SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Holiday Television Programs: Day 19 "The Office - Christmas Party"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 19: "The Office - Christmas Party"

Original air date - December 6th, 2005 

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen,  Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen

For SeedSing's Advent Calendar of great holiday TV shows, today I'm going to write about one of my all-time favorite episodes of the American version of "The Office". The episode is simply titled, "Christmas Party", and it takes place in what most everybody believes is their best season, the second.

The episode starts like most, with one on one interviews, and we can see that Dunder Mifflin is decorated for the season. They have a big tree, lots of wreaths, holly, all the things you'd expect when walking into any office during the holiday's. We get an early interview with Jim(John Krasinski), talking about how he finally got Pam(Jenna Fischer) for secret Santa. They have always done a secret Santa at Dunder Mifflin, and Jim, apparently, has never gotten his true love, Pam before. This was well before they were married and had kids and everything, so I think it was great for the writers to have this as one of the main stories in this episode. Later, while speaking with Jim, Michael Scott(Steve Carrell) reveals to him that he got his favorite person in the office, Ryan(BJ Novak), for secret Santa. He proclaims that he spent a lot of dough and went all out because he wanted this party to be extra special. Jim says he thought there was a 20 dollar limit, but we all know Michael to be a bit of a spender and a pest.

When all the workers gather around the tree to do secret Santa, that is when this episode goes from good to great. At first, all is well.  Oscar(Oscar Nunez) gets the shower radio he wanted from his secret Santa, Kelly(Mindy Kaling). Jim gets his gift from Creed(Creed Bratton), which is just one of his old shirts, because Creed is never prepared for anything. Oscar has a gift for Creed, but he doesn't know anything about him, assumes he is Irish, and gets him a four-leaved clover keychain. Then, it is Pam's turn, and she opens her gift, which is a teapot that she has pointed out to Jim many, many times. He not only remembers to get her this teapot, but he also stuffs it with some inside jokes and a note telling her how he truly feels about her. She is very happy, and Jim is pleased with the great job he has done. Then we get to Ryan. He opens his present, and it is a video iPod. For those of you that are even younger than me, back then, in the early to mid-2000's, a video iPod was a big deal, and pretty expensive. It is so expensive in fact, they say that it cost 400 dollars for Michael to buy it, because of course he left the price tag on. After all the initial shock, it is now Michael's turn to open his present from Phyllis(Phyllis Smith). He opens the paper to reveal a homemade oven mitt. It is a very thoughtful and very nice gift, and just what secret Santa should be all about, but Michael is unhappy. He is so upset that Phyllis did not spend a single penny on his gift. He throws his Santa hat off and madly storms into the hallway to let the camera crew knows how he feels about Phyllis' gift. After a minute or so, the other workers ask if they should just continue to open gifts, and Dwight(Rainn Wilson), says no one does anything until Michael says so.

Michael comes back after about 5 minutes and declares that they are going to play a game called "Yankee Swap". The game consists of people deciding if they want to steal a present, open a new present or just keep what they have. We all know this game. Others call it "White Elephant" or "Nasty Christmas". The game is brutal, and shows people's true feelings. This is exactly what Michael wants, because it means everyone will want the iPod he bought. The game starts, and of course the iPod is the hot item. Everyone is trading for it, even Pam. When Pam takes it the first time, Jim is noticeably upset, but Pam says to him, "I mean, it's an iPod". Brutal and to the point. After awhile, Phyllis leaves the room after Michael bad mouths her gift and convinces Meredith(Kate Flannery) to take it. Michel tries to "explain" reverse psychology to the audience before this happens, and it is hilarious. Go watch it now. After Phyllis leaves, Michael asks what is wrong with her, and the rest of the workers tell him it is because he bought a very expensive gift, then bad mouthed all the other gifts.

Michael feels bad, and tries to make up for his mistake, but he makes it worse by telling everyone that he got a big bonus for firing someone, and this just makes everyone even madder. They all leave the circle around the tree, and Michael is despondent. Michael leaves to go get alcohol for the party because he thinks this will make everything better.

While he is at the liquor store, we get shots of everyone trying to get the gifts they truly want. Everyone wants the iPod, but Pam has it, and she loves it. She is smitten. Jim is trying everything he can to get the teapot back, Dwight has it now, but he just cannot convince him. Dwight claims he will use it for sinus infections, and that makes Jim even more upset. At one point, we see Dwight looking through the teapot, and he fins all the inside jokes. Pam sees this from a distance, and she starts to realize that Jim went through a whole lot to get this gift specifically for her.

Michael returns, with 15 bottles of vodka, and now the Christmas party truly begins. They aren't supposed to have alcohol, but no one truly cares, as I expect most real life offices would do the same. The vodka does help. People start to have fun, no one is mad at Michael anymore. At one point, Michael proclaims that Ryan is the "king of the party planning committee", because he found some shot glasses. Even Todd Packer(David Koechner) shows up, with mistletoe on his groin. During the party, Jim walks over to Pam, who looks like she is working, to tell her she doesn't have to answer phones at a party, but we come to realize that she has traded gifts with Dwight. Jim is thrilled and tells her that there is more to the gift than just the tea pot. He and Pam talk about all the inside jokes in the tea pot, but Jim slyly takes the note away and puts it in his pocket before Pam can get to it. We even get to meet Phyllis' boyfriend for the first time, Bob Vance, and his interaction with 3 of the workers is great. After the party they all decide that they are going to go to a bar for an after party, and they even invite Michael, who never gets invited to anything. Before they leave though, Meredith approaches Michael and takes off her shirt. Michael does not reciprocate the feelings, but it is pretty funny. I put this part in because it is the first true time we see how drunk Meredith acts. This becomes a running gag throughout the show.

This particular episode of "The Office" is great. They always brought their A game to the holiday episodes, but this was the first, and, in my opinion, the best. It is a classic.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He did not have any drinks at the SeedSing holiday party, but he did clean his sinuses with a teapot. Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 18 - "A Very Murray Christmas"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 18: "A Very Murray Christmas"

Original air date - December 4th, 2015 

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen,  Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen

The Holiday season can be very lonely for some. In today's economy, many people will find themselves away from family and friends around Christmas. Even worse, some of us will be trying to get home, but the unpredictable December weather will bring some cataclysmic storm that will strand us where we stand. Sometimes the best thing to do when we are alone on Christmas is to find the nearest bar, and drink with your temporary holiday family.

Netflix got into the musical holiday Christmas special business with their 2015 release of A Very Murray Christmas. The one-hour special, directed by Sofia Coppola, featured internet sensation Bill Murray in his own modern holiday extravaganza. There was music, drama, and guest stars galore. The entire ordeal was a call back to the Christmas specials of the 50's and 60's, but A Very Murray Christmas incorporated the cynicism of star player Mr. Bill Murray.

The tale is a simple one. Bill is waiting, with his piano playing buddy Paul Shaffer, to start filming a star-studded musical Christmas special. The problem is that New York City is being pounded by a terrible blizzard. Bill is not optimistic about his special going off.  His producers are typical smarmy Hollywood people and urge him all will be well. How could all be right, the guest stars are nowhere to be seen? There is no George Clooney, or Pope Francis, or Angelina Jolie, the snow has kept them all away. Even if Mr. Murray wants to flee, the show must go on. Thank goodness Chris Rock gets stuck in New York. Bill has one, uncooperative, guest star to sing with. Then the power goes out. Special canceled, everyone is allowed to let it all go.

Poor Bill is still stuck in New York. With trusted Paul Shaeffer by his side, Mr. Murray decides to celebrate Christmas in the hotel bar drinking with the staff. He encounters a poor almost married couple (Rashida Jones and Jason Schartzman) who ended up in a fight because the weather ruined their picture perfect New York Christmas wedding. Being the lover of weddings that Bill Murray is, he tries to make it right. He sings with the kitchen staff (Phoenix), he orders drinks, he brings people together. Once Christmas eve becomes Christmas day, Mr. Bill Murray has had too much joy, and drink, and he proceeds to pass out.

In his dreamlike drunken sleep, Bill lives his grand Christmas special. George Clooney and Miley Cyrus join him for song, dance, and general holiday frivolity. The entire event is what makes the holidays magical. Bill Murray did it, he imagined the greatest 21st-century-holiday tv special ever. It makes the fact that he wakes up with just Paul Shaffer, and his piano, to keep Mr. Murray company for Christmas day a worthy reward.

We are never alone, especially on Christmas day. The weather may trap us, or jobs may be our late December prison, but we will always find people to be festive with. So many people think they will find themselves alone on Christmas Day, but they will always find each other. Barring their company, we will always have the spirits of the holidays. The ghosts of bourbon, vodka, gin, tequila, and rum will let us experience the joy of the season. They may even help us imagine George Clooney and Miley Cyrus. That is a true Christmas miracle.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He has spent many times alone around Christmas Day. If only he had Phoenix there to help him out. 

