Now We Have to Write About the Damn Unicorn Frappucino

Here is a pic of Ty's special coffee. It has cream and sugar in it.

I guess this week is going to be my old man grumpy week. Earlier I complained about music festivals. Yesterday I was shocked at how poorly all of the Celtics, except for Isaish Thomas, have been playing so far in the playoffs. I did write about my love for TV so far this year, but that is the only sign of happiness I have shown all week. I'm going to end the week much like it started, by complaining.

I am shocked and grossed out by this new drink at Starbucks, "The Unicorn Frappucino". I have no problem with frappucino's, or anything else at Starbucks for that matter. I love Starbucks and unicorns. Starbucks is second only to Tim Horton's, as far as my favorite coffee spot. I think unicorns are cool as hell too. I love the idea of a horse with a single horn that grants wishes, or whatever unicorns may do. More power to this majestic animal. But, what Starbucks has done is absolutely unnecessary.

This drink looks like an abomination. It looks like every kind of sugary candy, i.e., Skittles, Starburst, so on and so forth, that I gave up three years ago. It is hyper color for god's sake. It looks so sweet, I feel like it would immediately give me diabetes after one sip. All the things that go into this drink just do not make sense, especially on a Starbucks menu. When they introduce new or seasonal items, it has a theme that goes along with Starbucks. Pumpkin spice is big in the fall. They always have some kind of holiday drink with peppermint or cinnamon or some kind of spice that pairs perfectly with winter. Even in the summer they seem to introduce some kind of cold brew or something refreshing as opposed to their normal hot drinks. But this Unicorn Frappucino is just confounding.

The Unicorn Frappucino has a mango puree, some kind of sour powder, whipped cream and sprinkles. There is no coffee is this drink at all. I don't even think there is caffeine. That is fine, but it just seems lost on the menu, and the consumer. I have read multiple people's takes on this drink and they all seem to sound the same. I have seen stuff that says, "it's only good for one sip", or, "8 year old me would have loved this drink, but now that I have developed taste buds, it's disgusting".

All the comments seem to have that same sentiment. I read a story yesterday that said the employees that are making the drink have grown very disenfranchised with it as well. Apparently the powder stains their hands and people complain if it doesn't look like the pictures. Nothing ever looks like the picture. You ever seen a picture of a Big Mac or a Whopper, ordered it, and it looked like that same picture? No way. The picture is supposed to draw you in, and that is it. Food will never look like the picture. That would take far too much time.

To make matters even worse, my wife wants one of these drinks, but she is too embarrassed to order it. Do you know what that means? I have to get one for her because I could care less what the barista's at Starbucks think about me. My wife doesn't want them to think that she is the one drinking this thing. She'd rather they thought it was me, and I'm fine with that. I will not take one sip of this drink though. It sounds way too gross.

Another big issue I have with the Unicorn Frappucino is all the god damn pictures I have to see of it on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. That is probably my least favorite thing about social media and food. Everyone has to take pictures of their fancy or different food and share it with their followers. I do not give a shit about what other people are eating or drinking. I only care about what myself, my wife, and most importantly, my kids are eating. I never, ever take pictures of my food and post it to any social media site. That is so stupid and vain. I barely put pictures of myself on there, so why would I put pictures of food or drink. It is a waste of time and storage on your phone or camera. People seem to be more obsessed with ordering the Unicorn Frappucino to take pictures of it rather than drinking it. Great, you just wasted 5 dollars of your money for a picture. It is so stupid.

I guess that is the main issue. We are all too consumed with image as a society now. It shocks me that people will buy one of these drinks, snap a photo of themselves with the drink, take a sip, realize it is gross, and throw it away. They just want people to know that they are one of the many thousands of people that bought the Unicorn Frappucino.

It is not just this particular drink that drives me nuts. I loathe when McDonald's busts out the McRib. I'm not a fan of chicken fries from Burger King. I think Taco Bell having breakfast is vile and disgusting. Everything Arby's does is gross. It's becoming an epidemic in the fast food industry, making newer and newer concoctions for people to talk about. It works, obviously. I'm talking about it today, and I'm probably one of the last people to bring it up. But, fast food places that have established themselves do not need to keep coming up with new, and disgusting, ideas. Stick with the basics. That is why you became successful.

One more thing, if anyone out there has had one of these Unicorn Frappucino's, please tell me about your experience because I have not heard one good thing about it, and I'm dying to know who actually bought one, and enjoyed it.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is willing to buy your Unicorn Frappucino, but only if you post a photo of Ty on your social media.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Ty Loves Dehydrating His Food

Ty is ready for his next ready trip

As a stay at home dad for 3 plus years now, I have found and retaken up some old and new hobbies. I play basketball more than I have since high school now. It's the best outlet for me to go hang out with some adults for a couple of hours and get some good exercise. I also love the game. I have taken up running as well. It is a nice get away as well. I get to be by myself with my own thoughts for the 3 or 4 mile runs I do. Hiking is another thing I have taken up. I love being outside and walking up and down rocky hills, and seeing lakes and rivers is one of my favorite things.

But, my hobbies aren't exclusively sports related. I write now, obviously. I love it and I love that I have a platform to do it. I have gotten back into my guitar a bit (by the way, the Gibson SG is the greatest guitar ever). I don't play it as much as I did before my kids, but now when I play, they love to join in, and it is a free for all, and a blast. I also have my at home dad's group that I have written and talked about with Kirk on the podcast before. I also read a lot more than ever before. All the reading in school that was mandatory doesn't hold a card to how much I read now.

