Ranking Every Episode of "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero": Dinosaurs, Gods, and M.A.S.S.

Recently I went back to watch all 95 episodes of the original “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” cartoon series from the 1980’s. In the spirit of list articles, I went out to the internet to find a ranking from worst to best of the show. I found nothing. There were plenty of top ten lists, but no in depth list of all 95 episodes. I decided to do something about it.

Want to know how I came up with the rankings? Read my introduction.

Need to catch up? Part 1, Part 2

Today I present part three of my countdown of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”. Enjoy.

#48: “Countdown for Zartan”

Original Air Date: September 23rd, 1985

“One day Zartan, you will push me too far.”

Destro

 The very first episode of GI Joe that is not part of a miniseries.

The Joes are trying to protect an international peace meeting. Zartan infiltrates the meeting by kidnapping and impersonating one of the distinguished attendees. He gets caught when Spirit’s eagle Freedom goes after the Cobra master of disguise.

Many shenanigans ensue.The Joes psychological torture the Cobra mercenary by setting his clock faster that the bomb. Spirit and Storm Shadow fight. The Skyhawk vehicle is featured. In the end, the Joes win.

 The Good:

The first of a great series. Awesome to see the show highlight the abilities of Zartan and Spirit.

The Bad:

Nothing extraordinary about this episode. Kind of a letdown after the three epic miniseries.

#47: “The Funhouse”

Original Air Date: October 1st, 1985

“Your robots are lousy shots commander. Did you program them yourself?”

Flint

 A whole bunch of Joes are in this episode.

The team is working their way through a funhouse built by Cobra Commander. The Joes are on the mission because Cobra has kidnapped a bunch of scientists. Dusty and Airtight go one way, Alpine and Bazooka another way, and last, we have Flint and Lady Jaye.

Seemingly Lady Jaye, Dusty, and Bazooka are killed by Cobra Commander’s funhouse. The funhouse is screwing with the Joes, nobody dies. Zap shows up to bring his bombs to save the Joes. In the end, the Joes win, and Cobra Commander escapes in what may be the first look at a Firebat.

 The Good:

A lot of great character work with the Joes. We see how the different Joes skill sets compliment each other.

The Bad:

Episode with no real stakes. It seems goofy at times, then we have characters die, then they come back.

#46: “The Primordial Plot”

Original Air Date: November 12th, 1985

“What I don’t get is why is Cobra stealing dinosaurs and old scientists.”

Scarlett

 The plot of “Jurassic Park” years before the movie was released.

Like Scarlett said up top, Cobra is kidnapping old scientist. The goal is to use stolen dinosaur bones to clone a new group of dinos that will help Cobra destroy G.I. Joe. Cobra also has a growth serum that makes the newly born dinosaurs to grow up very quick.

Cobra succeeds, they make dinosaurs.

Flint, Lady Jaye, and Gung Ho are shot down over Cobra’s dinosaur island. The Joes make their way through the island, and Gung Ho is hungry. Thinking about Gung-Ho’s hunger problems, Scarlett realizes that the dinos want food. She uses her crossbow to shoot some provisions over to the hungry beasts.

In the end the need for food trumps Cobra’ s wants of a dino army. Gung Ho even joins the dinosaurs for a feast.

 The Good:

Another great plot. Best dinosaur cloning story we would see for years.

The Bad:

Sloppy Cobra scheme that is easily beat. How exactly was Cobra going to get the dinosaurs off the island? Once the full force of G.I. Joe, along with other countries’ special forces such as the Oktober Gaurd, get wind of Cobra moving dinos off a small island, the snakes plot will be quickly destroyed.

#45: “Red Rockets Glare”

Original Air Date: September 24th, 1985

“Call me Roadblock OK, not Marvin.”

Roadblock

Roadblock is taking a few of the guys out to eat at his Aunt and Uncle’s family restaurant. Unfortunately, a new burger chain called Red Rocket is taking over all the mom and pop diners. Doubly unfortunate, Roadblock’s aunt and uncle have become franchisees of Red Rocket.

Extensive Enterprises is the organization behind the new chain, and that means that Cobra is somehow involved. The Crimson Twins use hired muscle to force people out of their restaurants so Extensive Enterprises can take the place back for pennies on the dollar.

The Joes get involved.

Cobra Commander shows the world that each Red Rocket restaurant has a bomb attached in their rocket logo on every restaurant. Cobra launches Roadblock’s family rocket, and the Joe along with Tomax and Xamot ride the rocket. Roadblock stops the bomb, the twins jump away at the last minute, and Roadblock’s Aunt and Uncle get their family restaurant back up and running with their nephew acting as the cook.

 The Good:

Top notch action. A great personal episode for Roadblock. Nice to see the big guy cook since it is supposed to be a big part of his character profile.

The Bad:

Animation a little shoddy. Riding the rocket, a bit ridiculous.

#44: “The Gods Below”

Original Air Date: November 11th, 1985

“Can this be on the level?”

Duke

The episode where the Joes learn that the gods of Egyptian mythology are real.

Cobra is trying to find something in an old Egyptian tomb. The Joe team is there to stop Cobra. While going through the tomb, the Joes knockout some Crimson Guardsmen and steal their uniforms. They learn that Cobra wants the treasure of Set.

While the Joes are navigating the tomb to capture Cobra Commander, they end up in front of the god Osiris. He tells them their hearts must be weighed to see if they are worthy for eternal life. The heroes are put through a series of test where they all help each other and all seem to fail, but their comradery allows them to pass into eternal life.

Meanwhile, Cobra finds the god Set and pledges allegiance to the evil deity. Cobra takes Set’s treasure, but the evil god has tricked Cobra Commander and destructive weather begins to wreak havoc. At the same time, the god Anubis is transporting the Joes into the afterlife when they convince the deity to stop Cobra. The Commander drops the treasure, it is sealed in the tomb of Set, the weather stops, and Anubis dumps the Joes into the river.

Why did the Joes miss out on eternal life? Duke called Anubis dog face.

 The Good:

A story unlike any GI Joe tale told before. Shows the difference between how the Joes and Cobra think and act.

The Bad:

The Joes discover that the afterlife is real, and it is based on Egyptian mythology. It is never mentioned again. If the Egyptian after life is real, is Duke forever banned because he insulted Anubis? These are the questions that worry me at night.

#43: “Spell of the Siren”

Original Air Date: October 25th, 1985

“No, my former Commander, it is not treason, it is destiny.”

Baroness

In a fight underwater, the Baroness gets her hand on a shell, and Lady Jaye gets an old parchment. The parchment tells the Joes that the shell is the Conch of the Sirens. The Baroness discovers that the Conch of the Sirens will make men the zombie slaves of whoever uses it.

In a long overdue bid for power, the Baroness uses the conch to take control of the male Joes, and to get control of Cobra. Xamot, who has escaped control, teams with the Joes to save the men, if his brother is saved.

The Baroness has an army of lady Cobra troopers, while Scarlett, Lady Jaye, and Covergirl join Xamot to save the men. The Joes get the Conch, Cobra retreats. In the end the Joe ladies destroy the Conch.

The Good:

With the ladies in charge, each side seems to be better run.

The Bad:

Why in the hell did the lady Joes destroy the conch?

#42: “The Wrong Stuff”

Original Air Date: November 28th, 1985

“I pity the fool who doesn’t join Cobra.”

Mr. C of the C Team

I love the first two acts in this episode. In fact, the first act may be in the top five of GI stories ever. The end just does not do the rest of the episode any favors.

Cobra takes over every television satellite in space and replace all tv programming with Cobra programs. Shows like “Father Knows Beast”, “The C Team”, and “The Likeables” promote Cobra’s beliefs. Cobra is also gouging all the advertisers since Cobra TV is the only station on earth.

This will not stand. The Joes decide to put rockets on Skystrikers to knock the satellites out. It doesn’t work because Zartan and the Dreadnoks are on a space battle station with a giant laser. The Joes need another plan.

Ace runs the squad through space training to find his team. The Joes who make the cut are Scarlett, Lady Jaye, Alpine, Roadblock, and Wild Bill. Along with Ace, the team is launched on a rocket with Sky Strikers attached. The Joes break into the station. A zero-g fight ensues. The Joes are trained and the Dreadnoks are idiots. Joes win and get regular tv back.

In the end the Joes are get a visitor. Mr. C wants to join GI Joe.

 The Good:

Great to see the philosophy of Cobra through their television programs. The shows they highlight are outstanding and show the philosophy of Cobra. The training montage for Ace’s team is also great.

The Bad:

The episode is much better in the first two acts than in the last act.

#41: “Flint’s Vacation”

Original Air Date: November 13th, 1985

“This is going to sound crazy, but a terrorist organization named Cobra has taken over your town.”

Flint

Flint is going on vacation, did you see the title of the episode, and he is stopping overnight at his cousin’s place. Once there, Flint’s cousin’s family seem like zombies and go to bed right when the Joe gets there.

Flint learns the townsfolks are controlled by Cobra. It seems like the snakes are using subliminal messages through the tv news to brainwash the town.

While investigating, Flint gets caught by Zartan, and then the Joe joins the townsfolks in working for Cobra in an underwater base. Lady Jaye spots Flint in a Cobra Commander televised threat. The Joes go to rescue their comrade.

The Joes discover that Cobra is controlling the townsfolks with subliminal messages in the newscasts. The hypnotized townsfolks attack the Joes in the underwater base. Breaker goes to disrupt the subliminal messages. Everyone comes to, and the Joes and townsfolks escape back to their town.

Flint decides that vacation is too stressful, and he decides to head back to base. 

Side note: It is known that Larry Hama, the writer of the G.I. Joe comic, never watched the cartoon. This episode seems to show that cartoon writers read the comic books, because this episode is remarkably similar to the GI Joe comic #20 with Clutch in the Flint role. The comic even ends with Clutch cutting his vacation short because of the stress.

 The Good:

Flint wears his beret even in his civvies. Great action.

The Bad:

Another Cobra super bomb plot ruined by Cobra Commander’s hubris.

#40: “Haul Down the Heavens”

Original Air Date: October 4th, 1985

“Beware Lady Jaye, with so sharp a tongue you could cut your own throat.”

Destro

There is a problem with the Northern Lights. It seems like Cobra’s new weapon, the Ion Attractor, is going to pull down the Aurora Borealis and melt the polar ice caps. The Joes need to investigate, which means we need snow Joes and vehicles.

The Baroness is in disguise as a scientist helping the Joes. She double-crosses the good guys, and a battle breaks out. This is Snow Job and the Polar Battle Bear’s time to shine. In the ice and snow, the better equipped Joes win the day. The Northern Lights get to stay in place.

 The Good:

The episode highlighted the Joes, and their equipment, in the snow.

The Bad:

Cobra’s plot makes very little sense, but I’m no Aurora Borealis expert.

#39: “Pit of Vipers”

Original Air Date: November 27th, 1985

“We’re supposed to take orders from a pile of silicon chips?”

Flint

The DOD (Department of Defense in case you did not know) has ordered the Joes to use a new program named Watchdog. The problem is that Watchdog sends Joes all over the world to abandoned Cobra bases. Shipwreck is not buying it, and on an underwater mission he decides to ditch the Watchdog system.

Without Watchdog, Shipwreck finds an active Cobra base, unfortunately he gets captured. Meanwhile, Cobra has a giant drill called Pit Viper and they are sending it to the GI Joe HQ. With so many Joes spread out around the world, the HQ is barely staffed.

During a Cobra Commander video gloat to G.I. Joe, the captured Shipwreck warns the Joes about Watchdog. Breaker and Scarlett take over the Pit Viper and use it to tunnel through Watchdog, destroying it. Shipwreck escapes as Cobra Commander and Destro argue. The Joes win.

 The Good:

A really well thought out story. Awesome episode to show that Shipwreck is smart, and not just a doofus.

The Bad:

Another Cobra plot undone by infighting.

#38: “Satellite Down”

Original Air Date: September 25th, 1985

“Ortho, ortho.”

Primord Chief

A satellite is brought down somewhere over Africa, and the Joes are racing Cobra to get control of the downed orbital object.

Both sides end up being caught by the primitive tribe of primords, a non-evolved early form of humans. The primords are worshipping the satellite as a god and are going to sacrifice Lady Jaye. Storm Shadow makes a deal with the Joes to escape, but he double-crosses the heros the first chance the ninja gets. Things take a turn, Storm Shadow and Cobra attacks the primords, the Joes assist the tribe. The combined Joe primord team turn away Cobra, and the satellite is destroyed.

In the end the Joes leave the primords a television. After watching for a few minutes, the primords destroy the television and chant “Yo Joe”.

The Good:

Great Lady Jaye episode. The Bridge Layer makes a useful appearance.

The Bad:

The look and action of the primords can be seen as a bit racist.

#37: Sins of Our Fathers

Original Air Date: November 18th, 1986

“With Dial-Tone working for me Serpentor is as good as finished.”

Cobra Commander

 A sequel to the season one episode “Skeletons in the Closet”.

The show starts with a few Joes getting ready to have a night on the town. Flint tells Dial-Tone that the Joes have decided not to keep him on this time. The communications specialist is off the team.

Flash forward to a non-Joe Dial-Tone eating beans out of can in his men shelter like terrible room. A mysterious woman comes to hire Dial-Tone for a job. The job? He is to help communicate with something in a well.

Flint, in disguise, is watching over Dial-Tone at his new job. It seems that kicking Dial-Tone off the team was part of plan to get him to work for Cobra, and let the Joes know what the snakes are up to. Unfortunately, poor Dial-Tone just thinks his friends have rejected him. The mysterious woman ends up being Zarana working for Cobra Commander who wants the beast in the well, the one at the end of “Skeletons in the Closet”, to awaken and kill Serpentor. Zarana captures Flint.

Dial-Tone’s work is successful, the beast awakens. Flint and Dial-Tone escape, and the discarded Joe is welcomed back to the team. Serpentor and his Cobra legions attack the beast. Destro tells the Joes about an ancient chant that will attract the beast. The Joes use loudspeakers to broadcast the chant, the beast follows them out to the sea, and the Joes bury the beast under rocks in the ocean.

The episode ends with the promise that the beast may be back.

Side note: The chant that Destro gives the Joes is a sentenced played backwards. The sentence says “Anyone listening to this backwards for a secret occult message is a real dweeb”

 The Good:

A sequel to a classic episode. Awesome continuity. Incredibly cool personal story about Dial-Tone.

The Bad:

I wanted so much more story from the beast. That should have been part of the movie.

#36: “Sink the Montana”

Original Air Date: September 29th, 1986

“The Montana and I Serve Cobra now. 100%”

US Admiral George Latimer

The USS Montana, a Navy battleship, is being decommissioned. The ship’s captain, Admiral George Latimer, is not happy about it.

Before the ship is officially decommissioned, Admiral Latimer defects to Cobra and hands the ship over to Destro. Cobra gives the Montana some modern tech to stop the US Navy from sinking the ship. No modern warship can get close to the Montana. The Joes need old tech, so they steal the USS Constitution.

