Ty's 2020-2021 NBA Preview: The Maybe Playoff Teams

Day 3 of my NBA countdown has us close to teams that could be in the playoffs. With the expanded playoffs, and the play in tournament, I wouldn't be shocked if any of these teams make it. I also wouldn't be shocked if they don't. These teams, to me, are right on the edge of becoming perennial contenders, they just aren't quite there yet. Let's go.

At number 20 I have my favorite team, the Memphis Grizzlies. The Grizzlies were probably the biggest surprise of last season. I loved the Ja Morant pick. He was my number one prospect last season, and the Grizzlies have their building block for the foreseeable future. He is so good, so talented and, once his jumper becomes consistent, will be an MVP candidate. Jaren Jackson Jr is inconsistent, and gets hurt too often, but when he is on the floor, he is good. He is still figuring it out, but I have faith that he will continue to develop, and he and Morant will soon be a formidable duo. This is where things turn for me though. The Grizzlies weren't supposed to be good last year, but they were. Morant was awesome, and the rest of the roster played some of the best basketball of their careers. I think they will fall back to Earth this season. The roster, outside Morant and Jackson Jr, is not as great as it could be. Grayson Allen is somehow a contributor, but I do not like that kid at all. I also do not think he will see the floor as much this year. Dillon Brooks can be a lethal shooter, but he hogs the ball a bit too much, and his shot isn't totally consistent. They traded for Justice Winslow last year, but he has yet to play double digit games for them due to a plethora of injuries. Jonas Valincunas is good, but he is getting older, and his style of play is becoming extinct. I love Brandon Clarke, and I want him to get more minutes so he can really shine. Kyle Anderson and Tyus Jones are very blah to me. They still have Gorgui Dieng, but I would hope they find a trade partner for him soon. It is just, outside three guys, Morant, Jackson Jr and Clarke, they don't have the horses to compete in the West. Last year was great, and fun as a fan. But the team we saw in the bubble seems more indicative of how they will be this season. Morant is a star though.

At number 19 I have the Golden State Warriors. They would have been much higher, a playoff lock, if Klay didn't get hurt. He did, and they are left to kind of scramble now. Steph and Draymond are back. That is great for them, for Steve Kerr, and for their fans. I hope Steph stays healthy, and that he lights up the arena. I hope Draymond stays in shape and focused and returns to being the great defender and leader they need. I really like the James Wiseman pick. He has a ton of raw ability, and I think this coaching staff will bring him along perfectly. But then we have a mishmash similar to what they tried to do last year. Kelly Oubre Jr is a fine player. But, he is not Klay on either end of the floor. Marquess Chriss played his best basketball last season, but he was getting beat consistently on defense. Eric Paschall was a total revelation, and I think he will continue his upward trend, but teams will gameplan for him now. Kevon Looney is coming back from injury, but I just don't know how much he has left in his tank. Andrew Wiggins is Andrew Wiggins. I want to root for him, and I do, but at some point we all have to accept that he is a mediocre NBA player. Kent Bazemore was a solid signing, but he has been on like three teams in the last three years. He will not replace Klay either. Jordan Poole bounces from G League to the NBA. And Nico Mannion, go back and read my pre draft review on him to get my impression of him as an NBA player. Losing Klay is a killer, and I do not know if we will ever see the Warriors of the past ever again. The main guys are all older, coming off injuries and have to play a brutal schedule.

At number 18 I have the Washington Wizards. The only two reasons they are in this spot is because of Brad Beal and the fact that they play in the East. Brad Beal is a bonafide super duper star. He is a scoring machine, he has impeccable work ethic and he brings it every night. I think adding Westbrook was fine, and when he is healthy he plays great with good shooters. But he needs to know that this is Brad Beal's team. I think he will eventually buy into that, it is just a matter of how long that takes. Thomas Bryant is a good offensive center, but he gets chewed up on defense. He needs to improve that part of his game. I am glad they re-signed Davis Bertans because his shooting ability takes pressure off Westbrook and Beal. I want to see if Rui Hachumuira is like the guy we saw before the shutdown, or after. He was getting good, then the pandemic hit, and he really struggled in the bubble. Robin Lopez brings intensity, but not much else. Moritz Wagner is a big that can shoot, and nothing else. And Ish Smith and Shabazz Napier are essentially the same player. But, Beal puts this team in the playoff conversation, and if Westbrook can be a mixture of the player he was last year, and in his MVP season in OKC, the Wizards will be a lock to be in the play in tournament, at the very least. Beal is so much fun to watch.

At number 17 I have the Orlando Magic. The Magic are the definition of a team in NBA playoff purgatory. They are good enough to get the 7 or 8 seed, and then get crushed in round one. They play solid enough defense to win 40-43 games, and nothing more. They could have done some stuff this offseason, but they stayed put. They will most likely make the playoffs due to their defense, and they will get obliterated in round one. They could have traded Aaron Gordon, but they opted to keep him. He is fine, but he is, at best, a 4th or 5th guy on a good team. Markelle Fultz was light years better than he has been so far in the league, but he still cannot shoot, and teams know that. Johnathan Issac destroyed his knee in the bubble, and he will be out all year. That is a humongous blow to this team. Mo Bamba got a little better, but he is still rail thin, and he doesn't protect the rim to his fullest extent yet. Nikola Vucevic is about the only offensive threat they have, and he fills up the stat sheet, but he is about the only guy that doesn't play good defense on this team. Evan Fournier is okay, but that is it, just okay. Terrance Ross is a good bench player, but he is counted on way too much on this team. And replacing DJ Augutin with Michael Carter Williams only helps in getting a little younger. Orlando will be a 35-38 win team, get in the playoffs and get trounced. That is what they do. They need to make changes, but they will not commit to it just yet. Ownership seems fine with first round playoff exits every year.

The final team for today, the first you can pencil in for the playoffs, at number 16 I have the Indiana Pacers. I texted with some friends about my rankings, and they all thought this was way too low. They said Indiana should be higher. I disagree. I think they are going to take a step back. It won't be as dramatic as OKC's, but still, the Pacers will not be as good as they have been. I like their guys too. i like Victor Oladipo, but it seems like he wants out. I like Damontas Sabonis, but I don't think he is ready to be a franchise player. I back Myles Turner more than others, but always hearing your name in trade rumors has got to take its toll. I think Malcolm Brogdon was an excellent signing last year, but he got COVID prior to the bubble, and he wasn't super great when he returned to play. TJ Warren was a microwave in the bubble, but when he went up against real defenders, namely Jimmy Butler, he was shut down. Doug McDermott and Jeremy Lamb are okay shooters, but they are zeros on defense. And firing Nate Williams was a big time mistake in my opinion. I think the Pacers, as they are built right now, are good enough to make the playoffs, but they are not good enough to push a team, and they will most likely get bounced with ease in round one. They could also make a ton of changes during the season.

That's it for today. Come back tomorrow for the next five. We are in the group of all playoff teams, quickly approaching real contenders.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

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SeedSing Classic: The Advent Calendar of Great Holiday Movies: Day 8 "He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special"

ed note: This article was originally published on December 8th, 2018

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy

Day 8: “He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special”

Opened Doors: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7

There are times when we may find ourselves in a place that does not have the same traditions and customs that our own home celebrates. We may go to a new part of the world that our western way of life has not been the primary influence. First thing to know, do not be rude. We can introduce our customs and traditions, but we must respect the ways of the indigenous people’s. We may learn some new traditions to bring home, and we may impart part of our way of life to make a positive impact on their day to day dealings. These lessons of understanding and sharing are not just important to Earth, but to all the planets we may accidentally visit that are spread out among the universe.

On December 25th 1985, the “He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special” aired once on American televisions, and was then released as a VHS so families could enjoy the movie every holiday season. The story centered around two Earth kids who were accidentally transported to the planet Eternia and they just want to get home for Christmas. The wizard Orko initially accompanies the kids, and he learns all about this holiday called Christmas. Orko is on board with this great day, and he wants all his Eternia friends to get in on the action.

Since this a He-Man She-Ra joint venture, the audience is treated with the double dose of villainy that is Skeletor and Hordak. The two bad guys want to please their great evil master by bringing the earth kids to him (or to it, Horde-Prime may have a masculine voice but is just a big colorful cloud, I do not think cloud’s have genders. I could be wrong.). Unfortunately Hordak and Skeletor do not like each other, and refuse to work together. Through some sort of shenanigans, Skeletor ends up with the two earth kids in his custody and he is going to bring them to Horde Prime.

The moments with Skeletor and the earth children is what makes the “He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special” an instant classic. The kids teach Skeletor all about Christmas, and the evil ghoul seems all in. He asks if their are fights and exploding presents, the kids say no there are only nice things that people want at Christmas time. The problem is that Skeletor likes fights and exploding presents, oh and he is definitely not nice. See the magnificent scene for yourself.

Thanks to a well timed attack from a snow beast, and a dog that keeps licking Skeletor’s fleshless face, the once evil scourge of Eternia seems to be infected by the Christmas spirit. He saves the kids from the snow beast, saves them later on from Hordak and Horde Prime, and doesn’t beat the hell out of He-Man and She-Ra when they have a laugh at Skeletor’s Scrooge like change of heart. The Earth tradition of Christmas saved everyone on Eternia the inconvenience of a Skeletor scheme on this one day of the year. God bless us everyone.

The best of our traditions that get passed down generation to generation usually have great kindness at their heart. Eternia may not have had Christmas before a couple of Earth kids got caught up with the careless Orko, but the ideas of generosity, togetherness, and being nice had a great effect on the planet’s number one Grinch. For good measure the earth kids also got to take home a tradition from Eternia. Man at Arms gifted them some run of mill rocket belts. Befriend Skeletor and get a couple of rocket belts, it is going to be hard to top that Christmas.

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. If the earth is destroyed in a nuclear war, will Christmas still exist? Weird Al Yankovic seems to think it will.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Ty's 2020-2021 NBA Preview: Not This Year

Day 2 of my NBA countdown features five better teams than yesterday, and again, I think the Thunder are going to be a force in a few years, but not that much better. The NBA really is down to about five or six teams, honestly maybe just three teams, that are true title threats. But at least it isn't like when the Warriors had KD and it was already a done deal that they would win when healthy. Let's get to it.

At number 25, and I cannot believe I have a team coached by Greg Poppovich this low, and I hope he proves me wrong, is the San Antonio Spurs. The Spurs have been one of the most reliable franchises in my entire two decades of fervently watching the NBA. They were always a playoff team, usually a threat to win a round or two, and would win titles from time to time. First it was teaming up Duncan with David Robinson, then drafting and developing Kawhi and then surrounding Kawhi and Duncan with some of the greatest role players ever. Then Duncan retired. Then Kawhi asked out. And here they are now. They were invited to the bubble, but they did not make the playoffs for the first time in forever. And while the Spurs have big names, DeMar DeRozan and Lamarcus Aldirdge, they are older, DeRozan wants out and they cannot keep up with the modern NBA. I am a DeRozan and Aldridge fan, I like both guys, but there is no way around the fact that they have aged, and not very well. I also like Rudy Gay, but I think he is as old as me, and he doesn’t have the juice he used to. I love the younger guys they have, like Lonnie Walker, Dejounte Murray and Derrick White, but they can't all be on the floor at the same time. I think Keldon Johnson has talent, he just has to be groomed, and it may take a few more seasons. Jakob Poeltl, Trey Lyles and Patty Mills are solid vets, but at this point they seem more like trade bait now. The Spurs have the greatest basketball coach of all time, and they will be competitive. The simple fact is, they don't have the talent needed, especially in the West, to make the playoffs.

At number 24 I have the Minnesota Timberwolves. I know they have playoff aspirations, and they took Anthony Edwards number one overall, which will help scoring, and they paired KAT with D'Angelo Russell, but I just don't see this team getting over the hump quite yet. They do have all that young talent, throw Jarrett Culver in there too, but they play in the West, and they don't play much defense. If the Timberwolves were in the East, maybe they have enough offense to overcome their defensive deficiencies. But they don't, and the top teams in the West will eat them up. For all the great things KAT and Russell do on offense, they are flat out bad defensively. Edwards is a brick house, and a walking bucket, but he didn't play much D his one year in college. Culver was supposed to be the defensive guru, but he didn't have the greatest rookie year on that end. I think he can be better, but it will take time. The rest of the roster is ho hum to me. Josh Okogie is fine, but no better than a bench player. They have Ricky Rubio again, but he is only older and slower. Malik Beasley can score, I just don't know how much time he will be on the floor. Naz Reid dominated the G League, but now he is going to have to play against the best of the best. And Jake Layman is so blasé. The Timberwolves are moving in the right direction, and I love that Flip Saunders son is the head coach, but they are still a few years away, and they need to keep this core together to reach any vision of what they expect their future to hold.

At number 23 I have the Charlotte Hornets. The Hornets did a few things right this offseason. They took Lamelo Ball, which was a smart pick, and were finally able to get off Nic Batum's contract. They found out Devontae Graham is a solid player, and were able to get rid of Michael Kidd-Gilchrist. They also finally shed Tyler Zeller and Frank Kaminsky. But then they took these moves, and the money left over, and went out and gave Gordon Hayward way, way too much money. They also gave Terry Rozier far too much money. For as great a player Jordan was, the GOAT, he is not a very good GM. They seemed to be doing correct stuff, then they did that deal for Hayward, and it just took me right back to the Batum deal. Hayward is a shell of the player he was in Utah, and only got worse, and bypassed by better players in Boston. Rozier is a solid offensive guy, but he is so much better in a Lou Williams role, than as a starter. Ball is going to be okay, and I think playing in Charlotte is big time for him, but he is a rookie, and a young rookie. Malik Monk is not the scorer I thought he would be coming out of college. PJ Washington is good, and he should get the bulk of minutes at the 4. Miles Bridges is hyper athletic, but I still don't know if he can shoot. Outside these guys it is a really mishmash of players. I thought they could compete for the playoffs this year, but it just doesn't look likely. I will watch them on League Pass because they should be fun, but fun doesn't equal wins.

