Today I'm going to put on my old man hat, pants, short shorts, whatever you want to call it, and complain about music festivals, mainly, Coachella. First off, I love, love, love music. I have made that abundantly clear on the site. Next to my family and sports, music is the biggest thing in my life. It has shaped my style, my thoughts and how I perceive the world today. The music is not the problem with Coachella and all other music festivals in general. The music is most definitely great at most of these festivals. The fact that people and bands I love like Kendrick Lamar, Radiohead and Run the Jewels headline these fests are great. The problems I have are the people, the attire and how commercial all of this stuff has gotten.
The bad stuff started a long time ago when some morons decided we needed a Woodstock 2. First off, the original Woodstock was a free event held at some family's farm. Woodstock was meant to bring people together, in a trying time, through music. Sure, there were some wildly dressed people and many of the memories and pictures we all know and see now have to do with the mudslide. But, for the most part, the original Woodstock is remembered for Jimi Hendrix and the like that played some of the best music of their careers. Then, Woodstock 2 came along. You know what most people remember about this crummy festival? Well, I remember the horrific lineup, the fights and the fires that were started, and people complaining how expensive everything was, including bottled water. That is where the biggest problem with festivals nowadays lies. The prices for merchandise, food and drink is utterly ridiculous, and it all started with Woodstock 2.
Of course that was a tremendous failure, and festivals were very sparse afterward. People just didn't want to deal with the headache anymore. Sure, there were still one or 2 day things. We had situations where there were 3 stages and the whole thing would start at noon and end after midnight, but nothing too big.
Then, in the early 2000's, Bonnaroo came along. I remember first hearing about this fest. This was during my jam band phase, and Bonnaroo had them all. I remember wanting to go to it so, so bad. But, I couldn't afford the tickets, and I do not like camping, so it was out of the question. I bought the compilation CD that came out, and listened to it a bunch. I figured I'd go in the future, but not at the current time.
As the years passed, I got less and less interested because it started to become this over crowded, pop obsessed, image driven festival. What started as a much better predecessor to Woodstock than Woodstock 2, was becoming just as commercialized and stupid, for lack of a better word, in my opinion. When bands like U2, who were great in the 80's, but not in the 21st century, are your main headliners, no thank you. They have tried to do other things, like add a comedy event, but I still have no interest. First off, it is in the dead of summer, and I have no interest in hanging out with a bunch of smelly, sleep deprived and drug infused music fans. I'm a nightmare when I'm sleep deprived. Put me with a million other sleep deprived people and I would go nuts. It doesn't help my case that I'm not a "partier". I have no problem with people doing drugs and drinking, as long as they aren't hurting anyone. But, I do not want to hang with people for 3 or 4 days that are just straight up binging. That is the worst. Bonnaroo is so off my radar now, when someone says that they are going, I always think to myself, I can't believe that it is still a thing.
I did try the whole festival thing about 12 years ago though. I found a festival called Wakarusa being held in Lawrence, Kansas. It had a good lineup, and I thought that I could handle the camping. I even went with my oldest brother, his wife, some of their friends and my niece, when she was a tiny baby. I thought this was the ideal situation. I was wrong. I was miserable. I was constantly harassed by hippies and stoners all weekend long. I was made fun of because I was not drinking and or doing drugs. I thought it was going to be like going to a Widespread show, where everyone is welcome, but I was wrong. I felt secluded. I could not believe how mean these supposed all loving people could be. To make matters worse, there was no time to see the bands I wanted to see because schedules always conflicted. I would catch 15 minutes of Robert Randolph, sprint over to the second stage to catch 15 minutes of Keller Williams, then run again to see North Mississippi All Stars encore. This was incredibly frustrating. Add the fact that I was getting little to no sleep, I was ready to go home by the second morning. Luckily for me, so were my brother and his wife. We left early. All the excitement I felt a month before Wakarusa was demolished within an hour of being there. I have never even thought about Wakarusa again, until I decided to write this piece today.
Here in Saint Louis we now have LouFest, and I have absolutely no desire to go to this. The prices are outrageous, there is usually only one, maybe 2 bands worth seeing, and it is so commercialized that it is disgusting. LouFest is utterly ridiculous.
They also have the Roots N Blues BBQ/Music Fest in Columbia. I have been to this twice, and both times, I was ready to leave the moment I entered the park. I immediately regretted my decision to go. This has gotten way out of hand too. They sell way too many tickets, and for a smaller college town like Columbia, they cannot handle the amount of people. I vividly remember going to see Buddy Guy, and leaving after his first song because there were too many people, I felt like I was in a sardine can, and I couldn't even see or hear Buddy Guy. Never again for Roots N Blues. There is other stuff like Lollapalooza, the Gathering, and I'm sure other things I can't think of now that I will never go to because festivals are the worst.
Finally, what sparked this whole idea today, we just had Coachella this past weekend. I will never, ever ever ever go to Coachella. I stated at the top that the lineup is second to none. But, no matter who plays, even if Bob Marley and Robert Johnson were to rise up from their grave, I will not attend. First off, it is in the desert at, or near the beginning of summer. No thank you. Second, this festival over sells every year. There are so many people there. Third, it is straight debauchery. My brother has been to Coachella once, and from what he told me, it was absolutely intense and insane. Not for me.
But, what I find most appalling about Coachella though is the fact that it has become some kind of crappy second hand fashion show. All the pictures you see are of celebrities, or faux celebrities, and what they are wearing. I could care less what Vanessa Hudgens, Cam Newton or any of the god damn Jonas Brothers are wearing at Coachella. I had to scroll through 4 or 5 different stories that talked about the "fashion" or the "famous faces in the crowd" before I got a small review of Radiohead's problems with sound, or how great of a set Kendrick Lamar did. That is a big, big problem. Coachella is the definition of image. People care more about what the bands, performers, or even worse, the crowd is wearing, or what they look like. Coachella should be about the music first, the art second, then everything else last. I do not care about anything from Coachella, except the music. How long until Coachella is just as much a laughingstock for outsiders, such as myself, as Burning Man is? Not too far away I'd guess.
Festivals have gotten a well deserved bad rap. They are wastes of time, in my opinion, and they are just a big cluster. I'd much rather just see the bands or performers when they come to, or near, my hometown. The fact that I got to see Run the Jewels in Kansas City, or that I'm seeing the Chance the Rapper here in Saint Louis, at their own headlining shows, sounds so much more appealing than fighting with thousands upon thousands of sleep deprived, smelly music fans. I LOVE live music. I LOATHE festivals. Simple as that.
Ty
Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He used to be with it, then it changed, now what is it is confusing and strange. It did not take Ty long to morph into Grandpa Simpson.
Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.
SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.