Shipwreck is hear for the cosplay because he is dressed for the late 18th century.

The Joes get to the Montana, Destro abandons Latimer, And Hawk punches and captures the Admiral so he can watch the Montana sink. Latimer is teary eyed.

 The Good:

Great story about a person from General Hawk’s past.

The Bad:

Why is an Admiral captain of a battleship? Why would an Admiral defect to Cobra over an old battleship?

#35: “Battle for the Train of Gold”

Original Air Date: October 16th, 1985

“There’s over sixty billion in gold in Fort Knox. With that kind of money Cobra Commander would not have to conquer the world, he could buy it.”

Scarlett

Cobra attacks the US Bureau of Engraving, where they make the money, and the only thing the snakes want is a tape. Said tape gives Cobra info on how to get the gold in Fort Knox.

Led by Zartan and the Dreadnoks, the gold is cleaned out of Fort Knox and loaded onto a Cobra bullet train. The Joes have to chase the train. Thunder knows a local guy with horses, so the Joes use the stallions to chase down the gold. We see that Gung-Ho is not good at riding horses.

The Joes stop the train, Zartan and the Dreadnoks escape, and Gung-Ho rides off into the sunset not on a horse, but on an Awe Stryker.

 The Good:

Fun episode with great Joe character work.

The Bad:

How in the hell is Cobra robbing Fort Knox this easily? How did they get easy access to the Bureau of Engraving? I am calling some BS.

#34: “Let’s Play Soldier”

Original Air Date: September 30th, 1986

“Don’t call me sir. I work for a living.”

Leatherneck

This is an incredibly social conscience episode of GI Joe. We are introduced to the dust children of Thailand. They are the left behind children of American soldiers. These kids are considered lower than dirt, hence the name of dust children.

The story focuses on Dr Mindbender creating a mind control gum using the sap of native trees. Leatherneck is the defacto caretaker of the dust children and trains them to be disciplined. The Joes stop Cobra, of course.

In the end, Leatherneck says all the kids can come to America to be adopted. The kids refuse because while they may be looked down upon, this is still their home.

 The Good:

An incredible and important story from a kid’s cartoon. Leatherneck is awesome in this episode.

The Bad:

The actual Cobra plot is not that great.

#33: “The Phantom Brigade”

Original Air Date: October 9th, 1985

“This is madness. Ghosts, in the service of Cobra.”

Baroness

Cobra Commander seeks the help of a gypsy who can call upon the dead to do the Commander’s bidding. The three ghosts called on consist of a Mongolian warrior, a Roman centurion, and a US World War I biplane pilot. The ghost attack with supernatural force. The Joes cannot stop the supernatural attacks of the phantom soldiers.

Baroness tells the Joes about the ghosts because she is afraid Cobra Commander may replace her. Wild-Bill shows the ghost World War I pilot an American flag to convince the dead young man that we are all on the same side. The Joes make a deal with the ghosts to defeat Cobra Commander and grant the spirits everlasting peace.

The plan works, and the Joes release the spirits form their ties to earth. In the end, Wild Bill sees the phantom World War I pilot flying off into the sunset. Yo Joe.

 The Good:

A unique story with a truly touching ending.

The Bad:

The ghosts are the star of the story. G.I. Joe and Cobra are largely just background.

#32: “Not a Ghost of a Chance”

Original Air Date: November 13th, 1986

“Twenty Questions brings you the answers.”

Hector Ramirez

Hector Ramirez, the Host of Twenty Questions, is back with an exclusive live interview between Gi Joe and Cobra.

Lady Jaye and Hawk are put in the position to debate the history of Cobra against Serpentor, Dr Mindbender, and Cobra Commander. The Cobra’s are at their base, and the Joes, along with Hector Ramirez, are in what looks like a studio. The investigative news program is looking at whether Cobra shot down an experimental US bomber or if they are innocent.

The plane, called the Ghost, was being tested by Frank Sullivan and Ron Michaels. Flint has an issue with the shot down Michaels. It seems Flint believes that Lady Jaye and Captain Michaels may have a romantic thing going.

“Twenty Questions” and Hector Ramirez prove that Cobra shot down the Ghost, a fight ensues, and the Joes are able to rescue Reynolds and Michaels. In the end, Flint learns his thoughts of Michaels and Lady Jaye was a misunderstanding, and all is ok between the blossoming love of the two Joes.

 The Good:

Every episode with Hector Ramirez is a worthy episode. Good continuity with Ramirez listing all of the Cobra plots of the past.

The Bad:

Flint is pretty damn immature in this episode. Talk to your lady bro before you start with the accusations.

#31: “Glamour Girls”

Original Air Date: October 8th, 1986

“Beauty is so often wasted on the young.”

Madame Vail

Cobra is working with a Madame Vail to kidnap a bunch of young beautiful woman. The town’s top model keeps disappearing, including Low-Light’s sister Oona and her friend Satin. Lady Jaye and Cover Girl go to investigate, but they unfortunately get hypnotized by a disguised Zartan and his special camera.

All the girls are sent to Madame Vail’s island to be part of an experiment where the young models face will be transferred onto the aged Madame Vail. The idiotic Dreadnoks use Zartan’s camera to hypnotize Zarana, and send her to Madame Vail’s island. Cobra Commander refuses to rescue Zarana, so Zartan helps the Joes escape so they can save the girls.

Side note: Satin, the lounge singer from The Pyramid of Darkness series and the genius behind the hit song “The Cobra That Got Away” makes a return appearance as Oona’s friend.

Low-Light’s sister Oona is selected to have her face swapped onto Madame Vail’s face. The power is cut, Oona is saved, and Madame Vail is left without a face at all. It is disgusting to all in attendance.

 The Good:

Great Cobra plot. Awesome personal story with Lowlight, his name is Cooper. The second season does a great job fleshing out characters like Lowlight, Leatherneck, Lifeline, and Dial-Tone.

The Bad:

More Cobra idiotic shenanigans. Why does Zartan tolerate the Dreadnoks?

#30: “Computer Complications”

Original Air Date: September 26th, 1986

“Geez, you sound like my ex-wife.”

Mainframe

This is the G.I. Joe version of Romeo and Juliet. Mainframe and Zarana start a silent love affair.

Before we get to that awesomeness, we have a story about Cobra trying to get control of G.I. Joe ocean robots. There is the matter of an anti-matter pod that the Joes and Cobra’s want control of. Zarana is sent into G.I. Joe HQ designed as an army specialist assigned to the Joe computer systems. It is here that Mainframe falls for the disguised Zarana. Zarana seems torn about attacking Mainframe, but after some goading from Zartan, she follows through with the Cobra plan. During her escape, a fire breaks out around an unconscious Mainframe. Zarana keeps on her disguised infiltrator role, yet she still saves Mainframe from death. Mainframe even reluctantly escape. Even with her good actions, Zarana is successful.

In the ocean, the Joes and Cobra battle for the anti-matter pod. Both the Cobra Heli carrier and the Joe’s aircraft carrier, the USS Flagg, sink into the ocean.

At the end both Zarana and Mainframe look at the same moon wanting the embrace of the other.

The Good:

Again, this is the G.I. Joe version of Romeo and Juliet. It is awesome.

The Bad:

The action of the back story will pay off, but it is all out of place in this great episode. Also, why did Mainframe let Zarana escape? I guess he believes your girl comes before your country. His actions are related to the sinking of the USS Flagg.

#29: “Captives of Cobra”

Original Air Date: October 29th and 30th, 1985

 “Seize the families of these G.I. Joes and bring them to me.”

Baroness

A two-parter that shows us the inner lives of a few Joes.

The story starts with a Cobra lab that accidentally creates super explosive, and unstable, crystals. The original explosion caused a giant boulder to move into position that may crush a town. The Joes go to save the town and secure the explosive crystals.

Cobra Commander wants these crystals and has a plan to get them back. Storm Shadow is sent into to infiltrate the Pentagon and learn the true names of the GI Joe team and who and where to find their families.

The Joes whose information are compromised; Quick Kick (mom and dad), Scarlett (dad and three brothers), Thunder (mom, dad, and sister), Shipwreck (aunt, uncle, and nephew), Spirit (grandpa and cousin), and Barbeque (mom and dad). Cobra captures most of the family members and uses a device to brainwash their captives, so they attack the Joes. When the Joes try to safely move the crystals, the Cobra captives get in the way of the Joes. Shipwreck recognizes his nephew, and the rest of Joes see their relatives ready to attack.

To be continued

Part two follows the Joes trying to not hurt their brainwashed family members, and also not have the unstable crystals explode. After a few ups and downs, the Joes families are freed from control and the crystals are destroyed before Cobra can nab them.

We do learn that one more Joe had their information compromised. Gung-Ho and his family (100+ members). The Baroness tries to capture them, but the Bayou group easily turn her away. Gung-Ho’s grandma does not care about the distraction, she is mad at her Joe grandson for being late.

 The Good:

Really cool to see the private lives of a few Joes.

The Bad:

Baroness seems extra psychotic. The crystal story is kind of is kind of a distraction to the family story.

#28: “The M.A.S.S. Device”

Original Air Date: September 12th-16th, 1983

“Yo Joe”

many members of the GI Joe team

This is it. The very first time anyone saw the 1980’s GI Joe team fight Cobra on our televisions. The original five-parter that set the table for the greatness to come.

The plot?

Cobra has a special device, called M.A.S.S. that can transport stuff. The first problem is that Cobra needs a relay satellite to unleash the full potential of M.A.S.S. They get that when a disguised Baroness activates a device that allows Cobra to transfer a US Army satellite out of a base. The second problem is M.A.S.S. needs three special rare elements.

The Joes build their own M.A.S.S. and race Cobra to get the rare elements. We are introduced to the teams, Duke, Scarlett, Stalker, Snake Eyes and a few others on the Joes and Cobra Commander, Destro, and a blue suited Baroness for the Cobra’s. Snake Eyes almost dies from radiation poisoning, then he is almost eaten by a bear. A nice blind man cures Snake Eyes, and our black outfitted commando gains a new friend in the wolf Timber. The race for the elements span the globe. There are double-crosses, a nearly destroyed New York City, and a bunch of blue laser on red laser fighting

Everything we love started here, the Joes finding ways to beat Cobra, the Cobra’s having internal fights, the Arena of Sport, it all started here. In the end the Joes stop Cobra and the world is saved. Yo Joe indeed.

 The Good:

This is the beginning. What happened here set the table for the future. Also, this was the only G.I. Joe tv we had for a year. Also, also, Scarlett is awesome in this series.

The Bad:

It was the first. Many of our favorite characters were not introduced yet.

Come back tomorrow to find out G.I. Joe adventures almost made it into the top ten.

RD

RD is the founder and Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty's Men's' College Basketball Preview

Much to my surprise, and I apologize to my readers that look forward to my preseason sports previews, the men's college basketball season started today. In fact, as I write this, Michigan is set to tip off in 15 minutes.

This will not be my typical preview because the pandemic has halted and postponed and put everything into question. I still find it irresponsible that these kids are playing for no money, risking their lives and risking their futures. But they are playing. There are games scheduled. There is room within schedules to make up games, and they are going to try and bring March Madness back. If you all remember, March Madness was the first big sporting event to be cancelled in March. That was when the world completely changed. This season feels rushed, it feels like it should have been pushed back, and I think they will run into postponements and cancellations, much like college football. But, I still want to do a preview, it will just look different. I'm not going conference by conference, no award predictions, none of my usual stuff, because this is not a usual year. There have already been games postponed in fact. Duke had to push their opener to another day because the team they were supposed to play had an outbreak. This is going to happen everywhere. But, let me try my best to preview the year.

Gonzaga is the number one team in the country according to the NCAA's website. They are no longer a Cinderella team. They are up there with Duke and Kentucky. They are a perennial power, and I am sure they will get bounced earlier than they should from the tournament, if the tournament gets played this year.

Baylor is the number two team in the country, but they already had to pull out of an early season tournament because their coach has COVID. Get used to that happening right now. Lots of teams will miss games because of COVID.

Villanova and Virginia are next, but I know nothing about those teams. I assume they are good because they are always good.

Iowa is number five, and they are the highest ranked Big Ten team. The Big Ten has seven teams in the top 25, and three in the top 10. With Iowa in the top 10, we have Wisconsin at seven and Illinois at eight. The Big Ten appears to be loaded. MSU is thirteen, and the University of Ohio State, Rutgers and Michigan close out the top at twenty-three, twenty-four and twenty-five respectively. I guess the Big Ten will be the best conference, get the most teams in a possible tournament and be hard fought all year. I am stunned at the number of teams from the Big Ten, seven of them, half the league, but hey, I guess the games will be fun and competitive.

Outside that we have the usual suspects in the top 25. Kentucky is ten, Duke is nine, Kansas is six, UNC sixteen and UCLA at twenty-two. I'm sure Duke and Kentucky reloaded with stud, five star freshman. Kansas always has some veteran depth and stud recruits. UNC will assuredly bounce back from last year, and UCLA seems to be returning to a little bit of their glory from the 90's.

I was surprised to see Creigthon so high, at eleven, but hey, I forgot they are in the Big East now.

I'm sure there will be bumps and bruises along the way that aren't involved with COVID. These kids haven't had a real offseason, they haven't had real, traditional practices, they have to be extra, extra cautious with this pandemic, and it is simply going to be a weird, weird season. Honestly I have no idea who will be in the Final Four, and who will win it all, or if there even will be a tournament. I cannot imagine two years without a college basketball season, but it could definitely happen again. I hope it doesn't, I hope they find a way to pull this way, but I will watch with caution. There is so much that can gum up this season. I hope no one gets sick, I hope there is a tournament and I hope they pull it off. I will be watching, and hoping, all season long.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

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Ranking Every Episode of "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero": Earthquakes, Christmas, and Weather Domination

Recently I went back to watch all 95 episodes of the original “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” cartoon series from the 1980’s. In the spirit of list articles, I went out to the internet to find a ranking from worst to best of the show. I found nothing. There were plenty of top ten lists, but no in depth list of all 95 episodes. I decided to do something about it.

Want to know how I came up with the rankings? Read my introduction.

Need to catch up? Part 1

Today I present part two of my countdown of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”. Enjoy.

#59: “Cobra Quake”

Original Air Date: October 28th, 1985

“Cooperation of nations is dangerous to Cobra.”

Cobra Commander

There is a big summit of nations in Tokyo. In town, Bazooka and Quick Kick are teaching a class to a few trainees. We learn at this time that Bazooka is not great on disarming the bombs. Honestly, he is kind of a doofus.

In the meantime, Cobra has captured Japan’s top hurricane expert. Storm Shadow and a bunch of ninjas fight the Joes during the kidnapping. Cobra has a machine that will cause a quake, and they want to use it to ruin the meeting of nations. Anytime Bazooka sees a bomb, he wants to disarm it. Quick Kick keeps stopping him. In the end Bazooka must disarm bomb, with the help of a trainee, Bazooka is finally successful.

