Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: The Hot Garbage Edition

Okay, now that you have finished reading my "Bar Rescue" update, I'm back with day 2 of my NFL countdown. Let's get to some more teams that I don't think are going to be very good.

Coming in at number 28, I have the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. You may say, but they looked good on offense last year and they were in a ton of games until the very end last year, why so low? Well, I'll tell you why. Yes, they have a good offense and yes, Jameis Winston looked much better than I thought he would last year, but they still have no real running game, I don't care how good the Muscle Hamster was a few years ago, and their offensive line is not that good. They seem to have a decent enough QB in Winston, who should only get better the longer he is in the league, and they have very good receivers in Vincent Jackson and Mike Evans, but that is where the good stuff ends. They have no real threat at running back and the line cannot block for long enough. Their defense is not very good either. They, like all the teams I have mentioned thus far, cannot pressure the QB or stop the run. Their secondary is not very good either. Then, they inexplicably fired Lovie Smith after one season. They did not hire a coach that I think will be better than Smith, and a lot of people agree with me on this. Smith did not get a fair shot. He could have made the defense competent. He could have had them close to 8 wins this year. Unfortunately, that will not happen. While I like some parts of the offense, I dislike everything about their defense and front office. Looks like another 4-12 season is on the horizon for the Buccaneers.

At number 27, I have the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles stink. They do not have a decent QB. They gave up on DeMarco Murray. They have no receiving threats. Their defense is no good. Their front office makes the Cowboys front office look competent. This team will not be good. Sam Bradford will probably start the year as QB 1, but he will either get hurt, or underperform, and then it will be the Carson Wentz show. Rookies do not do well in the NFL, and Wentz will be no exception. He has no one to throw to, and I don't think he is as good as some other people think he is. The Eagles reached big time on this pick. Their defense is very bad as well. They have no one, and I mean no one that is very good at all on that side of the ball. They will not be able to stop many teams, and much like the 49ers, they will not score too many points. This is a very tough time to be an Eagles fan because of what the now fired Chip Kelly did to this team. He traded away a ton of good players for some not as good players and the team has suffered, and will continue to for some time. I'd be shocked if they win 6 games, that is why I have them finishing 5-11.

At number 26, I have the Detroit Lions. This is kind of painful to me for a few reasons. When I was a kid, the Lions were my team. I loved Barry Sanders and Wayne Fontes and Hermann Moore. They were fun to root for. As I grew up, I realized the Packers were way better, but as I kid, I was a Lions fan. It's also a bummer because I have a lot of family members that are still Lions fans. Sorry, but the Lions just don't appear to be very good. First off, they lost their best offensive player since Barry Sanders this offseason in Calvin Johnson. He retired, but I still wont believe it until I do not see him out on the field. Without Johnson, their only receiving threat is Golden Tate. Yikes. The running backs aren't that good either. Reggie Bush is gone, so Ameer Abdullah will be the feature back. Again, yikes. He fumbles way too much and he can't take a hit. At QB, Matthew Stafford will prove how mediocre he truly is without Calvin Johnson. He will have to actually throw into tight windows and put the ball in his receivers hands. He doesn't have the luxury to just chuck the ball up and hope that Johnson comes down with it. The offense is going to take a big, big step back. The Lions are the first team on this list that I like on defense, but it won't matter. They will be on the field way too much because the offense will be going three and out 90 percent of the time. The defense will also continue to shoot itself in the foot with personal fouls and penalties in general. The Lions are going to take a huge step back. They will only win 4 or 5 games.

At number 25, we have the San Diego Chargers. Yeesh, this team is old and oft injured. Phillip Rivers has been in the league for what seems like one hundred years now, and he has very little to show for it. He is an okay QB, but he wouldn't be one of the first 10 to 12 QB's I'd take if I started a team today. He is way too erratic, and its only gotten worse the longer he has been in the league. His targets are old and hurt all the time now too. Antonio Gates was once great, but he seems to be a person that takes performance enhancing drugs, i.e., his suspension at the start of last year, and he gets hurt way too much. Stevie Jones is already out for the year after tearing his ACL yesterday. I don't know any other receivers on this team. At running back, they have Melvin Gordon Jr, a bust in the making, Ryan Matthews, cannot stay healthy, and Danny Woodhead, what good is he if he doesn't play for the Patriots. Not good choices. The offensive line is fine, but nothing to write home about. It also doesn't matter when Rivers is chucking passes to no one in particular. The defense isn't great either. They wouldn't resign Eric Weddle for some stupid reason, and other than him, they had no one that would set the NFL on fire. They will stop the teams worse than them, but the teams better, there's 25 of them, will score at will on this team. The Chargers are regressing, and they are doing it quickly. They are a lot like the Bears, in so, until they get rid of Rivers, they will continue to get worse. I'd be surprised if the Chargers did not go 5-11 this year.

That's it for today. Come back tomorrow for teams 24, 23, 22, 21. We are getting ever so close to some actual decent teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He has some hope, fantasy football hope, for a few players on the teams listed above. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Nothing but Losers in the Nick Foles Sam Bradford Trade

NFL Scout thinking about next big deal

Trading for past potential never works out.

