Cloves and Fedoras: Finally Catching Up to the Great Podcast "My Dad Wrote A Porno"

Cloves and Fedoras is SeedSings reviews for little known pieces of pop culture.  Feel free to contact us with your own submissions of undiscovered gems that must be known.

There is a podcast that I just became aware of about a week ago, and I have been obsessed with it ever since. I cannot stop listening to it, and it has almost become a problem, because I have 2 small children that are like parrots. The podcast I am talking about is, "My Dad Wrote a Porno".

By the title, I think you all can glean why it has become a problem for me trying to listen to this in the car. The podcast is filthy, filled with sex and very bad language, but it is also extremely funny and awesome. So, I have to find odd times to listen. For example, yesterday I was mowing my grass while my 1 year old napped and my 5 year old had his "quiet time". This was the perfect opportunity to knock off 3 or 4 episodes. When I go for a run at night, another great time. Sometimes, after the kids go to bed and it's just my wife and I, she will go read a book, and I will listen to another episode. It's all about finding time when my kids are not present, or sleeping, before I can hear a new episode of "My Dad Wrote a Porno".

Now, this podcast is new to me, only a week or so old, but it has been around for awhile. According to the podcast page, "MDWAP" has been around since October of 2015. I listen to so many other podcasts, so sometimes I am late, or in this case, very late, to something that is suggested to me by a friend or family member. This one was suggested by a friend, and I'm so glad he brought it to my attention.

"MDWAP" is so funny, and the funniest part of it is the host and his 2 friends who comment on each chapter. The host, Jamie Morton, says in the first episode that his father gave this to him for him to keep. Instead of just hiding the book, and the fact that his father wrote an erotic story, he invited 2 of his friends to start a podcast where he would read one chapter a week. His friends are the stars of the show. Both James Cooper and BBC Radio 1's Alice Levine are absolutely hilarious. Their reactions to sentence structure, dialogue and grammar are uproarious. I especially enjoy Alice's reaction to most things in this book. She sounds so put off by all this, but she keeps saying that she cannot wait to hear more. I am the same way. And James Cooper, he is literally just laughing the whole time, which is really the only thing you can do in a situation like this. I love that Morton did not hold on to this book as just some keepsake. It is wonderful that he wanted to share this book with 2 of his friends and the whole podcast listening world.

The book is entitled "Belinda Blinks". There is a sub title, but I still can't get over how ridiculous the main title is. I'm currently on chapter 8, "the Tombola", but up until now, "Belinda Blinks" has been as disgusting and hilarious as I could have imagined. When she has the job interview in chapter one, it was some of the most soft core stuff I could imagine. It was also a riot. As the book goes along, it gets more and more pornographic, and Cooper and Levine's responses are pitch perfect for each horrific moment. When Morton's dad goes into great detail about a sexual experience, the "oh my god's!" and "what the hell's" are a delight. There is one particular chapter where Morton's dad talks about Belinda going to a tennis party, meeting an American man with a very small "member", and complaining about her encounter with him. It is so poorly written, yet I was laughing so hard I had to stop what I was doing for fear that I would drop whatever heavy thing I was currently moving. Morton's father also has some weird thing with thongs, both for men and women. He also explains stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with his erotic tale in great detail. It is so odd.

The best way that I describe this podcast to friends and family is, imagine if your father wrote some erotic fiction and gave it to you. What would you do with it? I would love to think that I would do the same thing as Morton. I would want the world to hear this crazy story. And that is what makes me keep coming back to "MDWAP". I also love how every time Morton's father writes about a sexual encounter, both Cooper and Levine keep telling him, "this is your father!". I crack up every time.

"My Dad Wrote a Porno" is not a new podcast, but if you are a fan of comedy podcast and you haven't listened to it yet, I highly recommend it. It is so funny, and each episode is only about 30 minutes long. I only discovered it a week ago, and I am already on chapter 8. As far as I know they are still releasing new episodes and I cannot wait to catch up. This is a very, very funny and uncomfortable podcast, but in all the right ways. Give it a listen.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is currently working on his own porno called "Moistness At the Crack of Dawn". One day his son will read it to horrify the people of 2030.

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What Does it Mean to Know that Marge and Homer Simpson are Only 34?

After college, this is the next place we all are heading towards.

I was watching "The Simpsons" the other day because FX rules and they play it 5 days a week for at least 4 hours everyday. The episode I happened to watch was a very, very early one. If I think about it, it was probably in season 2 or 3. So that means this particular episode premiered in either 1990 or 1991. That would have put me at either 8 or 9 years old.

Anyways, this episode had Marge having a breakdown. The kids were yelling at her and Homer was showing her no love at all. Basically everyone in her family was treating her like dirt. Marge became so fed up, she called into Dr. Marvin Monroe's radio show. That sentence should tell you how old the episode is. Where my hardcore fans at? She called in to complain about her family and the way they were hurting her.