At the end, all the Joes are eating octopus, Gung Ho, Flint, and Bazooka are not happy.

 The Good:

Cool story with great ninja action. Strong Bazooka episode

The Bad:

Beginning makes little sense to story (padding). Stop treating Bazooka like a doofus, he is a Joe.

#58: “Operation Mind Menace”

Original Air Date: October 15th, 1985

“That’s great Flash. I like your positive attitude.”

Airborne

Cobra is gathering people with psionic powers and using tech to enslave the people and enhance their abilities. Airborne’s little brother Tommy has powers, he is telekinetic. Airborne and Tommy also have a psychic connection.

Airborne and Flash follow Cobra to Easter Island. A big battle breaks out, then suddenly the giant heads being animated and controlled by Cobra’s psionic slaves. Airborne and Flash get captured.

While the Joes attack the Cobra base, Airborne gets Tommy to overcome Cobra’s control by showing him an old toy airplane. Joes win.

 The Good:

Interesting idea. The animated stone golems on Easter Island are cool as hell.

The Bad:

The idea of psionic powered people is ever seen again. Airborne’s powers, or his brother, are forgotten.

#57: “An Eye for an Eye”

Original Air Date: November 8th, 1985

“Skip the lecture soldier boy. Who do I see to settle the score?”

Charles Fairmont

In a battle with Cobra, the Joes accidently contribute to causing a fire at a family home. The mother and two kids get out but must be hospitalized. The dad, Charles Fairmont, is mad and wants revenge. He is also quite rude to Flint

Charles breaks into G.I. Joe headquarters and convinces Lady Jaye to help him get revenge. Lady Jaye is trying to bring Charles to a deserted Cobra base, but Cobra high command is there and working.  Lady Jaye gets caught. The Joes come to rescue, and Charles has a chance to kill Cobra Commander. Charles is tricked and Flint saves him from head snake, who escapes.

In the end Charles is reunited with his family and is still not happy. Plus, he is still rude to Flint.

 The Good:

Great idea. Fun episode.

The Bad:

Lady Jaye was out of character in helping Charles and risking court martial. She is not Shipwreck.

#56: Secondhand Emotions

Original Air Date: October 31st, 1986

“I feel awful about what I did at church.”

Lifeline

It is the wedding day of Lifeline’s little sister. A few Joes accompany the team medic to Pittsburgh for the ceremony. Lifeline’s father, a preacher, does not approve of his son joining the military. Like Lifeline, his dad is a pacifist.

Zartan and crew crash the wedding and shoot the Joes with devices that can change their emotions due to music Dr Mindbender plays on an organ. Because of the Cobra emotion control, Lifeline acts like an ass at his sister’s wedding. The Joes are in disarray because their emotions are taking over their actions.

In the end, Lifeline reconciles with his dad, the Joes confront their fears and overcome the emotion controls because Serpentor misuses the organ. The wedding is pulled off with no problems.

 The Good:

Great character story for Lifeline.

The Bad:

A little dull. The animation is a bit shoddy

#55: “Cobra Claws are Coming to Town”

Original Air Date: November 7th, 1985

“Happy Holidays from Wild Weasel you holiday turkeys.”

Wild Weasel

The GI Joe Christmas special.

Cobra hides them self, miniaturized by the way, in toys the Joes are collecting for kids. Also, Mutt is gloomy because Christmas always makes him gloomy. While out moping, Mutt runs afoul of the mini Cobra’s starting to attack. The bad guys are hit with an enlarging ray, Destro’s Molecular Reducer Enlarger, and Cobra takes over the Joe HQ. Cobra Commander puts most of the Joes in an icebox, hanging from hooks by their handcuffs, the Commander also leaves a key to their cuffs just out of reach. Pervy Shipwreck uses skill to get leverage and escape his hook and get the key.

Meanwhile, Cobra is going to attack Keystone City with Joe equipment to make everyone turn against the good guys. In a fight with Destro, Polly the parrot gets hit with the Molecular Reducer Enlarger, a few times, before the device is broken. The Joes chase Cobra in the Cobra gear. A fight on the ground and in the air. Cobra Commander is going to kill Duke, until a giant Polly saves him.

oes win, it is Christmas, Mutt does not have the blues anymore, and Polly is very large. Episode ends with a “bah humbug” from Shipwreck.

 The Good:

Super fun episode.

The Bad:

Not really part of the series. Meant to be a one off special.

#54: “GI Joe and the Golden Fleece”

Original Air Date: October 27th, 1986

“It’s almost like we went back in time.”

Lifeline

The episode where G.I. Joe and Cobra become the living embodiment of Greek mythology.

The Joes and Cobra are fighting in the eastern Mediterranean. A weird ship appears, and a golden shell falls out. Cobra shoots it, and all the sudden the old decrepit Athens Parthenon is restored. Long story short, a few Joes and Cobras have been transplanted in time to the days of Ancient Greece.

We learn that Sgt Slaughter learned some Greek in college, and the locals think he is Hercules. The Joes and Cobra are being recognized as figures from Greek mythology. In ancient times, both sides figure out how to power their modern devices.

Lady Jaye ends up shooting the shell when everyone is close, and all the Joes and Cobras are transported back to modern times. The spaceship returns and the shell is retrieved. We find out it was a kid’s toy.

 The Good:

Really cool story.

The Bad:

A bit fantastical even for GI Joe.

#53: “Joes Night Out”

Original Air Date: November 10th, 1986

“Dance fools, dance”

Serpentor

Dial Tone has a date for the new local dance club, and Wetsuit and Leatherneck want in on the action. Dial Tone’s date can get two friends for the SEAL and Marine. Meanwhile, a Dr. Mulaney is having trouble perfecting his nitrogen fuel project for General Hawk. The three lovelorn Joes and their dates meet up to go to the new club. Dial Tone and Wetsuit are happy with their coupling, Leatherneck is not, his girl is not attractive.

At the club we softly hear the Satin hit “The Cobra Who Got Away”. Then suddenly, the club is launched into space. The club is a Cobra plot to get the Joes to hand over Dr Mulaney and his Nitrogen fuel engine. On the ground, Dr Mulaney surrenders, on the club, the Joes work to save everyone. There are explosives on the club/saucer. Wetsuit MacGyver’s a space suit, with soda cans as propellant, and goes to disarm the bombs. He runs out of air, and Leatherneck gets the last bomb. Dial Tone figures out how to land the club/saucer back on earth. Cobra craft equipped with the Nitrogen fuel engines keep failing. The Joes win. The guys girls are happy, yet Leatherneck has the ugly girl, so he is not happy.

 The Good:

Funny and action packed. Loved hearing “The Cobra That Got Away” again.

The Bad:

The animation is pretty bad.

#52 “Cobra’s Creatures”

Original Air Date: September 30th, 1985

“To fail me is fatal.”

Cobra Commander

First things first. The episode starts with Airborne, Mutt, and Junkyard parachuting out of Skystrikers. Junkyard is a dog, and he is individually parachuting.

Unfortunately, the three never reappear. They were captured by Cobra.

At the Cobra base, Cobra Commander is listening to Dr. Lucifer about his invention of High Freq. This system allows Cobra to control animals. Dr Lucifer wants to be reunited with the love of his life Professor Atila; she is in prison.

High Freq is used on Junkyard, and the dog is sent out to get his master Mutt. Scarlett tries to act as Professor Atilla and get Dr Lucifer. Unfortunately, Dr Lucifer knows that Professor Atilla hates him. Junkyard keeps hunting Mutt, even though Mutt saves his pooch from a gator. Animals are taking stuff over all around the world. Soon Snake Eyes and Spirit show up with their animals Timber and Freedom. A bunch of animal action, the Joes destroy the High Freq machine. Cobra Commander escapes, but the Joes capture Dr. Lucifer. They send him to a prison cell with Professor Atilla.

 The Good:

Dr Lucifer and Professor Atilla are great names for bad guys. The High Freq idea is awesome.

The Bad:

It is sad to see Junkyard go after Mutt.

#51: “The Invaders”

Original Air Date: November 29th, 1985

“The so-called super-powers have fallen for our trick.”

Cobra Commander

The Joes are going after the Crimson twins, and then the Oktober Guard (Soviet GI Joes) show up to the fight.

A quick note, the Joes have red lasers, Cobra has blue, and the Oktober Guard has green lasers.

Tomax and Xamot get kidnapped by aliens, and the Joes and Oktober Guard are quite confused. The Joes need the help of the Oktober Guard to defeat the aliens, the otherworldly beings are attacking the US and the Soviet Union. Joes team up with Oktober Guard to get rid of the threat with a Joe working with one of their Soviet counterparts.

Snake Eyes and Wong discover Zartan and the Dreadnoks are posing as the aliens. The flying saucers are shot down. In the end Gung-Ho and his Soviet counterpart, Horror Show, laugh off their rivalry. Here comes perestroika.

 The Good:

A great story with the Oktober Guard.

The Bad:

Pretty unbelievable episode, even for GI Joe. Everybody was just pretty stupid.

#50: “The Great Alaskan Land Rush”

Original Air Date: December 3rd, 1985

“Whoever owns the seal, owns Alaska”

Honest Gurky

I know that there are only two episodes that utilize the Oktober Gaurd, and I have placed these two episodes next to each other in my rankings. The truth is these episodes played with only one other in between. In three weeks we got two Oktober Guard stories, and the dynamics seem about the same.

The Joes are attacked in Washington DC. The only thing stolen was some rando document that means very little. Unfortunately, the document says that whoever owns the great seal of Alaska is the rightful owner of Alaska. That person is Gurky Potemkin, a person backed by the Crimson Twins.

Alaska is now GurkyLand with a motto that states “Takus All You Canus”. The Joes go to find the real seal, but the Oktober Guard is also on the case to take Alaska back for the Motherland. The two frenemies find an old Russian village built from the descendants of the original Russian expedition of the 1850’s, a ship called the Romanov. After a while, the Joes, Oktober Guard, and the descendants of the Romanov decide to work together. Battle ensues. The Oktober Guard reluctantly gives the Joes the seal, and Gurky is kicked out.

 The Good:

Another awesome episode with the Oktober Guard. Cool story.

The Bad:

The double crossing from the Oktober Guard is unnecessary.

#49: “The Revenge of Cobra”

Original Air Date: September 10th-14th, 1984

“With my new invention The Weather Dominator I shall destroy GI Joe with the irresistible power of nature itself.”

Destro

The second five-part miniseries of the original cartoon’s run. A whole new cast of characters joins the hold overs from the first miniseries. We get our first crack at Zartan, Storm Shadow, a Crimson Guardsman, Flint, Lady Jaye, Spirit, Mutt and Junkyard, and many more. This is the series that also introduced us to the awesome Shipwreck.

The story involves Destro’s newest invention, The Weather Dominator. To start things off, Cobra captures G.I.Joe’s laser core along with Duke and Snake Eyes. The two captured Joes are made to entertain Cobra in the Arena of Sport. Flint, Mutt, and Junkyard also meet Shipwreck, a mercenary sailor holed up in a Cobra town in the middle of the desert.

The Joes and Cobra travel around the world battling to gain the three pieces. Zartan double crosses everyone in the end. The Joes, with the help of Roadblock’s new friend Honda Lou, defeat the bad guys and capture Cobra Commander. Destro flees at the end and vows revenge.

 The Good:

Some of the best characters of the series were introduced here. The show would never be the same without guys like Zartan and Shipwreck.

The Bad:

The story is essential the same format as the first miniseries. Duke and Snake Eyes are largely set aside.

Come back tomorrow for more adventures of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”

RD

RD is the founder and Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support us and the podcast on Patreon.

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Dabo Swinney is a Dumbass

I noticed this past weekend that Clemson's game against Florida State was canceled. I assumed it was COVID related, and reading up on it that morning confirmed my assumption. Apparently Clemson had a lineman that tested positive travel on the plane with them to the game. This is against all the new protocols, this is morally wrong and it was a tremendous oversight by the adults in charge at Clemson. After finding out the news, FSU's medical staff thought it wasn't safe to play the game, and they had it canceled, or maybe postponed. Either way, Clemson-FSU didn't happen on Saturday.

I am not one to side with FSU often, I do not like that program at all, but on this topic, I one hundred percent think they made the right call. Who knows who could have been exposed to it, who knows how many people the player interacted with, it is too dangerous a situation to go out and play a college football game. After the cancellation, I thought nothing of it, this is happening every weekend in college football, these kids probably shouldn't be playing right now and I didn't think it would be brought up again. I was wrong because Dabo Swinney is a holier than thou moron that doesn't know when to keep his goddamn mouth shut.

I am not a Dabo fan at all. I dislike him as much as FSU football. He is too rah rah, way too Jesusy and just gets on my nerves. But what he said yesterday was truly astonishing and appalling. He claimed that FSU made up the COVID incident so they wouldn't have to play. I'm sure he said it in other ways, but the gist, at least to me, was he was calling FSU a bunch of babies and wimps. Keep in mind, Clemson had a COVID positive player on a flight with the rest of the team. That doesn't seem to matter to Swinney, who thinks that a D1 college would make up a story so they wouldn't have to play a football game.

This is an outrageous claim by a guy who is getting way, way too big for his britches. I think he thinks he is college football. I think he thinks that people come out to watch him coach, not to see the players play. I think he thinks he is bigger than the game and he can call people and other universities out because he has won a few titles. No other coach has made this claim during this COVID filled college football season. Brian Kelly didn't say anything when Notre Dame had to close down operations for two weeks. Alabama's game against LSU was canceled for COVID last weekend, and I didn't see Nick Saban saying Ed Oregeron was too afraid to take the field. Ryan Day wasn't all up in arms when the University of Ohio State's game two weeks ago against Maryland was canceled because of an outbreak within the Maryland program. None of the coaches of the top teams in football have made this claim this year. But leave it to good old boy Dabo Swinney to throw a fit because he allowed a player with a highly contagious virus to fly on a plane, and blame the other school and call them scared.

This is nonsense, and more so, it is dangerous. These kids, that we know of, do not get paid to play college football. They go to these schools in hopes of furthering their careers. But in reality, most don't make it to the pros. But Swinney, and a whole lot of other college football coaches, make more money than anyone else in their respective states. So to him, not playing a game is a missed paycheck, and less money in his pocket. Instead of taking this pandemic as seriously as he should be, we all should be, he uses bullying and name calling. This is a despicable act, and I am shocked that no one has really called him out for this behavior. This is something a child would do. Swinney, with this comment, really showed me that he does not care about the safety and well-being of any college athlete, including the ones on his own team. I am deeply disturbed he took this route, and it made me lose any respect I may have had for him.