I'm from and live in Saint Louis, Missouri. Lately, I've been reading a lot of sports stories headlined, "Who Won the Foles for Bradford Trade". Football fans know what I'm talking about. Last offseason, Sam Bradford was traded to the Eagles straight up for Nick Foles. The trade at the time seemed very blah. It wasn't that big of a surprise to me. Both of these guys are mid level, at best, NFL quarterbacks.

Nick Foles wasn't really on anyone's radar until he blew up two seasons ago, coming in for an injured Eagles quarterback and put up insane stats. I believe he had 20 touchdown passes and 1, or maybe even 0 interceptions. He led the Eagles to the playoffs where they were ousted in the first round. Last season was supposed to be when Foles became a upper level quarterback. He wasn't going to be Tom Brady or Peyton Manning or Aaron Rodgers or Cam Newton, but he was supposed to be on the same level as a Jay Cutler or Russell Wilson. That didn't really happen. He started the season very slow. He looked to be lost in Chip Kelly's offense and struggled. Also, Chip Kelly is NOT an offensive genius, at least not in the NFL. Foles eventually got hurt and missed the last half of last season. Mark Sanchez replaced him and played better than him. That's insane to me.

Sam Bradford, on the other hand, was the number one overall pick in the draft. He was supposed to be the savior and new face of the Rams franchise. In his case, he could never stay healthy. He'd start to show flashes, fitting passes into tight windows, throwing a decent deep ball and protecting the football, but it was just that, a flash. At other times, he'd looked flustered and lost. Sometimes, the defense looked so much faster than he could comprehend. He'd take sack after sack by holding the ball way too long. And, he'd ALWAYS end up getting hurt, usually resulting in a lost season. He'd get a concussion or a banged up shoulder, but he always seemed to tear an ACL. Be it preseason or the regular season, he's missed time his entire career.

So when the trade was announced I wasn't surprised so much as thinking, why would these two teams trade for average, oft injured quarterbacks that haven't had much success in the NFL? I didn't really think either team won the trade, but multiple outlets had multiple feelings on the trade. Saint Louis media was thrilled to get rid of Bradford and his huge contract, and they were happy to have Foles. He was cheap and although he was just recently injured, he was more durable than Bradford. In Philadelphia, they were happy to get rid of the slow moving, plodding statue that was Foles. I guess they thought Bradford would be a better fit in Kelly's offense because he ran something similar at Oklahoma. That's problem number one, neither of these guys are mobile at all. They're both pocket passers. I also heard a report from Philadelphia saying that Bradford could lead this team to a Super Bowl, if he could stay healthy. Now, I'm not a Rams fan, but after watching him on local TV for four or five years, he NEVER stayed healthy. I already mentioned all his injury woes earlier. Before the season, Foles pretty quietly came to Saint Louis with little to no fanfare. Not much was expected from him because the Rams just drafted Todd Gurley, and their defense is top notch. Foles was supposed to be a game manager. In Bradford's case, the Super Bowl mention was out there, and he turned down an extension, deciding to bet on himself having a big season to get a big contract. Needless to say, Bradford's expectations were much higher than Foles. Then, the season started.

We are nine games into the season, and neither is really doing too much. Foles was just recently benched. He's completing almost less than 50 percent of his passes and he has 7 touchdown passes compared to 6 interceptions. Without Gurley, the Rams offense would be non existent. Foles isn't managing games. He throws critical interceptions and misses open receivers a lot. The Rams are struggling, look at what the Bears did to them last week, and Foles is a big reason why. I don't care or mind the benching. He's struggled and when you're more than halfway through the season, it's hard to fix these problems. Why not give Case Keenum a chance? What do the Rams have to lose really? In Bradford and Philadelphia's case, they've both been some of the biggest disappointments in the NFL. Philadelphia's offense has been downright awful at times. Kelly is calling way too many pass plays, putting the ball in Bradford's hand way too much. When you have DeMarco Murray, Ryan Matthews and Darren Sproles, why not run it 70 percent of the time? That's a great trio of running backs. But, the Eagles have counted on Bradford too much to the tune of 13 touchdowns and 10 interceptions and a 4-5 record. And also, guess what happened in their last game, Bradford got hurt. Surprise, surprise. He's going to miss, at least, the next two games.

I'll ask again, why are people trying to figure out who "won" this trade? No one did. Both of these quarterbacks have been huge disappointments this year, and both teams should have seen this coming. These two guys are back ups and should be treated that way. For what was supposed to be team changing trades for each team has been, but not in the way the Rams and Eagles thought. These guys stink. I don't know why this trade was made and I bet both teams GM's are kicking themselves right now. Both teams had big plans for this season, but these two QB's have almost derailed these plans.

Sorry Saint Louis and Philadelphia, no one wins this trade.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He once traded his brother a rookie Bo Jackson baseball card for an Alf pog. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.