But, the one newer habit I have found that I love, that I want to talk about today is my new found love of my Nesco Dehydrator. This is by no means a plug for Nesco either. They aren't paying me a dime, maybe that will change after they read this, fingers crossed, but I have found a new love with this dehydrator. It was given to me as a gift about 2 years ago over the holidays. My mother in law, who is the best, gave it to me because she knows how much I love beef jerky, and she said that she heard this was a cheaper and more fun way to make and eat jerky. She was 100 percent correct. I was immediately on board with this thing. I couldn't wait to give it a try ASAP. I went out and got some ground beef first, that's what they recommended, and while it was fine, I was a little lost. I couldn't get the right texture or flavor that I was searching for. Everyone who tried the jerky said it was fine, but I think they were just paying me lip service.

I finally got around to reading more online about recipes and talking to other people that make their own jerky. The first thing I learned, especially with a Nesco, was to buy something like flank steak or leaner cuts of meat. No more ground beef. The leaner cuts are easier to cut into bite size pieces and easier to marinate.

The marinade was the next thing I learned. There didn't need to be as much salt for a cure as I thought I needed. I could literally do whatever I wanted. If I wanted no salt, that was fine. If I wanted a little to medium amount of salt that was fine as well. It was all based on what I wanted. I have gotten some great recipes from one of my wife's uncle's, friends and online. My, I guess he's my Uncle in law, favorite is his recipe.

I have also found some places that sell strictly beef jerky, there is a great beef jerky outlet in the Wisconsin Dells, and they sell some of their marinades to take home. Those are great as well.

Beef jerky is my favorite thing to do with my dehydrator, but there is so much more that I have found that I can do with it. I make snacks for the kids whenever we go on road trips now. Instead of feeding them chips and candy at every gas station we stop at, I make a batch of apple, pineapple and banana chips. And my kids love them. I will put cinnamon or pumpkin spice or even a little cayenne on them, and the kids, and my wife and I eat them up. Sure, it takes about 22 to 26 hours for the fruit to get that chip texture, but when it is done and cooled off, it is divine. My son always asks me if I'm going to make them whenever he knows a trip is upcoming because he loves to have it on the road. He also likes to help me with the seasoning when we do the fruit. Not only is he getting a healthy snack, but he gets to help pick what he wants on the selected fruit that we dehydrate. It is great for my daughter as well. I don't have to go out and buy expensive, sometimes organic snacks for her anymore. I can just make them at home.

The Nesco also works great for drying herbs. I'm not much of a cook, but my wife is. We aren't gardeners, but my mother in law is, and she gives us fresh herbs a lot. We usually do not use them right away as we should, but with the dehydrator, I can take some basil, parsley, thyme, whatever it may be, and slap it on a dehydrator tray, let it sit for a couple of hours, and boom, we have dried herbs that we can use for a long time. It saves a lot on our grocery bill.

Even today I tried something new with my Nesco. My kids love fruit leather. You know what I'm talking about. It is like a fruit roll up, but healthy. Well, I was reading my Nesco book and I found that I could make my very own fruit leather. All I needed was whatever fruit I wanted, a blender and the Nesco. My son picked out blueberries at the store, I got home, washed them, put them into the blender, added a little water and honey, pureed it and placed it on the special sheet I have for making fruit leather and it is dehydrating as I type this. I'm curious to see how it turns out, but I'm sure it will be another hit.

This new hobby has taken on a life of its own, and I love it. I feel like a chef when doing these things, and as I have already mentioned, I'm no chef. But, I get to pick out spices and the meat or fruit or herbs and put them on a tray, set the temperature that is given to me, and let the Nesco do all the work. If you like making jerky, I highly recommend getting a dehydrator. Any kind should work, but I recommend a Nesco. It's what I have, and it works. Also, you don't just have to be a beef jerky person if you want a dehydrator. I mentioned the jerky, but I also mentioned fruit and herbs, and I'm sure there are thousands of things you can find to dehydrate.

I just felt like sharing with everyone my newish hobby because I think it is a fun and easy thing for someone who is looking for something interesting and new to try out at your home. Get a dehydrator, they're a blast.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Do you have an interesting hobby that the world needs to know about, come tell us. Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Is Soylent the Food For People? 30 Days In

I have officially lived with a diet consisting of mostly Soylent for 30 days. Actually, I’m a little late in getting this to SeedSing, so it is actually 32 days now. I do not have much to add from my previous observations, so this will start as more of a recap.

I started out with the following goals and expectations of my use of the product:

• Increased consciousness of nutritional value of food intake

• Increased feelings of wellness related to dietary consumption both physically and mentally

• Less hungry between meal times, therefore less snacking

In the first few days I noted that the taste was neutral, but not displeasing. I said that I felt different due mostly to the change in diet and that I was disinterested in snacking for the most part.

In the days that followed I noticed an increase in energy. I also noticed a reduction in weight due to my attention to calories. I had stated that I felt a greater sense of physical and mental wellness. I had also mentioned experiencing cravings of some of the less healthy foods that I usually eat when I am around others who are eating them.

Upon my subsequent review I noticed that I did not have as much of a dependence on coffee. I could use it for the pure joy of drinking coffee rather than force myself to make coffee to give me energy. I was still noticing a strong craving for solid food around others eating it. I pointed out the increased enjoyment I had with eating food when I did eat it. I sensed richer flavors and textures than I was before. As far as my digestive system goes, gas was less prevalent which might be welcome to those around me.

What now?

Now that I have done this experiment for 30 days, what am I going to do? If I put these observations into a list of pros and cons I am not really seeing much on the cons side. One might argue that the cravings for solid food could be a con. Maybe. But remember that what I am trying to gain will come with that no matter how I do it. Also, when I think about how I feel after giving into those cravings, the cravings themselves and my ability to look at them and consciously analyze why they are there (mostly because I want to taste something rather than actual hunger) the experience looks a lot more like a pro to me.