Dabo Swinney may be a good coach, but he is not a good person, especially if this is the route he is going to take when games get canceled because there is a deadly pandemic currently ravaging our country. I am stunned by his words.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ranking Every Episode of "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero": Spies, Slaughter, and Serpentor

Recently I went back to watch all 95 episodes of the original “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” cartoon series from the 1980’s. In the spirit of list articles, I went out to the internet to find a ranking from worst to best of the show. I found nothing. There were plenty of top ten lists, but no in depth list of all 95 episodes. I decided to do something about it.

Want to know how I came up with the rankings? Read my introduction.

Today I present part one of my countdown of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”. Enjoy.

#74: The Spy Who Rooked Me

Original Air Date: October 13th, 1986

“Burke, Matthew Burke”

Matthew Burke

This is the one episode of “G.I. Joe: An American Hero” you can skip.

It stinks.

Welcome to the the James Bond Episode of GI Joe. At the time, James Bond was in a dark period. “A View to a Kill” was the big Bond movie. “A View to a Kill” may have Grace Jones and Christopher Walken, but it also has a way to old Roger Moore as 007 for the last time. Despite the Duran Duran song, “A View to a Kill” is no good, just like “The Spy Who Rooked Me.”

The plot? A British agent, Matthew Burke, seemingly as old as Roger Moore, with high tech gadgets (from his AUNTIE) helps the Joes stop Zartan and the Dreadnoks from getting some gas cannisters. Twist after twist. In the end the Joes were decoys and Agent Burke already moved the gas. The end.

The Good:

Matt Burke flirting with Lady Jaye, and she is flirting back. Flint is not happy.

The Bad:

The voice of General Hawk is different. The animation is very spotty. The story is boring.

#73: Ninja Holiday

Original Air Date: October 22nd, 1986

“Prepare to fight, slaughterhouse style.”

Sgt Slaughter

Despite the low ranking, this episode like all that follow are worth a look. In other words, “Ninja Holiday” is the worst of the best.

HOT TAKE ALERT: I’m not a big fan of Sgt. Slaughter. I like his no nonsense approach, his in your face attitude, and his voice of the people. He is like the Poochie of the G.I. Joe universe. He sticks out in all of his episodes because he is the focus of all of his episodes. Sgt Slaughter is a super hero in a world of ultra specialized military guys with sci fi equipment. Also, I know all about the ninja awesomeness of Snake Eyes, but that awesomeness was not in the cartoon. I am not upset that Snake Eyes does not factor into this episode.

Joe Navy Seal Wetsuit is going to enter a martial arts contest put on by Pierre LaFont. Sgt Slaughter tells Wetsuit no way, but Slaughter is mistaken for Wetsuit and captured by LaFont’s men.

At the contest, Sgt Slaughter beats the hell out of everyone. In the end Wetsuit shows up and has to fight Slaughter. They put on a show, beat the bad guys. In the end, Sgt Slaughter learns that Cobra Commander wanted LaFont to find an assassin who would kill Serpentor. Also, Storm Shadow is with Cobra Commander, another ninja who did not facto into a story called Ninja Holiday.

The Good:

The variety of fighters, including a cook, is pretty cool.

The Bad:

A typical Sgt Slaughter is a superhero episode. Why for an episode called Ninja Holiday did Storm Shadow only show up in the end with no dialogue and no action. I am repeating myself.

#72: Jungle Trap

Original Air Date: September 27th, 1985

“I bet my bush hat, that is where Cobra is holed up”

Recondo

Cobra is looking to create/use The Vulcan Machine, a gun that ignites molten lava. The Joe team must stop the snakes.

Overall this is a Recondo episode. His skill set, and toy actions, are the highlight of everything the Joes do. At one point he even saves a Rhino because the jungle animals deserve to be saved. Also, Snake Eyes kicks a hyena. Pretty basic stuff.

The Good:

Fleshes out the character of Recondo. Did I mention that Snake Eyes kicks a hyena

The Bad:

Nothing memorable in the episode, except for Snake Eyes kicking a hyena.

 #71: Cobra Sound Waves

Original Air Date: October 17th, 1985

“If Cobra’s got all the cards, let’s deal ourselves a new hand.”

Ace

Cobra has a sound cannon that rips stuff apart. High tech stuff like fighter jets.

Joe pilot Ace is featured in the episode. He finds the secret river to save the Joes. He leads a low tech glider attack on the cannon. Cobra Commander gets greedy and makes their super weapon fall and get destroyed. There is a robot crab. Joes win.

The Good:

Great character action with Ace

The Bad:

Nothing memorable outside of Ace

#70: The Greenhouse Effect

Original Air Date: October 3rd, 1985

“Them Cobras are slipperier than new soap”

Wild Bill

A Crimson Guardsman disguised as a janitor in a lab working on nitrogen rocket fuel, steals a cannister. While on the run he stashes the fuel cannister into a pot at a dudes greenhouse. The greenhouse belongs to Harvey, a man that has a weird relationship with his plants.

Later at the county fair, Harvey’s plant is growing big and producing all sorts of fruits. Then the plant starts attacking everyone with its vines and fruits. The Joes cannot stop it. Destro wants to use this new discovery to create a jungle of these monster plants. In the end it is up to Airtight, and his vast knowledge of chemicals, to come up with a plan to stop the menacing plant monster. Joes win.

The Good:

With this chemical plant combo, Cobra may have solved world hunger.

The Bad:

Airtight is not the most dynamic character when we need a hero to root for..

#69: Cobra Stops the World

Original Air Date: September 26th, 1985

“Destro does not celebrate until his wars are won.”

Destro

A Sparks episode. Celebrate because we only get two times to appreciate Sparks, the man with no official figure in the original line.

Cobra Commander is making oil tankers disappear, destroying oil platforms, and bombing refineries. His goal is to stop the flow of the world’s energy supply. Colonel Sharp uses our boy Sparks to find out where Cobra is transmitting it’s threats. If they find the base, the Joes can stop Cobra from depriving the world of oil.

Deep Six and Torpedo use the SHARC, and their toy action, to sink a Cobra water base. Scarlett beats the hell out of a bunch Cobra’s holed up in the suburbs. Ace and Duke get caught by Major Bludd, who is duping a group of natives into helping Cobra. Eventually, Sparks builds his tracking unit, Duke and Ace escape in a stolen Rattler, the Joes attack Cobra’s base, and the world once again gets to depend on oil as it’s primary fuel source.

The Good:

A fun little adventure. The SHARC and the water Joes of the time (no Shipwreck unfortunately). This episode showed you how to play with the SHARC and Skystriker. It was a great commercial for those toys.

The Bad:

Seems like this episode was supposed to be after the first miniseries. It feels out of place out of place.

#68: My Brother’s Keeper

Original Air Date: October 15th, 1986

“Sci Fi, this is stupid”

Sgt Slaughter

Dr Mindbender needs renown quantum physicist Dr. Jeremy Penser to help Cobra fix their newest superweapon, the Voltranic Galaxator. For some reason this world renowned physicist is going to be signing books at the local science fiction convention. Dr Penser is wheelchair bound, and a big ass to his little brother Timothy. Mindbender promises that Dr Penser will walk if he helps Cobra. The good grumpy doctor agrees to go work with Cobra.

Trying to save his ungrateful older brother, Timothy steals a Havoc and Sgt Slaughter and Sci-Fi chase him down. Sgt Slaughter is a superhero taking Cobra stuff down. Dr Penser will not shoot his little brother and sabotages the Voltranic Galaxator, everyone is saved. In the end and Jeremy is still an ass to his little bro, but Timothy is ok with it.

The Good:

Sci-Fi at a comic con. Awesome weapon name.

The Bad:

Sgt Slaughter being superhuman. Forgettable story.

#67: Into Your Tent I Will Silently Creep

Original Air Date: November 20th, 1986

“Well this is right embarrassing.”

Cross-Country

The last episode of the classic series. Heavily featuring country music loving Joe Cross-Country (and his unfortunate confederate flag belt buckle).

In this series finale we have Cobra cat like robots stealing random junk from the Joes. Cross-Country goes to investigate and discovers The Coil, Cobra Commanders new group who wants to overthrow Serpentor. Fights happen, Cross-Country gets away, warns Joes, slaves are freed, and Cobra Commander gets away to continue the misadventures of The Coil.

The Good:

Great setup for the future of the show with The Coil

The Bad:

No follow up. Episode focuses on Cross-Country

#66: Iceberg Goes South

Original Air Date: October 9th, 1986

“What are they doing to poor Iceberg?”

Snowjob

The Joes meet The Island of Dr Moreau.

Full disclosure. I really like the weirdness of the episode. This may be one of the freakiest half hours of kid cartooning ever. Having said that, the weirdness does not make up for how out of place this particular adventure seems.

Iceberg is in the arctic and meets up an old friend that works in the TropoDome. The rest of the Joes are testing out equipment in the frozen landscape. The Polar Battle Bear and Snow Cat get highlighted so kids can tell their parents about what new toys they need to buy. Strange that Snow Job is driving the Snow Cat and Frostbite, the figure that came with the toy, is not even in the episode.

In the TropoDome, Dr Mindbender is making people into animals. To keep the hybrid creatures stable they need protein. therefore all the abominations are fed meat. Iceberg is captured and is turned into a killer whale. The Joes storm the TrpoDome, Killer Whale Iceberg starts to attack and defend the Joes. A lot of animal man hybrid mayhem ensues. Dr. Mindbender escapes. The Joes save Iceberg by stopping him from eating wild seals, which would permanently make him a killer whale. Iceberg’s friend drugs him, and turns him back to normal. The end.

The Good:

This is a crazy surreal episode. Strong Iceberg action, the Joe from Texas who loves the snow.

The Bad:

Unlike any other GI Joe episode, and not necessarily in a good way.

#65: Last Hour to Doomsday

Original Air Date: September 25th, 1986

“Destro stop moaning like a lovestruck schoolboy and move out the giant vortex cone.”

Cobra Commander

The first episode after the “Arise, Serpentor, Arise” five-parter. No Serpentor, but we do have BATS and Dr Mindbender.

This is a story about how Flint and Lady Jaye infiltrate, escape, get captured, and escape again from Cobra. They are also put into a tank with a giant octopus.

The Cobra has a device to make giant waves. Cobra Commander is going to destroy the east coast if he doesn’t get what he wants. The Joes have a battle with BATS on the ocean floor. Wetsuit disables the vortex cone. Joes win.

The Good:

Great use of the underwater Joes and a great BATS battle on the bottom of the ocean.

The Bad:

Almost too much action. Hard to know what is going on. A bunch of season 2 stuff was absent from the episode like Serpentor and Night Ravens. Not great when we just got done introducing all of that in last week’s episodes.

#64: Money to Burn

Original Air Date: October 14th, 1985

“Citizens of the United States. I am happy to announce Cobra’s economic recovery plan.”

Cobra Commander

Cobra burns up all the money in the US with a molecular de-generator device. After the economic collapse, Cobra Commander offers Cobra dollars to get everyone back on their feet. T

he Joes try to intervene, the public riots. When Alpine saves a girl, all is well with the rioters.

Ripcord gets featured in this episode when he parachutes into a mountain. It was a holograph. The Joes stop Cobra’s ruse. In the end the Joes play cards and Ripcord takes the pot when he beats master card player Ace.

The Good:

Great Crimson Twin stuff. Awesome character building for Ace and Ripcord.

The Bad:

Not the best Cobra plan ever. All falls apart pretty quickly.

#63: My Favorite Things

Original Air Date: October 16th, 1986

“For my powers to be complete, I must gather a few of my favorite things.”

Serpentor

Serpentor was created with the DNA of history’s greatest evil military leaders. Now he wants to reclaim the artifacts of all those leaders. The Joes chase Serpentor and Cobra all over the world as the Cobra Emperor tries to achieve his goal.

At Count Dracula’s castle, Serpentor poisons Leatherneck with a poison dart (the poison is Serpentor’s blood). Wetsuit wants to save his buddy and takes Lifeline to India to stop Serpentor’s next collection. The thing Serpentor wants is a giant snake, his old pet. Wetsuit is afraid of snakes, Lifeline, the pacifist, belittles tough guy Wetsuit. The two Joes get the antidote, and then Wetsuit blows up Cobra’s escape making the giant snake get trapped in the earth.

In the end, Wetsuit and Leatherneck are recovering in a hospital. We know they are feeling better because the start up with their endless bickering and fist throwing.

The Good:

Great Wetsuit and Leatherneck stuff. Good world building for Serpentor

The Bad:

Tons of action make it hard to establish stakes for the Joes. If this was a multi-part episode, it would have been awesome.

#62: The Germ

Original Air Date: October 23rd, 1985

“Now it’s just a germ, soon it will be a conqueror of worlds”

Destro

This episode is all about Airtight.

Cobra steals a formula that they accidently release, and it creates a massive blob destroying everything in front of it. Ace tries to bomb it, no good. Airtight flies an experimental craft and tries to destroy the nucleus of the blob. It splits the creature.

Airtight thinks apple seeds, they have arsenic, will kill the blob. The Joes direct one of the blobs to an apple orchard, and it dies. The other blob is heading to New York City. The Joes bomb and gun it with apples. The blob is destroyed.

The Good:

Trippy episode. Interesting story

The Bad:

One of the few episodes with no Cobra Commander in it. Sorry to say this again, but Airtight is not the most action oriented character. I owned his figure as a kid. I rarely played with it.

#61: Bazooka Saw a Sea Serpent

Original Air Date: October 31st, 1985

“Will you work?”

The Sea Serpent

There is a giant mechanical sea snake terrorizing the seas. Bazooka sees it, no one believes him.

Meanwhile, Tomax and Xamot carnival flip into a group of dudes and the crimson twins tell them that the dudes will pay Cobra or more ships will be lost.

Later, a nice yacht is being destroyed by the sea serpent. Little Jimmy loses his dog Bucky to the monster. Lady Jaye, Quick Kick, and Shipwreck find Cobra’s ship. In the fight, the remote for the sea serpent is broken. The creature goes wild and swallows Cobra’s and Joes.

In the belly of the beast, all the captives must sort the treasure the beast has captured. Including Cobra Commander. Every time the creature eats, it grows. The creature goes for New York harbor to eat more. Bazooka gets the beast to bite its own tail. Joes win, Bazooka gets the big catch, and Jimmy gets reunited with Bucky.

The Good:

Well thought out story.

The Bad:

End is a bit rushed. Another story that would have been better as a two-parter?

#60: Arise, Serpentor, Arise

Original Air Date: September 15th-19th, 1986

“For I am Serpentor, and this I command.”

Serpentor

The five-part beginning to the second season of the Sunbow cartoon. The creation and rise of the Cobra emperor, Serpentor. The introduction of tons of new characters; Beach Head, Wetsuit, Leatherneck, General Hawk, Low Light, Mainframe, Monkeywrench, Thrasher, Dr Mindbender, the BATS, and Sgt Slaughter (to name a few).