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Television Programs: Day 17 - "A Very Sunny Christmas"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 17: "A Very Sunny Christmas"

Original air date - December 16th, 2010, released on DVD and Blu-ray November 17th, 2009 

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen,  Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen

The memories of our childhood Christmases tend to be filled with joy and excitement. Of course we do have a few friends who hated Christmas because their parents were not into the holiday spirit, but most of us have great memories. We got awesome toys, people came over to visit, and the day ended with some fun activities. As we get older, we start to learn all the things our parents did to make these great, or unpleasant, holiday memories. Sometimes these truths from our Christmas past will ruin our Christmas present, and make Christmas yet to come look even worse. Sometimes we are only left with a simple activity to take our minds off of the ugly lie that is Christmas.

In November of 2009, the long-running FX comedy It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia released an extra long episode on DVD and Blu-ray titled A Very Sunny Christmas. The episode had some harsher than normal language, and some animated nudity. FX was not ready to air the very special episode of the Always Sunny gang. With a few edits for television, A Very Sunny Christmas made it's television debut on December 16th, 2010 as the sixth season finale.

The supersized holiday special has Mac and Charlie excited for Christmas, but Dee and Dennis are not feeling the joy. Mac and Charlie love Christmas because as kids their parents made the holidays awesome. Dee and Dennis hate Christmas because their dad Frank used the joyous day to promise his kids great gifts and just end up faking them out with empty packages. 

This year Frank goes too far. He buys Dennis dream car, a Lamborghini Countach, and Franks intends to keep it for himself. He also carries around a designer bag, Dee's dream gift, and fills the bag with cheese snacks and chocolate. The Reynold's kids have been pushed to the breaking point and decide to pull a Christmas Carol scheme on Frank to make him change. 

Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie are getting more excited for Christmas. On a visit to Mac's home, the two lifelong friends find a videotape of a young Mac at Christmas. Here we learn that Mac's criminal father used to take his family from house to house on Christmas morning to steal other families presents. It was presented to Mac as a South Philly tradition where you would go to other people's houses and take their presents while they went to your house and got presents for themselves. Once Charlie helps Mac see the truth, their Christmas spirit starts to dim. They decide to head over to see Charlie's mom, she is always filled with holiday joy.

At Charlie's house, Mac learns about the Christmases of the past in the Kelly household. Every year a Santa. or elf, would come to the door. The gentleman would give little Charlie a present, then head upstairs with mom Kelly. Many Santas, and elves, would come to the Kelly house on Christmas day. Being confronted with the fact that his beloved mother is an actual prostitue starts to completely break Charlie's fragile mind.

The Christmas Carol scheme of Dennis and Dee does not go well. Frank's old business partner Eugene, a man that Frank swindled millions of dollars from, is a born again Christian who just wants to talk about Jesus. Their attempt to show Frank how much people hate him just ends with the nude elder Reynolds bursting from a couch he demanded to be sown into. Their attempt to show him a future gravesite also fails spectacularly. The lesson of Christmas was not appearing before the Scrooge-like Frank.

With their terrible realizations, Mac and Charlie are still trying to make Christmas merry. On a trip to a mall to buy an old friend a new shirt, and a cool toy, poor Charlie spots the mall Santa and starts to approach the jolly fellow. Once on Santa's lap Charlie has one question, did Santa visit his mom (the real dialogue was too hot for FX, hence the early DVD release). With Santa quite confused, Charlie lunges at the man and red and starts to bite old St Nick's ear off. The scene ends with a little girl in hysterics.

The whole gang gets back together on Christmas Eve night and decide that the whole Christmas thing is garbage. They vow to forget their troubles by getting drunk and forgetting about all the awfulness. While they poor the first few drinks, Charlie receives a phone call and tells everyone that Frank died in a car accident.

Once the gang reaches the hospital, they see Frank very alive. He was in an accident, but just hurt his leg. He tells the crew that he had a vision, one that looks a lot like the Rudolph animated special. Through the vision he wants to be a better man. The gang doesn't buy it and heads back to the bar. The truth is that Frank does want to be better and has decorated the whole bar, with his old partner Eugene, for the holidays. Frank is giving Dennis the Lamborghini, Dee gets the designer bag, Mac and Charlie get the new hot toy, everyone is about to have a great Christmas.

Then Eugene enacts his own fake out and pulls a gun on the crew. He demands all the gifts and blows everyone down with an industrial snow machine. Christmas sucks once again. The only thing that everyone can do to make this Christmas worthwhile is to throw rocks at trains. Why wouldn't you throw rocks at trains?

The idea of a perfect Christmas is a myth. The truth of how people pull off a Christmas miracle is filled with some dark actions. Most people do not have criminal fathers, or prostitutes for mothers, but we all have parents who have gone to extremes to make the holidays memorable. When confronted with the truth, we have a choice to make. We can try to make the holidays joyous in our own way, or we can bite Santa's ear off. No matter what we choose, the day should definately end with anice group activity.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He one time had an Omni Bot. That thing was the stuff.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 16 "The Boba Fett Cartoon Featured in the Star Wars Holiday Special"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 16: "The Boba Fett Cartoon Featured in the Star Wars Holiday Special"

Original air date - November 17th, 1978

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen,  Fourteen, Fifteen

Sometimes the thing we really want for Christmas turns out to not be that great. Maybe there was a big video game we were wishing for, and it was underwhelming. A new cool drone that crashes and breaks within ten minutes. A hoverboard that sets fire to your feet. Many times we have our heart set on something, and our anticipation is rewarded with shoddy craftsmanship. As we dig through the garbage that once was our wanted presents, we sometimes find something unexpected and spectacular.

It is well known that the Star Wars Holiday Special is an epic piece of trash. Premiering on November 17th, 1978, less than two years after the release of the original film, the holiday special was immediately greeting with disgust and disdain. George Lucas himself has wished for the destruction of every copy of the cash grab be destroyed. The story was idiotic, the guest stars were questionable, and the Tree of Life song was a special kind of stupid. The special only aired once, and has never been given a VHS, Betamax, DVD, or BluRay release. For almost two hours, the world was inflicted in holiday blues from a galaxy far far and away. It was mostly a major disappointment, except for a 10-minute cartoon smack dab in the middle.

"The Faithful Wookie" was a small animated feature that split apart the mind numbing stupidness of the Star Wars Holiday Spectacular. The animated short is most famous for introducing the bounty hunter Boba Fett into the Star Wars cannon. It is considered so influential that the 2011 BluRay release of The Empire Strikes Back has the cartoon remastered in high definition as an easter egg.

The adventure itself centers around Luke trying to rescue Han and Chewie from some McGuffin, and Boba Fett appearing as a helpful ally. The 1978 audience had never seen this character before and did not know what the armored man's motivations were. Unfortunately, we learn that Boba Fett is in contact with Darth Vader, and the bounty hunter is trying to set a trap for Han, Chewie, and Luke. The ever resourceful R2D2 catches Fett, and our new enemy uses his jet pack to escape, promising that they will all meet again. 

The ten-minute cartoon shows why Boba Fett has become one of the most popular figures in the Star Wars hall of heroes and villains. His armor is awesome. He uses the things on his wrist, and his jetpack. "The Faithful Wookie" features more dialogue from Boba Fett than what will come in the next two films. The adventure from our heroes is basic stuff, but the premier of this incredible new resident of a galaxy far far away was the only gift worth keeping from the Star Wars Holiday Special.

It is disappointing to get the new great thing and then learn it is a poorly constructed cash grab by some focus group driven idiots in a corporate office. The whole ordeal leaves a scar on what was once a favorite piece of pop culture. But, sometimes if we dig through the trash, we will find a gem. Sometimes that gem even comes in the mail with a rocket that shoots off of its back. If you find that gem, hold onto it, it is worth an obscene amount of money.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He was inspired to write this because he just got done seeing Rouge One. He is now hoping to get his very own Death Star engineer figurine in the mail any day now

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 15 - "Futurama: Xmas Story"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 15: "Futurama - Xmas Story"

Original air date - December 19th, 1999

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen

Christmas has changed a lot over the course of human history. Many Christians associate December 25th with the birth of Jesus. The earliest Christmas celebrations were usually pagan affairs. Many people associate the December 25th as the shortest day of the year, so a big celebration takes place to get everyone in a good mood. Today we look at Christmas as a time for gift giving and togetherness. What will Christmas look like a thousand years from now?

The Fox animated show Futurama imagined how a lot of the world would be like in the year 3000. Our hero Fry is from the 20th century, so things are very foreign to him in this advanced world. In the second season episode "Xmas Story", one of the things he gets homesick, or timesick, for is celebrating Christmas. Thankful the Planet Express crew, and most of humanity still celebrate the timeless holiday of Xmas, there are just a few things different. Pine trees are long extinct, so your traditional Xmas tree is one of the palm variety. There is still gift giving, but not necessarily from Santa. Santa is quite different in the 30th century.

In the distant future, society decided to make Santa real by building a robot that would deliver toys to the nice, and punish the naughty. Due to a programming error, being naughty was very easy to achieve. The majority of the planet was naughty, and every December 25th Santa delivered his punishment. That punishment came from the end of a few high powered guns. The new Xmas tradition Fry must learn is to barricade himself from Santa's carnage.