At number 22 I have the Sacramento Kings. The Kings are still just an absolute mess. They cannot get out of their own way. They missed, at least so far, on the Luke Walton hiring. When he doesn't have guys like Steph and Klay at his disposal, it is a lot harder to coach. DeAaron Fox is awesome, and I am stoked that he got a max deal, but I do not see much else that is desirable about that team. Buddy Hield wants out, and his shot was off last year. Marvin Bagley cannot stay healthy. Harrison Barnes is going down the Rudy Gay path. Hassan Whiteside is a head case. Jabari Parker has been a bust, and he got COVID a few months ago. Richaun Holmes plays hard, but he just doesn't have that "it" quality. I like Tyrese Haliburton, but I feel like the Kings are going to screw him up. The Kings need to play fast and space the floor. The only problem, the only guy they have that can do that is Fox. No one else plays like that, or if they do, they cannot stay healthy. The Kings are in NBA purgatory.

My final team of the day, at number 21, I have the New Orleans Pelicans. Some may say this is too low for them, that they should be a playoff team, but I am not ready to put them there yet. I love the Stan Van Gundy hire. I think he will do very good things with that team. I also love how many picks they have in the near future. The Pelicans and the Thunder will own the draft for the next decade. And I like their young, talented core. But, they have issues with health and defense and depth. Zion Willamson is an other worldly talent. He is a once in a lifetime player. He is amazing. But, he has had issues at Duke and during his rookie year with injuries. I want him to stay healthy because I love watching him play. Lonzo Ball is a solid defender and very good passer, but he is a bad shooter. Brandon Ingram is an awesome offensive player, and I personally think he is their best overall player. He deserved his max deal. Jaxson Hayes is as raw as they get, but I bet Stan Van Gundy can mold him into a defensive force. I like the addition of Steven Adams, and I think Zion will too. But Adams doesn't add much space. And Eric Bledsoe and Josh Hart are okay enough to get some minutes. The big problem with this team for me is health. If they can stay healthy, and that is a humongous if, they could fight for the playoffs. I don't think they will, and I think they are still a bit young. They also have the West to deal with. New Orleans will be good, a perennial playoff team, just not yet.

That is it for today. Come back tomorrow for 5 more teams. We are starting to get to the better, possibly playoff bound teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing. 

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 7 - "The Late Show with David Letterman - December 19th, 2014 "

ed note: This article was originally published on December 7th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy

Day 7: "The Late Show with David Letterman - December 19th 2014"

Original air date - it is right there in the title.

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six

Every year around Christmas we listen to the same songs and watch the same television shows. We all have our traditions, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. These little bits of holiday pop culture sometimes get us into the right mood during a cold December night. These annual traditions help us look back to other pleasant times we experienced during the holiday season. There is a comfort in looking forward to that one thing that makes our holiday season extra special.

David Letterman once famously said that it is not the Christmas until he hears Darlene Love sing that song. The song in question is the new standard (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home. Vanity Fair has a great oral history of how Darlene Love ended up on Letterman for almost thirty years singing her iconic song. That first appearance in 1986 was simple, and without pomp, but a beloved holiday tradition was born.

The small band, and ugly holiday sweaters, had nothing on Phil Spector's iconic Wall of Sound, but Darlene Love still slayed with her vocals. Since that appearance, Darlene Love, Paul Shaffer, and David Letterman made (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home a fixture on Late Night, and then The Late Show. Only a writers strike would stop the trio from letting Letterman start Christmas. Many even believe that Love's Late Show appearances helped her finally, rightfully so, get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

On December 19th, 2014, Darlene Love performed (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home for the last time on The Late Show. In May of 2015, David Letterman retired from the late night game. Everyone knew that the December 19th performance was going to be the last, and nothing was held back. The four-piece backing band of 1986 was replaced by a horn section, strings, backup singers, and Paul Shaffer on a grand piano. Love even decided to belt out the last few lines on top of the piano because she was afraid of breaking down when Letterman came to give her a hug. The 2014 performance of (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home was an epic curtain call for a singer, a talk show host who was a fan, and the viewers that counted on Darlene Love to usher in the holidays every year on late night television.

Our holiday traditions are something to be celebrated. Listening to the same songs, or watching the same tv specials, is what makes December a great time. We all have that one special pop culture thing that gets us in the right Christmas mood. David Letterman had Darlene Love sing that song. We were truly lucky to share this tradition with Mr. Letterman.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The holidays do not start for him until he hears Linus and Lucy.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Ty's 2020-2021 NBA Preview: The Worst of the Worst

As wild as it seems, the next NBA season starts in 15 days. We are two weeks away from the season.

This is wild to me, but I am stoked. I love the NBA, I loved the bubble, I am stoked to see some of the rookies that were drafted, want to see some of the guys that switched teams and am just happy that pro basketball is back. They proved they can do a season during this pandemic, and while I am sure they will run into some problems, I do not envision the NBA having the same issues as the NFL or MLB or college sports. The people in charge know what they are doing, and they have already laid out a 158 page rule book for the upcoming season. The pandemic is still raging, with no signs of slowing down any time soon, but I think the NBA can pull this off again. I am also a big fan of the 72 game sprint, with no all star game or any other distraction.

With all this being said, I am going to do my traditional NBA season countdown of teams, from worst to best. I love doing this. I will do five teams a day, explain why I have them where I do and after I am done counting all the teams down, I will do predictions, including awards, possible stoppages and my finals pick. Let's get to it.

Coming in at 30, the bottom of the barrel, I have the Cleveland Cavaliers. The Cavs just don't seem to really have a plan right now. They have talent, but it is young and they have too many similar players. They also totally whiffed on the John Beilein hire. I do think JB Bickerstaff is a solid head coach, but he doesn't have much to work with. Collin Sexton and Darius Garland are good, but not that good. They aren't guys to build around. I am a big Sexton fan, but he is very inconsistent. Garland looked like a guy that barely played in college last season. Kevin Love clearly wants out, and he is older. Larry Nance Jr is hyper athletic, but he isn't really anymore than a dunker. Andre Drummond is in purgatory there, and I think he wants out. Isaac Okoro is an okay pick, but he doesn't move the needle for me yet. And the rest of the roster has older vets that haven’t done much. Guys like Matthew Dellavedova, Javale McGee, Thon Maker and Dante Exum fill out the roster. Sure, a couple of them have rings, but it has nothing to do with them. The Cavs will be a lottery team yet again.

At number 29 I have the Detroit Pistons. I mean, I trashed the Cavs roster for having older vets, but the Pistons make that look tame. Derrick Rose is the point guard. He is good, and has improved, but I have to imagine he will be gone soon. Blake Griffin is the 4, but he has lost his explosiveness, and he is now a guy teams don't want to trade for. Jahlil Okafor just signed there, but he has never figured out the NBA. He should have played in a different era. Josh Jackson, who I absolutely loved when he was in his draft, has been a total bust. And this has to be something like the tenth team Trevor Ariza has played on. The Pistons have some youth, but it isn't team building youth. Sekou Dembouya has some skills, but he barely sees the floor. Svi Mykhaliuik has already been traded three times, and he has been in the league for 3 years. I like the Saadiq Bey pick, but he may not get enough playing time to flourish. And poor Zhaire Smith can't seem to catch a break. The Pistons may be the least desirable team in the NBA right now. They are better than Cleveland because Derrick Rose proved he is on his way back, but just barely better.

At number 28 I have the OKC Thunder. I know they were a playoff team, and they pushed the Rockets to seven games last season, but they offloaded two of their best guys. I understand why, but still, losing Chris Paul and Steven Adams is going to take a toll. I love love love Shai Gilgeous Alexander, and he has gotten better each of his two seasons. Now we will have to see how he does as the main guy every night. He is going to have the keys to run this offense. Lugentz Dort was a revelation in the bubble as a defensive force. But he is not a great shooter, and he will have to guard the other team's best guy every night. That takes a toll. Andre Roberson came back last year, in the bubble in fact, but he looked like a shell of himself. Hamidou Diallo is a freak athlete, but that is it. He isn't much of a shooter or defender. Darius Bazley can hit threes, but he will be a starter on this team. And while it is nice to have Danny Green and George Hill, they aren't Chris Paul and Steven Adams. The Thunder are going to take a major step back. But, they have SGA and a gang of draft picks. They won't be down for very long.

At number 27 I have the New York Knicks. Now, I usually pick on the Knicks with just cause. But, I actually like the direction they could be headed in. I am not a fan of the Tom Thibodeau hiring. But maybe it will be better since he is just the coach. He is not the GM like he was in Minnesota. I also love the pick of Obi Toppin. I think pairing him with Mitchell Robinson is going to make their front court a very formidable one, especially if Toppin can play semi serviceable defense. Robinson can take care of the rest. But after that, this is where they fall off for me. RJ Barrett proved he could score, but he takes far too many shots, is inconsistent and not a willing passer yet. Kevin Knox is not nearly as good as I thought he would be. He is actually, according to statisticians, one of the worst players in the league. Frank Ntilikina is a solid defender, but he is a mess on offense. Dennis Smith Jr, another player I really rooted for as a rookie, has never really found his place in the league. Julius Randle is a good scorer, but nothing more. Signing Austin Rivers and Michael Kidd-Gilchrist was so ho hum I actually forgot they were on the team until I did some research. The Knicks are a ways away from being relevant again. But, if Toppin and Robinson find a way to coexist and share the court, they could be a duo that older stars might want to come play with. The Knicks have two guys that they can build off of. The only question, or questions, will it work, and will they be willing to wait? Time will tell.

My final team for the day, at number 26, I have the Chicago Bulls. I saw some rankings that had them as high as the late teens, and people are praising the Billy Donovan hire, which I agree is a solid hire, but this roster leaves a TON to be desired. I really like Coby White, and I think he has the tools to be an all star. He just needs to have a coach that will let him play through mistakes. After him though, I am not sold, at all, on this roster. Zach Lavine is their "guy", but he is so average to me. He is an excellent leaper, and his jumper has gotten way better, but he shows no effort on defense, and he is clearly not a player to build a roster around. Lauri Markanen had a solid rookie year, then got hurt and really struggled last year. I feel like last year is more indicative of the type of player he will be. Wendell Carter Jr never got the chance to be himself under Jim Boylen. Maybe Donovan changes that, but Carter has got to get that killer instinct back. I am not a big fan of the Patrick Williams pick. He is very talented, but also very raw. I also do not want to see him take minutes away from Wendell Carter Jr. And in looking at the rest of the roster, it is very blah. At least when Donovan took the Thunder job he had a player of Russell Westbrook's talent. He doesn't have any player near his level, and the vets are total also rans. Otto Porter Jr and Noah Vonleh and Denzel Valentine and Daniel Gafford and Thad Young, those names just don't jump off the page. Billy Donovan has his work cut out for him, and so does Coby White. I think those two will be fine, it is the rest of the roster that worries me, and should worry Bulls fans. They are not a playoff team yet, as some have predicted.

That does it for day one. This rules. Come back tomorrow for the next five teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing. 

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 6 - "The Wonder Years: Christmas"

ed note: This article originally premiered on December 6th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 6: "The Wonder Years: Christmas"

Original air date, December 14th, 1988

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

We all wanted that one perfect gift for Christmas. Many times that gift was made by Nintendo. In the mid-eighties there was the original NES, 2006 saw the Wii, and in 2016 we are all out desperately searching for the original NES once again. There was the Furby, Cabbage Patch Dolls, and Tickle Me Elmo that drove people crazy during past holiday shopping sprees. Sometimes we wanted that perfect gift to be a big purchase we have been holding off on. A new car, a big vacation, or even the latest and greatest in television technology could be the gift that makes that particular Christmas the most memorable ever. That big gift would consume much of our holiday spirit.

In 1988, "The Wonder Years" was early in it's second season. The show was coming off a Best Comedy series Emmy and was quickly being recognized as one of the must-watch shows on all of television. Baby boomers loved the nostalgia, and gen xers loved the characters. Kevin, Paul, Wayne, Jack, Norma, and of course Winnie Cooper were people we wanted to spend time with. The third episode of the second season was to be the first of many Christmas-themed stories.

"Christmas" starts off with Kevin, Wayne, and Norma marveling at the new color televisions on display at the local store. They have decided that for this Christmas, color tv is at the top of their wish list. Throughout the entire episode, the members of the Arnold clan find their own way to convince patriarch Jack that a color television would make this Christmas extra special. Jack acts in his normal sensible way, but at one point he even admits to wanting a color television. Is the price worth it, or even feasible, is what troubles Jack. Reality is not on display for the rest of the Arnold's, and the color television becomes the obsession for Christmas.

Kevin Arnold is not only entranced by the hope of color tv, he also is still pining for Winnie Cooper. While daydreaming of a moment with Winnie, she approaches Kevin to present the young man with a Christmas present. Her only wish is that Kevin wait until Christmas to open the gift. This moment drives the smitten younger Arnold to find a perfect gift for Winny. He and Paul end up at a mall so Kevin can find the right perfume for Miss Cooper. After many attempts, he settles for a simple snow globe. In Kevin;s mind, getting a gift is what really matters.

Like any good episode of "The Wonder Years", the third act reveals the folly of Kevin's thoughts. When delivering his gift to Winnie, Kevin learns her family has decided to suddenly leave town and not spend Christmas at home. In the pilot episode of "The Wonder Years", we learn that Winnie's brother Brian was killed in Vietnam. This was to be the Cooper's first Christmas at home without their son, and they decided to spend the holidays elsewhere. Later, Kevin catches up with his color tv obsessed family as the sing Christmas carols. In the middle of song, it starts to pour down rain on the Arnold clan. All the anxiety of the holidays washes away as Jack breaks out into uncontrollable laughter. The rest of the family joins the father, and Kevin realizes what real memories are made on Christmas. The best memories of the holidays come from being together and experiencing the unexpected. Wanting something does not make for Christmas magic, experiencing something does. We learn that the family did not get their color tv that year, but nobody cared. Winnie's gift to Kevin was a simple four leaf clover and the wish of luck in the upcoming year. This Christmas was memorable because of what was unexpected, and welcomed.

