocious all season, Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola weren't 100 percent and Tom Brady is a very immobile QB. I assumed Cam Newton would be able to evade pressure pretty easily last night. I was extremely wrong. Newton's line gave him plenty of time, but all his receivers were blanketed all game and he held the ball much to long. Also, Damarcus Ware and Von Miller were getting to him fairly regularly.

This just wasn't the game that I thought it would be. It was one of the worst offensive performances by two teams, in any football game, let alone the Super Bowl, that I have ever witnessed. I assumed the Broncos would stall on offense most of the game. Peyton Manning is past his prime, their run game has been hit or miss all season and their receivers routinely drop passes. Carolina though, they have been running rough shot through good defenses in the regular season and the playoffs. They seemed to score at least 30 points every game. They don't have the best receivers in the NFL, not by a long shot and their running game is sub par, but they have the best QB in the NFL. Cam Newton won the MVP. I just figured he would will this team to a victory, like he has all season long. But, as I mentioned before, the Broncos defense made his life miserable all game. They constantly hit him. On designed QB runs, Denver always had two or three guys gang tackling Newton. They didn't give Newton's favorite target and safety blanket, Greg Olsen, any space. I think he only had two catches the entire game. What it all boils down to, Carolina laid an egg on offense, but I think it was due to how great of a defense Denver had this year. Everyone, myself included, kind of thought that Denver's defense was okay, but if they had to face a mobile QB like Newton, they'd be exposed. My belief in Cam Newton was so strong, I just assumed he would find a way to win this game for his team. But, that Denver defense just wouldn't allow it.

This brings me to my main point today, this 2015-2016 Denver defense is the greatest defense that I've ever watched. I know Seattle had a great defense, that destroyed pretty much the same Broncos team in Super Bowl 48, but they don't even come close to how great this Denver defense was this year, especially in the playoffs. The Ravens had a really good defense the year they won the title, but I feel like their numbers were inflated by playing a much inferior Giants team in their Super Bowl win. Some other teams in recent history have had good defenses, the Ravens again when they beat the 49ers, The Colts team that beat the Bears, hell, even the Packers defense when they beat the Steelers was in the top 10 of the league, but none of them compare to Denver. Now, I was only 3 years old and I only know them from stories and old NFL Films shows on ESPN, but I feel like this Denver defense is right up there with the 1985 Bears defense. You know the one I'm talking about, the one with William "The Refrigerator" Perry, Ron Rivera, coach of the Panthers last night, Richard Dent and Mike Singletary, among many others. They are the supposed "greatest defense" of all time. Now, this may be blasphemy, or just my age, but I feel like this Broncos defense is a better defense than the 85 Bears.

Hear me out Generation Xers and Baby Boomers.

The 85 Bears were dominant, but they had a very competent offense to go along with their legendary defense. Sure, Jim McMahon is not the best QB to play in the NFL, but at that time, he was better than Peyton Manning was last night. They also had Walter Payton. No way are CJ Anderson and Ronnie Hillman even close to being on Walter Payton's planet. They had good receivers and tight ends that weren't used a lot, but they didn't need to be because they had Walter god damn Payton. This Broncos defense had to win games for them this year. Sure, if the 85 Bears offense gave their defense 14, it was a done deal, but for this Broncos team to win, they needed scores from their defense, because their offense sure as hell wasn't performing at any level. Peyton Manning is an all time great, but near the end of that game, while it was still a one score game at 16-10, Gary Kubiak and the offensive staff of the Broncos did not trust him to throw the ball. They would rather run it three times, gain 6 or 7 yards and punt it away and let their defense do their magnificent work. And that defense delivered with flying colors.

Anytime Carolina looked like they may grab some kind of moment, Denver would come up with a sack, a fumble of a tipped pass on third down to force a punt. They did this all throughout the playoffs. When the Steelers had the ball, driving to salt the game away, boom, fumble recovered by Denver that leads to a game winning field goal. Two weeks ago against the Patriots, they made Brady look like a mediocre QB and shut all their weapons down. Sure, Gronk had over 100 yards receiving, but 90 of that came on two plays. Denver won that game because of their shut down defense. And then last night, against the best offense, by a wide margin, in the NFL, they held them to 10 points and just barely over 200 yards total offense. They even scored a TD for the team on a strip sack. Von Miller and Damarcus Ware looked like the future Hall of Famers that they will be all game last night, especially Miller. Miller had 6 tackles, 2.5 sacks and 2 forced fumbles, the first leading to a TD. He was a man amongst boys last night. He's a free agent going onto this off season and his performance last night is going to make him a very, very rich man. I was so glad that they gave him the Super Bowl MVP too.

I was petrified, literally, that they'd give it to Peyton Manning because that's what jackasses like Phil Simms and especially Jim Nantz and the majority of the people watching last night wanted to happen. They so badly wanted Manning to be the guy to will this team to the win, but he did next to nothing in the game. He was under 50 percent completion, he passes looked slow and downright bad, he had happy feet all night and he looked scared. His team didn't even have faith in him to throw in the 4th quarter, as I said before. The run game wasn't really there either, so CJ Anderson and Ronnie Hillman were out of the MVP talk quick. But, the deserving player got it. Von Miller and the Broncos defense won that Super Bowl, no ifs ands or buts about it.

This game will go down as one of the most ugly offensive performances of all time, but that Broncos defense is legit. To me, they are the greatest defense of all time. But, the unfortunate thing, no one will remember them because this was probably Peyton Manning's last game. That's all the sports media will remember and that is a travesty. We just witnessed the greatest defensive playoff run of all time, but the casual fan will only remember it being Peyton's last game. That is a shame. The true football fan will realize we just witnessed greatness, but that's only about 25 percent of the population.

So yeah, good for you Peyton, you were part of the team that may go down as having the best defense of all time, but no one will remember how truly remarkable this defense was because you were on that team and you are the "star" player. But, I say congrats to the Denver defense. You guys were the ones that made this Super Bowl win possible and I will remember this game for your dominating performance. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He wants to welcome Peyton Manning to the club of bad quarterbacks on winning Super Bowl teams. Trent Dilfer and Jeff Hostetler will pour you a drink. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.