Ty Watches, and Loves, "Uncle Drew"

I finally saw the movie "Uncle Drew", and I absolutely loved it.

Now, before I get blasted for liking this movie so much I want to say that, I know it was not your traditional good movie. It was cheesy and hokey and crony and silly and a whole lot of fun. I read some reviews after I watched it, and for the writers saying it "lacked realism", or "was filled with non actors" or "clearly a kids movie", I have to say, shut the hell up. We all know that it wasn't real. I mean, the movie was based off a Pepsi commercial that first appeared like 5 years ago. It was all made as a joke. This was a vehicle for Kyrie Irving to dress up in old man makeup and school young basketball players on famous street ball courts.

As far as the kids movie thing, so what. A lot of great movies are "kid" movies. I had "Teen Titans Go! To the Movies" as one of my top movies of 2018. That is a kids movie. So are some classics like "Toys", "Wall-E", "The Mighty Ducks", "The Lion King", "Bambi", I could go on and on and on. But the difference, the critics all loved the childish nature of the other movies I just mentioned, yet they trash "Uncle Drew". It makes me so upset that this new age of movie critics, most of them are younger than me, have no imagination. Now I know that I have been called out for a lack of imagination because I don't like the TV show "PJ Masks", but that critique I wrote was in jest. I was just tired of watching that god damn show. I know my kids love it, and I know it is goofy, but it is also a cartoon. "Uncle Drew" is not a cartoon, so the younger critics feel like they need to knock it down a few pegs. What they really need to do is chill the hell out.

The thing that irked me the most was the whole, "there's no real actors in the movie". First off, Lil Rel Howery is a great comedic actor. I enjoyed every second of him in this movie. Tiffany Haddsih is also great, and she has become somewhat of a critical darling. Nick Kroll is funny as hell. But I think what the major critics were trying to do was call out Kyrie Irving, Chris Webber, Nate Robinson, Lisa Leslie, Reggie Miller, and to a lesser extent, Shaquille O'Neal. But my major blowback to the people that said "no real actors", no shit. These guys are former pros, or current pro basketball players, and now some of them do commentary. Like I said at the top, this whole movie was based around a commercial where Irving clowns other basketball players while dressed as an old man. "Uncle Drew" wasn't going to be awards bait. It wasn't made to teach a real lesson. It wasn't going to be a coming out party for anyone in it. It was made because it was fun. It was also made for people who truly love the game of basketball.

Take away the smaller stuff I really enjoyed about the movie, the preacher and church scene with Webber and Leslie is great, the stuff with Shaq was hilarious, as I said before, Lil Rel was excellent. But, the pure basketball, and the love for the game of basketball was front and center. I think that is why I love this movie so much. I feel like it was made specifically for someone like me. Someone that likes old school basketball mixed with new school. Someone that likes to hear actors say lines like, "that is why I still play, because I love the game", or, "you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take", or when Shaq calls Irving "KOBE" at one point because he won't pass the ball, or when Lisa Leslie destroys people with her inside game. It was so much fun to see the best of the best show their stuff. The basketball in this movie was pure. It was akin to the football in a movie like "Friday Night Lights", or the baseball in "Major League". It looked and felt real. I assume they really were playing, and I love that.

"Uncle Drew" is a fun movie that is pure joy for big time basketball fans. I applaud Irving and Webber and Reggie Miller and Nate Robinson and Shaq and Lisa Leslie for going 110 percent and totally buying into their roles. I love this movie so much. My hat is off to "Uncle Drew".

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. When it comes to movies about basketball, Ty will also defend “Eddie”, and “Like Mike”. He will not defend “Juwanna Man”. Ty does have some limits to the basketball movies he likes.

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Ty Watches "Tour de Pharmacy"

There are spoilers for the HBO film "Tour de Pharmacy". Go watch and come back to read Ty's review. It is currently showing on HBO Go, HBO Now, and periodically showing on one of HBO's family of channels at some time of the day.

This past weekend The Lonely Island and HBO released their second sports based faux documentary/comedy, "Tour de Pharmacy". I loved the first one, "7 Days in Hell", so I was excited for this second movie. When I say movie, I use that term loosely. This is basically a short. The "movie" runs about 35 minutes long. This is perfect for this subject material, and an excellent amount of time for what is basically a long form sketch.

Anyway, "Tour de Pharmacy" tells the "true" story of the 1982 Tour de France. This was the most drug riddled race in the history of bike races, according to the narrator, Jon Hamm. We all know now that, for the most part, the guys that do the Tour de France are dopers. It is widely accepted. "Tour de Pharmacy" takes this knowledge and makes it the entire basis of the movie.

Early in the program we find out that a rich German guy named Dittmer Klerken, played hilariously by Kevin Bacon, writes a letter to all 170 racers saying that they can do whatever drugs they want and they won't be tested, if they give him 50,000 dollars a piece. Klerken had built up incredible credit card debt due to a very absurd credit card ad in Sweden. The scene with the ad was probably my favorite part of the entire movie. It was so bizarre and odd and the talking heads comments on it were hilarious. If you watch this movie for one reason, make it to see the part with the ad. It was uproarious.