There is a very good chance that most of us will not get that new car, big vacation, or mini classic Nintendo this Christmas. Right now in early December we may hope for the unexpected, and unreasonable, to happen. Really though, chances are that the perfect gift we have in mind now will not appear on Christmas morning. The thing is that we will not remember this holiday season for  what we did not get. Something will happen, unexpectedly, that will put this Christmas into our own personal history books. We just have to let those events come to us.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is still interested in that mini NES. It would be an unexpected surprise to find one this holiday season.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Music: Day 5 - I Wish it was Christmas Today

ed note: This article was originally published on December 5th, 2015

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy

Day 5: "I Wish it Was Christmas Today" by Julian Casablancas

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four

The conventional wisdom tells us that the winter holiday shopping season peaks on Black Friday. Once the day after Thanksgiving doorbusters are exhausted, the general public falls into a slower holiday shopping pattern. I disagree with this theory. Black Friday does have a large mob of people looking to score off brand electronics for ultra low prices, but the majority of sane people save their holiday shopping for after the mayhem. The first weekend of December is when the holiday shopping season really kicks into high gear. This is when the Christmas spirit starts its full invasion into our culture.

"I Wish it Was Christmas Today" started out as a simple SNL sketch featuring Horatio Sanz seemingly playing a novelty guitar and singing, Chris Kattan head turning and holding a very large keyboard, Jimmy Fallon providing backing vocals and very rarely playing the keyboard, and lastly Tracy Morgan awesomely dancing in place. Every few years the quartet would add a few lyrics, but the singing and dancing remained the same. Tracy Morgan is great in nearly everything he does, but I do think this is the funniest skit that Sanz, Fallon, and Kattan have ever done. Every year I would look forward to hearing "I Wish it Was Christmas Today" on SNL. The simple tune immediately put me into the holiday spirit.

In 2009 The Strokes lead singer Julian Casablancas released a cover of "I Wish it Was Christmas Today". The simplicity of the SNL version was replaced by a hyper kinetic ultra joyful new song to celebrate the holiday season. Casablancas version of the song starts at the top and never relents. For just under 4 minutes, the holiday season gets the positive excitement it so truly deserves.

Both the SNL and Casablancas versions of "I Wish it Was Christmas Today" celebrate the happiness of Christmastime. There are endless stories on the news of people complaining about the length and commercialism Christmas. Fox News invented the moronic War On Christmas to continue their agenda of splitting the country and feeding the idea of white christian victim-hood. "I Wish it Was Christmas Today" leaves all the negativity behind and says that Christmas kicks ass.

Today I will be out starting my holiday shopping. My house is decorated. my spirit is getting into high gear, and "I Wish it Was Christmas Today" will be on my playlist. The crowds at the stores, the idiots at Fox News, and all the naysayers will not dampen my holiday spirit. I love the awesomeness of the holiday season.  I do't care what anybody says, I wish it was Christmas today.

RD Kulik

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. He is hungry right now and really wishes it was Thanksgiving today. Tell us about your favorite time of year by writing for SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: The Advent Calendar of Great Holiday Movies: Day 4 "Batman Returns"

ed note: This article originally premiered on December 4th, 2018

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a great movie associated with the holiday season. Many will be awesome, some will be extra awesome. Enjoy.

Day 4: “Batman Returns”

Opened Doors: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3

The holiday season is filled with beautiful scenery and insane people. There is something magical about the look of fresh snow on late December night, but our boss at work may just kill us. The twinkle of the lights bring a feeling of festive joy, but we also know that some hideous looking forgotten son may arise from the sewer and try to take over the city. The sounds of children singing Christmas carols warms our heart, but a batman is out there having a sensual fight with a catwoman trying to keep the streets a bit more safe for the Christmas season. It is a weird time of the year.

In the summer of 1992 director Tim Burton and actor Michael Keaton delivered the promised sequel to their smash hit movie “Batman”. This time around Michelle Pfieffer and Danny DeVito joined Keaton’s Batman as Selina Kyle/ Catwoman and Oswald Cobblepot / The Penguin respectively. Christopher Walken even joined the action as the villainous Max Schreck, a wild haired character created just for this film. The movie split some critics with many for and against the movie pointing to the surreal atmosphere Tim Burton brought to his vision of Gotham City. The snow was a blueish gray, the lights twinkled against the large impressive Gothic buildings, and the film takes place during the holiday season. ‘Batman Returns” would be the last Burton/Keaton outing for the Dark Knight. The weirdness of the this particular summer blockbuster was not acceptable by the major Hollywood studios of the early 1990’s.

What “Batman Returns” has in strangeness, it pays the audience back with a great story for the holidays. Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle are insane, lonely, people. They find each other under a mistletoe in the midst of a struggle. The magic of the holidays takes over. Grotesque, and abandoned, Oswald Cobblepot comes back to a city who is willing to embrace the monster. The holiday spirit asks us to see the good in people. An army of penguins equipped with rocket launchers almost destroys a city, the first born son of every household is nearly kidnapped, but through the chaos and destruction Bruce Wayne and Alfred the Butler know to wish each other a Merry Christmas in the end. The holidays are too strong to let super villains, industrialists, and Catwomen bring it all crashing down. Batman knows this.

Every great holiday movie does not need to be steeped in the mythical figures of the North Pole, we can have a holiday lesson with the mythical figures of our comic books. Tim Burton saw the serene strangeness of the holidays, and he used it to tell a Christmas tale using the Batman. Chaos, quietness, destruction, and togetherness all have a place in every person’s holiday season. Embrace the gifts, and discard the negative. Batman and Catwoman learned this lesson in “Batman Returns”. Let us all bask in their victory.

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. Hanukkah is different year to year. Tragedy does not care for respecting the holidays, but people do. See one of the best Christmas stories ever told by one of the best television shows ever. Check out “Death Takes a Holiday from “M*A*S*H”.

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Trying to Make Sense of the John Wall For Russell Westbrook Trade

Another major trade went down in the NBA a few days ago. Well, major if we just go by the names involved. The trade? Russell Westbrook was traded from Houston to Washington for John Wall and a pick.

When I saw the news first break, I audibly gasped, and exclaimed, "wow!! what a trade!". Then I kind of sat on it for a few days. I listened to well respected basketball writers talk about it on podcasts. I read some people who I like write about the trade. And after indulging myself in all of that, this trade doesn't really move the needle for either team, and it isn't as great as I first thought. The names totally blew me away, but then I was reminded that Russ is 32 years old, and not nearly as explosive as he was three years ago when he won his MVP award. I mean, he is still an all NBA caliber player, but he has definitely taken a step back. John Wall, well he hasn't played in a real game in two years, is coming off a devastating injury, and he was clearly overlooked as the new face of the franchise after they drafted Brad Beal. Now, I have got to tell everyone, I really like both these players, I have taken their side more than not and I feel like a ton of people are way, way too hard on them as players. I am a fan of both Russ and Wall. But facts are facts.

Russ is not a good shooter. He is not a three point shooter and he takes far too many mid range shots when he has guys open at three, or in the paint. He is also not totally committed on defense. He is as explosive an athlete as I have ever seen, he is a good teammate, although some people would try and tell you he isn't, and he goes all out no matter if it is game 1, 25, 45, 75 or the playoffs. He always plays hard. But he is not the same player. Leaving OKC was tough, but necessary. They moved on, and they tried to put him in the position he wanted. But Houston was an ill fit. When going to Houston, if you are not named James Harden, you have to learn a totally different style of basketball. Houston plays what they call "Harden ball". He dribbles out the clock and then decides if he wants to shoot, or throw a lob. It works for him, but other star players do not seem to like that style. Dwight Howard left, Chris Paul was next and now Russ is gone. The one common denominator, "Harden ball". I can see why Russ wanted out, and why they traded him. I just don't know how the fit works with Beal. Brad Beal is a star. He is a shooting machine. He has gotten better every year in the league, and he is more than ready to be the face of a franchise. I don't know that Russ will let that happen. Beal needs to be able to do all the things he can do, and he needs the coaching staff and front office to give him the leeway to do so. At least in Russ' case, he has played real games for the past two years, and is still very capable of bringing it every night. But the fit seems not so good.

As for Wall in Houston, I do not like it at all. It is probably the worst pairing of stars in the league. John Wall, as I stated, is coming off a horrible injury. He hasn't played a meaningful game in two years. He may not be in the best shape right now. And now he is going to be asked to play "Harden ball". That is like caging a tiger. When healthy, Wall is one of the fastest and most explosive athletes in the open court. He can fly up and down the floor. He can get the ball to open guys, and he can hit tough shots inside and out. I don't think he will be able to do that with Harden. He will be asked to do what every other star player has been asked when playing with Harden. He will be put in a corner to spread the floor, and he will basically be neutralized when on the floor with Harden. Now, Houston can do what they did last year, when they let Russ run wild and play more with the second unit, but Russ didn't have an ACL tear. He also thrived in that role, and he accepted that role. I think Wall wants to prove that he is fully back from his injury. He will not get that chance in Houston unless they trade Harden. Houston will not trade Harden unless he decides to not show up to camp. But, if they do trade Harden, Wall doesn't have much around him to re prove himself. Houston lost a lot, and only added Christian Wood. Wood is a solid player, but he is not a star. PJ Tucker is good, but he clearly wants out. Eric Gordon also seems to want out. I really do not know what Houston's plan is, and adding John Wall only further confuses me.

This seems to be a pointless trade. For two guys that used to be super duper stars, and again, Russ is still an all NBA player, this trade is not as wild and bonkers and crazy as I first thought. When you sit down and do the research, it is really a baffling trade, and it does not make either team better. Both will be in the bottom half of their conference, and they will be fighting to get in the play in tournament. It was an odd deal. I'll still be rooting for these two guys, but this trade makes no real sense to me.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet.

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SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 3 - "Saved By the Bell: Home for Christmas Part 1 and 2"

ed note: This article was originally published on December 3rd, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 3: "Saved By the Bell: Home for Christmas Part 1 and 2" Original air date, December 7th and 14th, 1991

Opened Doors: One, Two

Going to the mall during the holiday season has its ups and downs. It is always very crowded, people are downright rude, and there are cheesy Christmas activities going on everywhere. Santa is patiently attending to thousands of scared, or overly greedy, children every single weekend. All the stores are playing the same holiday standards you were sick of decades ago. Untrained, seasonal, workers slow down the cash registers at stores people only visit in December. And if you are lucky, there will be a half-assed holiday pageant or play going on near the food court. Nine times out of ten, this production is an extremely loose interpretation of the Charles Dickens classic "A Christmas Carol".

In the early 1990's, the gang from Bayside High taught the gen xers and millennials the important lessons of the late 20th century. Lessons like staying away from caffeine pills, be nice to the hot girl in a wheelchair, and should you use dope? Nope. The lesson on two Saturdays in December was about how homeless people are real. 

Home for Christmas was a two-part episode that took place entirely away from Bayside and The Max. Due to this geographic change, there is no Mr. Belding to be seen in this extended adventure. Instead we have the kids all hanging out at a local mall for a variety of reasons. Kelly is working at a mens store to make some extra money. Jessie assisting Santa as one of his elves. Slater is wrapping presents, very poorly. Zack and Screech are not being employed, but they are still hanging around because Zack's mom is getting ready to put on a mall production of "A Christmas Carol". Lisa is volunteering at a hospital, but she also finds plenty of time to get away and join the crew. Shenanigans were about to start.

The craziness gets started when Zack and Screech discover an extremely well put together homeless man shaving in the mall bathroom. Later, on a date with a girl he just met, Zack remarks unkindly about the homeless man. The new girl promptly storms out. The whole crew becomes obsessed with the encounter with the homeless man. The girl Zack pissed off also happens to work at the same store with Kelly. Storylines start to connect after Zack sees the new girl wolf down a basket of fries. She was eating like an animal, not a classy early 90's socal teenager. We learn that the homeless man and the girl are father and daughter. This Christmas was about get real in Bayside California.

The story progresses like any other good Saved By the Bell. The crew discover a problem, hijinks ensue, a lesson gets learned, and our new friends get a better shot in life. There is the Scrooge-like character of the mens shop owner, the bratty kid who kicks Jessie, and the women rightfully upset about Slaters bad gift wrapping job. All of these people exist in large quantities in the real world, but in the Saved By the Bell world we have the Bayside crew to make it all better. The Scrooge discovers the Christmas spirit, the gang learns a lesson, and the homeless people get to live in the Morris house until next episode. A true god bless us everyone. 

Even if you do all of your holiday shopping online, and you should, it is always fun to get out to the local mall. The people are usually terrible, the kids are brats, and there may be less desirable homeless people in the bathrooms, but the Holidays are alive and well in these retail wastelands. The malls are also filled with teenagers, and some of them may be well meaning. If they lack in empathy, maybe they will at least give you a terrible rendition of "A Christmas Carol". The memories of that awfulness will keep Christmas going all year.

Ed Note: These Holiday music article are meant to be fun. Having said that, this is the most important time of the year to help the homeless in your city. Your time and money is needed to assist your local homeless charities. Contact the United Way to find a charity in your city.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He thinks if you are going to watch only one two-part Saved By the Bell that takes place in a mall, skip this one and watch the one where the crew buys U2 tickets.

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Better Late than Never on Vampire Weekend's "Father of the Bride"

I come to you all today to eat some crow and apologize to RD.

Since the start of this site and our podcast, I have made fun of the music he listens to. Well, I have made fun of the hipster alt rock that he listens to. RD has introduced me to a ton of hip hop artists I still listen to, he was the first of my brothers to tell me to listen to Talking Heads, he was the first one of us who was hip to Beck, RD has good taste, mostly in music. But as we have both gotten older he seems to listen to more alt rock than me. He has always liked it, but as I have aged I am not as big a fan. I don't listen to Weezer anymore. I find bands like Green Day and Dr Dog kind of boring. I saw St. Vincent live, and while she shreds guitar, her music is not for me. Haim is a good band, but I will not go out of my way to check out their new music. These days I am more into 70's rock, 80's synth and, mainly, most hip hop. One band that I have always challenged him on, and always called him out on, I believe I even told him they are "dad rock", is Vampire Weekend.