Cobra ambushes the Joes at their base. Cobra Commander uses his new Battle Android Troopers (BATS) to beat the Joes back. Right when it looks bad for our heroes, Sgt Slaughter comes in to save the day.

After the debacle at the Joe base, Dr Mindbender wants a new leader for Cobra. He has a weird dream about DNA. He enlists Destro and the Crimson Twins to help on his quest. Cobra Commander is not happyy, but plays along because he is not as supported by his troops as he wants to be.

Cobra and Joe fights around the world collecting DNA from long dead evil leaders. The Oktober Guard gets involved. Sgt Slaughter is a badass at all times. Cobra Commander tries to sabotage the project. It works, then it doesn’t.

Once the new Cobra Emperor Serpentor is born, he fights Sgt Slaughter, and then he immediately puts together an operation to take Washington DC. Intially succesfell, Cobra does take DC and Serpentor sits on Abraham Lincoln’s lap in the 16th President’s memorial. The Joes fight back, Serpentor needs to retreat because of supply issues. Cobra Commander saves Serpentor at the last minute, and the emperor takes the former head of Cobra with him to use the Commander as a patsy.

A new age of Cobra is born.

The Good:

The dawn of a new era. The introduction of Wetsuit and Leatherneck

The Bad:

I talked about how Sgt Slaughter is a distraction in many of his episodes. This is where it started. The whole series is awesome, it just focusses too much on Slaughter. I know that is not a popular opinion, but my science doesn’t lie.

All right, that’s it for today. Come back tomorrow to see the next group of episodes to be ranked.

RD

RD is the founder and Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Better Late than Never on "Sleeping With the Enemy"

This Friday was my wife's pick for movie night and she showed me "Sleeping with the Enemy". I had never seen it, I liked it and I have some thoughts.

First off, I did not realize how much of a star Julia Roberts was in the 90's. I mean, I know of her, I know she is famous, I have seen her in a few movies. But when I looked up her IMDB page for this movie I was kind of stunned how many leading roles she had in the 90's in all different kinds of movies. She was a top of the line, big time marquee movie star. She was a legit upper tier famous person. My wife also told me she thinks Roberts took this role because this was her "damsel in distress" movie. And she totally knocked it out of the park. She was really great as the damsel, but I will get to it a little later on in my piece how she turned from damsel to hero in 90 plus minutes.

This movie was also a perfect snapshot of 90's fashion and hairstyles. Julia Roberts' hair is beautiful in this movie, but it is so long, so thick and so curly. And the big bows and scrunchies and all of that, they were front and center. The two main male characters, their looks were something else. The abusive husband looks like a villain. I mean, you look up a villain in the dictionary and this dude fits it to a T. He is menacing, he wears all black, he has a creepy mustache and he seems to always have a weapon on his person. The gentleman that Roberts meets when she leaves her abusive husband, his hair and clothes were insane. The amount of turtlenecks was wild. The colorful button up shirts were nuts and loud. And his hair, my goodness. He looked like he had a headband in his hair, but he didn't. It was like this weird hybrid of a mullet and a shaggy hair look. It was as 90's as 90's gets. In fact, the only person who didn't have a wild get up was Roberts' mom, but she was the old lady in a nursing home. She got to wear comfy clothes.

Shifting to the music, it was as cliche as a thriller in 1991 can get, and again, I liked this movie. But anytime there was a tense or nervous or uncomfortable scene, there was this loud twinge of music that filled the movie, and you knew something bad was going to happen. The music when the villain husband was on screen was almost hilarious to me. It was so loud and so ominous. It was a little too on the nose. There was also this weird tonal shift in the movie when Roberts and the new guy are trying on clothes, which becomes a montage scene, and this happy music underscores this very odd moment of an otherwise nice thriller. They also have a weird dance scene where they play the song "RunAround Sue", which seems to be a staple of 90's movies.

Outside of these few minor personal issues I had though, as I have stated so far, I did enjoy the movie. It was a good thriller. It kept me on the edge of my seat. I was rooting for Roberts to be happy, to be the hero, which she gets to be. This movie could have followed along the same lines of most "damsel in distress" movies and let the guy be the hero, but this movie didn't. The villain husband, spoiler alert, tracks her down, and has her trapped in her home. It looks like he will win, but the new guy shows up and tries to stop him. The new guy gets knocked out, and it is just the villain and Roberts. I thought this was where they were going to have the new guy wake up and save Roberts. "Sleeping with the Enemy" had other ideas, and I loved it. Roberts grabbed the gun and pointed it at the villain. He tried to talk her down, tried to control her. And just when it looked like he might win her over, she called the police and said she had just shot an intruder. She hadn't yet, but I was pretty certain she was on that path. When she hung up the phone she fired four shots into his chest. All the while the new guy was knocked out on the floor oblivious to what was going on. Roberts took actions into her own hands, shot the bad guy and won. She defeated the villain. She saved herself and the new guy. She was able to exorcise this demon in her life, and she did it by herself.

I think that is a pretty powerful move by a movie from the 90's. As I have said, a lot of movies back then would have let the guy save the day. This one didn't, and I thought it was a great move on the writers and actors and directors part. I love that they let the "damsel" be the hero. It was great. I recommend this movie to anyone that is looking for a classic 90's thriller and to any Julia Roberts fan. I really enjoyed many things about this movie.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ranking Every Episode of "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero" Introduction

Growing up in the 1980’s my Saturday mornings were filled with cartoons that were blatant thirty minute adverts for the toys that connected to the show. On top of that, during the commercial breaks my young impressionable mind was seeing thirty second spots enticing us with sugary cereals, video games, and so many toys. It was an awesome time to be a kid. The 1980’s were truly a golden age of advertisement directed to children.

“G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” premiered on September 12th, 1983. The first series, known now as “The M.A.S.S. Device”. ran for five straight weekdays. The series was a follow up to the revamped 3 and 3/4 inch toyline and the Marvel comic book series that both premiered in 1982. After the success of the first miniseries, G.I. Joe was back in September of 1984 with a new five part mini-series, “The Revenge of Cobra”. The second series was also a big hit, mainly due to the fact the toy line was expanding, and the series featured these new characters like Flint, Lady Jaye, Zartan, the Dreadnoks, and the great Shipwreck.

With two hit miniseries, “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” was given the full season order in 1985. The third miniseries “The Pyramid of Darkness” premiered in September, and was followed by fifty more episodes. In September of 1986 the five parter “Arise, Serpentor, Arise” kicked off season two, and was followed by twenty five new thirty minute adventures for the Joes and Cobra. Each season also saw the introduction of new characters who had corresponding toys at your local stores.

“G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” was a big part of my childhood. The episodes aired on weekday afternoons in suburban St. Louis. I would rush home from school to watch my favorite toy line have adventures on my television. The next day my friends and I would talk about G.I.Joe, play with our G.I. Joe toys, and talk about what new G.I. Joe toys we wanted. I was more obsessed with G.I. Joe than I was even with Star Wars.

Decades later, being an adult, I looked back fondly on G.I. Joe, but never gave it much thought. I saw the two live action movies and thought they were ok. The second one is much better than the first, but I was not overly excited about the films. Around the time my son was born, Netflix had the original Marvel/Sunbow run of the cartoon on their new streaming service. When I would sit with my infant son trying to get him to sleep, I would watch my old favorite cartoon.

I was pleasantly surprised that I still loved the show. I also realized that a lot of my progressive political ideas came from this toy commercial about war toys. Lady Jaye is the most competent leader the Joe’s have. There were episodes that dealt with environmental issues, inner city gangs, global fiscal policy, reliance on technology, the dangers of television, the dangers of trying to pursue beauty, and pacifism. There were a few culturally insensitive moments, looking at the character of Spirit, but these cringe worthy moments are very few compared to what was going on in media at the time. The point is that “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” is a show I enjoyed as a kid, it left an obvious mark on the way I see the world, and I still love it to this day.

During the pandemic, I went back to watch all 95 episodes of the original series. In the spirit of list articles, I went out to the internet to find a ranking from worst to best of the show. I found nothing. There were plenty of top ten lists, but no in depth list of all 95 episodes. I decided to do something about it. After a bunch of research and note taking, I have come up with the definitive ranking of the original run of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”. Like the classic show itself, I will release an article for five straight days. If you love the original series, I hope to bring back some joy in going back to the series. If you have never watched, please continue to read and behold the craziness of a show about military people fighting a circus of bad guys. In the end, I hope you all enjoy, or get mad, about these rankings.

Before I do start, a quick note on a few things.

I have ranked multi-part episodes as one story. Yes the show had 95 episodes, but in my rankings it told 74 stories. That is why the rankings start at 74.

I have not ranked the PSA’s that were shown after each episode. I may do that in the future.

I have not include the 1987 animated movie. If I had included it in the rankings, I would have ranked it near the bottom. I do have some nostalgic joy thinking of the movie, but it seemed very out of place from the original show. I know it’s hard to believe that a show which featured magical swords, a centuries old well monster, and ghosts, that Cobra-La is a bridge too far for me.

This is a ranking of just the Marvel/Sunbow run of the cartoon. I have not ranked any other animated forms of G.I. Joe. The DiC stuff would be at the rock bottom, the Extreme stuff is surprisingly good, I have not seen Spy Troops or Resolute, and I think the Renegades series is awesome, but none of it really relates to this first run.

Last, I want to thank a few outside sources I went to in order to rank these episodes with the most scientific means necessary. YoJoe.com is the definitive G.I. Joe website out there. The definitive podcast about G.I. Joe is Joe on Joe. I could not have been accurate in these rankings without those two outside sources.

Come back tomorrow to see the first episodes in my rankings.

Yo Joe.

RD

RD is the founder and Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Strange Tales from the Pandemic: Weight Gain Edition

My topic today is a little out of the ordinary, but I want to talk about it. So the pandemic is in month, I don't know, nine, and I want to talk about how it has affected my diet.

I am pretty sure I told everyone that reads my blog, I lost about 100 pounds total five years ago. The weight has fluctuated both ways, but where I am today, I weigh about 270 pounds. That means I have kept off around 70 total, which I think is solid. But during the pandemic, my weight has just been totally stagnant, and I don't get it. I run more now than I did before, but I do eat a little worse. When I was really on my diet, Atkins, I was pretty militant about my carb intake. That went by the wayside when I started running half marathons. I was burning so many calories at races and runs, my body actually needed carbs. I needed that little extra energy to get through the run. This was when I discovered Tailwinds, and that stuff is magical. It is a powder drink substance that I put in my hydration pack and drink during longer runs. One packet has 50 carbs in it, and I drink it all. When I really watched carbs, I only had 40 a day. So, one packet of Tailwinds was more than I had in years. But it was working. It was helping me push through the harder parts of longer runs and I liked it. I started to let myself eat more carbs, still staying under 100 a day, and I was still losing weight.

Then the pandemic hit, and it all just stopped. Not my running, not my intake of carbs, but my weight loss. I cannot gain any weight, or lose any weight. Since March of this year I have been 270 pounds. Sometimes I'm 270.5 or 270.3, but never under 270. I don't get it. I do eat more carb loaded meals. I let myself indulge in pasta sometimes, I'll have tacos on occasion, I'll eat pizza and I will have real ice cream. I have also really taken to oatmeal because it really is a superfood. And besides the oats and milk, everything else is either low carb or sugar free. But to counteract the food, I run five days a week. I do no less than three miles either. I push myself when I run too. I ran a sub 25 minute 5k, which is really good for me the other day. I go longer distances. I let myself get lost on runs through neighborhoods. I burn tons of calories. But when I weigh myself, boom, 270 no matter what.

It is kind of infuriating. I don't know what to do, or why this is happening. My only theory is the pandemic, and how the mental aspect has affected my diet. I need to get back to doing super low, to no carb diet, but the mere existence of sugary and starchy foods has been too good to pass up. And when I get stressed, eating is my comfort. I know that is bad, but it is true. When the pandemic first started, it was ice cream almost every night. With the election it was cereal and milk. With the post election stuff, it has been pasta and bread and pizza. But I try to justify it by going out and running four or five miles. I guess I do need to rededicate myself to Atkins, but with the virus raging even more, all I think about to calm my nerves is what food I will eat for the day, or what I will have for dessert. It has done a number on my body too, but it isn't noticeable. It is more of the gross way, with upset stomachs and going to bed super full and bloated.

I hope that I can find a way to push myself to go back to a lower carb diet, but with more race cancellations, and the possibility of my kids going back to virtual learning soon, I doubt it will happen. I don't know, I guess I just wanted to vent today. Anyway, time for a run to counteract the pasta I will be having for dinner.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Thoughts on the 2020 NBA Draft

I wrote about my top prospects, my busts and sleepers prior to the draft last night, and now I am here to talk about what I liked, and disliked from the draft. I do want to say, every player I talked about yesterday was picked. That might be a first for me. I hope the ones I considered a "bust" prove me wrong, and some of my sleepers went way before I thought they would.

With that being said, I have some thoughts. The top three went as expected. Edwards was one, Wiseman two and Ball three. Two of these guys I had in my "busts" category. But, if you remember, I said if the Warriors drafted Wiseman my point was moot. That was exactly what happened, I think it is for the best for Wiseman, and even with the unfortunate news about Klay Thompson today, he tore his ACL again, Wiseman will still get to play on a very good team, and he won't be asked to be the star. This is the perfect situation for him. Ball to the Hornets may be what is best for him too. He is in a small market, not many people will be entirely focused on what he is doing and now Michael Jordan can beat his dad's ass in one on one. He still has some things to work on, but being out of the limelight might be best for him. Edwards is in a fine position too. He goes to a team with two all stars, they won't be expected to make the playoffs, and he will be able to display his athleticism without having to be the reason to watch the Timberwolves. These three kids ended up in probably the best case scenarios they could. That was nice to see.

Outside the top three, the draft went kind of off the rails. I do not like the Bulls taking the big from FSU, Patrick Williams. He is raw, he is also athletic, but he has a ton of work to do. Hopefully Billy Donovan will bring him along slow. The Cavs took the Okoro kid from Auburn, and I don't know much about him. The Hawks, who I thought were trying to make a trade, took the Okongwu kid from USC. I think he will fit in nice for the youth, but he won't turn many heads. The Pistons appear to still be in tank mode taking Killian Hayes at seven. They now have him and Blake Griffin. They will be lucky to win 20 games this year. The Knicks did the best thing, in my opinion, last night when they snatched Obi Toppin. He gets to pair up with Mitchell Robinson in the front court, and the two of them can make the Knicks relevant again. I loved this pick, and I texted RD to tell him how much I liked it, and that the Knicks better now screw this kid up. This was great. Then we had the Tel Aviv kid go to Wahsington, solid pick, the Suns got another hard working big in Jalen Smith, the Spurs took another young shooter in Devin Vassell, although I think they might make some moves, the Pelicans got a steal in Kira Lewis Jr and the lottery wrapped with Aaron Nesmith going to Boston, where I think he will see little to no playing time.