When looking at my experiences versus the goals and expectations that I set forth I think that they are more than satisfied. There is certainly an increased consciousness of the nutritional value of what goes into my body. Mentally I feel that I am sharper and more focused. Physically, rather than feeling drag as I had been, I feel energized to the point where coffee is a drink I enjoy instead of depend on. The less hunger between meal times is absolutely awesome. I rarely find myself distracted by hunger and that focus feeds into my mental wellness as well. I have also been losing weight and feeling lighter and more energetic as a result since I have been tracking calories. I plan to continue to track calories either way, but I also want to track nutrition since, as I have mentioned before, a person can still be quite unhealthy while tracking calories.

As I said, this writing comes 32 days into my Soylent usage. Guess what? I am still drinking Soylent for over half of my calories.  I am enjoying it. I like the simplicity of doing it for two of my three meals, but I still have the experience (now with increased enjoyment) of cooking and/or eating meals once a day. I like the increase awareness of nutrition. I like the increased overall mental focus. I am sold.

Kirk Aug

Kirk is interested, and sometimes weary, of what the future holds. Like drones. Follow Kirk on instagram @kirkaug and twitter @kirkaug.

Is Soylent the Food For People? Fifteen Days Later

As of today, I have been using Soylent as a big part of my diet for 15 days. That is half of the month that I had originally planned to test this diet with. You can read my first two accounts here and here. In the second week and a day of having a least half of my calories come from Soylent here are some of my observations:

Not only have I noticed that I have more energy when I wake up in the morning, but I have less desire for coffee lately as well. I have always had to force myself to stop drinking coffee when I notice it gets to unhealthy levels. The past few days I have been forcing myself to make some coffee when I can sense the oncoming headache from caffeine withdrawal. I like to drink some coffee when I want to drink some coffee, but I could use less dependence on coffee. Therefore I consider this a welcome change.

I have really been noticing a strong urge to want to eat solid food when I'm planning on having Soylent. Particularly when I am around family that is eating or snacking. At first I was only noticing it when I wanted to eat junk food, but I have also started noticing it with something like carrots. I snacked on a lot of junk, but also on a lot of carrots. Still, these cravings are never really hunger. It is part desire for the taste and part unhealthy eating habits that I have learned over the years. While experiencing this does cause me a small amount of suffering, I can usually move my mind on to something else pretty easily.

On the other hand, when I do eat, the food has a richer flavor. I really enjoy it more than I had before. I can taste and actually take time to notice the individual ingredients and their subtle flavors in my food. By the time I eat a meal for the day, I am really looking forward to it. So I am going to make sure I take the time to enjoy it. I still eat way faster than I need to, but I also spend much more time appreciating the deliciousness of what I am eating.

I have noticed a change in my digestive system. Not that I think it was a huge issue (although you would have to ask my family for their opinion) I have had less gas issues coming from either end. I have read some reports that defecation levels of some Soylent users are reduced. If that is true of me, the change has been minimal.

Overall, I feel much better than I have in awhile. I feel more mentally focused. Physically, I feel less dragging from poor nutrition. I have certainly lost weight, but again I think this has more to do with tracking my calories than with using Soylent. I have lost a lot of weight by tracking calories before. The difference this time is that I am getting much more balanced nutrition. So instead of getting an “oh shit I am about to black out” feeling when I stand up after sitting for awhile, I simply stand up and feel the same as when I was sitting.

So there you have it. If you ever wanted to know what it would be like to have Soylent as a major part of your diet for half of a month, these are my impressions. I plan to update with any further observations in another week or so and a final conclusion at the 30 day mark where I will look back and weigh out whether I feel this experience has been beneficial enough to continue. Thanks for reading and feel free to ask any questions in the comments.

Kirk Aug

Kirk sometimes wishes that Soylent followed it's pop culture roots and was made in chip form. Follow Kirk on instagram @kirkaug and twitter @kirkaug.

Is Soylent the Food For People? One Week Later.

It has been a week with Soylent now. I have been recording my thoughts related to diet daily since I first wrote about my Soylent experiment a few days in. Those thoughts are what follow.

DAY 4

Today I got up bright and early and had plenty of energy to actually stay awake and complete tasks before the rest of the house woke up. I have been having trouble with that lately. Is Soylent helping me get more energy? The jury is still out on that.

I do find myself more aware of what I am eating. I am going for 50% or about 1000 of my calories coming from Soylent. I am also changing my diet. I do not think that the ingestion of Soylent is causing more awareness. Rather, it probably has more to do with the change from habitual diet to something non-habitual. I’m not just using muscle memory right now, so that probably makes me more aware.

I have not really been snacking. I had a lunch today prepared by my partner from HelloFresh (a fresh food and recipe shipping service). I have a meal like this three times a week and they are all pretty nutritionally complete. HelloFresh or not, I am having a meal each day that has anywhere from 400 to 1200 calories.

DAY 5

I had two servings of Soylent during the day and I started feeling pretty hungry before it was time to start making supper. I ended up snacking on some baby carrots and hummus, but I am starting to think that three servings of Soylent per day is going to need to be the standard to keep me satisfied until supper time. I wake up pretty early and, with my partner's work schedule the way it is, I sometimes eat supper pretty late. Not that I think snacking on baby carrots and hummus is such a bad thing.

I was thinking about an article I read about how we get more out of eating than just nutrition. The article focused on the chewing part of eating and reasons that may be an essential part of our diet that we do not typically think about. Besides my desire to prepare and eat some meals with my family, this is another big part of why I would probably not attempt to go on a 100% Soylent diet. I thought about how someone who wanted to go all Soylent might deal with this. Chewing gum might be an option, but it is pretty soft. I guess someone could chew on a harder object like leather or a stick. In that case though, one might suffer the ability to socialize in our culture.

DAY 6

This morning I made bacon and hard boiled eggs and sat down and watched my family eat them. It seems a little strange, but not as much as I expected. Maybe it has already become a little familiar to me since I often prepare meat for them to eat. I have been enjoying a vegetarian diet for about a year already and as the person in the house who accepts the responsibility of preparing much of the food, I try to fill everyone's dietary desires to the extent that I am able. Maybe that is part of why it does not seem so strange to sit with people eating and not eat that myself.