What was my issue with Vampire Weekend? I don't like the name, the popular songs are way too radio friendly, and I did not care for their song that was in "Step Brothers". Go back and listen to old podcasts where we talk about music. Anytime he brings them up, I give him a very hard time. But, in listening to the wonderful "You Talking Talking Heads to my Talking Head" podcast, I decided I wanted to actually, fully, give them a try. A few things led to this decision. Scott Aukermann and Adam Scott always talk glowingly of Vampire Weekend, and I have to admit, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have checked out REM, and I may have still bypassed Talking Heads. And in their second most recent episode, they had Ezra Koenig on, I believe he is the lead singer and rhythm guitar player, and I found him quite enjoyable and very pleasant. He was funny, he kept up with the jokes, but what was best about his appearance on the podcast was his insight as a professional musician. He was going very inside music, and I really enjoyed listening to him talk about his love for Talking Heads, and his knowledge for, not only the band, but how to make a hit record.

So after that episode, and a chat with RD, I decided I was going to give Vampire Weekend another chance, but with the caveat that I was only going to listen to their newest record, "Father of the Bride". I kind of made it my starting point. I decided this was going to be where I dove in. I have done the same with a lot of bands I now like. The first Talking Heads album I listened to was "Stop Making Sense". My first listen to Lizzo, "Cuz I Love You". Public Enemy was "Fear of a Black Planet". Some bands I want to hear what I deem, and have heard, is the "good stuff", then I will check out the rest of their catalog if I am interested. So, for the past two days, I have listened to "Father of the Bride" two times fully.

At first I liked it, but I wasn't totally convinced. That being said, I was doing things and my mind may have been elsewhere. But this morning I had chores to do around the house, and when I do chores, I can really focus on what I am listening to. This was the true test for me. And I liked the record. I do want to say, it starts out slow, there are a few decent songs peppered in at the top. But when that album hits the second half, the back part of the record, it is really, really good. I found myself dancing to some of the songs. I was repeating tunes that I had just heard because I wanted to hear the song again. I am going running later today, and I have already decided that I will be listening to this record for a third time. I don't know the names of the songs yet, and when I looked at some titles yesterday it almost turned me off. But when I just listen to them play and sing, I can get behind it. After I finished my housework I went downstairs, where my wife now works due to the pandemic, and stated, "I have to admit it, I like Vampire Weekend". She said, "oooh! Is this a hot take?!". I don't know if it is a true hot take, but for me, it is.

I am sorry RD, and to all of you Vampire Weekend fans out there that have had to listen to me trash them for 5 plus years now. They're a good band, I am curious enough to go back and listen to their older stuff, and when/if we ever have live shows again, I wouldn't mind seeing them at all. I am now a fan.

Check out RD’s review of “Father of the Bride”

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: The Advent Calendar of Good, and Bad, Holiday Eats: Day 2 - McDonald's Holiday Pie

ed note: This article was originally published on December 2nd, 2017

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a treat associated with the holiday season. Many will be awesome, some will be terrible. Enjoy.

Opened doors: One

Day 2: McDonald's Holiday Pies

Every season brings out a few unique treats from our local eateries. Special salads come out in the summer months, a new beer style seems to arrive each month, and September brings the legion of items flavored with pumpkin spice. The Christmas season brings on the biggest onslaught of seasonal treats. Peppermint, nutmeg, and clove usually take a starring role in December goodies. Except for a mom and pop shop called McDonald's, they like to take our holiday eats to a whole new level.

Once the Thanksgiving holiday is in the rear view mirror, McDonald's starts to offer the Holiday Pie as an alternative to the year round apple option. The Holiday Pie is said to be custard in a sugar coated crust, and it is as awesome as it sounds. The crust is not only coated in sugar, it has festive red and green sprinkles to add holiday joy. The custard, extra devine when piping hot, is way better than anything one expects to get at McDonald's. Considering that the Holiday Pie follows the Pumpkin Crème pie of the fall, McDonald's is bringing a pastry A game to the last quarter of the year.

McDonald's is the number one restaurant around the world because one can get cheap, and predictable food at anytime. Variety is not good for their business. The Holiday Pie is part of the predictable pattern, and it is a great one. It can be argued that the Holiday Pie is the greatest thing McDonald's offers during the year. it can be argued, but it is wrong. The Holiday Pie still sits behind the greatness of the Shamrock Shake. There is nothing unpredictable about that.

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. One should enjoy their Holiday Pie with a classic Christmas television program. We recommend the great GI Joe cartoon episode 'Cobra Claws are Coming to Town".

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Michigan is Not Dodging Any Opponents

Michigan had to cancel their game this Saturday due to a rise in COVID cases within their football program.

I could see this coming from a mile away. The moment they announced that Giles Jackson was out last week with an "undisclosed injury", I thought that it seemed fishy. Michigan was one of the few programs that was handling the virus okay, but time finally caught up to them. I figure it was going to go through most teams, and it has gone through a ton of teams already. Michigan was a ticking time bomb.

The reason this feels different to me is, this is my team. I had faith in them to be able to finish their season uninterrupted. That is on me because this virus could care less who you are. It attacks everyone. But the way Jim Harbaugh talked all year, and how vocal the whole program was prior to the cancellation, and then restart, I just assumed they would make it through eight or nine games unscathed. They did not. And now, along with the Maryland game being cancelled, they may not get to play the University of Ohio State next weekend. The Big Ten has built in rules that are not the same as other conferences, and those rules put that game into question now.

I would be bummed if they do not get to play the University of Ohio State, as I am bummed they aren't playing this weekend. But next week's game is the big game, the rivalry game. And I know that Michigan had little to no shot to win this year. Hell, they haven't won in nine years, and I believe they are 1-14 in the last fifteen games against the University of Ohio State So maybe it isn't really a rivalry game anymore. That's right all you university of Ohio State fans that read my blog, I just admitted you are a much, much better football team. That is not even negotiable at this point.

But, for Kirk Herbstreit, who I very much like, to come out and suggest that Michigan and Jim Harbaugh would use COVID as an excuse to duck this game, that is as wrong as Dabo Swinney suggesting FSU did the same thing two weeks ago. Now, Herbstreit immediately backtracked, issued a very well thought out apology, and I think he just said something in the heat of the moment. He went to school at the University of Ohio State. That is his alma mater. But, with him putting that out there, now no matter what happens next week, the rest of the media is going to assume that Michigan and Harbaugh are looking for an excuse to not play the university of Ohio State. That is not cool, and it is flat out wrong. Michigan has been bad, real bad this year. I have said as much on multiple blogs. They got their butts kicked by Wisconsin. They had to go to three overtimes to beat Rutgers. They let a zero win Penn State team run all over them on their way to their first victory last week. They were shut down when MSU visited Ann Arbor. They have had as rough a year as I can remember in my fandom. But to suggest Harbaugh wouldn't put his players out there if healthy is wrong. Harbaugh is a competitor. That dude lives and eats and sleeps football. He is an eccentric guy, I will be the first to admit that. But to suggest that he would duck an opponent, no matter who that opponent is, that is not in his DNA. He will go out there and play anyone anytime. And lately, he gets beat. But still, his teams are on the field if they are healthy. This year is the biggest exception year ever. The US is being ravaged by COVID right now, and games get canceled or postponed every weekend. No one said the university of Ohio State ducked Illinois last week when they had to postpone. No one said Maryland ducked Ohio State when they had to postpone due to COVID. I haven't seen PJ Fleck's name dragged through the mud, and his team has had to cancel two games, and Michigan beat them. No one has trashed any of the SEC, ACC, Big 12 or Pac 12 teams that have had to cancel or postpone games. But, because Harbaugh is such a big personality, and he shows that with pride, people in the mainstream media look for anything to use to attack him. I am sure all the college football people, save for maybe Desmond Howard, are just champing at the bit if they have to cancel next week. I am sure the writers for Bleacher Report or Go Blue Wolverine or Sports Illustrated are praying for a cancellation so they can immediately start writing Harbaugh's Michigan football coaching obituary. They are foaming at the mouth I imagine. But, whatever happens, just deal with it.

This season is so weird. These kids, as happy as I was when they announced a restart, shouldn't be playing football right now. I was saying this weeks ago too. I have felt gross watching since they started because these kids are risking their lives to play a game for free. So if Michigan plays or doesn't play next week, it doesn't matter to me. But if more people come out and say that Harbaugh is trying to avoid the university of Ohio State, that will piss me off. Yes, Michigan is a bad football team, but they are not afraid. Not at all.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Music: Day 1 - Linus and Lucy

ed note: This article was originally published on December 1st, 2015

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy

Day 1: Linus and Lucy By The Vince Guaraldi Trio 

Every year my wife and I throw a big winter holiday party. One of my duties is to create the background music. In the first few years we held the party I purchased a few sets of generic Christmas music cd sets. Many of the pieces were from the public domain, and almost all of the songs were jazz. I really dislike jazz. 

A few years back I decided to create a custom playlist from the holiday songs I loved. I wanted the music to reflect the whole season, and I wanted to use songs not widely available. The one song I salvaged from those awful jazz standards was "Linus and Lucy" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio. This was the one and only jazz song I needed for my holiday spirit. This was the song that kicked off my carefully curated holiday playlist. "Linus and Lucy" is the best way to start the season.

"Linus and Lucy" is not exactly a Christmas song. It was originally released by the Vince Guaraldi Trio on the 1964 album Jazz Impressions of a Boy Named Charlie Brown. The upbeat guitar and drums represent the excitement of the holiday season. There is pure joy and excitement throughout "Linus and Lucy". Once December 1st hits, the holiday season starts moving at a hectic pace. Crowded roads, overpopulated shopping centers, and disorganized homes filled with unwrapped gifts. "Linus and Lucy" embrace this chaos, and makes it joyful. 

The Christmas popularity for "Linus and Lucy" started when A Charlie Brown Christmas debuted in December of 1965. The upbeat tune was used as the music for the greatest dancing scene in television history. Many people will automatically think of the Charlie Brown Christmas pageant dancing when they hear "Linus and Lucy". This scene was shot in 1965 and we have voguing, the zombie, the twin girls doing the same dance, and a variety of incredible dance moves. When I hear "Linus and Lucy" I immediately break out into Linus's thrust movement, even if I am out in public (that does get awkward at times).

Since the debut of A Charlie Brown Christmas "Linus and Lucy" has become the unofficial Peanuts anthem. Most of the Peanuts cartoon specials have used the song, including the 2015 film The Peanuts Movie. The song receives the large majority of its airplay during the holiday season. The popularity of A Charlie Brown Christmas has programmed our culture to associate "Linus and Lucy" with the holidays. The song kicks off It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, yet "Linus and Lucy" makes our mind think of the December holiday extravaganza.

"Linus and Lucy" is the perfect first door to open on our Awesome Holiday Music Advent Calendar. This is the tune that will get your holiday spirit ready. It is chaotic, joyful, and demands to be danced to. If you start your day with "Linus and Lucy" your holiday spirit will never dim.

RD Kulik

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. His wife has asked him to stop the Linus out in public, the Shermie is ok though. Tell us all about your favorite holiday tune - write for SeedSing.

Ty Watches "Fargo" Season Four

"Fargo" just wrapped up its fourth season, and boy was it a good one. I am proceeding with caution, as to, I do not want to spoil anything.

"Fargo" is a loaded show. It is a show where you need to give it your full attention. You cannot be on your phone, or in your own little world. You have to be laser focused when watching. This goes for all seasons of this show. If you zone out for as little as five minutes, you will miss something. That is one of the many reasons I have enjoyed the hell out of this show from day one. Sure, I had my reservations. The movie is a classic, come at me if you disagree. So I was a bit leery of a TV show. But when I saw it was going to be a serialized crime show, and that the Cohen Brothers gave it their blessing, that was all I needed to get on board.

Just like with other seasons, the fourth season takes place in a certain time, the end of 1950 to the beginning of 1951. The only difference from previous seasons, this one takes place in the midwest, in Kansas City. The other three seasons are in the North, mostly Minnesota. But changing the scenery did nothing to dampen the show. This season was just as brutal, just as involved, just as grimy and just as good as the other three seasons. In fact, I think it may be my second favorite season, behind only the first. This season was so well done. It weaved a great crime story. It told the story so well, and so effectively and so real. This season's violence, and how undignified mob violence can be, felt the most real to this point. There were so many shots in the back, or guns going off unexpectedly or no pomp and circumstance before being shot, like in big time action movies. When it was time for a certain character to die, they died. You know what I mean. In these big crime or action movies there always seems to be a monologue or something to stall the end game. That isn't real life, and this season of "Fargo" showed that very well.

I was super impressed with the acting in this season too. Chris Rock was the boss of the new family in town, and he really delivered. That dude can act when given the proper writing and direction. Jason Schwartzmann was really good. He was wild, but smart. He had some of the funniest moments, but he was also pretty crazy. Jessie Buckley, as the crazed nurse, was a revelation. I had never heard of her until now, but I will never forget her now. Ben Whishaw was so good and so understated, and he was probably the character I rooted for the most. Emryi Crutchfield was tremendous, and her role in this is going to lead to way bigger and way more fun roles. She was so awesome. Glynn Turman, Doctor Senator, was so great. He deserves to win every award he is going to be nominated for. He was wonderful. Rodney L Jones III, as Rock's youngest son, man was he excellent. He got to really stretch his legs as the series went on, and he shined. I mean, everyone in this season did a great, great job, just like the actors in prior seasons.

I am immensely impressed with this show. Where most shows would dip, or take some time off, look at the season of "Lost" with Bai Ling, or every season of "The Office" after Steve Carrell left, "Fargo" hasn't done that. Each season has its own charm and is so well made and written and acted. This show is a force, and I hope they continue. It was also nice to have this right now as a distraction from the world. I love this show, and I really, really liked this most recent season. Just do yourself a favor and watch it. In fact, watch all of "Fargo". It is more than worth your time.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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The Lions Finally Made the Right Move

Soon I will be doing my NBA preview, with the season being mere weeks away, and on top of that, I am closer to doing my top five things of the year. So this week I want to tie up some loose ends, or talk about more recent news, or what movies or TV shows I have been watching, or what music I am listening to. Today I want to talk about the Detroit Lions doing something right within their organization.