Outside the lottery, I love Cole Anthony to Orlando. He should start over Markelle Fultz from day one. The Heat got a solid three or four in Precious Achiuwa. I really like the Jazz taking Adoka Uzobuike. He will be a great backup to Gobert, if he stays. I wasn't so high on the Celtics taking Payton Pritchard. He is a college guy who just won't translate to the NBA. That was a reach. I wasn't too crazy about the Bucks taking RJ Hampton. Now that the Bogdanovic trade has fallen through, I thought they would go after a shooter, but they took a middling point guard instead. And I don't get the Thunder trading Ricky Rubio back to the Timberwolves for more picks. They have all the picks seemingly, but they could have used Rubio next to SGA.

The second round went faster, and I love that the Grizzlies took Xavier Tillman. He was another guy I didn't like in college, because he abused Michigan, but he will be good next to Jaren Jackson Jr, and he will be a nice spark off the bench. The Knicks hit another home run when they took Daniel Oturu. He will be a great bench player for them, and he adds depth and size. Cassius Winston didn't go until very late, pick 53, but he ended up with the Wizards, and I think he will be an exceptional backup to John Wall, and Bradley Beal will adore him. Nico Mannion may finally learn to shoot properly in Golden State, but I don't think he will see the floor much. And as for the Duke players, some got picked, and may be okay. But they won't be counted on to do much of anything.

This was a weird draft, but a fun draft. If I had to pick a team that "won", I'd actually go with the Knicks. They got my top prospect, and added one of my favorite sleepers. I also appreciate that the Warriors took Wiseman. Now I want to see how these players do in their first season, and I wish them nothing but the best.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

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Ty's 2020 NBA Draft Preview

The NBA draft is on tonight.

I know it feels like the season just ended, and that is because it basically just did. If you have been under a rock, the NBA had to stop play for three months, then finish up the 2019-20 season in the Orlando bubble. The season concluded in, I believe, late September. Then the NBA announced they were going to do a 72 game sprint season, with no all star game or festivities, and that the season would start on December 22nd. They have now let teams make trades, the draft is tonight, free agency starts on Friday and training camps and preseason start in early December. It has all been a whirlwind, but I am happy to know that I will be watching NBA games in just over one month. It's like a late birthday gift for me. I did my take on trades yesterday, and today I want to do my version of a draft preview.

I don't like doing mock drafts either. I feel like they are a waste of time. What I do like doing is picking five prospects I really like, five I think will "bust" and five sleepers. I usually give the players a sentence or two on why I have them where I do, and then it is on to the next one. Also, I'm not a big fan of calling these kids "busts". They are about to become pro basketball players, something I only ever dreamed of. But until I can find a better word for it, I guess I will have to use "bust".

Let's do the five prospects I really like in this draft. As you all know, I am not a big fan of the "one and done" thing, and I am not particularly high on teams that draft a 19 year old over a 22 year old because they think the 22 year old is "too old". That will be reflected in my five favorite prospects.

Number one for me is Obi Toppin. I love this kid's game. I actually saw him live before the world went to hell. I saw SLU almost beat Dayton in fact. But it was Toppin who wouldn't let his team lose. He is long, athletic, can shoot the three a bit, is a great, and smart offensive player and will get better on defense. I would take him number one overall. He did play three years of college ball, but who cares. This kid is the real deal, and he is my favorite player in the draft.

My number two prospect is Tyrese Haliburton from Iowa State. I know he missed a chunk of the year, but when he played he shot the hell out of the ball, and he is the best passer in the draft. He has two years of college basketball behind him, and he seems to have a natural feel. He will have to fix his release point, it is a bit low right now, but he will come in right away and be a top notch passer in the NBA.

At number three I have Anthony Edwards. I know he has gotten flak for kind of disappearing in games and practices, but this kid is built, can score from anywhere and he has an NBA body. He is a freshman, and he will struggle, but with gifts like he has on the offensive end, I think he will instantly be better than guys like RJ Barrett or Colin Sexton. He is ready to score.

At number four I have Kira Lewis Jr from Alabama. I didn't know much about him early in the season, but I watched him play Kentucky one afternoon, and I was blown away. He is an excellent ball handler, a pass first guard and has the size to match up with almost any other guard in the league. If he gets put in the right spot, he could be a future all star.

My number five prospect I like is Sadiiq Bey from Villanova. To me he is the Draymond Green of this draft, except a better shooter. He isn't the most athletic, or the best ball handler, but the kid can score, he can spot up and shoot and he plays defense. He may be a guy who tumbles a bit, but he will make the teams that pass him regret it. He has the tools to be a very good modern small lineup "big" type player.

Now to the "busts".

At number one I have LaMelo Ball. Now, I know I have written in the past how much I dislike the father, but this is not me dunking on this kid. I think he is too entitled, doesn't have a solid shot and won't thrive when he is asked to be the do it all man. I think he is an excellent passer and has a good feel, but I just think whatever team takes him in the top three will ask him to be the star, and he is not ready for that. That will take years, and NBA teams don't give players the time anymore.

At number two, and this is really hard for me because I want this kid to succeed so much, is James Wiseman. If he gets drafted by the Warriors, my point is moot. That would be perfect. But if any other team takes him, it is just like Ball. He will be asked to do it all, to be the reason fans, when allowed, come to watch the game. He hasn't played a real game in over a year, and the pressure just seems too much. I hope the Warriors take him, but if they don't, it will be tough sledding.

At number three I have Killian Hayes. Some people love this kid, but his shooting percentages are not good, his turnovers are way too high, he struggled on an average team overseas, it just doesn't add up to me. I could see him falling way down in the draft, which might be the best thing for him. But for some people to have him as the top prospect, or a top five guy, I just don't see it.

At number four, give me any Duke player that declared for the draft this year. They did not have one of the greatest freshman classes of the past. There is no Zion or Barrett or Jahlil Okafor or Jabari Parker. But the majority of that team declared for the draft, and I wouldn't be surprised if none of them were first round picks.

At number five I have Nico Mannion. This kid was the talk of the town going into last season, and he did absolutely nothing to move the needle in my opinion. He is a worse version of Nik Stauskas if you ask me. He's a spotty shooter, not much of a passer or ball handler, and he will get abused on the defensive end of the floor. Hopefully he can prove me wrong, but I just don't see it at all with him.

Now for the sleepers.

I don't watch much international basketball, and when I do it is usually clips on YouTube, but Deni Avdija from Maccabi Tel Aviv is legit. It may seem ridiculous that I have him as a sleeper, most mocks have him top five, but for me he is a sleeper. I didn't know who he was a month ago, and now I watch his highlights as much as I did Giannis and Thon Maker's when they were coming up. Hopefully he finds a middle ground between those two, but he is going to be solid.

My number two sleeper is Cassius Winston from Michigan State. I do not like watching this kid, and he carved up Michigan for four years. But I have seen him play so much, and I am stunned he isn't a first round lock. The kid can score, he can shoot from anywhere, he attacks the rim and he orchestrated a very complex offense in college to a T. He is also a very solid defender. If he falls to a contender in the late first or early second round, that would be a gift for that team. He is ready to contribute right away, and he will have a very solid NBA career.

At number three I have Cole Anthony. This kid went to UNC with a ton of fanfare, then got hurt, then UNC had a very bad year and I think people forgot about him. He is a prototype point guard, he is strong and he will be a much better NBA player than he was a college player because he feels like the type of player that thrives when playing better competition. I think teams will really regret passing on him. I look at him a lot the way I looked at Ben Simmons. And while Anthony is no Simmons, their college careers were similar, and they both just wanted to get to the league. I like Cole Anthony a lot.

At number four I have Daniel Oturu from Minnesota. Yeah it is my second Big Ten guy, but that is the conference I watch. This kid is big and athletic and will be a solid rotation guy on a good team. If he could fall to someone like Dallas or the Clippers, he will be a much needed punch off the bench. He will probably be a second round pick, but he is a first round talent.

My final sleeper, at number five I have Udoka Azubuike from Kansas. This kid is big, strong and not afraid of anyone. Think Montrezl Harrell, but 3 inches taller. He will be a great rim protector, a good old fashioned center and will be a very solid spot minutes guy until he lands as a sixth or seventh man on a playoff team.

There you have it, my fifteen players in three categories to look out for tonight during the draft. I know I left a ton of guys out, but college basketball ended abruptly, these kids haven't played real games in close to a year and these are the guys I remember most, good and bad. I am pumped for the draft tonight. The NBA offseason is in full swing people. This is great.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

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The NBA Trade Season is Off to a Bang

The NBA trade season officially started yesterday afternoon. There were some moves early in the day, Dennis Schroeder was traded to the Lakers and Bruce Brown went to the Nets. I thought this would kind of be what day one was going to be, but by noon my time, things had ratcheted up big time.

As I was sitting down to write about Michigan football, Chris Paul was traded to the Suns. I've got to say, I heard rumors about him to the Suns, but I didn't think it was going to happen. I figured he would go back to the Clippers, maybe the Bucks or maybe even the Knicks. But, he ended up in Phoenix, and I like the trade for both teams. Chris Paul makes the Suns infinitely better. He is a better point guard than anyone they have on their roster, they didn't have to give up too much and he is now paired with Devin Booker in the Suns backcourt. Booker has been clamoring for a player who can push them to the playoffs, and I think Paul is that guy. Look what he did with the Thunder roster last year, and the Suns roster is similar, if not better. Booker is an all star, Deandre Ayton has the makings of a very solid modern big, Dario Saric seemed to find some renewed confidence in the bubble and Mikail Bridges seemed to get better and better during his rookie year. Add Chris Paul to that, and the Suns have the look of a 6 or 7 seed to me.

In return, the Thunder got more picks, they seem to have them all throughout 2026, and they added Ricky Rubio, Kelly Oubre Jr and Jalen Lecque. The Thunder just got way younger, which I think they want, and they have some fun dudes to pair with Shai Gilgeous Alexander. I kind of like the backcourt of him and Ricky Rubio. Throw in Oubre Jr as a three, and this team will fly. They were also able to keep Lou Dort, who was a defensive revelation in the bubble. The Thunder will crash back down to Earth this season, but they will be fun as hell to watch on League Pass.

This was just the start of what ended up being a big day one. Later in the day some more vets for vets trades happened. The Rockets traded Robert Covington to the Blazers for Trevor Ariza and picks, DeMar DeRozan and Andre Drummond picked up their options, and Anthony Davis, Kentavious Caldwell Pope and Rajon Rondo all opted out of their contracts. I figured the Paul trade and the opting in and out would be it for the day, but around 10:30pm my time, two more big trades happened, both involving the Bucks.

First the Bucks got Jrue Holiday. I was shocked when I read this. I didn't even know that Holiday and the Bucks were an option. I had no idea that they were even talking. But this trade is an absolute home run for both teams. This is almost identical, to me, as the Paul to the Suns trade. The Bucks needed a better point guard, a two way guard that won't shrink in big games, and they got him. And they were able to get off Eric Bledsoe's deal, and they added George Hill. Losing Hill will be a bummer for the second group. but when the Bucks saw a chance to get Jrue Holiday, they jumped on it. I should also mention they added three future first round picks and 2 pick swaps. I think it was absolutely worth it. If the Bucks want to Keep Giannis, to get him to sign the super max, they needed to do a deal like this. I like Eric Bledsoe, but Jrue Holiday is a better player, full stop. Pairing him up with Giannis will make them so much more lethal in pick and roll, and on defense, my goodness they may be better than the Clippers now. Those two guys alone can stop three to four players at once. This was great.

I mentioned the players and the picks the Pelicans got in return. I am sure they will release George Hill, and I wouldn't be shocked if they do the same with Bledsoe. If they keep those guys though, they will be nice vets to have on a team that is very talented, but also very, very young. Bledsoe and Hill have put in the work and they deserve to be the veteran presence a young team needs. And the Pelicans have almost as many picks as the Thunder now. I feel like the draft, after this season, will just be the Pelicans and Thunder picking players and building their teams.

When I thought the Bucks had already won the night by adding Holiday, they went out and got one of the better shooters on the market this offseason, trading for Bogdan Bogdanovic. It was a sign and trade too. The Bucks lacked consistent shooters, that is what killed them in the playoffs in the last two years. But now they have added a defensive minded, pass first point guard that can shoot, and now they have a lethal outside shooter in Bogdanovic. He proved last year in Sacramento that he can stroke it from distance. Now Holiday has a guy he can kick to when people clog the lane for Giannis, and Giannis also has two guys he can go to when he is double and tripled teamed, and he can count on them. He hasn't really had that yet in Milwaukee. But after last night, the Bucks decided they were going to do whatever they could to entice him to stay, and that is exactly what they should do. The Bucks didn't have to give up nearly as much to get Bogdanovic either. They traded DJ Wilson, former Michigan Wolverine, but not much of a player in the NBA, Donte DiVincenzo, who has been more down than up so far in his career, and Ersan Ilyasova, who is a journeyman. They got a young, legit top tier shooter, and they only had to give up unproven, or on the end of their career players. Sacramento is going to do something else, they always do on draft night, but they didn't get much in return for Bogdanovic.

The Bucks are clearly trying to show Giannis that they are all in, and they want him to stay, and I think these moves prove that tenfold. While they gave up five players and five future picks to a pair of teams, and only got two players in return, they got the better of both trades in my opinion.

If day one was any indication of how this offseason is going to go, which I expected to be nuts, we are on the right track. I'm curious to see what else happens, especially since Harden says he wants out of Houston now, and I am excited. I like this part of the NBA offseason, and it truly started off with a bang.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

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Michigan Football is Terrible This Season

NBA trade season, free agency and the draft are all this week, but first I have to touch on my Wolverines yet again.

I know I talked about them last Monday, and kind of gave a state of where I think the program currently is. But today is different. Watching them get absolutely hammered on Saturday night was a sobering reality of how bad this team really is right now. And it is everywhere. This team is not very talented, or the talent hasn't been developed yet, the coaching is at the bottom of the barrel, and while I still do not want anyone to get fired because of this COVID season, I feel like Saturday night was the deathblow for this staff. I don't think there should be changes, and this is pure speculation on my part, but I just don't see this team improving much, if at all, and I think Harbaugh and Michigan will end up having a "mutual parting of ways" at the end of the season. When I looked at the remaining schedule last week, I thought I saw one, maybe two more wins. Now, after what Wisconsin was able to do, and how thoroughly they pummeled them, I truly do not see another win on this schedule. I fully believe that they will finish 1-7, and definitely miss out on a bowl game, and be at the bottom of the Big Ten. The Wisconsin game was my last ditch effort to really see what this team was made of. This was the game where they would either show me they had some life, or if they have already given up. It was pretty clear, after the second interception, they gave up. From that second pick, and Wisconsin scoring pretty much right away, to push the lead to 14-0, Michigan just quit. I have not seen a team quit like that since Rich Rodriguez was the coach, and his teams were far less talented, at least on paper, than the one I watched on Saturday.