Throughout all the complaints, one stood out to me and I cannot stop thinking about it. She told Dr. Monroe that she was "34, stuck in a loveless marriage with 3 kids that gave her nothing but trouble". Now, my marriage is wonderful. We argue about stupid stuff here and there, but what married couple doesn't. And my kids, while they can be very, very annoying at times, and sometimes I yearn for the days when it was just me and wife and dog, I love them more than anything in the world. I also wanted to know what love is, thanks Foreigner, but I really knew what love was when I met my wife. I now know what love means even more since we've had our 2 kids. I am well versed in the knowing of love.

The thing that stuck out most to me was Marge saying her age. She is/was 34. Back in 90 or 91, 34 seemed so old. But, watching this episode the other day, that really stayed with me. I am now 34. In fact, I'll be 35 in December of this year. So that means, since no one on "The Simpsons" ever ages, I will be older than both Homer and Marge. That is so bizarre to me. It was so wild that I am in a similar situation as Homer and Marge. I am 34, I have only 2 kids and only a dog, but still pretty similar. So the fact that they never age, I will be older than both of them by next year.

I've had similar stuff like this in life happen lately. A few years back I was watching college football and I had this same sensation. I was in my late 20's, and I was complaining about some Michigan freshman not doing what he was supposed to do on a play. Then my dad let me know that he was only 18, and think about all the stupid mistakes I made when I was 18. Since then, I've eased up a bit on Michigan football. I still watch and flinch and squirm and my mood can be altered by the outcome, but since these kids are half my age, I do not yell and scream as much as I used to. Hell, I'm 12 years older than the seniors on the team now. Same thing with college basketball. I do not get nearly as mad because I am so much older than all college basketball players.

It is starting to become the same thing in pro sports. I was livid with KD leaving for Golden State last year. But then I sat down, realized he is only 25, and he can do whatever he wants. He is 9 years my junior. Hell, I'm older than LeBron James, and he takes a ton of scrutiny, a lot from me, but he mostly handles it like an adult. I'm older than a lot of NFL players too. Sure, Tom Brady and Drew Brees are a few years older than me, but Cam Newton, Aaron Rodgers, Khalil Mack and Jadeveon Clowney are all much younger than me. In fact, when pro athletes get to be my age, they are considered in the "twilight" of their careers. They are either retired, or close to retirement.

Even outside of sports, say in Hollywood, I'm considered old. I would be more of some young genius' muse if I were in movies or TV. Or, I'd be the much older brother that is either a screw up, or drops some excellent, poignant advice to my younger sibling.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is, I've always known that I was getting older, but Marge saying that she was 34 on a very, very old "Simpsons" episode really hit me hard in the chest. I feel young, but I know that I'm not that young anymore. Hell, I played basketball 2 days ago and I'm still recovering. I wake up with aches and pains from old sports injuries everyday now. I have to stretch all the time in case I may pull a muscle. I need to take naps at random times because my kids have worn me out. We all get old, but Marge proclaiming her age finally made me realize that I am not a teenager, or even in my 20's anymore. That is kind of unsettling, but also helps me realize that I am doing things the best I can, and I think I am doing them pretty well. I love my wife, she loves me. My kids are healthy and happy and they love me too. My dog is well behaved and he tolerates me.

Being 34 is not so bad, but it does mean that I am closer to 40 than I am to 20. Like it or not, I am becoming an old man. Hopefully I have, at least, another good 34 plus years ahead of me.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. This post made the head editor angry. RD is in his young forties and feels like he is actually in his twenties. Except when he does yard work, or exercises, or thinks of bills, then RD feels like he is in his eighties.

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Human Garbage Hugh Freeze has Finally Been Thrown Out

Artist interpretation of Hugh Freeze's soul

Last week Hugh Freeze resigned as the head football coach at Ole Miss. This was coming for awhile, and everyone that knows and watches college football sensed it. He had been on the hot seat for a myriad of reasons, mainly his illegal recruiting tactics that were starting to leak out.

I became immediately suspicious of Hugh Freeze and the Ole Miss program a few years back when they pulled in a monster recruiting class. Ole Miss hadn't been good since Eli Manning was there, and they weren't even that good when he was the QB. So I was questioning why guys like the Nkemdiche brothers and Laquon Treadwell committed to going there. I was also suspicious of them taking on the much maligned Chad Kelly from East Mississippi Community College. Speaking of EMCC, everyone should be watching "Last chance U" on Netflix. I wrote about the first season and I am currently watching the second season and I will have a review as soon as I finish. It's a great show. Anyway, after taking on a guy with Kelly's baggage, getting the Nkemdiche brothers, Laquon Treadwell and guys like Laremy Tunsil, I was not surprised, I was suspicious. There is no way that guys like that would want to go play in the SEC for a team like Ole Miss. They were blue chip recruits. If they wanted to stay in the SEC, why not go to Alabama, LSU or Auburn. Those are the cream of the crop. And before someone says, they get every recruit, stop. They get every recruit because they are the best teams, and the best players want to play for the best teams. Even looking outside of the SEC, why not teams like Oregon, Ohio State, Michigan, Clemson, FSU, any number of big time teams that would have these kids playing important games late into the season and getting into big time bowl games? It didn't all add up to me as to why they would choose Ole Miss. Hell, at the time, Mississippi State was a much better team, so if these kids wanted to stay in Mississippi, why not go there? Like I keep saying, it all confounded me.