Bacon does not do this, but I am starting to feel cravings when certain foods are being eaten around me. It is only those foods I am trying to get away from eating anyway though. The junk with little or no nutritional value. If I want to get away from that, there is going to be some of this no matter what change I make to my diet.

DAY 7

This evening I went to the movies and had some popcorn. I can usually go through the whole bag of popcorn without thinking much about it. Tonight however, I stopped eating and put it down after about a quarter of the bag. I picked it up a little later and had a bit more, but I did not even finish half of it. I am mentioning this to mark the fact that I have noticed that I am aware of feeling full before it reaches levels of discomfort. I welcome this change.

I am still getting up early without crawling back into bed or falling asleep on the couch during my morning meditation. I feel like I have a lot of healthy energy after my rest. Sometimes I nap a little in the middle of the day, but my urge to do that has decreased as well.

A couple of friends have mentioned doing something similar to what I am to lose weight. Any time you keep track of calories the way I am right now and if you are consuming a lower amount than you were otherwise, you will lose weight.

I lost over 100 pounds a few years back simply by paying attention to calories. The dangerous thing about that is that simply counting calories can still be very unhealthy. Many days while doing that before I ate low calorie foods so that I could eat more throughout the day. This means a lot of vegetables many times. But it also meant a lot of popcorn (sans butter) sometimes. There were also more days than I probably care to remember when my entire day's calories was donuts or some other high calorie pastry.

I have been losing a little weight since my calorie intake had been higher than I prefer. I did not get on the scale recently enough before I started to have an exact figure, but I can see it going down and I can feel it.

To conclude the first week, I feel an increased sense of satisfaction with my wellness both mentally and physically, I am definitely feeling and increased awareness of nutritional value of food intake, and feel much less like snacking between meals.

Kirk Aug

Kirk is interested in all things new and exciting, like drones. Follow his Soylent journey here on SeedSing and twitter @kirkaug.

Is Soylent the Food for People?

It looks like milk, taste like milk, but this is no milk

Last November, I wrote about a food product called Soylent. I wondered if replacing my diet with the a product that represents the nutritional needs of an average adult would be a satisfying way increase my nutritional balance in a simplified way. At the time I did not heavily consider trying it.

For whatever reason, my desire to try Soylent has changed. I have been using it for 3 days. I think that this is as good a place as any to keep track of my experience with it. Before I go over my initial impressions, I’d like to cover some of my hopes and for the product and expectations in using it.

Goals

I have not been a very healthy eater lately. This is not something that is easily quantifiable, but I can say for certain that I do not feel a sense of wellness in relation to much of what I put in my body. I eat fast and when I find something tasty, I can easily eat more than the need for satisfying my hunger requires. This leaves me feeling miserable for some time after eating.

I do think that on average I eat at least one meal a day where this is not the case. A meal where I am conscious enough of my tendency to eat fast to either choose something with fewer calories or just slow down and wait for my body’s natural response. I also think that on average I eat one meal a day that is nutritionally balanced. At least much more so than other meals of the day.

I originally wrote about Soylent as not just a meal replacement, but a diet replacement. The idea was that it could be a human equivalent to dog food. I currently have no plans to use it that way.

As stated, I feel that for one meal a day on average I can already combat my habitual unhealthy tendencies. Also, I like to make and eat some meals with my family. Therefore, I will continue to enjoy up to a meal of non-Soylent food each day. So as part of this trial of the product, I will consume 50% or more of my calories using Soylent for at least a month.

Another thing that I am hoping to see is an increased consciousness of what I am putting into my body. I think a big part of my lack of feeling of wellness related to my diet has to do with snacking. I would like to feel less like snacking between meals.

Here is my short list of goals or hopes that I am looking for in the next month to determine if I would like to continue to use this product in this way. This list may not be all inclusive, there may be things I add to it as I continue my journey:

• Increased consciousness of nutritional value of food intake

• Increased feelings of wellness related to dietary consumption both physically and mentally

• Less hungry between meal (or Soylent consumption) times, therefore less snacking

Initial Impressions

When I took the first drink of Soylent, I thought the taste was just as neutral as it has been described. I have seen flavoring recipes for Soylent and I think that is why it aims for a neutral flavor. It is made to be adapted to the taste of anyone.

I personally am okay with drinking Soylent as is. I would describe it as a similar taste to milk after eating a non-sweet cereal such as Chex. In fact I would say it is exactly the taste of milk left after eating a bowl of Chex. I would normally drink that milk. Some people would not.

So far I have been drinking Soylent in replacement of the first two meals of the day. Depending on the calories expected in the meal that I eat, I have either been drinking 2 or 3 of the 400 kCal ready to drink Soylent servings. Each of these is representative of 20% of the average adult daily nutritional needs according the FDA guidelines.

I can definitely say that I feel different in the first two parts of the day. I cannot say that it is increased wellness due to the nutritional simplicity provided by Soylent. My body is adapting to a change in diet, and certainly the changed feeling has a lot to do with that. I am not prepared to evaluate whether this change feels good or bad, so for now I will stick with ‘different’.

I have not been feeling much like snacking. I have been noticing an increased awareness of the difference between a desired to eat because I am actually hungry and simply feeling ‘snacky’ for lack of a better term. I notice that I feel full for a good deal of time, say four hours or more, after drinking the Soylent.

So those are my initial impressions. I intend to keep this space of the internet updated with my continuing thoughts on my trial of Soylent. Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to follow along. Share your thoughts below.

Kirk Aug

Kirk helps grow the Idea Farm around here at SeedSing. He is th eone who gets to try all the new innovative food stuff of tomorrow that the rest of us fear. Next up, lab grown meat?. Follow Kirk on twitter @kirkaug

Love it or Hate it, Cincinnati does have some Interesting Chili

Baby, if you ever wondered what became of the most interesting chili. It is in Cincinnati.