Not really knowing the severity of the tradition, Fry gets caught outside when Santa's reign of terror begins. He is trying to recapture Lela's present, a parrot, and Santa comes to deliver his Xmas purge. Bender is a big fan of the murderbot, but everyone else is fleeing for their lives. In the end, Santa has all the naughty Planet Express employees in his sights. All are naughty, except Dr. Zoidberg, he made Santa's good list. Fry's first new Xmas was about to end until Santa is tricked back into the chimney. Following a big explosion, the large built not so jolly robot is sent into the upper atmosphere. No more Santa until next year. The crew rejoices by singing the classic carol "Santa Claus is Gunning You Down" New holiday memories for Fry and his friends.

We get attached to the traditions of our favorite holidays, but time moves on. As kids we all bought into the idea of a jolly St Nick delivering toys. As we get older most of us accept the fact that the magic was largely an illusion. In the far future we will have the technology to make our fairy tale traditions come to life. The question is, will these new creations honor our dreams, or will they thirst for our blood. Happy Xmas anyways.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Next to Bender, he really wants to hang out with Tiny TimBot's creator. That person has some creativity.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

The Problem With "Any Given Wednesday" was the Not Ready for Prime time Host

Once again, Simmons is better heard. Let it go

Bill Simmons, who I am a big, big fan of, I need to say that before I continue, has been speaking publicly lately about his show, "Any Given Wednesday" being canceled. He has been making many, many excuses for why this show just didn't work out. I wrote 2 separate pieces, one saying the show was okay, but the second talking about how it looked like it was going to be canceled. After about 3 episodes, I started to see what others were saying about the show. Simmons' takes were stale, he was not a good host, the interviews went on far too long, his schtick wasn't good for television, that we had seen him already not do great on TV when he did ESPN's pre-game basketball show, everything they said, and as I wrote earlier this week, I do not like critics, but this was one of the few times they were right. His show just did not work out, and that should have been fine. Yeah, they canceled his show, and to have that aired in public has to be a bit embarrassing, but he is a world renowned podcaster, a great sports writer and seems to know how to run a website.

But, his comments lately have left a sour taste in my mouth. He has blamed everyone but the one person who deserves the most blame, himself. He has called out the producers of the show for giving him a bad day of the week to put out a show. He claims that his takes were stale by Wednesday, and he was already behind the eight ball when compared to shows like "PTI", or stuff on Fox Sports 1. He has said he wished HBO made it a monthly instead of a weekly show. I think that is a terrible, terrible idea. Who wants to watch one show a month about sports. I love, love, love sports, but if he is complaining about having stale takes because his show is on a Wednesday, imagine how bad and old they would be on a monthly basis. All the takes he would have given had his show been monthly would have been talked about a million times over before he released the episodes. And who only does one show a month? That is just a dumb idea.

He has also blamed the viewers for not watching his show enough. Well, when the show is not that good, why would you expect viewers to continue to tune in? The only thing that he had on his show that was even close to being remotely viral was Ben Affleck's drunken take on deflategate, and that was incredibly uncomfortable to watch. Other than that, he had boring interviews with people like Aaron Rodgers, Seth Rogen, Ricky Williams, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader, basically everyone that he had on the show was not that good, except for Vince Staples. I actually want Staples to get his own show, because I think that would work out very, very well. He was funny and comfortable on screen. But, juxtapose that to how uncomfortable Simmons looked and it made for bad television.

To blame the company that gave you a humongous contract after the whole ESPN thing, that is childish, and you seem to be poking the bear. Don't publicly call out HBO because they will bury you. It is not their fault that your television show did not work, it was your fault Bill Simmons. You can also still do other things for HBO, so I say again, stop complaining about them in public.

Simmons can do something like "30 For 30" for HBO, and make it even better. HBO has to have more money than ESPN, and I'm pretty sure that HBO has more viewers than ESPN. I watch HBO a whole hell of a lot more than I watch ESPN. I'd love to see you do sports documentaries for HBO. I think that would be awesome. You could make real documentaries too, that don't need commercials for funding, or anything like that. That is where you should put your focus instead of complaining about how everyone but you ruined your show.

All this brings me to my main point for today. You and you alone Bill Simmons were the reason that "Any Given Wednesday" did not work. You just do not seem to have what it takes to be a host of a TV show, and that is okay. But, this blaming of everyone else is childish and immature. Take the blame. You have so many other money making ventures, just bite the bullet on your show being canceled, and let it go. I love your podcast, but I'm getting annoyed that you have to bring up all the reasons that don't involve you being a bad host as to why your show was canceled. The most simple explanation is usually the right one, and the simplest reason is that you were bad on TV.

I almost feel like you are doing this just to have some kind of "hot take". That should embarrass someone of your caliber because you should be above the "hot take". "Hot takes" are for someone like me, a blogger for a small, but up and coming website.

"Any Given Wednesday" was a bad show and it was because of you Bill Simmons. It was nobody's fault but your own, and until you own up to that, people are going to continue to call you out, no matter how much you complain in public. I'll still listen and read your stuff because I like your podcast and your writing, but some people just aren't made for TV, and you are, unfortunately for you, one of those people.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Here is old sports takes on the X Millennial Man mini episodes. Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 14 - "Beavis and Butt-head Do Christmas Part 2: It's a Miserable Life"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 14: "Beavis and Butt-head Do Christmas Part 2: It's a Miserable Life"

Original air date - December 19th, 1995

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen

ed note: The first part of the special titled Huh-Huh Humbug is still great. It is a modern take on A Christmas Carol but this time a porno film features heavily. We have, and will have, written plenty on Scrooge-like shows. Today we will only focus on the back half of a must watch holiday program.

There is someone in our lives we could just do without. Maybe it is a co-worker, a boss, that terrible person in front of you at the grocery store, there is always someone who makes the world a worse place. It is not the way of a good person to wish death on this bad person, but we often times just wish they were never in our life to begin with. Without the terrible person, the world would be a much better place.

The 1995 Holiday episode of the MTV classic Beavis and Butt-head ended with the idiotic titular duo's take on the Christmas classic It's a Wonderful Life. The episode even begins with our heroes making fun of how dumb the source movie actually is. These guys know dumb, they spent the last few years deconstructing the still youngish genre of music videos. Their opinion is gold.

Like all great holiday television homages, this particular Beavis and Butt-head adventure mimics It's A Wonderful Life wonderfully. There's the guardian angel, the world without our hero, Butt-head this time around, and the happy ending, so to say. 

In this version, the world is a much better place if Butt-head was never born. Burger World has customers, Anderson has a yard Hank Hill would be envious of, McVicker has some rockin hair, and Stewart is wearing a Poison shirt, and has some self-esteem. To make the world even more nightmarish to Butt-head, Beavis is Stewart's lackey, and his former best friend is rockin a Winger t-shirt. Things get to a breaking point when Butt-head calls Beavis a bung-hole, and Beavis has no idea what that means. This is not a world Butt-head wants to know.

The guardian angel Charlie (or Charlie Angel as Butt-head calls him) tries to convince Butt-head that the world would be better without him in it. When Beavis reappears and calls his friend a bung-hole, Butt-head is convinced that Charlie Angel does not know what he is talking about. The guardian angel proceeds to fall off of a bridge into icy waters, and the boys stupidly giggle home to watch more tv. All is as it should be.

That person we hate means something to someone. We should be in a more charitable spirit during the holiday season, and we should not wish ill on others. Would you like it if your best friend was wearing a Winger t-shirt in your absence? Did not think so.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Beavis and Butt-head, along with 120 minutes, were the only places he could catch alternative music videos. He appreciates that.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 13 - "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 13: "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!"

Original air date - December 18th, 1966

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve

Sometimes there is something so popular, and for reasons one cannot explain, that thing will drive you insane. Ten years ago Justin Beiber was the big thing, and many people could not stand him. The same phenomenon is going on today with Taylor Swift. It is impossible to like anything from these pop culture sensations if you have invested so much of your heart in hating them. It does not matter if a large group of people like these things, your hatred is blind. The world you live in would be much better if someone took all of these songs and shoved them off of the highest mountain.

In 1966 Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! became an instant holiday classic. The previous year saw the debut of A Charlie Brown Christmas and two years earlier was the premier of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The mid-1960s was the golden age for holiday television specials. Since 1966, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! has aired on television every year, winning its timeslot regularly. It has more than earned a spot as part of the holy trinity of must watch holiday specials.

For those living under a rock, the story centers around a lonely creature who has chosen to make residence directly above a group of people he hates. The Grinch is akin to a modern-day prepper. His cave is extremely well stocked with all the necessities. He has scissors, red cloth, a sleigh, anything a creature would need in the who apocalypse.

Yet even in his state of preparedness, The Grinch cannot stand the whos, he especially hates them around Christmas. The whos make an incredible racket, cook non-canned food stuff, and all blindly follow the brain dead joy of Christmas. The Grinch is on edge waiting for the end times, and his hate has become downright irrational. This year is the final straw, the Grinch is going to rob all the whos, and then they will know pain.

The Grinch succeeds in his thievery, but those weirdo whos still get up and have a festive Christmas. This breaks the Grinch's brain, and he decides his years of lonely prepping were pretty pointless. Not only does the Grinch get in the holiday spirit, but he learns that a freshly cooked roast beast is way better than a 10-year-old can of creamed corn. 