The Lions removed both, head coach Matt Patricia and GM Bob Quinn. I am not a Lions fan. I used to be when Barry Sanders played there, but after he left, I adopted my dad's team, the Packers. I have been a Packers fan now for close to two decades. But I have always followed the Lions ever since switching my allegiance. I have family that are big fans, I like Michigan sports teams obviously, and, along with Sanders, Calvin Johnson was one of my favorite players. So the Lions have always had a place in my heart.

Things changed when they fired Jim Caldwell, unfairly I might add, I started to lose interest. Johnson was gone by then, Caldwell had them going places but was let go and I was not a fan at all of the Matt Patricia hiring. I watched his defense, when he was the coordinator for the Patriots, get shredded by a backup QB in the Super Bowl. The Patriots defense also got worse and worse that season. Then he had that bizarre press conference where he immediately started yelling at reporters, like he was a veteran head coach. Then he was accused of sexual harassment. Like, he already had all these outside issues going on. Then, his on field performance as a coach was less than good. He was quite bad in fact. He is supposed to be a defensive guy, but the Lions defense was never that good. He clearly had no clue what to do with the offense either. You'd think he would let people who know offense run that side of the ball, but I feel like he tried to do a little bit of everything, which he is ill equipped for. But his teams were never that good. I think he had something like 13 wins in his tenure as head coach. I know he had a win percentage in the .300's. Caldwell's win percentage was in the uppers.500's. Cladwell also led the Lions to the playoffs twice. Patricia, obviously had zero playoff appearances. I think the Lions figured Caldwell had taken them as far as they could, and they wanted to poach from the Bill Belichek tree. That was a mistake.

That is why I am also happy that the front office let go of Bob Quinn. He has been making all the personnel and coaching choices since Caldwell left, and he has missed way more that he has hit. Firing Caldwell was the biggest misstep. Everyone thought, and still thinks, that he is a good coach, and that he could have done more if given time in Detroit. He reached real hard for Patricia. As I said, his defense was shredded by a backup QB. That should have sent major red flags. But Quinn wanted a Patriots guy. That did not work at all. He has also made poor draft choices and poor free agent signings. He takes chances on cashed veterans, see Adrian Peterson. You'd think Jeff Okudah would be a good, young defensive player to build around, but Patricia seems to have ruined that kid. They cannot find a solid running back out of college. They have gotten no good receivers outside of Kenny Golladay, and even he has fallen off a bit. With Quinn and Patrcica it has been one bad move after another.

I know Lions fans don't want to do another reset, but, if they get the right people in the right job, or at the very least, better people, they could be back to winning 8 or 9 games in another two or three years. The Lions needed to do something, they needed to get rid of one or both of these guys, and they got rid of both. This is a good thing. Now the Lions have to make the right pick. But this is a good first step.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

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Ranking Every Episode of "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero" The Top Ten

Recently I went back to watch all 95 episodes of the original “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” cartoon series from the 1980’s. In the spirit of list articles, I went out to the internet to find a ranking from worst to best of the show. I found nothing. There were plenty of top ten lists, but no in depth list of all 95 episodes. I decided to do something about it.

Want to know how I came up with the rankings? Read my introduction.

Need to catch up? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

And now, enjoy the exciting conclusion of my rankings of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”.

#10: “Once Upon a Joe”

Original Air Date: October 1st, 1986

“I don’t know any kids’ stories.”

Shipwreck

In battle with Cobra to get the McGuffin Device, the Joes inadvertently destroy an orphanage. No orphans were destroyed, just their house.

While rebuilding the orphanage, Shipwreck gets roped into telling a few of the foundlings a story. His story is a fairytale featuring a few of the Joes, Shipshape (Shipwreck), Leatherhead (Leatherneck), Frogface (Wetsuit), and DaDuke (Duke). The story is imagined with a different looking animation style than the regular GI Joe shows. A few Cobra’s along with Scarlett and Cover Girl also make an appearance in Shipwreck’s story.

While Cobra, in the real world, is trying to get the McGuffin Device back, Leatherneck has to take over the story. He is terrible at telling stories. Shipwreck, out to check on something for Beachhead, is knocked out by Zartan, and the Cobra master of disguise makes himself up as the Joe Sailor. The kids find Zartan/Shipwreck and ask him to continue the story. Zartan/Shipwreck’s story is all about the bad guys winning. The kids are suspicious and venture out to find the real Shipwreck.

The kids succeed and real Shipwreck, in his underwear, uses the McGuffin Device. The characters from Shipwrecks story come into reality and defeat the Cobras. We learn that the McGuffin Device changes reality based on the mind of the user.

The orphanage gets rebuilt, and Shipwreck stays to give the story a happy ending.

 The Good:

An awesome Shipwreck episode. The episode is also kind of emotionally touching. The McGuffin Device, genius writing.

The Bad:

Shipwreck in his underwear around kids. Not a comfortable situation.

#9: “The Traitor”

Original Air Date: November 25th and 26th, 1985

“I may be hard up, but I’m no traitor.”

Dusty

This is an incredible two-part story about family, and heroism, centered on one of my favorite G.I. Joes ever.

The GI Joe team has a new armor treatment impervious to Cobra lasers. Cobra Commander wants this armor treatment, and he sends out the Crimson twins to find a way to get the formula.

At the same time, we learn Dusty’s mom is sick and her bills are piling up. Coincidently, Extensive Enterprises owns the debt of Dusty’s mom. They offer Dusty a trade; the armor treatment and they will forgive the debt. Dusty is against it at first, in fact he causes a redneck bar brawl when the Crimson Twins first offer him the deal, but he later agrees to give Cobra info on the Joe’s operations in exchange for money to pay down the debt.

After a few times of Cobra stopping the Joes, Duke tells Flint that Dusty is a traitor and the Joes are going to trap him. The trap plan goes south when Duke is knocked out and hospitalized and in a coma. Dusty is court-martialed, and on the way to prison when Cobra saves the fallen Joe.

To be continued.

Part two starts with Hector Ramirez of “Twenty Questions” recapping episode one. It is truly an incredible way to catch up the viewers

When the action picks up, Dusty is in a Cobra uniform working with the snakes. The former Joe fights and saves a Cobra soldier in a flooding arena of sport with piranhas. Dusty leads Cobra on a few missions to get chemicals for a mind control gas. Dusty also hands over the armor treatment to Cobra Commander.

During a mission where Dusty leads Cobra, Shipwreck, Lady Jaye, and Flint are captured, and Cobra Commander is going to have Dusty gas the prisoners with the mind control chemical. In a bit of reversal. Dusty gasses all the Cobras. Dusty is not a traitor. The Joes all escape.

In the end it is discovered that the armor treatment is not stable, Duke and Dusty came up with the traitor plan, only Duke and Dusty knew the plan, and Dusty’s mom is feeling much better thanks to the money the Joes swindled from Cobra.

 The Good:

An incredible story featuring Dusty, one of the greatest Joes. The plan is very well thought out.

The Bad:

Even with a well thought out plan, why were Dusty and Duke the only ones to know. A lot of anxiety from Joes, mainly Shipwreck, could have been saved if Duke trusted a few other high-level members of the team. Maybe tell Lady Jaye or Scarlett.

#8: “The Viper is Coming”

Original Air Date: October 24th, 1985

“Guess I won’t be needing that window cleaned.”

Barbeque

HOT TAKE ALERT: Yes, I can hear the screams of many G.I. Joe fans. “This episode should have been dead last”, you say. “The whole plot revolves around a terrible dad joke” the cries echo in my mind. Even the voice of Duke, Michael Bell, apologized to the fan base about this episode. I do not care, I absolute adore “The Viper is Coming”, and I can not doubt my own adoration.

The plot?

Barbeque is having a party at his new pad, a converted firehouse. A bunch of the Joes are dancing, rappelling, and playing basketball. The party is interrupted by a phone call. The mysterious caller calls himself the Viper, and he says he is coming. He also says five seventy-five.

The Joes are concerned. Scarlett deduces that five seventy-five must be coordinates and those coordinates bring the Joes to Antarctica. Once there, the team stumbles onto a Cobra Rec center with a gym, pool table room, cafeteria, swimming pool, and an entertainment lounge. A battle breaks out and the Joes take down the Cobra rec center.

The next day back at Barbeque’s pad, the Viper calls back. This time he says that he is coming Friday at the west corner. The Joes think Cobra is going to attack West Point. Once the team is at the United States Military Academy, Major Bludd does attack the graduating class of. The Joes, along with the cadets, turn away Major Bludd and his team.

The next day at Barbeque’s, and another call from the Viper. This time the Viper says he is coming tomorrow, top floor first. The Joes figure something is going down at the Extensive Enterprises building, since it is the tallest building in the world it has the highest top floor. Again, the Joes get into a battle with Cobra. The Crimson twins and Destro are frustrated that this “Viper” is making things rough for Cobra.

The next day at Barbeque’s pad, and the Joes have a huge team with tons of equipment surrounding the Joe fireman’s house. A small eastern European man with an accent approaches with a mop and bucket approaches. He says he is the viper, five seventy-five an hour, he will start on the west corner, top floor first. He is here to wipe the windows clean.

Barbeque can only sit and laugh.

 The Good:

A perfectly structured episode. Genuinely exciting and mysterious. Awesome to see the background world of Cobra.

The Bad:

I don’t know if the Joes always had the best teams for these missions. Barbeque in Antarctica? That doesn’t seem right.

#7: “The Rotten Egg”

Original Air Date: October 7th, 1986

“You made one mistake bucko. I may be older, but I’m better.”

Leatherneck

Leatherneck has been invited to give the commencement address at CEC. He is going to use his leave to be the guest of honor at this military academy, and he is going to stop by his beloved Paris Island to check out the batch of new marines that are graduating.

Once Leatherneck reaches CEC, he meets the Commandant. It is Buck McCann, a former high achieving marine recruit that Leatherneck threw out of the corps. It seems that McCann had great skills, but he was a lousy Marine when it came to discipline and respect. McCann is head of CEC; the Cobra Elite Corps. McCann is going to settle an old score with Leatherneck and use the CEC recruits to attack Paris Island.

The final exam McCann creates for the CEC cadets is to hunt down Leatherneck. During the hunt, Leatherneck schools the CEC kids, and even saves them Doesn’t matter, one of the cadets still knocks Leatherneck out.

The Joe marine has to escape so he can save Paris Island. In his hospital gown, Leatherneck starts to take out CEC cadets. The Joes at Paris Island see Leatherneck confront McCann, and Beachhead instructs everyone to let Leatherneck fight it out with his old enemy.

In the end Leatherneck beats McCann, and a member of the CEC rips the patch off his uniform symbolically turning away from Cobra.

 The Good:

A great story that tells us how people may turn to Cobra. Good soldiers with bad morals are what makes Cobra great. Awesome feature episode all about Leatherneck.

The Bad:

Why did Leatherneck, and nobody else on the Joe team, investigate what in the world is CEC?

#6: “Memories of Mara”

Original Air Date: November 15th, 1985

“And I’ve got this thing for mermaids.”

Shipwreck

This is the beginning of an epic story.

Out in the sea, the Joes are looking for the lost Navy submarine the USS Nerka. During the battle, Shipwreck spots a person in the water. The Joe sailor dives in and discovers this woman in the water has blue skin and is breathing through gills. Cobra wants this person back, but Shipwreck and Lady Jaye get her away.

We learn the gilled woman is named Mara. She was/is a member of Cobra and was part of an experiment to make amphibious soldiers. Unfortunately, the experiment made her only able to breath underwater. Mara is claiming ignorance on the Nerka, Lady Jaye does not believe her, Shipwreck does.

During a Cobra attack to get Mara back, Shipwreck takes her and escapes to an island. It is there that Shipwreck and Mara show their feelings for each other. Shipwreck also learns that Mara does know where the Nerka is located.

Mara tells the Joes the location, and then a rescue mission is greenlit. Mara, not in the water, saves the Nerka captain from torture, and Lady Jaye from a procedure that would give gills to one of our favorite Joes. The Nerka is saved, Shipwreck and Mara get away.

In the end, Mara kisses Shipwreck and swims out towards the horizon. Our favorite sailor just sits and waves while he smiles.

 The Good:

On its own, a great story. As part of larger story, this episode is must watch. A strong Shipwreck stories.

The Bad:

The first act is forgettable. The real action starts once Mara and Shipwreck are together.

#5: “The Most Dangerous Thing in the World”

Original Air Date: October 28th, 1986

"We got a saying in the Marines. The most dangerous thing in the world is a green officer in the dark with a book of matches.”

Leatherneck

Dr Mindbender has an incredible plan that would undermine the morale of the GI Joe team.

With General Hawk away, Dr Mindbender decides to infiltrate the Pentagon computer and promote three undeserving Joes to leadership roles. The three Joes chosen, Lifeline, Dial-tone, and Shipwreck. They are all promoted to Colonel, which is strange as Beachhead points out because Shipwreck cannot be a Colonel, he is not even in the army.

The three new Colonels are as bad as Dr. Mindbender thought they would be. The pacifist Lifeline takes weapons away, the dopey Dial-tone is changing things in the Joes computer systems, and the arrogant Shipwreck is throwing his rank around and upsetting his already in shock teammates.

Cobra has the Joes on the ropes, right until General Hawk parachutes out of a NATO jet and turns the tide. After the Joes turn away Cobra, barely, General Hawk says that these three joes were chosen to disrupt the team because Lifeline has the skill but not the will to lead, Dial-tone has the will but not the skill to lead, and Shipwreck has neither the will or the skill.

 The Good:

A very funny, and very informative, episode. The character work up to this point makes the whole story work. Prime commentary from Wetsuit and Leatherneck.