It was a deflating loss, it was a brutal loss, and my dad and I were left wondering, where do they go from here? We both agreed that what we were watching is fully on the coaches. Yes, the players have to play and make plays. But, coaches have to scheme a game plan that works, and works with the players who get the bulk of the playing time. This Michigan defense just seems lost. They over pursue. They get beat to the outside in the run and pass game. The corners are not good. They commit far too many penalties. The D line cannot get pressure, and they got gashed in the run game Saturday night. I understand that they are missing Aiden Hutchinson and Kwity Paye, but Michigan recruits and gets top flight players every year. Injured players are not a viable excuse anymore. The linebackers seem like the only players worth a darn, but even they get beat in the pass game, and their tackling, outside Cam McGrone, is not good. The offense is just as lost, if not more so than the defense. The O line, since the opener at Minnesota, has totally regressed. Again, you can claim injuries, but when they had Steuber and Mayfield they weren't opening any holes. They are not very good in pass protection either. The receivers are getting zero separation, and when they are put out wide for screens, they are too slow to make much of anything happen. The running backs don't get a chance to ever get going, and when they do get carries, they dance and bounce and are usually brought down by the first tackler. I still believe that Joe Milton is the guy. He is, for me, the lone bright spot. Some Wolverine fans may read that and chastise me and tell me to go watch Cade McNamara's TD drive. That was one drive against Wisconsin's backups when the game was totally out of hand. Milton was going to have ups and downs, I have been saying that from the start. But his upside is so much greater than any other QB on that roster right now. I say let him play through this and learn, let him get through this year, and let him develop.

Again though, this all comes back to coaching. These kids don't seem to have a sense of urgency or pride. That is on the coaches. The players seem to think that they will win just because they are Michigan. That's on the coaches. The players never seem prepared or ready, and have fallen behind early in every game this year. That is on the coaches. When the MSU game happened, I thought that was a one time thing. This team has been that same team for three weeks now. The team we have seen against MSU, Indiana and Wisconsin is who they really are. The Minnesota game was a mirage, and Minnesota isn't that good either.

I do still think the coaches should be retained. I don't want them to get rid of everyone for a myriad of reasons. I don't think they will get anyone that will excite the fanbase like Harbaugh did in 2014, and I don't think the NFL is banging down his door to be a head coach. Don Brown has had some great, great defenses since taking over, but his scheme is not working with these kids, and he doesn't have the talent. His refusal to change is also kind of alarming. Michigan is still getting beat with crossing patterns with ease. And I don't think Josh Gattis has been given full responsibility to run the offense. I still think Harabugh is influencing his play calling. But, as I said before, I feel like there will be changes. I think the way Wisconsin beat them was too much to ignore for the boosters and the more rabid fans. I also think that a change will put this team behind the eight ball for another four or five years. Michigan is not in a place to go out and get a top flight coach, and there will be attrition and transfers. They will have to start all over again. As much as I don't want to see it happen, it just seems inevitable at this point.

I will still watch Michigan football every Saturday, as I have done since I was a teenager, and I will root them on with all of my heart. But there is no two ways about it, this team is not very good, and they are poorly coached.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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An Update on In Person School During the Pandemic

I realized that I haven't done a school blog in a bit, and I wanted to touch base with where we are currently.

My kids are still in school the moment I write this. That is subject to change at any moment. Things have been relatively smooth up until about a week ago. There were no cases in my daughter's school, and my son's school has had only three cases, all of which were traced and the kids and staff involved have all quarantined. But, like the rest of the US right now, cases are rising and rising fast. We received multiple emails from our kids' schools to "be prepared at any moment to have virtual learning for upwards of two to three weeks". With the rise in cases, that means that the staff at both schools has dwindled. I expected this to happen, and right around Thanksgiving was my target date. I have talked to friends via text that have kids roughly the same age, and they all said the same thing. But, for the time being, my kids are still learning in person, and for them, it has been pretty great.

Both my kids are smart, they know what they should at their ages and the learning aspect was only a slight part of why we sent them back to in person learning. The main reason we decided to send both of them back was for the socialization, and that has been amazing for them. Before, when we were doing virtual learning, which was so much better this time around, my kids would throw weird, non important fits. My son would get mad that his sister got candy and he didn't, and he would meltdown. When I would tell my daughter that she couldn't watch TV anymore for the day, she would throw a major fit, similar to what she did as an infant. It was getting to the point where they truly craved, and needed, interaction with kids their age. That part has worked tremendously. My kids are happier, more fulfilled and tired when they get home from school now. They talk glowingly of seeing their friends and teachers. My son has a pod type situation, and his best friends are in his pod. When he goes to his gifted class in school, it is the same people. He now gets to see his current best friend everyday. And it isn't like he wasn't seeing him before, they would chat on a kids messenger thing we have, and play Fortnite together, but now they get to see each other Monday-Friday, and they love it. My daughter absolutely adores her teacher, and she too has a little group of friends, there are only eight kids in her class, that she now gets to see for three hours a day, Monday-Thursday. She is most excited to tell me about who she played with everyday at school, and what her teacher did for her, more than anything else. They have both almost completely reverted back to their normal selves. They do have to, and I make damn well sure, wear their masks. Both my kids have been prepped for this, and they understand why it is so necessary if they want to continue in person learning.

As far as the schools go, they have done a great job enforcing mask rules and making sure the kids understand the importance of hygiene and cleanliness. It has been far smoother than I thought it would be to be totally honest. I thought cases were going to skyrocket within the first two weeks. They didn't, and they still haven't. But there is still the unsettling problem of rising cases in the US that we are now dealing with. I check my email far more often now because I want my kids to be ready for virtual learning again, and I have to explain to them that it will, hopefully, only be temporary. My son doesn't like it, but he gets it. My daughter though, it makes her very sad that she may have to miss school for a few weeks. I fear that, if the numbers continue on the path they are currently on, they may cut her program, and my son won't go back until after the new year. It is really all on the table at this point. For the time being we are continuing to reinforce why masks are important, and the necessity to stay in a "bubble" and to be as careful as possible because in person learning has been so successful for their socialization.

We will see what happens next, I'm sure we will have to go virtual soon, maybe only for a little bit. But, for right now, I commend the school district, the staff and the higher ups for the tremendous job they have done to keep our numbers relatively low compared to other places.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Where Should Russell Westbrook Play Next Season

Russell Westbrook said the other day that he wants out of Houston.

This felt inevitable to me. He seemed to like playing with James Harden, but his role was so diminished, he isn't a very good shooter, remember I love Russ, and when he got hurt and the pandemic hit, it felt like his time with the Rockets was going to end sooner rather than later. They got blasted by the Lakers in the second round of the playoffs, Russ didn't do much, and then Mike D'Antoni decided to leave, and it just seemed like it was going to be a full reset around Harden. That is all well and good, and it works for a player like Harden, but Russ is also an alpha, and I just couldn't really see him taking another year where he isn't the top guy on the team. He even said as much when he said he wanted out of Houston. He wants the ball in his hands like he did when he was with OKC. I totally get it. This thing in Houston felt like a one, maybe two year thing from the start. They didn't win a title, so now he wants to move on.

I have already seen some spots that people are saying he will go to. Some I think might work, others, no way it would work. For instance, the Clippers came up. I do not like this fit at all. Russ wants to be the alpha, but the Clippers already have Kawhi and Paul George. Kawhi Leonard is one of the best two way players in the game, and when George and Russ were teammates in OKC, George came up bigger when they needed it most. It sounds nice on paper, three superstars, but these three just don't mesh. I kind of think George and Kawhi don't mesh well yet either. I think they will figure it out this year, but if they added Russ, that would throw a wrench in all of that. Russ is an exceptional basketball talent, but the Clippers would have to give up way too much, and I just don't think the three stars would fit. Similarly, I do not like the Clippers for Russ at all.

I have also heard the Knicks are a spot he might like to go. This, in theory, makes a ton of sense. But I do not like this fit either. He would be the alpha immediately. He would get every touch and every big shot and he would be in the biggest market. He could put up a triple double every night with insane numbers in New York. I think, when fans are allowed, they would love him there too. But, why I don't like this fit, the Knicks are going to be terrible for a while. Russ could put up all the numbers he wanted, but at the end of the day, the Knicks are, at best, a 20 win team next year if they sign Russ, and more like a 15 win team without him. They would have him and Mitchell Robinson, and not much else. I haven't given up on RJ Barrett yet, but he was very up and down last year. But Kevin Knox and Frank Knilitina, guys like that, I have given up on. The Knicks would also have to totally rehaul their roster to acquire Russ, and I think Houston would most want Mitchell Robinson. The Knicks need to keep him because he is really good, really young and getting better. He is a building block player. I also don't think Russ would be happy being on a lottery team.

The most recent team I heard, and I shockingly to myself really like, is Charlotte. The Hornets are not a very good team, but they are young, they could use a guy like Russ, who demands so much attention, and they play in the East. I think if they could find a way to get Russ, and keep their young core, he could vault them to the playoffs. I think if Charlotte could get off by only giving up picks, and a guy like Nic Batum or Terry Rozier or Malik Monk, they should absolutely do it. They could pair Russ in the backcourt with Devante Graham, and then they have hyper athletic front court guys like Miles Bridges and PJ Washington. And then they have Tyler Zeller, who is a very poor man's Steven Adams, whom Russ thrived with. I don't think this move would vault the Hornets to the top of the East, not by a mile, but I think it would put them ahead of teams like Orlando or Indiana, if they trade Oladipo. It would also make them instantly better than Atlanta, Cleveland and Detroit. I also think Russ thrives when he is in a smaller market. He won an MVP in OKC. He carried that team. Then he had to go play in a bigger market with a bigger star, and it just didn't work. I like Charlotte the most for him for so many reasons. He is also a Jordan guy, so it doesn't hurt that the team is owned by Michael Jordan himself. I think they should pull the trigger and make a trade for Russ, and I think he should accept it. It would be weird to see him in a Hornets jersey at first, but I think he would make them a 40 win team, and that could put them in the 6,7 or 8 spot in the East. They want to make the playoffs, and Russell Westbrook could help get them there.

We will see how this all plays out.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

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Ty Watches "Superstore"

Recently my wife and I decided that we wanted to watch a new show. We have time, what with this pandemic getting worse by the day, and we decided to try the show "Superstore".

I have seen commercials for this show a bunch. We watched a good amount of shows on NBC, I sometimes watch football on NBC, and occasionally I would see an ad or a preview for the show. I was intrigued, but prior to the pandemic, I never thought to watch it. I also had a bunch of stuff to do outside of the house, so I really prioritized what I would watch. But as I said at the top, I have extended time now.

So we turned on the pilot about a week ago, and when I type this today, my wife and I will most likely finish season three this evening. I wish I had watched this show much, much sooner. While NBC isn't at FX or HBO's level, they still make really solid shows. "Superstore" can be added to that list. For those that don't know, the show takes place at a big chain business, a la WalMart or Target, and the store is in Saint Louis, an added bonus for me. The show talks about the many lives of the people that work there, and it is very funny. It is your common workplace comedy, but it works like "The Office" or "Parks and Rec" did, but this show isn't the mockumentary style the other two were. This is a single camera show, with no studio audience. This is the classic sitcom.

The actors on the show are really solid too. America Ferrera is great as Amy the floor manager. She is about as real a big chain store worker can be on TV. I know that she is acting, and she is beautiful, but she does a very good job of seeming like a person that would have that job. She totally pulls it off. I cannot think of the actor's name that plays Jonah, but he is great as well. He is funny and charming and goofy and, much like Ferrera, I buy his story arc to this point. Dina, the assistant manager, is amazing. She is funny and rude and doesn't pull any punches, and I crack up every time she loses her temper. Garrett, played by Colton Dunn, is my favorite. He is wheelchair bound, we don't know why, but his dry wit and lack of caring make me forget he is playing a handicapped person. He has some great quips and makes some hilarious faces. His distaste to buy anyone else's BS is classic. He is awesome. Glenn, the manager, has this wild voice, and he is so nice and almost a total pushover. But when he gets mad, he lets it all out. He is real good at going up and down on this show. Cheyenne is the pregnant teen that seems to have wit beyond her years, even though she is kind of dimwitted, but on purpose. When she laughs because she is uncomfortable, that is one of my favorite things on this show. And I could go on and on about all the side characters on the show. They all have their place, and the way the show literally writes for everyone, it is great. They give the main characters their shine, but the smaller roles, they have their own place on this show, and the writers make sure we remember them from episode to episode.

If you are looking for a fun, breezy, 20 minute show that will make you laugh and enjoy yourself, I highly recommend checking out "Superstore". It is on Hulu, and it is really funny and really well made. I know they are currently on their sixth season, and if we keep up the pace that we are watching the show, we will be caught up in about two weeks. It is that good.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Michigan Football is Not Very Good

Yesterday's blog was much more fun to write, and I am still kind of on a high from the results. But today, for personal and sports related reasons, today's blog won't be as much fun. Today I want to talk about my Michigan Wolverines football team.

Right off the bat, they are not a very good football team right now, and their schedule is only going to get much, much harder. Right now, if they get to play this weekend, they have Wisconsin, who has a great QB, a much better Rutgers team, Penn State, who will be going all out the rest of the season, a totally revamped and potent Maryland team and they end at the University of Ohio State. There is, maybe, two more wins there. I said when I did my preseason Big Ten thing, that Michigan was at best a 5-3 team, but more likely a 4-4 team. If the schedule plays out like I think, they will either be 2-6 or 3-5, and that feels right, even if it is not very good. This team is very young. This team has been exposed in the last two weeks. They are getting out played and out coached. The O line can't create holes, and the D line cannot get pressure. The running backs situation is almost too much. They are trying to get too many guys touches. The receivers aren't getting separation and, in the short pass game, they get tackled right away.

The only positive I have seen on the offensive side of the ball is Joe Milton. I expected him to have ups and downs all season. This is his first real playing time in major college football, and he was extremely raw coming in. But he has been good. I don't care about the picks last week, and the lack of running, he has a tremendous arm, good pocket presence and looks like he will be just fine if given proper time.

The defense is bad. Flat out. As mentioned before, the D line gets no push and no pressure, and with Aiden Hutchinson and Kwity Paye getting hurt last week, that doesn't appear to be changing anytime soon. The D line also has no discipline. They jumped offside about a million times last week. The secondary is worse. I knew it would be a transition, and that they would be the weakest link, but not this weak. They get beat on a regular basis, they interfere more times than not and they are not good tacklers. The only guy who is worth his weight in the secondary is Daxton Hill. He is good, he is just surrounded by players not close to his level. The linebackers are okay, but they can't cover either, and when they get to the QB, it is too late. They are getting exposed on run pass option plays too. They are committing too hard. Even the special teams is bad. Giles Jackson tries to house every kickoff, but usually ends up at the 15 yard line. The punters hold and hold and hold onto the ball before kicking. And field goal kicking is a mess.