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!  was not just a perfect adaptation of a classic book, it also had a great look and incredible music. Animation legend Chuck Jones gave the special its look, classic Hollywood Frankenstein Boris Karloff told the story, and awesomely voiced Thurl Ravenscroft sang the iconic song. Of all the great Holiday television specials, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is the only one that is perfect.

It is a lonely existence to live in a world where one rejects what everyone else loves. There is no reason to fully embrace that piece of pop culture, but you should not totally dismiss it either. In all of the stuff you hate, there may be a shiny gem that made the journey worth while. If you will not give the popular thing a chance, then you are just a common hipster, or worse, a Grinch.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He was a little under the weather today so he mustered up the strength of ten bloggers, plus two, to get the article written.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 12 - "Batman: The Animated Series - Christmas With the Joker"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 11: "Batman: The Animated Series - Christmas with the Joker"

Original air date - November 13th, 1992

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven

We all have some familiar comforts that make the holidays a special time of the year. When it comes to pop culture, we watch many of the same movies and television shows, and listen to a lot of the same music. Charlie Brown, John McClane, and Darlene Love are the faces and voices we crave for a few weeks every December. Since many of us do not work that hard at the end of the year, having our familiar pop culture is a welcome, comforting, relaxation. We want nothing to get in the way of our decades long string of watching the same Christmas-themed program.

Batman: The Animated Series was already loved by the views and critics alike when the show aired it's first Christmas-themed episode on November 13th, 1992. "Christmas with the Joker" was like a nice little present for the viewers. The episode starts with the prisoners of Arkham Asylum singing Christmas carols and decorating a tree. The Joker is invited to place the topper, when it is discovered that the entire tree is a rocket. In grand yuletide fashion, the Joker escapes into the late December night.  

Meanwhile, deep underneath stately Wayne Manor, Robin is trying to convince Batman that they should relax and watch It's a Wonderful Life. Batman is worried about the Joker having just escaped, but Robin really wants to partake in his annual tradition of watching his favorite holiday movie. The two agree to go out on patrol, and if they do not see the Joker, then they will return to watch the classic Christmas movie.

The dynamic duo do not find the Joker, or any crime, on the night of Christmas Eve, so they head home to fulfill the Boy Wonder's wish. Unfortunately, It's A Wonderful Life has been replaced by a live show featuring Commissioner Gordon, DA Harvey Dent, Gotham Reporter Summer Gleeson, and the Joker. The clown prince of crime wants to create his own classic Christmas moment of pop culture by playing games with Batman. He uses his hostages as motivation for the Dynamic Duo to go back out conduct some sleuthing on Christmas Eve.

Since Batman is the World's Greatest Detective, and the Joker is a crazy person, the former stops the latter. When the Dark Knight final gets a hold of the Joker, he tells him "Merry Christmas". In a perfect response, The Joker looks back and says "Bah Humbug". The pop culture of holidays oozes through all of us.

In the end, Joker's hostages are saved, the Clown Prince of Crime is once again on his way back to Arkham to sing carols, and Robin gets to watch It's a Wonderful Life. The spirit of the season even fills Bruce Wayne a bit when he admits that Robin's loved movie tradition has "it's moments".

The Christmas season is a special time when it comes to our pop culture. Certain movies, television shows, and music will always have a place in our hearts no matter what. We try to put off doing anything meaningful until we get our time with these gems. Thanks to Batman: The Animated Series we can now find time to celebrate our holidays with Batman, Robin, and the good old Joker.

RD

RD Kulik

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Up until Batman: The Animated Series we could only celebrate Christmas with the Dark Knight by singing about his body odor, car troubles, and the fact that the Joker gets away.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 11 - "The Twilight Zone: The Night of the Meek"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 11: "The Twilight Zone - The Night of the Meek"

Original air date - December 23rd, 1960

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Our lot in life helps determine our truest wish. Almost any good hearted person, rich or poor, will wish for kindness to all of their fellow citizens of earth. The wealthy will fulfill their wishes by giving to charity, donating their time, and finding other ways to enrich the poor. People who are at the bottom of the economic ladder will also want to help their fellow man, knowing that they are also part of this group that needs help. Some people who are very poor will be obsessed with helping their neighbors and do not have the means to achieve their wish. Many times these dreamers can only find their solace in the bottom of a bottle. If they, along with the rest of the meek, can not get at least one day of joy, then the dreamer can choose to weep or drink. Most of the time they drink.

In the second season of the influential television series, The Twilight Zone saw the first of the anthology series Christmas themed episodes. In "The Night of the Meek" Honeymooners actor Art Carney played the role of Henry Corwin. Narrator Rod Serling explains that Mr. Corwin is a normally unemployed man who once a year plays the role of Santa Claus at a local department store. Corwin starts the episode in a bar having finished six drinks and half a sandwich. When the bartender catches the department store Santa grabbing a bottle of booze, Corwin is kicked out into the snowy street on Christmas Eve. 

It was a good thing Corwin was kicked out of the bar, because he was an hour late to his job of being Santa at the department store. His boss, Mr. Dundee, is not pleased that his Santa is late and drunk as a skunk. Corwin can not even get through the first rotten child, terribly named Percival in the kids own mind, before he stumbles drunkenly out of his chair. Percival's obnoxious mother doubles her terribleness and tells off Mr. Dundee. With all the unpleasantness that just happened, Mr. Dundee fires Corwin's Santa and calls him a drunk. Corwin apologizes for his condition and explains to Mr. Dundee, and all the assembled children, that he has to drink or he will constantly weep. He is so saddened during the Christmas season to look around his tenement and see children who are hungry and have no toys to play with. Just once he would like to see the meek inherit the earth. Since that seems like an impossible dream, Henry Corwin must drink, or he will weep.

The audience witnessed Santa Corwin's weeping earlier when the poor children were asking for gifts, and for their daddies to have jobs. Knowing he has no choice to drink, Corwin heads back to the bar. The bartender will not let Corwin in because as he tells the other patrons, "Santa is a lush."

Left with nowhere to go, Corwin hears bells in the air and spots an old sack on the ground. He notices the sack is filled with presents and immediately goes out to search for the kids. Each kid asks for a particular gift, and Corwin delivers the exact wish. With his renewed holiday spirit, Santa Corwin heads to a church service at the mens shelter. After he insults Sister Florence with the promise of a new dress, Santa Corwin is giving all the poor men their exact wishes. A pipe, a cane, a sweater, a smoking jacket, all of it was magically coming out of Santa's bag. The meek were getting at least one day of joy.

The gift extravaganza ends when Sister Florence brings Officer Flaherty in to arrest Santa Corwin for theft. At the station Flaherty is joined by Mr. Dundee and the two men demand to know how and why Corwin robbed the department store. Santa Corwin is filled with joy as he explains that the bag just gives out the people's wishes. Mr. Dundee will not have it and starts berating Officer Flaherty while the store manager digs in the bag to only pull out empty cans and a confused cat. When Corwin asks Mr Dundee what his wish for Christmas is, the rude store manager says a vintage 1903 cherry brandy, that was a good year. Without fail, Santa Corwin produces the bottle and leaves to deliver more joy to the meek. 

In the end, one of Henry Corwin's fellow tenement dwellers remarks that there is nothing in the bag for Corwin. Santa Corwin responds he got the greatest gift of all, he was able to really be Santa for the night. With Corwin left alone, in pure and sober joy, he hears those bells again. As he goes to search out the sound, Corwin is presented with a reindeer-led sleigh and a joyful elf. The elf tells Santa that it is time to go and get ready for next year. Still confused, Santa Corwin gets in the sleigh and takes off towards the North Pole. Mr. Dundee, who is now drunk off of great cherry brandy, spots Corwin in the sky and offers cheers to Officer Flaherty for miracles on Christmas Day.

We all have our hopes and wishes around Christmas time. Those without want can usually fill their hearts with the spirit of the season by giving to any charity of their choice. The poor do not have this option. They see the want in kids and adults like and can only find solace in hard drink. They have their misery amplified by Christmas. But as mid-twentieth century philosopher Rod Serling says "There's a wondrous magic to Christmas and there's a special power reserved for little people. In short, there's nothing mightier than the meek."

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Want to know about the plight of mall Santa? Check out the great Fountains of Wayne song, "The Man in the Santa Suit".

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 10 "Doctor Who - A Christmas Carol"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 10: "Doctor Who - A Christmas Carol"

Original air date - December 25th, 2010

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine

If you had one more day to spend with the person you love best, what day would you pick? Everyone has a variety of perfect days, but most of us look at Christmas as being the best of all the perfect days. We tend to be surrounded by joy, and we are usually with good friends. Many of our problems disappear on Christmas Day. The only thing that makes Christmas Day more magical is having your special someone by your side. If you had only one day left, it would be very hard not to pick Christmas Day.

In 2005 the long-running British sci-fi series Doctor Who was brought back to television after being off the airwaves for sixteen years. Since the relaunch, Doctor Who has produced a special Christmas episode every December. Most of the time the Christmas specials would have a holiday feel. There have been monster snowmen, a wardrobe that transported people to a magical winter world, and a town named Christmas. On Christmas Day of 2010, Doctor Who decided to adapt the most classic British holiday story, A Christmas Carol.