After the ad shows, they cut to the racers. They introduce us to 5 specific riders at the beginning. The first is Nigerian born racer, Marty Hass. He was played by Andy Samberg. Hass was born into a royal family that just happened to mine diamonds in Nigeria. They say that he went to an all American boys private school, and the people of Nigeria hate him. They hate that he is their country's representative. He is the epitome of a spoiled rich kid, and Samberg plays him hilariously. Another great part of this movie is they have the main characters as their older selves, and the actors that portray the older versions are perfect. Jeff Goldblum plays the older Hass. He is so god damn funny. He has some fake blonde hair hanging out of his hat and he wears African coats the whole time. Goldblum is just as funny as Samberg.

We also meet the first female, posing as a male, to ride in the tour. Freddie Highmore plays the young version of Adrian Baton. He was hilarious. His attempts to act like a female acting like a male was classic Lonely Island stuff. Julia Ormond played the older, and real, Baton, and she was equally as funny. She is a classically trained dramatic actress, but she pulls off the comedy to perfection. Her reveal at the end is wonderful.

Next up is Jackie Robinson's nephew, Slim Robinson, who is trying to get out of his uncle's shadow. He wants to be the first African American to break the color barrier, and at the time, cycling was the only sport that did not have many, if any, people of color. Daveed Diggs, of "Hamilton" and "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" fame is terrific in this movie. He is so funny, but understated. Danny Glover as the older Slim was equally tremendous. His wig is absolutely bananas. I loved it.

John Cena plays Austrian cyclist, Gustav Ditters, and he may have been the best in the whole movie. They show a picture from him the year before and he is rail skinny, then they show the actual Cena, and he is ripped. His claims that he isn't doping are so funny. The fact that he is that shredded, but constantly denies doping, is awesome. When the big fight breaks out in the first stage, and Cena starts to beat the hell out of people, I was in tears. Dolph Lundgren plays the older Ditters, and the whole "cheetah" and "cheater" scene is comedic gold.

The final main cyclist, JuJu Peppi, played by Orlando Bloom, was classic cycling cheater. He had so many drugs in his body that he actually died during the race due to a heart attack. Unfortunately for Peppi, he died while going pee, so his member was out when he died. There is a ton of male frontal nudity in this movie by the way. I have to say, while I don't like Bloom as an actor, he was really good in this movie.

The reason there are only 5 riders left is due to the fight I mentioned earlier. After the fight broke out, many of the riders came forward and said they were paid to not tell anyone that they were doping, and Klerken was the one that paid them. The only riders to not pay him were the 5 main characters, or as Seth Morris' ESPN anchor dubs them, "The Fab Five", claiming no one else will live up to that nickname ever. This was when we get a mini interview with Chris Webber and underneath his name it days, "a member of the much more famous Fab Five". Again, I was cracking up.

Lots of funny and wacky stuff happens during the race. I mentioned Peppi's death. Ditters get caught with cheetah blood, thus setting off the whole cheetah and cheater scene. Hass and Baton start to fall in love. Slim leaves the race to go be a farmer in France, only to return in the end. James Marsden, who was incredible as the announcer for the BBC, is involved in the race, but it is later found out that he is using a bike with a car motor on it, and Baton throws herself onto him to help her new lover, Hass, win the race. Just tons of crazy, hilarious stuff.

The people that they got to be the talking heads in the movie were phenomenal as well. Maya Rudolph is the head of a cycling magazine. She is great. Nathan Fielder is the head of the anti doping committee and he brings his dry humor to this movie, and it is pitch perfect. Joe Buck is himself, and he is really good. Mike Tyson and Lance Armstrong, both people that have done truly awful things in their personal lives, were actually pretty good in this movie. Lance Armstrong was pretty funny. Mike Tyson was a riot. JJ Abrams was pretty tremendous in his small role, as himself too. He plays a heightened version of himself, and I found him to be pretty good.

The entire cast was phenomenal for this small movie. The star, at least in my opinion, was Cena. He was the funniest of all the funny people in this movie. I have found that I enjoy Cena as an actor. Diggs was also really good too. Watching him try to get out of Jackie Robinson's shadow was just great. Jeff Goldblum was also really funny as well.

What I am trying to say is that "Tour de Pharmacy" was incredibly funny and I highly recommend everyone watch it. The Lonely Island seem to have found another niche that fits them, and I hope they continue to do little movies like this. "7 Days in Hell" was great, "Tour de Pharmacy" was better. I can't wait to see what they do next. Until then, go watch "Tour de Pharmacy" if you want a good laugh.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He recently competed his first mini triathalon and has his sights set on the 2018 Tour de France. Anybody know where he can score some cheetah blood?.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.