I just spent the last 3 and a half days visiting my brother and his family in Cincinnati over the 4th of July. We go there occasionally on the fourth for our family vacation. Cincinnati, in my opinion, is kind of a dull town. But, there is some good food and some cool things to do.

For one, if you go there, check out Findlay Market. It's a very cool farmers market with great shops and equally great food. Reds games are cheap and they have a cool playground for young kids inside the stadium. Cincinnati is the home of Grater's Ice Cream, which may be the best ice cream in the whole United States. Loveland, the town my brother lives in, is very cool and hip with some neat downtown stuff to check out.

The thing I look most forward too, besides seeing family, is Skyline. Skyline is just like any other fast food restaurant, but it has a very special niche. Skyline is famous for their chili. I think it has chocolate or cinnamon, or both, and it's very interesting. I know that a lot of people do not care for their take on chili. My brother, RD, will not eat it when we go there. I believe Drew Magary,of Deadspin, called it "prison chili". Then, there is just a lot of random people that just don't enjoy the taste. I am not one of these people. Skyline is one of my highlights and must hit spots when my family visits.

Now, I don't eat the chili just plain, in a bowl. I am not a big fan of soups, stews, anything like that, so chili in a bowl is not my thing. But, put that chili on a hot dog with some cheese, or put it on fries with cheese, I'm in. What sets Skyline apart, aside from the sweet chili, is the hot dog and the bun. The hot dogs are very tiny and they appear to be steamed. This steaming technique gives the hot dog a very juicy taste. It's very tasty. The buns, also small, are steamed as well. The whole chili dog experience has a juiciness to it that is exquisite. The icing on the chili dog cake is the finely shredded cheddar cheese they they load on top of the dog. It is so god damn good. This is the best part of the whole eating experience. When you take that first bite and get a bit of sweet chili, steamed hot dog and bun, and finish it off with a big bite of cheese, man, my mouth is watering just thinking about it, and I ate three of them no less than an hour ago. I LOVE these chili dogs. The sweetness of the chili offsets the saltiness of the rest of the food perfectly. The same thing with the chili fries, instead the salt portion is the fry. These are almost as good as the dogs, almost. The best part of the fries is, once again, the heaping portion of cheese on top. I think the cheese at Skyline may be the best shredded cheese on Earth. It's dynamite.

I know that outside of, and even inside, Cincinnati, the chili can get a bad rap, but I think it's great. If you have never been to Cincinnati and are planning a trip there, you have to go to Skyline, get some chili dogs and chili cheese fries. You will thank me later. And thank you Skyline for always coming through every time I visit Cincinnati. You guys are the best.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He wishes Skyline had breakfast, then he would only have to visit one restaurant in the Queen City. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

The Hilarious Sadness that is Guy Fieri

Disclaimer- I do not own the rights to any of the clips shown or the music. This is for entertainment purposes only. I know that this is a NIN cover. But in an interview with Trent Reznor he said it was now Johnny Cash's after he heard the cover.

Yesterday I was goofing around on the internet and I stumbled upon something great. I was looking at Facebook, or maybe it was Twitter, and I happened upon the AV Club's fan page. I check the AV club stuff out a lot. I enjoy some of their reviews on movies, music and other things, and I always enjoy reading their top 10, 20 or 30 lists because they drive me both, very angry and agreeable. Sometimes they are right on the mark, other times, they are way off. The AV Club is also very predictable. It's easy to know what they will like and dislike when it comes to TV, movies, music, basically any pop culture stuff. But, this video I stumbled upon last night is one of the greatest "WTF" things I have ever seen on the internet.

First things first, I do not enjoy Guy Fieri. The guy is a hack. He is a joke. He has no idea what he is doing and he looks like a goblin. He is a wannabe rock star that tries to make eating at diners and cooking mediocre food look cool. Spoiler alert Guy Fieri, you are not, nor have you ever been, cool. You look and act utterly ridiculous. You are the Sammy Hagar of food, and that is not a compliment.

On the other hand, I do enjoy Johnny Cash. I love pretty much everything he has done. When he first put out music, it was at the height of good country music. He was the best, in my opinion, amongst his peers that included guys like Hank Williams and Kris Kristofferson. In the middle of his career, when he was infatuated with pills and jail, he made some of his best music. His album, "Live at Folsom Prison" is, not only one of my personal favorite live albums, it is also one of the best live albums of all time. It is a peak performer doing his best music for a bunch of inmates, and they all loved it. Even later in his life, when he teamed up with Rick Rubin, that was, in my opinion, his best music. He did mainly covers, but the covers and the originals were top notch. Rick Rubin put his stamp on it, but those records really shined when Cash would sing. His voice, while old and getting more gruff, sounded delightful. It was heartbreaking, but in all the right ways.

This all leads me back to what I was talking about in the beginning of this post. Some genius cut together a video of Guy Fieri eating food, on one of his many TV shows, and instead of having Fieri talk or putting in his garbage music on his shows, they put Johnny Cash's version of the song "Hurt" as the main music accompanying the 3 minute video. Go watch it right now, it will change your life. The video is one of the funniest, gut wrenching, tastefully done comedic things I have witnessed. The video opens on Fieri talking about some kind of food that he is about to devour, because that is the only proper word for describing how Guy Fieri eats, and then the music comes in and Cash recites the opening lyric, "I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel". Oh. My. God. What a perfect lyric to describe Guy Fieri's life choices. Not only does he hurt himself with the food he eats, but his everyday life is one bad choice after another, and I think he does it to see if he can still feel things like embarrassment, pain and guilt. This was the exact opening I was hoping for when I clicked on the link and it only got so much better from there. Cash continues to sing the song and we continue to see Fieri eating one monstrosity after the other. Then, when we get to the chorus, it is a thing of beauty, at least comedy wise, not so much to look at. When the chorus starts, Fieri is just jamming this food into his stupid face, and all the while, we hear Cash singing things, "What have I become, my only friend", "everything goes away in the end", "but you could have it all", "I will make you hurt". Those lyrics couldn't be anymore perfect for what we are seeing as the viewing audience. Even at the end, when the chorus gets louder and more poignant, it is like a mash up of all of the things that most people find incredibly disgusting about Guy Fieri.