The story kicks off with newlywed companions Amy and Rory on a crashing starship. Their craft was stuck in strange cloud formation surrounding a planet. The Doctor, played by Matt Smith, comes to help and learns that the dangerous clouds above the planet are controlled by one man on the surface. Here we meet Kazran Sardick played by Michael Gambon. Sardick is our Scrooge stand-in for this Christmas Carol. The Doctor learns that Kazran's father used to loan people money, and in exchange for the funds, the families would submit one of their loved ones to cryogenic freezing. The frozen person would not be released until the money is paid off. The Doctor decides that he needs to thaw the icy mans spirits, and since the Doctor has a time machine, why not pull a little Christmas Carol magic.

In order to pull off the Ghost of Christmas past, the Doctor goes back to when Kazran was a little boy and starts to change the man's memories. The young Kazran and the Doctor explore the clouds and learn that fish, and sharks swim in the skies. One adventure goes haywire, and a shark comes after the two. Everyone is ok, but part of the Doctor's trusty sonic screwdriver ends up in the shark. Young Kazran then convinces the Doctor to temporarily release one of his father's frozen debtor prisoners. The young women, Abigail, has a singing voice that can calm the sharks in the clouds. Kazran, Abigail, and the Doctor go on a shark-drawn carriage ride, and promise to meet up again every Christmas eve. 

Every year Abigail and the Doctor stay the same, but Kazran is growing one year old. During one adventure, Kazran and Abigail are around the same age and share a kiss. Their relationship grows every Christmas eve, until one time Abigail shares a secret with Kazran. That night as they put Abigail back into storage, Kazran tells the Doctor he does want to have anymore Christmas adventures. The camera pans away and we see a number counter on Abigails storage tank move to the number one.

The Doctor tries to reason with Kazran, but the old man will not let the crashing starship land safely. He is not concerned with the thousand of lives that will be lost. Companion Amy Pond is then projected via hologram to Kazran as the ghost of Christmas present. She explains that he can save everyone right now if he wants to. The entire ship is singing "Silent Night" to ease the ship through the clouds, but they can not control the sharks like Abigail could. They are going to crash.

Kazran says he does not care if they die, they should die. The Doctor comes again to try and reason with the man. Kazran tells the Doctor that his bitter nature is because of the Doctor and his adventures with Abigail. The secret she shared with Kazran all those years ago is that she is terminally ill, and the numbers on her storage unit count down the days she has left. Kazran understands that he is the Scrooge in the Doctor's Christmas Carol and does not care if he dies alone. His love for Abigail has turned him into to being a miser with her last day.

Here the Doctor reveals the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is Kazran himself. The Doctor has brought the young Kazran to the present and asks him if this is the man you want to be. The little boy is horrified when Kazran comes to hit him. Kazran stops his hand, and breaks down. He sees that his hoarding of the memories of Abigail has made him not enjoy those times past. Kazran agrees to land the ship, but his change of heart has made him unable to control the clouds. Kazran's father built the machine for the bitter person his son was. This new joyful person was not recognized by the "isomorphic" controls. There is only one person who can control the clouds, and that is Abigail.

Kazran releases Abigail, and she remarks about how he took way too much time to spend their last day together. She sings to the fish, the clouds break, and the starship lands safely. Amy acknowledges that she is aware that this is Abagail's last day. The Doctor remarks that it is, but her and Kazran gets one more perfect time. If only we could all be so lucky. The last shot is an old Kazran, and a joyful Abagail riding a shark-drawn carriage through the snowy clouds.

It is hard to pick what day we would want to be our last one with our best love. Many of us never think of the answer to this grim question. Yet somewhere out in the universe people on shark filled cloudy planets face this question. If we try to find that one last perfect day, we will grow old and bitter.  Do not be bitter, be joyful, and choose Christmas Day. You can never go wrong spending Christmas with the one you love.

RD

RD Kulik

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. If he could not choose Christmas Day as his last, he would choose May 11th. He has always had good weather and good fun on that day.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 9 - "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! - Koopa Klaus"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 9: "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! - Koopa Klaus"

Original air date - October 30th, 1989

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight

One of the very best things about Christmas is getting a great present. During our shopping sprees, it is inevitable to find something that you want for yourself. The desire to get that one great present usually turns into an obsession. For the few weeks leading up to Christmas, we can start to get pretty self-centered about presents. We sometimes forget about all the good feelings experienced by giving other people joy around the holds. Our selfishness can make Christmas a downright icy time of the year.

In the late 1980's The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!  was there to capitalize on the sudden popularity of the Mario Bros. video games on Nintendo. Each episode started and ended with a live action adventure of Mario and Luigi with their celebrity friends in New York City. Cindi Lauper, Norman Fell, Vanna White, and many other late eighties luminaries stopped by the Mario Bothers plumbing shop. In between these live action segments was an unrelated cartoon adventure of Mario, Luigi, the Princess, and Toad in the Mushroom Kingdom. The crew was constantly thwarting the evil schemes of King Koopa and his coalition of animal like bad guys (ed note: The Mario games had not named the main bad guy Bowser yet, hence the title King Koopa).

On the day before Halloween in 1989, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! presented an animated adventure titled "Koopa Klaus". The episode starts with Mario and the crew trying to dig a tunnel to HawaiiLand. Due to Toad's terrible navigation, they end up in the North Pole of the Mushroom Kingdom. Before the heroes arrived in the snowy landscape, King Koopa froze Santa's workshop and took Father Christmas hostage. King Koopa hates Christmas for some reason and wants to destroy all the toys Santa will be delivering. Our heroes decide to visit Santa's workshop on suggestion by Toad.  He is obsessed with getting presents. The Princess decides to give Toad his present early in hopes that it calms her servant down. Upon getting his new snowboard, Toad selfishly goes off to play. He never even thanks the Princess for the thoughtful gift.

The joy of Toad and his new snowboard is short lived, because King Koopa spots the crew and decides to attack. Our heroes see that Santa is a captive in King Koopa’s sleigh, and they all decide to save the big guy. Toad agrees to help, but not for Santa’s safety, he wants to save the toys. At one point, a bob-omb hits Toad and knocks him off the snowboard. He is concerned about his new toy, and the Princess scolds him for being selfish and only thinking of himself. Mario and Luigi use some good old platform jumping, some cave chasing, and other assorted video game moves to get Santa away from King Koopa and save the day.

Saint Nick was safe, but Santa’s workshop was still frozen. Toad is beside himself because he fears there will never be any new toys for the little guy. He then feels ok because at least he got a new snowboard, who cares about anyone else. The Princess tells Toad that Christmas is a time to think of others. With the spirit of the season finally coming into focus for Toad, he gives the snowboard to Santa so at least one present will make it for a Christmas delivery. The kindness of Toad’s gift causes the ice to melt, and free Santa’s workshop. Christmas is saved in the Mushroom Kingdom, and as a reward the Mario crew got to spend the evening delivering presents to all the toads, toadettes, and maybe even a few goombas and koopas.

Getting a cool gift is awesome. What we should not forget is that the feeling we get from giving someone a cool gift is what Christmas should be about. We will spend a lot of time in shops, or on the internet, looking for some great gifts. In our searches, there will be something great that catches our heart’s desire. This is not the season to be selfish. The joy of Christmas will be felt when you give someone else their heart’s desire. If your lucky, you will get that gift so someone else can feel the true holiday spirit.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of The X Millennial Man Podcast. He is still waiting for a game to feature the rad talking late eighties Link of The Legend of Zelda cartoon series.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 8 - "The Simpsons - Grift of the Magi"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 8: "The Simpsons - Grift of the Magi"

Original air date - December 19th, 1999

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

Every holiday season there is some kind of toy that is the must have for children everywhere. We have had, going all the way back to the baby boomer's day, the pet rock. Cabbage patch kids were a big deal when I was a kid. My wife, who is one day younger than me, had to have an American girl doll. The Zu Zu pet was a big deal a few years back. There was a dancing Elmo, that also hugged you, when my son was 2. There have been hundreds of toys that are the must get. The one I remember the best was the Furby. It was some weird mixture of a hamster, a gremlin, an alien, it was just a hodgepodge of things that were fury. This was the toy to have for children. I remember searching and searching for my nieces when this toy came out.

All this leads me to a great "Simpsons" episode that I wanted to write about today for SeedSing's Advent Calendar of great holiday television episodes. The episode in particular is the one with the Funzo, but there is so much more to unfold. This is one of my all time favorite episodes of "The Simpsons". The episode starts out with Springfield Elementary being nearly shut down. They don't have enough money to keep the school going, but at the last minute a corporation comes in and saves the day. They buy out the school and replace all the teachers with their own workers. Some of the kids love this change of pace. Bart is thriving with this new staff. As he says during the episode, "teacher says I'm kicking books at a 10th grade level. But, not all students, really just Lisa, feel like they are being challenged academically. Lisa is very skeptical of this new staff. She mentions that something just doesn't feel right and questions why the guest speaker was, "Jan from marketing". At one point, she is caught doing equations, and she is disciplined with having to write on the chalkboard, a la what Bart does during the theme song.