The Bad:

Ever since Dial-tone joined the team; he has been the subject of a bunch of abuse. I feel bad for the poor guy. He probably went to his men’s housing after this to eat some beans out of a can.

#4: “Nightmare Assault”

Original Air Date: October 29th, 1986

“What do you think of your cowardly son now, dad.”

Lowlight

The best episode of the second season of GI Joe.

Also, this episode premiered the day after “The Most Dangerous Thing in the World”. This part of season two was incredible. Onto the plot.

The Joes are having nightmares. The culprit of these nightmares? None other than Dr Mindbender and his newest invention. The Joes are losing sleep. They are becoming ineffective. Even great leaders like General Hawk are hesitating in battle.

The one Joe who knows about not sleeping, that would be Lowlight. The Joe sniper can function without sleep because he had a troubled childhood. His nightmares are about his father sending a scared boy out to kill rats.

The Joes decide to use Lowlight to lead the Joes through Dr Mindbender’s manufactured nightmares. Lowlight takes control of the dream, and defeats his childhood trauma, then is able to defeat Mindbender and his infernal machine.

In the end the Joes are saved, and Lowlight is having the first relaxing sleep he has had in a long time.

 The Good:

The imagery is trippy and fits the story perfectly. An awesome Mindbender invention, one that works, and a great personal story about Lowlight.

The Bad:

Lowlight is a creepy dude in this episode. Before this he was just an ass, but here he is damaged.

#3: “Worlds Without End”

Original Air Date: November 4th, and 5th, 1985

“Not another time. Another place. Another world.”

Flint

After a few close calls, Steeler is questioning if the battle between Joe and Cobra’s is even worth it. Nothing ever changes. The Joe tank commander is distraught.

Right now, the Joes and Cobra are fighting over the matter transmutter, a device with unknown applications. During a bottle on a bridge over a river, the matter transmutter goes off. The bridge disappears along with the Joe team of Flint, Lady Jaye, Footloose, Steeler, Clutch, Airtight, Grunt, and Barbeque. Also, the Cobra Moccasin pilot Copperhead seems to disappear with the Joes. We never hear from him the rest of the episode.

When the Joes wake up, they are not at the river, they are in a dry riverbed. Flint surmises that they fell asleep and many years have passed. As the Joes hike and look for answers, Steeler is bit by a strange pink bug. The Joe team also discovers that Cobra has taken over the world. They find the Joe HQ, and it is nearly empty, guarded by Cobra, and full of cobwebs. Once the Joes get into the base, they learn that most of the GI Joe team is either missing, or killed, in action.

Steeler is having a hard time with this.

The Joes split up to try and make sense of everything they have experienced. The different teams fix and use old Joe equipment. Flint, Barbeque, and Airtight go to Washington DC and learn that the Dreadnoks are cops. Those Dreadnoks cops are now chasing the Joes. Lady Jaye, Footloose, and Clutch are in old Sky Hawks, and they see Cobra has changed all the recognizable US monuments. Mt Rushmore, it now has Cobra Commander and Destro. The Lincoln Memorial, it is now the Cobra Commander Memorial. The White House, US Capitol Building, and the Washington Monument, they are all solid gold now. It is here that the Joes realize that time has not moved forward, but that they have travelled to another dimension. Also, the Baroness recognizes and wants to see Steeler.

To be continued.

In part two, the Flint, Barbeque, and Airtight team escape the Dreadnoks, but are eventually captured by Zartan. Lady Jaye, Footloose, and Clutch in the Sky Hawks get caught by an energy net from the golden Washington Monument.

Meanwhile, Grunt and Steeler are at the old Joe HQ, then suddenly Steeler in his sickness delirium stumbles upon skeletons of old dead Joes. The skeletons he sees are those of Grunt, Clutch, and himself. Steeler is understandably freaked out. A Cobra lady soldier finds Grunt and Steeler and asks them to come with her.

Next, we see the two Joes, Steeler is feeling better and Grunt is explaining to his friend that the Baroness of this reality was romantic with Steeler and she is secretly part of an anti-Cobra resistance. After a tough conversation with the Baroness about her Steeler being dead, the two Joes hatch a plan with the Baroness.

The other two Joe teams are part of a typical Cobra torture/entertainment scheme. Through some ingenuity the two teams escape to meet up with Steeler, Clutch, and the Baroness. The Baroness hatches a plan start a Cobra civil war between Destro and Cobra Commander. With her plan working, the Joes go back to the point the crossed dimensions.

Before the portal closes, Clutch, Grunt, and Steeler decide they are going to stay in this alternate reality to help the Baroness fight Cobra. Steeler has learned why being a Joe, and fighting Cobra, is so important.

We never see Clutch, Grunt, or Steeler in the rest of the cartoon serious. That is truly awesome writing.

The Good:

An incredible story that shows why the Joe fight against Cobra is so important. The journey that Steeler takes is trippy, and emotional. Knowing that Clutch, Grunt, and Steeler are leaving behind everything to fight Cobra is truly touching.

The Bad:

The animation is great, and scary, for a young pre-teen boy. Steeler is not the best character to go on this journey with.

#2: “There’s No Place Like Springfield”

Original Air Date: December 12th and 13th, 1985

“Looks like a dozen of other towns I know.”

Shipwreck

The end of an era for GI Joe. This is the last story we will see until the show expands and changes with “Arise, Serpentor, Arise”, and oh boy what a way to go out.

From the very beginning you could tell this two-parter was going to be something special. Shipwreck, Polly, and Lady Jaye are trying escort a ragged scientist off of an island. Actually, Lady Jaye is carrying the good Dr Mulaney while Shipwreck and Polly take up the rear.

The doctor was a prisoner of Cobra and he was tasked with making a chemical that can turn ordinary water into a bomb. Fearing he will not make it, Dr Mulaney implants the formula into Shipwrecks brain and whispers a code word to Lady Jaye. The code word will cause Shipwreck to reveal the formula.

On the way back to the Flagg, Shipwreck the Joes are attacked by Cobra. Shipwreck’s Sharc is sinking fast while the Flagg looks to be in trouble.

Commercial Break.

After the commercial, Shipwreck wakes up in hospital some indeterminate time later. His hair and face are grey, and he is greeted by his wife Mara and his kid Althea. The last time Shipwreck remembered seeing Mara was back in “Memories of Mara”, when she swam away because she could only breath underwater. It seems that Shipwreck has amnesia and does not remember Doc curing Mara, Shipwreck taking out Cobra Commander, the Joes finally defeating the snakes, he and Mara get married, and they have a daughter, and they move to the non-descript town of Springfield. Shipwreck does not remember any of it.

Once Shipwreck gets home, still confused, Mara recommends he take a nap. During his nap, the Joe sailor dreams of going into a car wash and having Cobra Commander, and other members of the now gone organization, asking forcefully for Mulaney’s formula. Shipwreck is confused and quite scared.

Trying to remember his new life, Shipwreck tries to get back to what is supposed to be normal. He sees that Scarlett and Duke are together, he owns a business with Deep Six and Torpedo. He insults Flint by referencing Lady Jaye. After his insult, Shipwreck learns that Lady Jaye died the night his Sharc went down.

Shipwreck is emotionally destroyed. To make matters worse, he keeps dreaming of Cobra asking for Mulaney’s formula. He finally gets into a trap at the car wash where his old Joe friends attack the old sailor. As Shipwreck hits each one, the Joe dissolves into grey goo. Shipwreck is screaming in agony.

To Be Continued.

In part two we start to learn what is actually going on. Shipwreck asks Mara to send him back to the hospital, where Shipwreck is drugged with spiked milk. The Crimson Twins use cadet Demming to interrogate Shipwreck by using a mind probing type device. Things start getting intense in the interrogation. When Doc objects to the Crimson Twins plan, they destroy him because he is a synthoid. All the Joes in Springfield are synthoids, including Polly.

The real Polly ends finds Shipwreck, destroys synthoid Polly and helps Shipwreck realize that he is a prisoner of Cobra. Polly also overheard the code word for Mulaney’s formula, and uses it to activate the formula in his sailor friend’s brain. Shipwreck creates the chemical, drops it into Springfield’s water supply, and thanks to a stupid Dreadnoks who shoots at Shipwreck, all the water in Springfield’s pipes starts to explode.

The Joes, including a very alive Lady Jaye, on the USS Flagg see the explosion and know where Cobra is keeping Shipwreck. The Joes attack, a battle ensues, yet before he goes, Shipwreck needs to save his wife and kid.

Predictable, and still sad, Shipwreck sees that Mara and Althea are synthoids and part of Cobra’s ploy. The story ends with Shipwreck with tears in his eyes, and ready to get back to the Joes.

Amazing.

The Good:

The first episode is so well done setting up the world of GI Joe after Cobra, and the reveal that all is not as it seems. The second part is action packed, sad, and has great closure on an awesome season of GI Joe.

The Bad:

This is very nitpicking, but I have to say something. Why in the world did Shipwreck not notice the dye in his hair and in his beard earlier? Does the man never shower?

#1: “Cold Slither”

Original Air Date: December 2nd, 1985

“Long live Cobra. Cold Slither forever”

The crowd at the Sports Arena

If you wanted to explain the greatness of “GI Joe: A Real American Hero” what would you highlight? The teamwork, and diversity, of the Joe team. Check. The inventive genius of Destro. Check. The awesomeness of Shipwreck. Check. The need of the Baroness to highlight her relationship to Destro. Check. The business acumen of the Crimson Twins. Check. The greed and laziness of the Dreadnoks. Check. The boldness of Cobra Commander to go incognito by wearing sunglasses over his mirrored face. Check plus.

Welcome to “Cold Slither” the greatest episode of the 1980’s GI Joe cartoon series.

The first act is all about Cobra going broke. Cobra troopers are in line for unemployment, and Extensive Enterprises are trying to recoup their losses by selling Cobra equipment to any would be dictator. In order to get back on top, Cobra Commander goes to get a high interest loan from a low level criminal who has a problem using the correct words (a great bit of double voice duty from Neil Ross, the voice of Shipwreck). With the money, Cobra Commander is going to use a new subliminal message technology developed by Destro to create a song that will enslave the populace.

The band and song “Cold Slither” are born. George Landsburg, the director from “Lights, Camera, Joes” is back to make a music video with Zartan and the Dreadnoks being the visual representation of the band.

The song is a hit. Cobra is making some money, and Extensive Enterprises is ready to be back in business with Cobra Commander. The kids in school love Cold Slither. The Joes are getting complacence with no Cobra, and “Cold Slither” is entertaining a few of the troops while they waste the days away. Shipwreck, Footloose, and Breaker, are into the music, and Duke does not understand this music the kids like today. When Cobra decides to activate the subliminal messages and demand everyone go to a concert at the Sports Arena, Shipwreck, Footloose, and Breaker decide to go AWOL. Shipwreck even pulls out his toy issue percussion pistol.

Duke is not happy with the AWOL Joes. Scarlett has a plan to bring everyone back and thwart Cobra’s comeback plan.

At the concert, the Dreadnoks are playing “Cold Slither” again and again. The sold-out crowd seems ok with it. The Dreadnoks are getting tired and leave Zartan on the stage alone. In their dressing room, the Dreadnoks have three comely lady groupies. Surprise, the groupies are Scarlett, Cover Girl, and Lady Jaye. They easily dispatch of the idiotic Zartan cronies. The girls make it all the way to the control room and get the Cobra high command to retreat. Duke thinks the subliminal machine may help the Joes with discipline around the base. Scarlett disagrees and destroys the world altering machine.

Once the concert goers come to, they all realize they are at a concert and they want music. The big show ends with the Average Joe Band. Breaker on keyboards, Shipwreck on drums, Lady Jaye, Scarlett, and Cover Girl on backing vocals, and Duke, Footloose and Rock and Roll on guitars. The band plays an awesomely stylized version of the shows theme song. End on the American flag.

Yo freaking Joe.

 The Good:

A perfect episode of GI Joe. Nearly every character from the Joes and Cobra is used in one short episode and all the characters are well thought out, the story highlights the motivations of each team, and no second was wasted. This is the episode you use to introduce someone to the greatness of “GI Joe: A Real American Hero.” Add in the PSA with Deep Sick sneaking up on the kid in the pond, and I guarantee you will have a new fan of GI Joe.

The Bad:

Nothing. Absolutely Nothing. (except for one weird animation goof on Shipwreck’s beard when they are at the Sports Arena for the concert).

There you have it, the definitive rankings of all episodes of the classic cartoon series “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”. This was tons of fun to write, and I hope brings some debate in your minds on what I ranked right, and what I ranked wrong. The most important thing I wanted to depart was knowledge about the greatest military toy commercial to ever air. And as the saying goes

Now you know.

RD

RD is the founder and Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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A Few Thoughts on the Live Action Films of Trey Parker and Matt Stone

I come to you all today with maybe a hot take. I don't really know how people feel about this because they haven't done much outside their regular show as of late. Last week I watched two movies made by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and I have a few thoughts.

First things first, I love "South Park". I watch it in and out, catch some episodes here and there and recently watched, and loved, their pandemic special. "South Park" is a once in a generation show, and it is a true classic. And the "South Park" movie is an absolute masterpiece. I think it was robbed of an Oscar, that it is one of the funniest things ever put on screen and that it is so well made and so well voice acted and so well directed. So is "Team America: World Police". But, when Parker and Stone try their hand at live action movies, it just doesn't seem to work.

The two movies I watched were "Orgazmo" and "BASEketball". Now, I like these two movies, but they just don't hold the weight that "South Park", the show and movie, or "TAWP" do. Both of the movies I watched are very much of their time. They are very 1990's. The clothes, music, jokes, it all reeks of the 90's, as it should. "Orgazmo" looks like a porno, maybe on purpose, but that movie is very, very low budget. I thought that the story was funny enough, but everything outside of that was very blah. The actors were not great. I mean, when Ron Jeremy is one of the bigger stars, that is not a great sign. The movie was also very choppy and edited very bizarre. It was also only about 90 minutes, but it felt every bit of 90 minutes. Sure I laughed here and there, and it is always funny to me to hear them do the voices from "South Park", but I think I expected, and hoped for more. That is probably on me, considering it was one of their first full length features.

