The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.
Day 8: "The Simpsons - Grift of the Magi"
Original air date - December 19th, 1999
Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven
Every holiday season there is some kind of toy that is the must have for children everywhere. We have had, going all the way back to the baby boomer's day, the pet rock. Cabbage patch kids were a big deal when I was a kid. My wife, who is one day younger than me, had to have an American girl doll. The Zu Zu pet was a big deal a few years back. There was a dancing Elmo, that also hugged you, when my son was 2. There have been hundreds of toys that are the must get. The one I remember the best was the Furby. It was some weird mixture of a hamster, a gremlin, an alien, it was just a hodgepodge of things that were fury. This was the toy to have for children. I remember searching and searching for my nieces when this toy came out.
All this leads me to a great "Simpsons" episode that I wanted to write about today for SeedSing's Advent Calendar of great holiday television episodes. The episode in particular is the one with the Funzo, but there is so much more to unfold. This is one of my all time favorite episodes of "The Simpsons". The episode starts out with Springfield Elementary being nearly shut down. They don't have enough money to keep the school going, but at the last minute a corporation comes in and saves the day. They buy out the school and replace all the teachers with their own workers. Some of the kids love this change of pace. Bart is thriving with this new staff. As he says during the episode, "teacher says I'm kicking books at a 10th grade level. But, not all students, really just Lisa, feel like they are being challenged academically. Lisa is very skeptical of this new staff. She mentions that something just doesn't feel right and questions why the guest speaker was, "Jan from marketing". At one point, she is caught doing equations, and she is disciplined with having to write on the chalkboard, a la what Bart does during the theme song.
Other things happen before Lisa gets in trouble. As I said, Bart is thriving. Milhouse, Nelson and Martin all feel like they are contributing when they are asked questions about what they like in a new toy. Ralph does not know what he is doing, as per usual, and even his new teacher, who says that there are no right or wrong answers, yells at him because she is annoyed. While the new staff is trying to figure out what kids want in a new toy, the children yell stuff like, "it needs to be cuddly", and "it needs to have lots of firepower". The corporate big wigs are very confused and frustrated because they do not know what to make. During class, when Lisa is found to be doing actual school work, the teacher asks her to suggest some names for a new toy, and the teacher wants her to use the word "fun" in the title. She says fungus, fun stuff and when she lands on Funzo, the company people love it.
Now, back to Lisa's punishment. She is writing on the chalkboard when Bart walks in and says one of the best lines ever written in television history. He proclaims to his sister, "Lisa in trouble?! The ironing is delicious!". I love this line. I say it all the time. Then Lisa corrects Bart, and as he is gloating and walking out of the room, he cuts off the lights. Lisa is annoyed, but she notices a light coming from the side of the chalkboard. She goes to explore this light and stumbles upon corporate notes and a very bare bones model of the Funzo. She is shocked by what she has found.
Immediately the Funzo becomes the toy to have. The company has made thousands of Funzo's and they sell like hot cakes. Moe and Lenny don't even wait for the store to open to buy one, they just smash the window. The corporate execs are thrilled with what they are seeing. Everyone in town wants, or already has a Funzo, even Bart. Bart loves this new toy. Lisa admits it's cute, but she says it can never replace her Malibu Stacey. At this point, while Bart is shopping for all the accessories that come with the Funzo, we come to realize that the Funzo was made to destroy all other toys. Funzo rips off Malibu Stacey's head and chokes out a talking Krusty doll, in another hilarious scene in this episode.
Bart and Lisa decide then and there that they need to tell the corporation that this toy needs to be taken off the market, and this is where this episode goes from great to classic. When Bart and Lisa show up at the office, they run into the security guard, voiced by Gary Coleman. Bart and Lisa crawl to try and get away from him. They both stop when they hear Coleman talking on a telephone, complaining that he did not get enough prawns in his Galaxy of Prawns order from a Chinese restaurant. His exact words are, "3 prawns is hardly a galaxy". Lisa continues to move on, urging Bart to come with her, but Bart says he wants to stay to see what happens. This is when we realize that Coleman is not even on the phone. In fact, the phone is unplugged. After Bart realizes this, Coleman continues with his "call", and after he is through complaining about the lack of prawns, he is on to his "conversation" with the president. When Lisa and Bart make their way to the 2 people running the company, they are both mad at Coleman, and Lindsay Nagel goes to fire him. She tells him that his service is no longer needed, and Coleman says, "What you talking about Ms. Nagel?". She loves this, calling it adorable, and tells him he is rehired. Then Coleman says, "Ha! I knew exactly what she was talking about!". Awesome.
Now Lisa and Bart are urging the company to shut down the Funzo, but they are making money hand over fist, and they bristle at this idea and tell Lisa and Bart to leave. They decide now that they need Homer's help to stop this toy from destroying every other toy. Homer happily obliges, counting the number of times he has saved and ruined Christmas. Homer goes into each home, while Bart and Lisa sing carols, and takes the Funzo from each Christmas tree. They then go to the Springfield Tire Fire to dispose of the Funzo's, but they are met by Coleman, and they all have a very long and thoughtful chat on ethics and making money the right and wrong way. When they are finally done conversing, they realize it is Christmas morning. Homer, Lisa and Bart are on their way home, and they see a sulking Coleman. It seems like he needs somewhere to go on Christmas. Homer invites him over to their house, but Coleman scoffs at first, saying he has to go to George Clooney's house. Lisa calls him out on this lie, and he ends up at the Simpsons house.
The best part is the very end of this episode. They go through the things that have happened, such as, Mr. Burns finding some extra money in his coat pocket, so he keeps the school going, and Moe shows up with a goose that he cooked, instead of ending his life by putting his head in an oven. When Moe arrives, he says that he dinged up the Jeep that is out front, and Coleman says to him, "What you talkin about Moe?", and everyone laughs. Coleman then turns to the main camera and says "What you talkin about everyone?!", and the episode ends there. It is so funny.
I love this particular episode for many reasons, but Coleman's performance is the best part, by far. This is a must watch during the holidays for me and my family, and I suggest that everyone else out there go watch this episode. It is a true classic.
Ty
Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He desperately wants a mini NES for Christmas. One with lots of firepower. Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.
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