Other things happen before Lisa gets in trouble. As I said, Bart is thriving. Milhouse, Nelson and Martin all feel like they are contributing when they are asked questions about what they like in a new toy. Ralph does not know what he is doing, as per usual, and even his new teacher, who says that there are no right or wrong answers, yells at him because she is annoyed. While the new staff is trying to figure out what kids want in a new toy, the children yell stuff like, "it needs to be cuddly", and "it needs to have lots of firepower". The corporate big wigs are very confused and frustrated because they do not know what to make. During class, when Lisa is found to be doing actual school work, the teacher asks her to suggest some names for a new toy, and the teacher wants her to use the word "fun" in the title. She says fungus, fun stuff and when she lands on Funzo, the company people love it.

Now, back to Lisa's punishment. She is writing on the chalkboard when Bart walks in and says one of the best lines ever written in television history. He proclaims to his sister, "Lisa in trouble?! The ironing is delicious!". I love this line. I say it all the time. Then Lisa corrects Bart, and as he is gloating and walking out of the room, he cuts off the lights. Lisa is annoyed, but she notices a light coming from the side of the chalkboard. She goes to explore this light and stumbles upon corporate notes and a very bare bones model of the Funzo. She is shocked by what she has found.

Immediately the Funzo becomes the toy to have. The company has made thousands of Funzo's and they sell like hot cakes. Moe and Lenny don't even wait for the store to open to buy one, they just smash the window. The corporate execs are thrilled with what they are seeing. Everyone in town wants, or already has a Funzo, even Bart. Bart loves this new toy. Lisa admits it's cute, but she says it can never replace her Malibu Stacey. At this point, while Bart is shopping for all the accessories that come with the Funzo, we come to realize that the Funzo was made to destroy all other toys. Funzo rips off Malibu Stacey's head and chokes out a talking Krusty doll, in another hilarious scene in this episode.

Bart and Lisa decide then and there that they need to tell the corporation that this toy needs to be taken off the market, and this is where this episode goes from great to classic. When Bart and Lisa show up at the office, they run into the security guard, voiced by Gary Coleman. Bart and Lisa crawl to try and get away from him. They both stop when they hear Coleman talking on a telephone, complaining that he did not get enough prawns in his Galaxy of Prawns order from a Chinese restaurant. His exact words are, "3 prawns is hardly a galaxy". Lisa continues to move on, urging Bart to come with her, but Bart says he wants to stay to see what happens. This is when we realize that Coleman is not even on the phone. In fact, the phone is unplugged. After Bart realizes this, Coleman continues with his "call", and after he is through complaining about the lack of prawns, he is on to his "conversation" with the president. When Lisa and Bart make their way to the 2 people running the company, they are both mad at Coleman, and Lindsay Nagel goes to fire him. She tells him that his service is no longer needed, and Coleman says, "What you talking about Ms. Nagel?". She loves this, calling it adorable, and tells him he is rehired. Then Coleman says, "Ha! I knew exactly what she was talking about!". Awesome.

Now Lisa and Bart are urging the company to shut down the Funzo, but they are making money hand over fist, and they bristle at this idea and tell Lisa and Bart to leave. They decide now that they need Homer's help to stop this toy from destroying every other toy. Homer happily obliges, counting the number of times he has saved and ruined Christmas. Homer goes into each home, while Bart and Lisa sing carols, and takes the Funzo from each Christmas tree. They then go to the Springfield Tire Fire to dispose of the Funzo's, but they are met by Coleman, and they all have a very long and thoughtful chat on ethics and making money the right and wrong way. When they are finally done conversing, they realize it is Christmas morning. Homer, Lisa and Bart are on their way home, and they see a sulking Coleman. It seems like he needs somewhere to go on Christmas. Homer invites him over to their house, but Coleman scoffs at first, saying he has to go to George Clooney's house. Lisa calls him out on this lie, and he ends up at the Simpsons house.

The best part is the very end of this episode. They go through the things that have happened, such as, Mr. Burns finding some extra money in his coat pocket, so he keeps the school going, and Moe shows up with a goose that he cooked, instead of ending his life by putting his head in an oven. When Moe arrives, he says that he dinged up the Jeep that is out front, and Coleman says to him, "What you talkin about Moe?", and everyone laughs. Coleman then turns to the main camera and says "What you talkin about everyone?!", and the episode ends there. It is so funny.

I love this particular episode for many reasons, but Coleman's performance is the best part, by far. This is a must watch during the holidays for me and my family, and I suggest that everyone else out there go watch this episode. It is a true classic.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He desperately wants a mini NES for Christmas. One with lots of firepower. Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 7 - "The Late Show with David Letterman - December 19th, 2014 "

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 7: "The Late Show with David Letterman - December 19th 2014"

Original air date - it is right there in the title.

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six

Every year around Christmas we listen to the same songs and watch the same television shows. We all have our traditions, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. These little bits of holiday pop culture sometimes get us into the right mood during a cold December night. These annual traditions help us look back to other pleasant times we experienced during the holiday season. There is a comfort in looking forward to that one thing that makes our holiday season extra special.

David Letterman once famously said that it is not the Christmas until he hears Darlene Love sing that song. The song in question is the new standard (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home. Vanity Fair has a great oral history of how Darlene Love ended up on Letterman for almost thirty years singing her iconic song. That first appearance in 1986 was simple, and without pomp, but a beloved holiday tradition was born.

Because this song was - and still is - my favorite rock Christmas song ever, I was so elated back in Dec. 1986 when I heard David Letterman say "tomorrow night's guests include...Darlene Love to sing Christmas Baby Please Come Home".

The small band, and ugly holiday sweaters, had nothing on Phil Spector's iconic Wall of Sound, but Darlene Love still slayed with her vocals. Since that appearance, Darlene Love, Paul Shaffer, and David Letterman made (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home a fixture on Late Night, and then The Late Show. Only a writers strike would stop the trio from letting Letterman start Christmas. Many even believe that Love's Late Show appearances helped her finally, rightfully so, get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

On December 19th, 2014, Darlene Love performed (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home for the last time on The Late Show. In May of 2015, David Letterman retired from the late night game. Everyone knew that the December 19th performance was going to be the last, and nothing was held back. The four-piece backing band of 1986 was replaced by a horn section, strings, backup singers, and Paul Shaffer on a grand piano. Love even decided to belt out the last few lines on top of the piano because she was afraid of breaking down when Letterman came to give her a hug. The 2014 performance of (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home was an epic curtain call for a singer, a talk show host who was a fan, and the viewers that counted on Darlene Love to usher in the holidays every year on late night television.

Darlene Love's final performance of "Christmas, Baby Please Come Home" on The Late Show with David Letterman - Dec 18, 2014.

Our holiday traditions are something to be celebrated. Listening to the same songs, or watching the same tv specials, is what makes December a great time. We all have that one special pop culture thing that gets us in the right Christmas mood. David Letterman had Darlene Love sing that song. We were truly lucky to share this tradition with Mr. Letterman.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The holidays do not start for him until he hears Linus and Lucy.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 6 - "The Wonder Years: Christmas"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 6: "The Wonder Years: Christmas"

Original air date, December 14th, 1988

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

We all wanted that one perfect gift for Christmas. Many times that gift was made by Nintendo. In the mid-eighties there was the original NES, 2006 saw the Wii, and in 2016 we are all out desperately searching for the original NES once again. There was the Furby, Cabbage Patch Dolls, and Tickle Me Elmo that drove people crazy during past holiday shopping sprees. Sometimes we wanted that perfect gift to be a big purchase we have been holding off on. A new car, a big vacation, or even the latest and greatest in television technology could be the gift that makes that particular Christmas the most memorable ever. That big gift would consume much of our holiday spirit.

In 1988, "The Wonder Years" was early in it's second season. The show was coming off a Best Comedy series Emmy and was quickly being recognized as one of the must-watch shows on all of television. Baby boomers loved the nostalgia, and gen xers loved the characters. Kevin, Paul, Wayne, Jack, Norma, and of course Winnie Cooper were people we wanted to spend time with. The third episode of the second season was to be the first of many Christmas-themed stories.

"Christmas" starts off with Kevin, Wayne, and Norma marveling at the new color televisions on display at the local store. They have decided that for this Christmas, color tv is at the top of their wish list. Throughout the entire episode, the members of the Arnold clan find their own way to convince patriarch Jack that a color television would make this Christmas extra special. Jack acts in his normal sensible way, but at one point he even admits to wanting a color television. Is the price worth it, or even feasible, is what troubles Jack. Reality is not on display for the rest of the Arnold's, and the color television becomes the obsession for Christmas.

Kevin Arnold is not only entranced by the hope of color tv, he also is still pining for Winnie Cooper. While daydreaming of a moment with Winnie, she approaches Kevin to present the young man with a Christmas present. Her only wish is that Kevin wait until Christmas to open the gift. This moment drives the smitten younger Arnold to find a perfect gift for Winny. He and Paul end up at a mall so Kevin can find the right perfume for Miss Cooper. After many attempts, he settles for a simple snow globe. In Kevin;s mind, getting a gift is what really matters.