This video is everything that it should be. It is funny, poignant, timely and will go down as a classic "viral video". As I said before, I don't know who made it, but I know that they had a stroke of genius when they decided to do this. This is one of the greatest things that is on the internet. This gives me faith in the good parts of the internet. Yeah, it is mocking someone, but this particular someone deserves to be mocked for his countless moments of acting, and being, a jackass. I watched the video three times yesterday, showed it to my wife who watched it once, and I have watched it two more times today. This is wonderful and I urge everyone to seek it out. You won't be disappointed.

ed note: The creator of the video is Mayor Wertz, you can subscribe to his YouTube channel here.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host for the X Millennial Man Podcast. He loves his food, he just does not love it with flame shirts and bleached hair. Make sure you follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Getting Older, and Adding Bacon, Makes One Appreciate Brussels Sprouts

Hungry?

I've been writing a lot about sports, music, television and movies lately. That's what I am supposed to write about because I'm a pop culture writer, but sometimes you have to write about something a bit off topic.

No, I'm not going to talk about the primaries today, that's RD's job (ed note: go vote).

I'm actually going to talk about a food that I feel is wildly unappreciated. This is a food that, when trying to give to a child, draws a face of disgust. Hell, I know some adults that would give the same face. But, when executed properly, this food is tremendous. The food I speak of is the brussels sprout.

Now, as a kid, I wouldn't touch one of these with a ten foot pole. They smelled weird, tasted weird and who wants to eat a mini cabbage anyway? I was not a fan. But, as recently as two years ago, a love affair with this vegetable came on strong. I was eating at a restaurant called The Block in Webster Groves, Missouri and they had an appetizer called "flash fried brussel sprouts". The rest of the table thought this sounded good and I figured, I'm in my 30's now, maybe I like brussels sprouts. It didn't hurt that there was bacon in the dish as well. In fact, the ingredients in the appetizer where, brussels sprouts, bacon, slivered almonds, cooked onions, vinegar and lemon juice.

They had me at bacon.

When the dish was served, I think I ate about 75 percent of it. It was fantastic. Sure, the bacon and lemon juice were the most prominent flavor, but the brussels sprout was definitely present. This dish made me a fan of brussels sprouts. Soon, I'd find myself buying them at the store and incorporating them in dinners at home. I'd eat them roasted, fried, cooked in butter or oil, basically, I'd eat them anyway they came. My wife has gotten very close to replicating the appetizer from The Block too. As I said, we eat them a lot, so she wanted to try and she almost has it. Sometimes there's a touch too much vinegar or lemon juice, but they're still great anyway they come out. I find myself ordering them as a side when it's on restaurants menus. I'd rather have brussel sprouts than fries, if that's an option. And when restaurants do them right, they can be the best thing for the full meal.

The main reason this topic was on my mind was the recent trip my family just took. My wife and I, our two kids and my folks just ventured up to the Wisconsin Dells for swimming and relaxation for four days. We stayed at the excellent Great Wolf Lodge and they have everything there you could want, including restaurants. They have an indoor and outdoor water park, lodging, an ice cream parlor, story time for kiddos and a bar that doubles as a restaurant. The first night we got there, instead of looking for a local restaurant, we decided to eat at the main bar/restaurant. All the food was great, but my wife and father got a side order of brussels sprouts. At this place their brussels sprouts also had bacon, but they didn't have almonds or lemon juice or onions or vinegar, they had a Dijon mustard sauce. So, it was just brussels sprouts, bacon and a Dijon sauce. Sounds minimal, but my wife let me finish her order, and they were phenomenal. The Dijon sauce was sublime. The bacon was crispy perfection and the brussels sprouts were perfectly cooked. I found myself spooning the remaining sauce into my mouth because it was so tasty. Needless to say, the three other times we went to the restaurant, my wife, myself and my dad made sure we ordered this dish. It was awesome, possibly the best thing I ate during our stay, and I ate a shit ton of cheese curds.

So, if you're on the fence, or you haven't tried them in years, give brussels sprouts a chance. Be sure to add bacon, or if you are a vegetarian, just roast them with butter and oil. Both ways of cooking really accentuate the excellent flavor of brussels sprouts. I'm a big fan now and I'm sure you will be too if you give them a fair chance.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He hopes to one day revisit lima beans and durian. He is hoping they both are accented with bacon. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Being a reality show moron does not make a person a better cook

The proper way to serve oysters

I watch a lot of cooking shows.  I've written about my love for Ina Garten and "Barefoot Contessa". My wife and I watch "Chopped", "Cutthroat Kitchen", "Pioneer Woman", basically any type of show that makesfood the star. We love them. It's an escape and it's nice to have some noise on in the background while doing stuff around the house.

I've become to grow wary of the competition cooking shows though. These shows take themselves WAY too seriously. The way the chefs and the judges act is downright laughable. You hear the chefs talking about stupid shit like doing food "farm to table" or "cooking saved my life" or "I'm the type of chef that will smile in your face, then cut your throat out to get what I want". It's all ridiculous. Sure, I do believe, for a very small few, that cooking may have saved someone's life, but ease up. I'm sure there's other things that helped to save your life. Maybe rehab or loved ones or growing up. All those are more important than cooking, in my opinion. This whole "farm to table" started out as a nice idea, but it's been beaten to death. I'm so tired of hearing these young chefs, most born after 1995, talking about the good old days of cooking. You're 20 years old, the good old days were 1990 to you. Just stop with the whole "farm to table", unless you're a farmer. And this new breed of chef, the asshole chef I'll call them, they're insufferable. These chefs act like cooking is a sport. No offense to the elderly, but my grandma cooked until the day she died at the age of 84, and she was a much better chef than these punks that think it's a sport. Get over yourself, you're a chef, not a professional athlete.