Now "BASEketball" is a whole other story. I used to adore that movie. It came out when I was 16, at the beginning of the height of "South Park", and it hit me in the exact right spot. I must have seen it close to two or three dozen times. And I continued to watch it into my 20's. My friends and I would get together, watch it and quote it for days. It felt like it was our movie. I look at that movie more fondly than "American Pie". And in a rewatch, it is still a much better movie. But my wife had never seen it, and I decided I was going to show it to her last night. I also hadn't seen it in close to a decade, and I just assumed it would hold up.

Well, it did not hold up as well as I had hoped. I still liked it, I still laughed at stuff and it definitely moved faster than "Orgazmo", but it just didn't hit me like it used to. My wife didn't like it at all, but I do not think her dislike clouded my feelings after watching it last night. Again, the jokes are very of the time. This was also when Parker and Stone had a ton of hair, and that was weird. The music was that god awful return of swing/crappy alternative music. Reel Big Fish was a prominent character in this movie. I cannot stand that band. But what was most upsetting to me was how little I did laugh, and how much, at least in my mind, I thought the humor was very blah. Some of it was on purpose. They made fun of themselves and their newfound fame. But, outside of that, there weren't nearly as many moments last night that made me laugh as much back when I was 16 or 20 or 25. It just felt old. Maybe I am just old. Again, I still enjoyed my viewing of "BASEketball", but it just wasn't as funny as I thought it would still be.

Something else I want to say, Parker and Stone don't owe me a goddamn thing. They have given me "South Park", "TAWP" and they created "Book of Mormon", which is incredible. But their live action movies just don't work for me like they used to. This is not meant to be a slight to them either. I just think all of us, including Parker and Stone, have grown up. Hell, they make fun of these movies all the time, going as far as injecting jokes about them in "South Park". So, if you are looking for a vehicle helmed by Parker and Stone, I suggest stick to their cartoons or puppet movies and shows, or go listen to "Book of Mormon". That is where they truly shine.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ranking Every Episode of "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero" Gamesmasters, Synthoids, and Pyramids of Darkness

Recently I went back to watch all 95 episodes of the original “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” cartoon series from the 1980’s. In the spirit of list articles, I went out to the internet to find a ranking from worst to best of the show. I found nothing. There were plenty of top ten lists, but no in depth list of all 95 episodes. I decided to do something about it.

Want to know how I came up with the rankings? Read my introduction.

Need to catch up? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Today I present part four of my countdown of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”. Enjoy.

#27: “The Gamesmaster”

Original Air Date: October 21st, 1985

“Watch this Coco, it’s a real ho ho.”

The Gamesmaster

The first, and last time we ever meet the Gamesmaster.

A weird fellow with a strange clown capture Flint, Lady Jaye, the Baroness, and Cobra Commander. Lady Jaye is captured while she is a dressing room presumably getting undressed, and the Baroness is in a bikini. The Baroness stays in the bikini the rest of the episode. The four are transported to a strange toy land like island to play a game for their host. All the toys are actual weapons, and the goal of the game is to be the last one alive.

Outside of the Gamesmaster island, the Joes and Destro learn they need to work together to save their respective comrades. The four captives, mainly Cobra Commander, keep trying to get one over on the other team. With the forces of the Joes and Cobra working to save their friends, The Gamesmaster is defeated.

 The Good:

A weird episode in a good way. Awesome Flint and Cobra Commander character development.

The Bad:

The last time we see the Gamesmaster. We could use more of the common Joe and Cobra antagonist.

#26: “In the Presence of Mine Enemies”

Original Air Date: November 19th, 1986

“Let me guess, that’s what went wrong.”

Slipstream referring to a monster

An episode all about the adventures of the Conquest pilot Slipstream.

The Joe fighter jet pilot is recording a tape with Cobra’s missile code on it, and then he gets into a dogfight with a few Firebats and Night Ravens. With one Night Raven left, Slipstream gets shot down. The lady Cobra Night Raven pilot tries to finish Slipstream, but unfortunately, she gets stuck on an island that Dr Mindbender is trying to destroy with BATs.

Why destroys the island?

Well, there is a genetic Cobra monster living there.

Many a back and forth between Slipstream and the Cobra pilot, yet in the end they work together to escape the exploding island. The two pilots get on a Tomahawk. When Lifeline asks Slipstream if the Cobra pilot is a recruit or prisoner, the Night Raven pilot tears off her Cobra patch and throws it into the ocean.

 The Good:

Slipstream is optimistic, resourceful, and heroic. The marks of a good Joe. Awesome backstory with the Cobra Night Raven pilot.

The Bad:

Honestly a great episode. Not many other Joes and Cobras is the one mark against it.

#25: “Lights, Camera, Cobra”

Original Air Date: October 1oth, 1985

“Duke wanted all the oddballs out of his hair for a few weeks.”

Shipwreck

The show starts out with a classic Joe vs Cobra battle, yet something is not right. The look and voices are not quite what we are used to see. Lo and behold this is the set of a movie all about GI Joe.

Movie Director George Landsburg, a first appearance of a recurring character, wants real action with real equipment. A few Joes get sent to the set to act as advisers. Cover Girl is sent out to babysit a few shady Joes like Shipwreck, Recondo, and Dusty. Shipwreck gets in a bar fight where he and Cover Girl get arrested. Recondo and Dusty get caught out in the dessert because they get into a racing contest with Zartan, who the Joes think is an actor with a big mouth.

In the end the Joes trick Cobra into a real battle, and the director gets the real action he wanted.

At the premier, George Landsberg thanks the people most instrumental in the film’s success, his parents. Shipwreck, in his tux, is pissed and is going to “murderlize” the director.

 The Good:

A lighthearted episode with good character work and world building.

The Bad:

A whole lot of stupidity from Cobra and the Joes in this episode

#24: “Where the Reptiles Roam”

Original Air Date: October 18th, 1985

“I should have known she was no real Texas peach. She was too sweet. Everyone knows we grow our peaches sassy.”

Wild Bill

Cobra has a dude ranch in Texas, and the Joes need to find out why. Lady Jaye, Wild Bill, Bazooka, and Alpine go undercover as the Austins. The family in charge of the dude ranch, the Joads, seem friendly enough, especially their daughter Mary Bell who takes a shine to Wild Bill.

The Joads are actually a bunch of Cobras, and they are wreaking havoc with the undercover Joes. Crazy bulls attack Bazooka and Alpine, a burr in the saddle for a horse that Lady Jaye is riding, things are crazy for the Joes.

While all these shenanigans are going on, Cobra gets control of a local solar farm that they use to create a heat wave weapon. The weapon stops all Joe vehicles, so the team attacks the dude ranch on foot. Wild Bill finds out his new belle is actually the Baroness. The Cobras escape and the Joes stop Cobras weapon.

 The Good:

A Wild Bill focused episode. Great, and humorous, action.

The Bad:

Another episode with a bunch of Joes making stupid decisions.

#23: “Eau De Cobra”

Original Air Date: November 6th, 1985

“No Flint you have made a mistake for even you are not immune to Eau De Cobra.”

The Baroness

Cobra steals a tablet from the British Museum and send Firefly to steal a plant (jackal’s bane) from Antarctica. The Joes figure out that Cobra is creating a love potion. When they ask tabloid reader Short Fuze who is the world’s most eligible bachelor, he replies that it is shipping magnate Socrates Airtes. Makes sense.

Flint and Lady Jaye attend a party on Airtes yacht, and the Baroness happens to be there to seduce the rich man. She uses Eau De Cobra, and the rich man is smitten. When caught, the Baroness uses the perfume on Flint. He falls for the Baroness, and Destro is quite jealous.

Fights happen, the perfume bottle falls into the ocean, Joes and Cobras fight underwater, and a crab runs away with the perfume bottle. Up top, the Baroness escapes, and Socrates Airtes pledges to remain single.

 The Good:

A fun adventure with good character work concerning the relationships of Flint and Lady Jaye and Destro and the Baroness.

The Bad:

Destro’s jealousy really screwed this up for Cobra.

#22: “Hearts and Cannons”

Original Air Date: November 14th, 1985

“There she is. The chick.”

Footloose

HOT TAKE ALERT: A few words on the sexism in this episode. It was 1985 and I was ten years old when I fist saw “Hearts and Cannons. I remember it for being fun and having Dusty in it. As an adult I watched it and thought to myself, gee Dusty and Footloose sure are sexists.

The truth is, I think the mild sexism from Dusty and Footloose is meant to show how outdated their thinking is. Dr Winters is accomplished, does not take crap, and never falls in with one of the Joes. I think this kids cartoon in 1985 was more progressive in handling accomplished women than most so called prestige shows of the modern era.

On to the plot.

Cobra is causing havoc in a desert nation. Footloose, Dusty, and a mauler tank have to bail out of a Joe cargo plane into the desert. Footloose and Dusty land near a Cobra weapons testing area with Destro working on a plasma cannon with a Dr Winters. The two Joes save Dr Winters, first name Nancy, and try to get away. The two Joes also argue about who Nancy fancies the most.

After some misadventures in a mine field and across the dessert, Footloose and Dr Winters get caught and Dusty is lost in the dessert. The person who catches Footloose and Dr Winters, Jamal, is a man angry at Cobra and he has the mauler.

Dr Winters knows how to defeat the Cobra plasma cannon. Footloose, Dr. Winters and Jamal find Dusty. The two Joes, along with the mauler, defeat the plasma cannon. Cobra retreats.

Later that night, Dusty and Footloose learn that Jamal is the king of these lands. He gives the two Joes medals, and then invites Dr Winter to tour his palace. Dusty and Footloose loose Nancy to King Jamal.

 The Good:

An episode that features the laid back (stoner) attitude of Footloose, and the cocksure heroic attitude of Dusty.

The Bad:

Some people may say the sexism from the two Joes. I say not. If I had to say anyhting bad, I would say that Destro seems hell bent on killing his own troops. That is out of character for our metal faced villian.

 #21: “Cobra’s Candidate”

Original Air Date: October 11th, 1985

“With you on our side Mr. Harper, we can simply make Cobra’s goals into laws.”

Cobra Commander

A note on the episode. Some stories carry more weight because of personal reasons. My personal reasons is why I rate “Cobra’s Candidate” so high. I have worked in local politics most of my adult life. I know these types of political races. With this being said, the episode is a great Cobra plan and a great episode.  

There is a small municipal election going on with candidate Robert Harper being attacked by gangs from his political rival. The reality is that Harper is secretly with Cobra. They are making him into the martyr so he will get votes. The gang does not know this.

Lady Jaye and Scarlett try to convince the gang leader, Pilar, that the Joes are trying to help. After a few battles, and a nearly killed brother, Pilar believes the Joes. Harper is found out, and dramatically loses the election. He got two votes. One from Tomax and one from Xamot.

 The Good:

Great misdirection through the episode. This is a solid Cobra plan, trust me.

The Bad:

The gang story is featured more than it should be. It is kind of a boring.

#20: “Lasers in the Night”

Original Air Date: October 22nd, 1985

“Say, you’re my kind of girl. Where did you learn those moves?”

Quick Kick

Quick Kick gets a girlfriend.

In the beginning we meet two college girls, Amber and Sandy. Sandy is boy crazy, but Amber just wants to help people.

At a G.I. Joe sponsored martial arts show, Amber and Quick Kick meet and fall for each other. They go to the baseball game and the ballet, but Amber wants more. She wants to join G.I. Joe.

During a tour of the Joe headquarters, Amber hears a bunch of things. At the same time, Cobra has captured Lady Jaye and the Baroness is impersonating the Joe leader. Things go south for the Joes, and Duke thinks Amber may be a spy. At the same time, Amber is trying to infiltrate the Cobra island base on her own to prove she is not a spy. Quick Kick goes to capture Amber, finds out she is not the bad guy, and fights alongside Amber and the Joes to stop Cobra Commander’s nefarious plan.

What was that super evil plan? Cobra Commander is using a laser to carve his face into the moon.

 The Good:

One of the greatest, and stupidest, Cobra Commander plans ever. Awesome personal story for Quick Kick.

The Bad:

Again, this is a stupid plan by Cobra Commander. Amber is never seen again.

#19: “The Million Dollar Medic”

Original Air Date: October 2nd, 1986

“Bri, I’m a medic. My job is healing.”

Lifeline

HOT TAKE ALERT: Lifeline is one of the best characters in the second season of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”, and this episode proves it. Before I started this project, I was not looking forward to the Lifeline episodes. I remembered him as being whiney and a wimp. That is not true. Throughout the second season the development of Lifeline is well thought out and I will stand up for the Joe pacifist everyday of the week and twice on Sundays.

This episode shows why Lifeline belongs on the GI Joe team. The pacifist medic spends the whole episode trying to heal, not fight.

During a Cobra attack on a factory and yacht in the Bahamas Lifeline saves Bri Van Mark, an heiress to a fortune. Bri is smitten with Lifeline. She buys him a fancy uniform, a special swiss army knife, and a solid gold chopper.

The problem is that Cobra wants Bri’s father to sell his business to Cobra. Van Mark industries has a division that makes weapons. Cobra is going after Bri to kidnap the heiress.

After many adventures, one in which Bri kidnaps Lifeline, the Joes stop Cobra’s assault. The episode ends with Bri and Lifeline kissing on the battlefield.

 The Good:

This is the episode that shows why Lifeline is here. He may not carry a gun, but he is one smart, and compassionate, Joe. He is heroic. Also, Bri is a great character.

The Bad:

Bri does not think things through. She causes a whole lot of damage. We also never see her again.

#18: “Excalibur”

Original Air Date: November 1st, 1985

“That sword, it’s invincible. I must have it”

Destro

The Joes are in England. We know this because we see Big Ben and the white cliffs of Dover.