Like any good episode of "The Wonder Years", the third act reveals the folly of Kevin's thoughts. When delivering his gift to Winnie, Kevin learns her family has decided to suddenly leave town and not spend Christmas at home. In the pilot episode of "The Wonder Years", we learn that Winnie's brother Brian was killed in Vietnam. This was to be the Cooper's first Christmas at home without their son, and they decided to spend the holidays elsewhere. Later, Kevin catches up with his color tv obsessed family as the sing Christmas carols. In the middle of song, it starts to pour down rain on the Arnold clan. All the anxiety of the holidays washes away as Jack breaks out into uncontrollable laughter. The rest of the family joins the father, and Kevin realizes what real memories are made on Christmas. The best memories of the holidays come from being together and experiencing the unexpected. Wanting something does not make for Christmas magic, experiencing something does. We learn that the family did not get their color tv that year, but nobody cared. Winnie's gift to Kevin was a simple four leaf clover and the wish of luck in the upcoming year. This Christmas was memorable because of what was unexpected, and welcomed.

There is a very good chance that most of us will not get that new car, big vacation, or mini classic Nintendo this Christmas. Right now in early December we may hope for the unexpected, and unreasonable, to happen. Really though, chances are that the perfect gift we have in mind now will not appear on Christmas morning. The thing is that we will not remember this holiday season for  what we did not get. Something will happen, unexpectedly, that will put this Christmas into our own personal history books. We just have to let those events come to us.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is still interested in that mini NES. It would be an unexpected surprise to find one this holiday season.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 5 - "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 5: "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Original air date, December 6th, 1964

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four

Let's talk about Rudolph.

Usually I will talk about how our modern holiday struggles / joys relate to the television special I am writing about. Not today. Why? Well, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has no connection to what we see during our 21st-century pursuit of the perfect December. It is frankly an outdated story, with a message that is detrimental to the growth of society at large. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" should be an embarrassing relic of a confused time long ago, yet there is still so much charm to the television special. That charm is why we return every year to the tale of a mutant freak who one time saved Christmas.

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" premiered on December 6th, 1964. It was already a well-known commodity due to the popular song that was based on a famous poem from 1939. The famous animated talents of Rankin and Bass gave Rudolph and his friends their iconic, beloved, look. The hour-long special holds the distinction of being the longest continuing broadcast Christmas special in the history of television. Multiple generations of kids and adults have been subjugated to the great look, and terrible lessons, of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

The story of the Rudolph is filled with red flags. We have the father, Donner, telling his young son to hide his differences. We have the kids, and the gym teacher, laughing and excluding Rudolph. We have the benevolent dictator that is Santa Claus being angry and disappointed in Donner for creating a non-acceptable specimen for his sleigh engine. Hermey the elf not having a choice in life, he must be a toy making slave. The island of misfit toys being an excuse to discard anything not normal. The victory for the Island of junky toys is for kids around the world to be gifted defective gifts. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is an hour of terrible lessons to teach children. 

Yet, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" has become must watch in many families homes during the holiday season. The animation is awesome, and iconic, so that may be the reason. The song is catchy and part of our culture, that could be the ticket. I think the reason Rudolph persevere is because of it's archaic nature. Not accepting people is from a time we have gladly left behind. In 1964 Donner and Santa may have seemed normal, today they are downright comical. If Hermey wants to try something else, we celebrate that. The U.S.A. has long past the time of racist, uncaring, blowhards being the leaders we look to for guidance (ed. note: We wrote this sentence on November 7th of 2016.) We watch Rudolph because we know the red nosed reindeer, and his wanna be dentist buddy, will win at the end. They represent the society we evolved into away from. We rejected the idiots of Donner and Santa. Rudolph is our victory trophy.

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" will always be a part of my holiday viewing pleasure. I am old enough to see the terrible lessons, but still love the music. Children everywhere will watch it for the first time, and question the behavior of their beloved Santa, but they will fall in love the iconic imagery. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is like an Ayn Rand novel, something filled with awesome imagery and terrible lessons. It is part of our holidays, for better or worse. Plus, Yukon Cornelius is all kinds of awesome.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. This holiday season he only wishes for silver and gold. Want to help out? You can.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 4 - "M*A*S*H: Death Takes A Holiday"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 4: "M*A*S*H: Death Takes a Holiday"

Original air date, December 15th, 1980

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three

Christmas memories affect people in different ways. Some remember great joy during the holiday season. Some remember anxiety about the financial demand that Christmas puts on people. Most people experience a mixture of these two memories, along with a whole bunch of other happy / sad feelings. Others look at Christmas as a particular special day . We want everyone to be happy, healthy, and think only of joy. We do not want to think about death and starvation.

In December of 1980, M*A*S*H was one of the most watched shows on television and had recently passed 200 episodes. The adventures of the 4077th often time mixed comedy and drama. On the 15th of December, "Death Takes a Holiday" would be remembered as a great piece of television because of the serious nature of the episode.

The staff and doctors of the 4077th are getting ready to throw a Christmas party for a local orphanage. After learning that the food for the party was lost in an enemy attack, the MASH decide to donate their own food gifts from home to the meal. Everyone is a good sport except for Maj Charles Winchester, who donates very little. Charles was always seen as being snooty, so the rest of the unit believe he is just being a typical Scrooge.

What everyone else does not know is that Charles is upholding a family tradition in anonymously donating his chocolate bars to a needy charity. The Major later finds out that the orphanage sold his fancy chocolate on the black market. Charles is upset and confronts the director of the orphanage, but understands that the chocolate was worth a lot of money, and now the orphanage can afford rice and other staples for many meals. Maj Winchester wanted to give the kids joy on Christmas, but is satisfied to know that his gift allowed for a longer survival for the charity.  

The party itself is good fun, but some are absent because a mortally wounded soldier is brought into the MASH. Hawkeye, BJ, and Margaret are tending to the soldier, and quickly figure out that the man will not live. The group also find out that the man has a wife and young children. It is assured the man will die, but Hawkeye, BJ, and Margaret make a vow to keep the soldier alive until Christmas has passed. They did not want the man's children to remember Christmas as the day their father died.

The surgery is not going well for the mortally wounded soldier, and he dies just before the end of Christmas Day. Hawkeye goes to the clock and moves the hands until it is after midnight. He announces the death as 12:05 am, December 26th. Margaret says she has never falsified a record, and one of the doctors says she should, he informs the group that Christmas should be a time of birth. The group kept their promise to the dying man.

Terrible things happen to people every day. Many of us use Christmas Day as that oasis away from the hurt in the world. Christmas should be a day of birth, and joy, and togetherness. Unfortunately reality cannot use that one day to save starving orphans, or give a young father the chance to watch his kids grow up. What Christmas can give us are happy memories that will carry us through the bad times. The orphans will remember that an anonymous donor gave them months of food, and a family will remember that their father/husband held on for one more Christmas Day. Those memories will make Christmas special.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. 

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 3 - "Saved By the Bell: Home for Christmas Part 1 and 2"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 3: "Saved By the Bell: Home for Christmas Part 1 and 2" Original air date, December 7th and 14th, 1991

Opened Doors: One, Two

Going to the mall during the holiday season has its ups and downs. It is always very crowded, people are downright rude, and there are cheesy Christmas activities going on everywhere. Santa is patiently attending to thousands of scared, or overly greedy, children every single weekend. All the stores are playing the same holiday standards you were sick of decades ago. Untrained, seasonal, workers slow down the cash registers at stores people only visit in December. And if you are lucky, there will be a half-assed holiday pageant or play going on near the food court. Nine times out of ten, this production is an extremely loose interpretation of the Charles Dickens classic "A Christmas Carol".

In the early 1990's, the gang from Bayside High taught the gen xers and millennials the important lessons of the late 20th century. Lessons like staying away from caffeine pills, be nice to the hot girl in a wheelchair, and should you use dope? Nope. The lesson on two Saturdays in December was about how homeless people are real. 

Home for Christmas was a two-part episode that took place entirely away from Bayside and The Max. Due to this geographic change, there is no Mr. Belding to be seen in this extended adventure. Instead we have the kids all hanging out at a local mall for a variety of reasons. Kelly is working at a mens store to make some extra money. Jessie assisting Santa as one of his elves. Slater is wrapping presents, very poorly. Zack and Screech are not being employed, but they are still hanging around because Zack's mom is getting ready to put on a mall production of "A Christmas Carol". Lisa is volunteering at a hospital, but she also finds plenty of time to get away and join the crew. Shenanigans were about to start.

The craziness gets started when Zack and Screech discover an extremely well put together homeless man shaving in the mall bathroom. Later, on a date with a girl he just met, Zack remarks unkindly about the homeless man. The new girl promptly storms out. The whole crew becomes obsessed with the encounter with the homeless man. The girl Zack pissed off also happens to work at the same store with Kelly. Storylines start to connect after Zack sees the new girl wolf down a basket of fries. She was eating like an animal, not a classy early 90's socal teenager. We learn that the homeless man and the girl are father and daughter. This Christmas was about get real in Bayside California.