Like I said, I'm growing very wary of the competition shows and the worst offender is "Top Chef". "Top Chef" is laughably bad now. These chefs are the worst of the new asshole chefs. They're all young, douchebag chefs. On "Top Chef", the "cheftestants" take themselves so seriously, you'd think they were saving lives with their food. Calm down, all your doing is making food. Your job isn't that important. Almost anyone can cook. And before you say I don't know what I'm talking about, my brother is a great chef. He's made that his career, but he's not an asshole. He doesn't take himself seriously at all. He knows what he does is universal. He's a great, special person that I love, he's an awesome bigger brother, but his cooking skills aren't what makes him great, it's his love he shows for me and our family. But, I digress, back to "Top Chef" bull shit. These contestants are much too passionate about a job that any 15 year old child can get. I hate the waythey present their food like its a god damn gift to the person eating it. Screw you, it's not that good. I hate how hipster and not self aware these young chefs are. They couldn't be any more ridiculous.

On a recent episode of "Top Chef", one of the contestants served oysters on a hot rock. What the hell! Is he some kind of idiot? He claimed, "I like to use the elements outside to present my food". Screw you you asshole. You suck. Don't serve something that's supposed to be ice cold on a burning hot rock. Gross. This same contestant goes on later in the episode talking about him and his wife serving food at Coachella, because of course he went to Coachella to serve food. Could this guy be anymore of a douchebag? Ugh, I hate this guy. He's chef Phillip on the current season if you're curious and want to watch a supreme dick head on TV.

Which brings me to the judges. They talk about this food like they're going to send the losing chef to jail for making sub par food. They say stupid things like, "the bass needed 4 or 5 grains of salt to really put it over the top", or "this is good, but there's a whole piece of star anise in there and if I ate that, my palette would be completely blown out". I HATE these judges. You guys are judging food! Your job is less important than the chefs! You guys suck too. I hate that they get so mad at chefs for leaving out little things on all these free meals they're getting. Ugh, you are the worst. The absolute worst judges are Padma Lakshmi and Tom Colicchio. They take their jobs MUCH too seriously. They get legitimately mad at these chefs sometimes for the smallest things. Lakshmi, at one point, said she's "never had to wait for a table before and I'm not going to start now". Ugh, screw you. Sorry we aren't all as privileged as you. And Tom Colicchio, stop with the act that you're these chefs friends. You're just as bad as any other judge on any other cooking competition show. And don't act like you're more important because your show is on Bravo. You know what else is in Bravo, any style of "Real Housewives" crap.

"Top Chef" is just as trashy as any other reality show. You guys aren't more important than any other garbage cooking competition show. You're worse. I'm sick and tired of how serious these shows have become. I'm done watching them and I'll stick with my "Barefoot Contessa". Ina cooks for the love, not the competition. She will forever be a better chef than any douche on "Chopped", "Cutthroat Kitchen" and most importantly, the god awful "Top Chef".

Screw these shows forever.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man podcast. Not only does he think Ina could outcook any cheftestant, he would take her in a straight up fist fight with any of those idiots. Join Ty's anger by following him on twitter @tykulik.

The McRib and the loss of one's youth

The bones say that this is no McRib

After spending Thanksgiving evening in Columbia, me, my wife, son and daughter all made the drive home on Friday after breakfast. We got very little sleep, a new baby and different house, and we were hungry for anything but turkey. We had our fill, going to three separate Thanksgiving celebrations. So, we chose to get McDonald's. It was right by the gas station where we filled up and it was not turkey.

We all got our usual. I had a quarter pounder, my wife had two cheese burgers and my son got chicken McNuggets. All standard stuff. But, my wife and I decided we wanted to get a McRib. Neither of us had one in over 15 years and we both thought that we remembered they were tasty. So, we threw caution to the wind and ordered one to share. We ate our meals first and then had the McRib afterward. My wife opened it and what was revealed to me was one of the sloppiest "sandwiches" I had ever seen. It was on a hoagie type bun, it was stamped to look like a rib, they SMOTHERED it in their barbecue sauce and pickles and onions were literally falling off the side.

My wife was the brave soul that took the first bite. I asked how it was and she replied, "interesting". I was intrigued. As I said before, I hadn't had one in 15 years and I used to devour them whenever McDonald's brought them back. I LOVED the McRib as a teenager. Now, it was my turn. I took my first bite. Interesting was a great way to describe it, but I would use the words "gross" or "extremely sweet and sloppy" or even "disgusting". Now, I did finish my half of the sandwich. I wanted the full experience I guess. But, it was not the same thing I remember. When I ate the McRib last Friday, I was so disappointed.

First of all, it is just their burger "meat" stamped to look like a rib. My biggest problem with this interpretation, there are supposed to be bones in ribs, that's how the meat gets it's smoky flavor. But the McRib, it's all "meat". Even the bone shape is edible. This was off putting from the get go. Then, you bite into the "sandwich", and all you get is the sweetest barbecue sauce you will ever taste. I've never been much of a fan of their take on barbecue sauce. It's way too thick and way too sweet. I prefer a thinner, spicier barbeque sauce. So, this problem I have is not McDonald's fault, it's just my taste. But the fact that they smother the "sandwich" in their barbecue sauce, that's unacceptable. Why do you need that much sauce on one sandwich? They don't douse their burgers in mustard and ketchup. Their salads aren't drenched with dressing. So why so much sauce on the McRib? My best guess, to mask the taste of the burger "meat". Then, they try, and fail, to cover up the sweetness by adding onions and pickles to the "sandwich". This, in theory, should work, but it falls totally flat. The onions are white onions, so the taste of those mixed in with what seems to be about 32 ounces of barbecue sauce is disgusting. You bite into this sandwich and you taste sweet barbecue sauce and very strong white onions. Does that sound good to anyone out there? (ed note: yes) It's almost like they thought, hey lets combine two totally different, exact opposite flavors because that will make the rest of the "sandwich" not so disgusting. Well McDonald's, I'm sorry to say, it only makes the McRib that much worse. The pickles are almost an afterthought. I've had very good barbeque, I try to go to Memphis once or twice a year just to have some of the best barbeque in the US, and they add pickles on the side, almost like a side dish. This works very well in these restaurants favors. But, the pickles that are on the McRib are sparse and add no flavor. There is 2, maybe 3 pickles on this "sandwich" and you can barely even taste them. They are just slapped on there as if to say, lets add more shit to this sandwich because it's not gross enough.