The Joes have some equipment that will make an anti-Cobra satellite system. A fight ensues, and the Cobra Ninja Storm Shadow crashes into a lake. This lake happens to be home to the Lady of the Lake, and she is guarding the legendary sword Excalibur. Storm Shadow takes the sword, and the local weather starts going haywire. A local man, named Beemish by the way, tells the Joes that the weather is crazy because someone has taken the sword Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake.

While Storm Shadow is ripping through the English countryside with Excalibur, Destro gets jealous of the Cobra Ninja’s sword. Footloose is doing good work for the Joes, but he gets captured. The English town gets flooded due to Destro’s cold and wandering mind. There is a big fight at the Cobra HQ featuring Storm Shadow, Spirit, and Quick Kick.

In the end, Spirit’s eagle Freedom gets a hold of Excalibur and returns it to the Lady of the Lake. The weather breaks and the Joes send Cobra running. The Joes also save a cat and help rebuild the flooded village.

 The Good:

A really cool story and one of the few episodes that heavily features Storm Shadow.

The Bad:

There is some unsettling action with Quick Kick thinking Spirit has native American “spiritual” powers.

#17: “Skeletons in the Closet”

Original Air Date: December 11th, 1985

“Where have I seen that face before?”

Lady Jaye

The episode that makes cannon that Lady Jaye and Destro are related.

The action starts out with Destro saving a lady Cobra soldier, and the Baroness is not happy with her beau flirting with another woman. Later, Destro is saved by a mysterious woman. He dines with this mystery lady and claims that the Baroness is a confused woman who he is not attached to.

Over to the Joe part of the story, Lady Jaye learns that she has inherited a family castle in Scotland.   The castle first seems haunted, then we find out a cult is hanging out in the basement. Lady Jaye goes to investigate and gets caught by the cult. The cult is going to sacrifice Lady Jaye to a beast in the well. One of the cultists stop the sacrifice, and we learn that Destro is here because it is his family’s castle.

Flint shows up to save Lady Jaye. There is fights with cultist, a fight with a giant spider, and the Joes come to rescue their comrades. The castle is destroyed. Destro learns that the mysterious woman is the Baroness, who is upset that Destro dismissed her earlier.

In the end, we see the beast under the wreckage of the castle. We will return to the beast later.

 The Good:

Great world building, plus the cliffhanger at the end is payed off. Also, Lady Jaye was a revelation to me and all young men watching this cartoon. Beautiful and deadly.

The Bad:

Why did we not explore the family connection between Lady Jaye and Destro more in the future. A great plot point we never went back to.

#16: “Twenty Questions”

Original Air Date: October 2nd, 1985

“I wonder if there is an Emmy in this for me?”

Hector Ramirez

The introduction of television personality Hector Ramirez, the host of “20 Questions”.

Hector and his crew are doing an expose on the GI Joe team. One member of Hector’s entourage seems to think GI Joe is a waste of taxpayer money and Cobra is a hoax. Shipwreck is getting annoyed with the crew and decides to show them that Cobra is real. He takes them all in a Dragonfly to a Cobra base.

Things go south when they are shot down and caught. Also, the member of the crew who is questioned G.I. Joe, that person turns out to be the Baroness.

Cobra Commander is intrigued by Hector’s show and agrees to be interviewed. With the distraction, Shipwreck plans an escape. On the way out a bunch of itching and laughing gas is set off. The hysterical Joes and “20 Questions” crew escape to find the rescuing Joe team.

Hector is so happy, and affected by laughing gas, that he professes his love of G.I. Joe and kisses Duke.

 The Good:

Hector Ramirez is one of the greatest minor reoccurring characters. The Cobra Commander self-love is awesome.

The Bad:

How in the world is Shipwreck not court martialed and in prison for this?

#15: “Cobrathon”

Original Air Date: October 6th, 1986

“A tele-thon, a Cobra-thon to be exact.”

The Crimson Twins

Cobra has a computer virus that will blow up the main computers at all the major law enforcement agencies around the world. During a mission to find out Cobra’s plan, Lifeline and Sci-Fi are captured.

Cobra decides to use the computer virus to hold a tele-thon for the world’s criminals so the snakes can raise $5 billion dollars. The Baroness is hosting in a lovely long black sequined dress. Destro tries with the bad jokes and gets so mad at the terribleness of the writing that he shoots the cue cards. Mindbender has dressed up in a tux, but he still has his signature cape. Lifeline and Sci-Fi are used as entertainment in a series of gambling like games that are life threatening.

The Joes figure out by the types of games, that the Cobrathon is in Reno Nevada. While a Joe team led by Flint save Lifeline and Sci-Fi, another Joe team led by Mainframe stops the computer virus.

By the way, the Cobrathon still does hit the $5 billion dollar goal.

 The Good:

Very tense and action-packed episode. The Cobra’s trying to entertain is priceless entertainment.

The Bad:

Cobra Commander is relegated to a non-speaking background role as a person answering phones. I wanted to see a tuxedo Commander doing a lounge singer act.

#14: “Raise the Flagg”

Original Air Date: October 20th, 1986

“The name’s BA Lakar to you.”

BA Lakar

Cobra is working in the ocean around the wreckage of the USS and Flagg and the Cobra Heli-Carrier. The two giant ships sank back in the episode “Computer Complications. Cobra wants the anti-matter pod in the wreckage.

Going into the deep ocean, Roadblock, Leatherneck, and Wetsuit reach the wreckage along with Zartan and his siblings Zarana and Zandar. On the wreckage, the two enemy teams discover growing vegetation and the sultry sounds of the Cobra hit music single “Cold Slither”. The Joe and Cobra squads are then ambushed by a group of BATs that are led by BA Lakar, the last surviving member of Cobra.

Lakar sank with the ship(s) and assumed Cobra was defeated. He is crazy. He makes his prisoners work and he tries to execute a few. Roadblock convinces Zartan that the two enemies have to work together to survive.

A battle breaks out on the ocean surface between the Joes and Cobra. The battle has damaged the sunken vessels and they are about to be destroyed. A well-placed hit on the head for BA Lakar has made the old crazy Cobra cook come to his sense. Roadblock’s team along with Zartan’s team use the antimatter pod to power the Cobra Heli-Carrier engines to raise the USS Flagg to the surface.

Once out of the water, Zartan and crew try to double cross the Joes to steal the anti-matter pod. Unfortunately, the fast rise out of the pressure filled depths of the ocean has given Zartan, Zarana, Zandar, Roadblock, Leatherneck, Wetsuit, and BA Lakar the bends. The Cobra’s painfully escape, and the Joes along with Lakar go into a decompression chamber.

General Hawk gladly accepts Lakar into the ranks of the Joes as Leatherneck and Wetsuit fight over a game of cards.

 The Good:

Love the continuity in the episode. The world of BA Lakar is well thought out.

The Bad:

Outside of Wetsuit, who is really qualified for this mission. The Joes have plenty of deep sea/ocean dudes, and Lady Jaye, and Cobra has the Baroness with diving experience. This was not the right crew for either team.

#13: “The Synthoid Conspiracy”

Original Air Date: October 7th, 1985

“Synthoids, worship me.”

Cobra Commander

A two-parter that has huge implications to a classic episode later in the run.

Zartan has developed a technology that lets Cobra create copies of people out of a gray substance. These copies are called synthoids. Cobra uses a GI Joe training mission to replace many of America’s high military command.

With the synthoids in command, GI Joe starts to get defunded by the US government. Also, Duke has been captured by Cobra and replaced by a synthoid. A few Joes rebel, which leads to Quick Kick being imprisoned, and Junkyard going AWOL with Mutt.

To be continued.

In part two, the Joes are in a state of confusion. Thankfully Destro is here to help. He is mad about Zartan creating a Destro synthoid and he wants revenge. The Joes no know about Cobra’s deception.

In an attack on the Cobra base, Scarlett gets wise to the synthoid Duke. After a big battle, synthoid Duke and real Duke fight it out. Cobra Commander accidently melts all the synthoids, including the imposters in the US Military.

The G.I. Joe team gets a triumphant reinstatement ceremony form a thankful US government.

 The Good:

This is the best Cobra plan ever. It would have been perfect if…

The Bad:

… Cobra’s own, Destro, did not ruin the plan. Why does Cobra have a problem being a well-functioning team? 

#12: “Grey Hairs and Growing Pains”

Original Air Date: October 14th, 1986

“I don’t know, there is something strange about this place Flint.”

Gung-Ho

Sparks is back.

Cobra steals a youth treatment from skin care magnate Madame Versaille. Soon, many social influencers are using the youth treatment.

The Joes ask their old teammate Sparks, who has left the military and is working in Hollywood, about who is behind the treatment and who uses is. It seems that Extensive Enterprises is the money behind the madness. Their product, it is called Ageless Care. The Joes are going to get to the bottom of this.

After being turned away by celebrities, via rampaging elephants and angry football players, the Joes make their way to the Ageless Care facility in Southern California. Lady Jaye, Mainframe, and Dial-Tone head to the Steam Room. Flint, Gung-Ho, and Sci-Fi go to the Sunroom.

Unfortunately, Cobra knows that their visitors are Joes, so they trap them. The Sunroom makes all the Joes old; the Steam Room makes them all kids. Also during an escape, a young Lady Jaye gets her pants blown off.

The elderly and kid joes try to figure out a way to reverse the aging process. One of the celebs who Cobra double crossed helps the out of age Joes. They find the Cobra Ageless Care base. A battle breaks out, Zarana spots a kid Mainframe and helps him because of her feelings back from “Computer Complications” Mainframe finds the reversing room, comes back as regular adult Mainframe, and thwarts the Cobra’s.

All the Joes get fixed, but Lady Jaye has no pants, so her adult self is showing more than she would feel comfortable showing.

 The Good:

Well told and plotted story. Funny and action packed. Sparks is back people.

The Bad:

The end is very rushed. Why are the celebs so violet to the Joes?

#11: “The Pyramid of Darkness”

Original Air Date: September 16th-20th, 1985

“It’s now or never boys. Yo Joe.”

Satin

 There were four five-part GI Joe miniseries.

This is the best.

No debate.

The greatest iteration of the GI Joe carton was made whole in this series. The Crimson twins are added. Polly is brought into the fold. Dusty shows up. Alpine and Bazooka meet Quick Kick to add three more great characters.

The plot is also the best of the four mini-series. Cobra has taken over a satellite and set control cubes to make a Pyramid of Darkness. Under this pyramid, no electronics work. Cobra is successful, initially.

While in the Cobra underground of Enterprise City, Shipwreck and Snake Eyes meet up with a friend, the singer Satin, and they escape to save the day. Plus, this series has the great song “The Cobra that Got Away” and we get Snake Eyes breakdancing. Is that not enough. We also get Snake Eyes dancing while he is decked out in a loud dress.

A ton of great action surrounding the placing of the cubes. Cobra’s plan really does work. Alpine yodels in this series, twice. The fatal fluffies are strange and awesome. Also, I need to say it again, Snake Eyes breakdances, and later wears a gaudy dress. All incredible. This was the series that truly made way for the show we love.

 The Good:

This is truly the beginning of the great run of the G.I. Joe cartoon. Plus, I need to remind you, Snake Eyes breakdances and is in a dress. It is epic.

The Bad:

We see Satin again, however it is in a throwaway role as Lowlight’s sister’s friend in “Glamour Girls”. We also later hear “The Cobra that Got Away” in Joes night out. We needed more Satin in the G.I. Joe world.

Come back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of our countdown of “G.I.Joe: A Real American Hero”.

RD

RD is the founder and Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Happy Thanksgiving

As weird as it seems, and some pictures floating on the internet may deceive you, today is Thanksgiving. It truly feels like another random Thursday, but it really is Thanksgiving. We are currently, as we should, staying at home and not hanging out with anyone not in our "bubble". The pictures I referred to, from O'Hare in Chicago, are dangerous, and that is not what people should be doing today.

Anyway, even though it feels weird, and 2020 has been rough, there are some things I am thankful for, and I come to you today, as I do every Thanksgiving, to let you know such things. I like to keep these short and sweet.

Number one, I am thankful for the new administration that will take over the US government in January. The people went out, and mailed in legal ballots, and overwhelmingly voted for Biden and Harris to be the next President and Vice President. I know the current monster in the White House is trying to do anything he can to stop it, but it is not going to work. The will of the voters have shown how much people want him and his cronies out. So I am thankful for the voters, for the people that are ready to move on and that we will have an administration that is for the people, the people that voted for them. We will have people in power that will listen to scientists and doctors and that is a comforting feeling for me. I am very thankful for the new administration coming in January.

I am thankful for the NBA bubble. When the season stopped I didn't know what to expect. The people in charge in the NBA took three months to figure it out, they had a great plan and it worked to perfection. No one got COVID, the games were good and the Lakers were the much deserving champs.

I am thankful that my kids have had the ability to go back to in person learning. They are both smart, and they both did great with virtual learning, but they needed the socialization that in person learning provides. Hopefully they get to continue this for the foreseeable future, wearing their masks of course.

I am also thankful for masks. They are life saving, you can get personalized ones, they are comfortable and they are easy to wear when in public.

I am thankful for running. When I get down in the dumps, I can still run. When I want to exercise, I run. When I want to burn off pizza or cheeseburgers, I run. I am so thankful that I have been able to run during the pandemic.

I am thankful for my friends. It has been extra hard that we cannot see each other, but we have found ways to stay in contact. Be it a phone call or a facetime, we have made it work.

Most of all, I am thankful for my family. My mom and dad have been wonderful help during the pandemic. They are in our bubble, and without them, I may have gone crazy. I can say the exact same about my mother in law. She has taught me so much about house upkeep during this time, and I am so grateful for that. But I am most thankful for my wife and kids. My wife has had to put up with my anxiety bursts and anger and frustration during the pandemic. She knows what to say, how to say it and how to make me feel better. She is the absolute best person in the world. And my kids, they keep me busy, keep my mind off the rough stuff in the world right now and are an absolute joy to be with. We may butt heads, as all parents and kids do, but at the end of the day, they are great to be with anytime, more so right now.

While 2020 has been hard, I do have these things that I am thankful for, and I could not live without. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Stay safe.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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