The story progresses like any other good Saved By the Bell. The crew discover a problem, hijinks ensue, a lesson gets learned, and our new friends get a better shot in life. There is the Scrooge-like character of the mens shop owner, the bratty kid who kicks Jessie, and the women rightfully upset about Slaters bad gift wrapping job. All of these people exist in large quantities in the real world, but in the Saved By the Bell world we have the Bayside crew to make it all better. The Scrooge discovers the Christmas spirit, the gang learns a lesson, and the homeless people get to live in the Morris house until next episode. A true god bless us everyone. 

Even if you do all of your holiday shopping online, and you should, it is always fun to get out to the local mall. The people are usually terrible, the kids are brats, and there may be less desirable homeless people in the bathrooms, but the Holidays are alive and well in these retail wastelands. The malls are also filled with teenagers, and some of them may be well meaning. If they lack in empathy, maybe they will at least give you a terrible rendition of "A Christmas Carol". The memories of that awfulness will keep Christmas going all year.

Ed Note: These Holiday music article are meant to be fun. Having said that, this is the most important time of the year to help the homeless in your city. Your time and money is needed to assist your local homeless charities. Contact the United Way to find a charity in your city.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He thinks if you are going to watch only one two-part Saved By the Bell that takes place in a mall, skip this one and watch the one where the crew buys U2 tickets.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 2 - "G.I. Joe: Cobra Claws are Coming to Town"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 2: "G.I. Joe - Cobra Claws are Coming to Town" Original air date, November 7th, 1985

Opened Doors: One

The holiday season tends to see a lot of people taking much needed time off work. Many companies are shorter staffed due to the large amount of employee vacations. The people left in the office around the end of December tend to be the people who do not particularly care for the whole holiday season. They may have no families, or they may not care for the one they have. Thank goodness for these people, because without them we would have no one to do any of the needed work during the end of December. Work like defending our nation from an evil terrorist organization determined to the rule the world.

In November of 1985, the G.I. Joe cartoon presented kids with a Christmas themed episode entitled "Cobra Claws are Coming to Town". The story begins with our real American heroes transporting a bunch of toys for a charity event, and then Cobra attacks. The Joes easily repel the attack, but Cobra agent Firefly leaves something with the toys. Once back at Joe headquarters, the team is getting ready to have Christmas dinner prepared by chef extraordinaire, and heavy machine gunner, Roadblock. Shipwreck, Blowtorch, Tripwire, Dusty, and Wild Bill are a few of the Joes all on duty during this holiday season. Cover Girl remarks to Duke that the Joes are a bit undermanned because so much of the team is off for the holidays. Duke reassures the tank driver that is all good because the Joes have an awesome laser security system to keep Cobra out. Everything should be peaceful this joyous night.

Roadblock's turkey is a big hit with the Joes, even Junkyard the dog gets a leg to feast on. Unfortunately. Junkyard's buddy Mutt is not feeling very festive. Duke chalks it all up to holiday blues. While walking off the blues, Mutt is ambushed by tiny Cobra troops that hid out in the toys Firefly left after the first attack. All of the Cobra high command along with a bunch of troops were shrunk down and made it behind the laser barrier by hiding in the toys. Once free, the Cobra troops are brought back to normal size by Destro's shrinking/enlarging gun. This holiday night was not going to be silent.

What follows is a typical G.I. Joe adventure. Cobra Commander has the upper hand, and can not lose, but he does. Destro invents a world-changing weapon, and once broken, we never see it again. Shipwreck makes lewd comments about a side of beef, and Duke is no nonsense. Oh, and Shipwreck's parrot Polly is shot with Destro's gun and becomes massive. With the gun destroyed, we never get any explanation on how this highly intellectual bird is brought back to normal size. This is what us kids wanted from G.I. Joe. Knowing the familiar plot beats was half the battle.

What makes "Cobra Claws Are Coming to Town" a holiday classic is the fact that it mimics all great Christmas shows, plus we have some kick butt red on blue laser battle action. Mutt is grumpy, then he is not. Cover Girl gives Duke a little kiss on the cheek and wishes him a Merry Christmas. Shipwreck is once again left dateless, plus he has a giant bird to contend with. Cobra Commander has to spend another holiday arguing with Destro and the Baroness. "Cobra Claws are Coming Town" showed that in the world of G.I. Joe, the themes of togetherness and teamwork did not take a vacation on Christmas. Work still had to be done while the small crew enjoyed Roadblock's feast, and that work was done to the same standard as the last 50 plus encounters with Cobra.

Many people are finalizing their plans for the upcoming holiday season. Offices will be mostly empty, those left behind may have the holiday blues, and work may seem a bit dull. Do not be fooled, the enemy may have revolutionary technology, and will use it to strike when your guard is down. Just remember, your coworkers who were also left behind will be there to have your back. Teamwork will make anyone's season sunny and bright.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He kept yelling out COBRA while writing this, but was calm when he repeated Yo-Joe three times. 

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 1 - "A Charlie Brown Christmas"

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 1: A Charlie Brown Christmas. Original air date December 9th, 1965

The holiday season can be filled with angst, frustration, and depression.The terrible traffic, the non-stop advertisements, the rude people, these all make December a rough month for many people. The latest, hottest, toys are overpriced and can never be found in the stores. Idiots are on YouTube complaining about Starbucks cups. Lexus is still running those moronic ads where some idiot buys his wife a new car for Christmas, and instead of divorcing the jackass, she jumps up for joy when she spies the gauche red bow on top of the car. Many a December night, people cry out in their minds "What does it all mean".

On December 9th, 1965, CBS aired the first, of many, Peanuts holiday specials simply titled A Charlie Brown Christmas. The special was written by Peanuts creator Charles M. Schultz, based on his wildly popular comic strip. The show was an immediate hit. A Charlie Brown Christmas has been shown every year since the premier, and the program has won an Emmy and a Peabody Award. The jazz soundtrack by Vince Guaraldi was also a smash success, and created one of the most iconic holiday songs ever. Multiple generations have grown up watching, and loving, A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Part of the appeal that is A Charlie Brown Christmas is in the tone of the story. Many shows that focus on Christmas are filled with joy and excitement. A Charlie Brown Christmas is slow and filled with big questions. Charlie Brown is frustrated with the Christmas season, and he acknowledges that the holidays make him depressed. Everyone around him is only interested in the commercial aspects of the holiday. Even his dog Snoopy is trying to cash in on the facade of Christmas. When Charlie Brown seeks counsel from Lucy on what to do about his depression, she informs him that his problem is that Charlie Brown is not involved enough. Lucy is saying that Charlie Brown should join the crowd and celebrate Christmas like they do.

The way Charlie Brown gets involved is by directing the other kids in a nativity play. Instead of the kids practicing for a manger scene, the world instead gets the greatest dancing ever committed to pop culture. This does not sit well with Charlie Brown, he still does not see the meaning of Christmas. Lucy continues her charitable work and urges Charlie Brown to go get a fancy, modern, tree for the play. The artifice of Christmas wins out over tradition again.

Many people will point to Linus reciting the Gospel of Luke Chapter 2, Verses 8 - 14 as the moment where A Charlie Brown Christmas reveals what the holidays really mean. I disagree. That is a powerful moment, and I am not a religious person, but the real meaning of Christmas is found in the tree Charlie Brown purchases. All the other kids are right to laugh at Charlie Brown, he purposefully bought an inferior product. The little, weak, tree did not represent the modern spirit of Christmas. It was not flashy, new, and exciting. The kids wanted a tree that matched their dancing, and their dancing was crazy.

The little tree purchased at the lot represents the bridge between a traditional and a new Christmas. Charlie Brown's tree was something struggling for life amongst the cold and commercialization of December. The tree represented that little bit of hope the shepherds were looking for in the Gospel of Luke. But while the story of the nativity is an old tale of mankind's hope, Charlie Brown's tree became an updated version of the Bible story. The simple tree brought light into Charlie Brown's dark holiday season. Even when he gives up hope again, the other kids adapt the tree to look more modern. What Christmas means to someone in 1965, or 2016, is not found in a Bible fable, it is found in taking the tale and modernizing it. The Peanuts kids took the simple tree, and made it fit with the time. The clothes that Christmas wears are flashy and new, but the heart can still be a tree that needed someone to care. A group of people quietly humming a beautiful hymn, in the late night snow, with a simple tree dressed for a modern time, that is where we find joy in the holiday season of today.

A Charlie Brown Christmas is the perfect holiday television program in getting one ready for the holiday season. The problems faced by Charlie Brown are the same ones we face today. Over-commercialisation, feelings of isolation, and wicked dancing, these things existed in 1965 and are still around today. The lesson is not to dismiss all the modern problems that have taken over the holidays, we should find a way to meld the traditions with the new, and better, things. The heart of Christmas may originate from a 2000-year-old Bible story that was about finding hope in a dark night, and that heart does not have to change. We can take the ancient lessons of togetherness and humanity and put a modern dress on it. There is nothing wrong with adding some wicked dance moves to the angel of the Lord's message delivered to the shepherds. That is what Christmas is all about.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He will also only eat February snowflakes. December flakes are way too sour.

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