After finishing my half, I said to my wife, "well, I tried it and I will never eat one again. That was foul". She agreed, but she wasn't as harsh on it as I was. I was so upset at how terrible this "sandwich" had become to me. Also, why is it a seasonal item? Why does it only come around once or twice a year? Does the McRib really have a big enough fan base that McDonald's can have it come and go as they please? I don't know the answers to these questions. It reminds me of Starbucks and their Pumpkin Spice Latte. This was another seasonal item I tried this year that was way too sweet and left me feeling terrible after drinking it. It was just as sweet as the McRib, but in a different way. I felt like I was drinking pumpkin pie and that's not the way pumpkin pie should be consumed. Pumpkin pie should be eaten, not drank. Just like ribs should be eaten bone in, not smushed together into one single, edible patty. Both the Pumpkin Spice Latte and the McRib are terrible, terrible products that need to go away forever. I know a lot of people may like these two things, but I don't. They're too sweet and taste pretty awful. I'm more bummed about the McRib though.

 I absolutely adored the McRib as a teenager, but as an adult, it does absolutely nothing except make me feel awful after I eat it. I guess that's how it goes as you grow up though. Tastes change and you find new things you like and old things you loved are no good anymore. From now on, I'll stick with my quarter pounder with cheese whenever those few and far between moments I get lunch or dinner at McDonalds. No more McRibs for me.

Not now, not ever.

(Ed note: We believe in letting all voices be heard. I strongly disagree with Ty and can only say that the sloppy fake meat seasonal treat from McDonald's is a delight. Ty's taste buds did not become more refined, they became more wrong. Long live the McRib.)

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He is looking forward to McDonald's Shamrock Shake with extra green flavor. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

What is real food?

Created by man or by nature?

Some folks seem to be up in arms today because of a vote in the House on GMO labeling. In a 275-150 vote, the House passed HR 1599, the Safe and Accurate Food Labeling Act of 2015. Rep. K. Michael Conaway (R-TX) issued a statement today about the passing of this act saying, “Advances in technology have allowed the U.S. to enjoy the safest, highest quality, most abundant, diverse and affordable supply of food and fiber mankind has ever known. With the world’s population expected to reach 10 billion by 2050, biotechnology is an essential tool for our farmers to meet this demand in an environmentally sound, sustainable, and affordable way. Unfortunately, proposed Federal and State laws threaten this innovation by generating a patchwork of differing labeling requirements, which will result in inconsistent and confusing information for consumers and interfere with interstate commerce. H.R. 1599 establishes a voluntary nation-wide marketing program that gives consumers access to consistent, reliable information while protecting advancements in food production technology and innovation.”

I spent some of my morning reading HR 1599. In my reading I noticed that foods containing any genetically engineered element may be required to be labeled as genetically engineered if they contain “a material difference in the functional, nutritional, or compositional characteristics, allergenicity, or other attributes between the food so produced and its comparable food”. To me this makes sense. If there is no real difference in the product, no need to make an extra cost and confusion to the consumer by pointing out how it was produced. Analogously I do not need to know whether the peanuts used to make my peanut butter were crushed by hand or a machine if the end product is the same.

One of the things this bill was intended to do was to create a nationally unified labeling system. With individual states having different labeling requirements, there presents a problem for companies who ship product to multiple states with differing and contradictory labeling requirements. Having this kind of labeling fiasco would just drive up costs for the consumer while confusing the consumer all the more.

Many are saying that this new bill creates a ban on the consumer receiving adequate access to knowledge about their food. It seems to be causing more clarity to have a unified system that the interested consumer can understand. The alternative is for them to seek out a lot of conflicting information driven by the “natural” food lobbies in each state.

The producers of food who work hard to make sure there are no genetically engineered components in their product have an interest in scaring the consumer away from genetic innovation. They are big business just like any other. So requiring labels on all genetically engineered food regardless of its functional, nutritional, allergenic, etc. similarities seems to only be an attempt to use government to influence the market in their favor. If their food is “natural”, they are free to label it as such, but requiring other companies to use labels which enhance their own marketing tactics is deceitful.

The fact is, these means of production mean a higher yield per acre and less use of potentially harmful chemicals. One can bring up monoculture as a legitimate concern. One which needs to be addressed. But attempting to kill off the benefits of genetic engineering on the whole is not the way to do that. Testing should also be done on these and all foods to make sure they are safe. Since genetically modified foods are some of the most thoroughly tested, I have no concerns here.

Still, many people are concerned. Some fear that we will get too carried away and cause lasting and irreversible harm to our food sources and thus to humanity. I agree that some of the details within the realm of genetically modified foods may need more attention. Such as the patent system and how it affects the way certain agriculture companies do business or monoculture as I have already mentioned. But the solution is not to scare the consumer away from the process outright. What do you think?

Kirk Aug

Kirk writes about science, technology, and whatever else can catch his fancy. He is currently enjoying a snack and forgot to read the label. Follow him on twitter @kirkaug.