This team is simply not that good. But, I do not think many changes need to be made. I'll get to the coaches in a minute, but I think the players on the field need to take their wounds and learn. Milton needs to realize how tough the Big Ten is. The running backs need to figure out how to manufacture positive gains. The receivers and tight ends need to work on making catches and then running. The defense needs to find a way to get pressure, like they always have under Don Brown, and let the linebackers fly all over the field. The only position I would look at making changes is cornerback. I think Gemon Green is fine. He made a few plays last week after settling down. But Vincent Gray just isn't cutting it. He either gets beat, or commits a penalty. They should let one of their high recruits come in and play. I also think the kids on the field need to stop pressing and just play. That was the clear difference in last week's game against Indiana. Indiana was having fun and Michigan looked miserable.

At 1-2, and with the upcoming schedule, they should just play like they have nothing to lose because they do. They won't be in a bowl game, they won't be playing for a Big Ten title, just go out there and play hard for guys like Kwity Paye and Ronnie Bell, but also have fun doing it. Football is a game. Games are supposed to be fun.

As for the coaching staff, I do not think changes should be made at the end of the year. I know Harbaugh has said, or is has been reported, that he is willing to return to the NFL. That is all well and good, but I don't think he will leave to be an assistant, and the same people that reported he was willing to return have said that there won't be much, if any, of a market for him as a head coach. He also basically gets to do what he wants at Michigan, and he is paid handsomely to do so. Also, who would Michigan go out and get that would bring the excitement that Harbaugh brought in 2014. I know it hasn't been as expected, but is Luke Fickell or Brent Venables or David Shaw or Matt Campbell going to return Michigan to glory? I don't think so. I think if they have a split, Michigan will be back to a full on rebuild akin to when Lloyd Carr retired. As for the coordinators, I think they should retain their jobs as well. Josh Gattis is only on the second year of his job, and he still hasn't gotten carte blanche. Michigan may say he has, but it is clear that he has three or four guys in his ear at any time. This team needs to spread it out more, but they tend to still lean on the run. When they let it fly, when Milton gets his shot, the offense has potential. Gattis deserves the opportunity to fully run his offense. And Don Brown is the topic of many a conversation about letting him go. I like Don Brown, and while his defense needs tweaks, they have been in the top ten ever since he has been at Michigan. They won't be this year, but this year is different. He should make adjustments, and I am sure he will, but I still appreciate his attacking style, and I want him to stick around to help mold the young players he has right now. I do not think coaching changes are the answer.

Finally, this football season has been bizarre and filled with far too many issues. These kids are playing games after having no true practices. We are in the midst of a pandemic. The players are risking their lives to play football for free. I will never put any kind of real stock into this season because there have been so many weird things that have happened. And they are only going to play, at best, nine games in the Big Ten. This football season doesn't feel real to me. So for the people who make the choices, I have to imagine they have that in the back of their minds. So, while Michigan is a bad football team right now, I would only make a few tweaks and changes, and I would not get rid of any coaches. They need to play free and have fun with the rest of the year, and then we take next season, and that is the season where we see what this team is really made of. That is what I think they should do.

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Saturday Was a Very Good Day

This is a blog I have been waiting, and hoping, to write for four years now. And I know that the current "president" is trying to throw a fit, act like a petulant child, claim there has been fraud, is firing people for no reason, not signing documents and not conceding, but Joe Biden has won the 2020 presidential election. He, and Kamala Harris are the president and vice president elect, and on January 20th, they will be in the White House.

I am very proud, and relieved. I have been on pins and needles for over a week now. I was very, very nervous about the outcome. Even when Biden gained ground, and then took the lead in Pennsylvania and Georgia, I was still very nervous. After what happened in 2016, I will always be a bit nervous about election stuff. But it is clear that Biden/Harris have won. Even with the court cases, many of which are being thrown out daily, and many, many people within the GOP telling him to concede, there is no evidence to anything that he and his people are trying to say was wrong. What he is doing is a waste of time, and is going to hurt people every day in the long run. And even with the recounts and everything, Biden/Harris are so far ahead, it really doesn't matter.

With all of that out of the way, I want to tell everyone about my Saturday when I heard the excellent news. I had been checking the news hourly to get updates since election day. I would go to bed each night still scared of the outcome. I would wake up and see where the count was now, and how many votes were left, and do the math in my own head. I was a mess. I woke up, picked my kid up from his friend's house around 10:00am, and sat down to watch Michigan, who started at 11. At around 1030am I got a text from my mom, my brothers were all attached, including RD, and she said, "President Biden", and added three blue hearts. I jumped off my couch, I texted back, "is it real!!!! is it true!!!!". My mom said, "that is what is being reported", and then RD said, "Yes, it is true". I responded with a "Yes!!!!!!", and my brother Seth said, "YES!!!!! Goodbye Mr Cheeto". Which prompted me to text, "Yeah!!!! Hell yeah!!!!". Then my phone started to blow up with texts from my friends who share my political ideals. We were all joyous. I didn't even care what happened in the Michigan game that day, they got blasted by Indiana by the way, because this country had finally gotten some good, decent news in 2020.

This year has been pretty rough. We all know that. So to get some good news, to feel human and normal again, that was nice. I spent the rest of Saturday just kind of floating around. I went for a run and ran one of my fastest 4k's to date. I kept up with my friends via text all day. I felt like I was finally able to breath again. I felt, for the first time in a very, very long time, proud to be an American. Democracy worked. The people made their choice. And I know it is kind of hip to say, "well, 70 million people still voted for that monster". That's true, but 75 million, and counting, voted for Biden and Harris.

That night my folks were over, and we watched the acceptance speech. It was amazing. Watching Kamala Harris speak was a thing of beauty. She is such a good speaker, and her speech was truly amazing. I had both of my kids come into the room to watch with us because this is history. This is something they will talk about forever. This will be in history books and be studied and mentioned until the end of time. And when she said, "I may be the first woman, but I won't be the last", I teared up. I told my daughter, who is only five, that this proves she can truly be whatever she wants to be. This gives me hope. Her speech made me so very, very proud and happy and joyful. It was truly wonderful.

Biden's speech was exactly what I hoped it would be. He was gracious in victory, and then he turned immediately to the issues. He profoundly said that he will be a "president for all the people". He told people that didn't vote for him to not turn away, that he wants to help them too. He made many mentions to political parties, but he always came back to, "we are all Americans". It was exceptional. I was floating all day, and after the speeches, I was on a cloud. It was the first time in weeks, hell years, that I have felt calm and comfort. I know they have a lot of work to do, and it will not be easy. It is going to be quite hard in fact. But, I believe that Biden, and maybe moreso, Harris, are more than up to the task. They have already gotten a COVID taskforce together, they have met and they have plans. They just need that monster currently in the White House to accept the results, and let them get to work.

Saturday was a good day. It was a celebration that was a long time coming. And just like I had hoped, Biden and Harris did just that, and then got to work the very next day. Good job America, we did the right thing. Now let's let them do their job.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Thoughts on the Upcoming NBA Season

Still no final results yet in the election. There are still lots of ballots to be counted, and we will have to wait, as hard as it may be for a lot of us right now. Just let them count all the votes and try your best to stay calm. But, we do have news in the NBA world as of last night. Let’s talk about that.

The NBA decided to start the 2020-21 season next month on December 22nd. This had been in the works for a while, and it only seemed like a matter of time until it was official. I think this definitely has pros and cons. It also means that we are a mere month and a half away from more NBA basketball, which I love. I believe training camps will start on December 1st, the draft is two weeks away, set for November 11th, and then free agency will ramp up. Basically a lot of stuff is going to happen in the next month. There is going to be a flurry of movement, draft picks and teams getting ready to go. They have also cut the schedule down to 72 games, and there is less travel. There will be more back to backs, but less travel, which is a good thing in this COVID world.

As far as what I don't like about this news, there are a few things. One, I do not think there was enough time for the four teams that made it to the conference finals, and especially the two finals teams. Those teams are going to have to recover from any nagging injuries, and they're going to have to gel with the new players quickly. They also may not be fully into the season until maybe January. I saw LeBron said that he might coast the first month, as he should. He just played a ton of basketball in the bubble, and he is older than other players. He needs to let his body rest. I also think this will cause a ton of players to use "load management" as an excuse just to get a break. I also think this is going to really water down the upcoming draft. I think the lottery teams will know who they want, but a lot of other teams are going to be trying to make moves to get vets in so they feel more prepared for the fast approaching season. I also think more guys will come in a bit more out of shape. There just hasn't been as much time, even for the teams that only played the eight seeding games.

On the good side, I am pumped for NBA guys. I love that there is going to be so many deals made between now and December. I like to see how trades are made and how players feel about it, and especially in such a short amount of time. I'm curious to see how the draft goes down too. I think it will look like the NFL draft, but I bet there will be a plethora of moves on draft day. I also like that teams that didn't get invited to the bubble will be able to play basketball sooner rather than having to wait even longer. I'm especially excited to see Golden State. They have everyone back, minus KD, and they have the second overall pick. Speaking of KD, I am kind of excited to see the Nets. KD is back, Kyrie should be healthy and they have a whole new coaching staff. I'm curious to see how Giannis comes out after winning his second MVP award. And I love that they will still have their Christmas day games. That is a tradition that I adore.

All in all I'm happy that the NBA is coming back. They showed how well they can handle the pandemic, but this will be a whole other animal. They will have to deal with travel, little to no fans in arenas, and I'm sure some positive COVID tests. But I have faith that the NBA will do the right, and best thing for the players and teams. This is some good sports news, and that is much needed given how rough football has been so far. It will be good to be watching NBA games next month. I know that much.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

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Ty Rewatches "Chappelle's Show"

Another day and we are still awaiting election results. This seems like it will go well into the weekend, and maybe even next week. We all need to be patient and make sure that every single vote is counted. We are a democracy, and the millions upon millions of people that voted should have it count. Whether you voted in person, or mailed in your ballot, it should count.

On that note, I am going to talk about a great, great show, a classic, that was just put up on Netflix. Looking for something to watch on Tuesday afternoon after I voted and my kids were hanging in their rooms, their "quiet time" I call it, I popped on some Netflix looking for anything to keep my mind off the election results. In the trending category I spotted "Chappelle's Show", and I was stoked. I was such a big fan of his show when it was first on Comedy Central. I kind of came to Dave Chappelle in a roundabout way, first seeing him in "Half Baked", then watching his show and then getting into his standup. But "Chappelle's Show", that was my jam. And since it had been such a longtime, I haven't sat down and watched a full episode in well over a decade, I had forgotten how funny it was, even in its infancy.

This show started off with a bang. The very first episode gave us a very memorable character, in Clayton Bigsby, the Black White Supremacist. This was a little bit harder to watch, given what our country has become over the last four years. But it proved how far ahead of its time this show was. The sketches, I have watched the first four episodes so far, are so well made and written and acted. Along with Bigsby, we also get Tyrone Biggums in the first four, Mos Def is his first musical guest, they do the photocopy place sketch that I consider a classic, we get the Wrap it Up commercial, they have the sketch with black people getting reparations, it is a murderers row of stuff my friends and I still quote via text to this day. That is only four episodes too. I haven't gotten to any Charlie Murphy stuff yet. There hasn't been a player haters ball yet. Rashida Jones hasn't shown up yet. The spoof of MTV's "Making the Band" hasn't come up yet. I could go on and on and on.

"Chappelle's Show" is filled with so many memorable sketches, that people my age remember fondly. This was an absolute homerun find for myself, and I am sure so many others. The only bummer is, there is only, I believe, two full seasons. Dave Chappelle left, I understand why now, and the show went out while it was one of the biggest things on TV. But I am happy that Netflix has put it back up. I'm happy that Dave Chappelle said it was okay. And I am happy that I have this little distraction to keep my mind off things and to just sit back and laugh. I will definitely be watching more this afternoon, and until, and after, we have some resolution to this election. I suggest you do the same. Damn is it a funny show.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Green Bay Did Nothing at the Trade Deadline. That is Not Good

Since we have no final results yet on the election last night, I am going to write about sports. In fact, I'm going to go full bore back into all pop culture right after we have some kind of resolution to this election. It has been wild and crazy, and seems like it will continue to be for quite some time, so sit back, find something else to occupy your mind, and try to relax. I know that is what I'm going to try and do.

Anyway, the NFL trade deadline came and went, and nothing really happened. This whole season has been weird. There are no fans, teams seem to come in and out of seriousness, players that don't get COVID seem to injure themselves and it has been a very, very down year, as I expected. What I didn't expect though, was the Packers not getting another receiver to help out Aaron Rodgers and Davante Adams.

I had been hearing and reading, I have barely watched any games this year, that Green Bay was in the market for a wideout. I thought they could have drafted one, but with the deadline approaching the other day, it seemed like they had some deals in place, or at the very least, talked to some teams about making a trade. The Packers have parts too. They can trade assets, they could give up draft picks. they have younger guys that could see the field on other teams, they have options is what I am getting at. And they wouldn't have to tear apart the core that has them sitting at 5-2 right now. But they didn't pull the trigger. They didn't make any moves. The deadline came and went, and they stood pat. This seems like a Mike McCarthy style move. I thought they were past that. I thought, with Matt LaFleur being this young "offensive guru", that they would try and put players that could work in his system. They didn't.

I'm not knocking the current guys. I love Davante Adams. I like Aaron Jones and Jamall Williams. I think the O line is great. And I knew they weren't going to get a guy like AJ Green, or go out and sign Dez Bryant or even try and lure a player from a contender, like Allen Robinson. But I thought they could get someone. I was actually really hoping that the Will Fuller trade was going to happen. He is on a bad team, he doesn't get targets, he seems like he wants out and wants to go to a good team, and Green Bay could have really used him opposite Adams. If they were able to swing a deal, and get two upper tier wideouts, why not go for it? This could have really helped out the entire offense. Teams would have had to gameplan for what could have been an even more explosive offense. When healthy, you put Rodgers out there with Adams and Fuller at wide out, that O line and Aaron Jones in the backfield, they could have been dynamite. They would have been a problem. They have been a problem for most of the season, and Jones has been hurt, and teams try to double Adams, and it isn't working for them. Bringing in Fuller would have made them that much more powerful. They would have taken over the field when on offense. Teams would have to pick and choose who they would double cover. Aaron Jones and Jamall Williams would have gaping holes to run through, and lots of field with the secondary being focused on two really good receivers. But they just didn't do it. And then they made excuses, claiming that they "never wanted to make a trade". If that's true, that is a bummer. But I don't think it is true, I think Green Bay, as they have always done, didn't get exactly what they wanted, or if they did they asked for more, and the Texans said no thanks.

Oh well, I guess they are happy going 11-5 and winning a playoff game before being ousted by a younger, better team. They should have, and definitely could have made this trade. Why they didn't, I don't think I'll ever understand.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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