I also loathed all the religious and Jesus talk coming from Hugh Freeze after hauling in this class. It was all "god's will", or "the good lord gave us all this talent". That is downright nonsense. God didn't will any of these kids to go play football at Ole Miss. The "good lord" didn't hand you all this talent. I hate, and yes I want to use the word hate here, when coaches and players give all praise to the lord. That needs to stop. It is annoying and gobbledygook. Just stop with all the praise lord stuff. I'm so god damn sick of it. If there even is a god, I have some serious doubts, I guarantee one of the last things on his or her mind is where some 18 year old goes to play football. That is absurd.

After having one good year, reaching number 9 in the major polls, Ole Miss crashed back down to Earth and finished the next season with a losing record. Robert Nkemdiche, Laquon Treadwell and Laremy Tunsil all declared for the draft. Before the draft, we got the Nkemdiche falling out of the second story of a hotel room debacle. He ended being okay, but apparently he was intoxicated, either drugs or alcohol, and that caused him to fall. Hugh Freeze said nothing about this. Then, we got the Laremy Tunsil gas mask bong photo a day or two before the draft. Again, Freeze was silent. This caused Tunsil to slip a bit, and when he was questioned about other stuff, he claimed that he was given money to go play at Ole Miss by some assistant coaches. This was the moment Hugh Freeze decided to speak up. Instead of squashing the rumors of giving out money, he attacked Tunsil's character. He called the kid everything. He was a liar, and he stated that he and his assistants only played by the rules. What a cowardly thing to do to a player that was on his way out. He blamed the kid. It was not his fault.

All of the sudden though, Ole Miss started to get hit with sanctions from the NCAA. The NCAA is corrupt, but when they come at you, you better be ready to get hammered. In January of last year, the NCAA sanctioned Ole Miss for illegal recruiting tactics and for giving out impermissible benefits, i.e., giving out cars and cash to current players. So, the "good, god fearing" Hugh Freeze and his staff was hit with the exact sanctions that Tunsil had accused them of doing.

It only got worse for Freeze and Ole Miss from there. About 2 and a half weeks ago, with rumors swirling everywhere, Houston Nutt, former Ole Miss coach, sued the University and Hugh Freeze for defamation of character. Nutt said that Freeze and his staff went to radio and publications and TV and said that Nutt, not Freeze, was the one doing all the illegal stuff. They tried to pass the blame on to Nutt. Houston Nutt is not saint, but for Freeze and his staff to do this, that is childish bull shit. How dare they. Who do they think they are? That's how much of a liar and a cheater Hugh Freeze is, he has me defending Houston Nutt. I never would have thought that was possible. Nutt eventually won the suit

That was not the end of the Hugh Freeze crap show. Apparently, Freeze had been calling escort services, possibly for himself. He claimed it was a "misdial". But, during further investigation, the University found a "pattern of similar calls" on "multiple occasions". So the god fearing, deeply religious man that claims to have never done anything wrong was supposedly calling escorts, most likely for himself. What a crock. Hugh Freeze is an absolute phony.

Hugh Freeze, of course, resigned after all this came out last week. This was a long time coming, and I would bet a lot of money that Ole Miss is going to get hit harder and harder with sanctions now. I wonder who Freeze will pray to during this dark period in his life. Hugh Freeze is a creep, and I'm glad he is out of a job.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He one time "misdialed" a local Arby's. His reputation is just now recovering from people thinking that he likes Arby's. 

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Ty Watches "Bar Rescue": Jack's Place Edition

We had another new episode of "Bar Rescue" this past Sunday. Taffer is sticking to his hometown this half of the season and he went and saved another bar in Las Vegas. Last week he was in a small town in Nevada, this week, he was in the biggest town in Nevada. The bar he went to this time was called Jack's Place.

Jack's Place had the typical "Bar Rescue" story. The bar was thriving at first under the first owner, he retired and sold it to Corine, a bartender, and now it was going down the tank. Corine did not have the authority, or the want, to be the big time boss. She let people walk all over her so much so to the point that the staff called her mom. Mind you that only one of her biological children worked there. She also had three managers, but only one bartender. That meant that one guy had to basically pour all the drinks and take all the orders. You'd think that he would take this responsibility seriously, but he was a total jackass. He kept trying to flip the bottles around and do all these tricks that he was in no way capable of pulling off. I feel like he saw the movie "Cocktail" once and decided he could do everything in that movie. He couldn't do one simple thing, and that was making the drinks. He either put too much liquor, or not enough, sometimes forgetting to put liquor in a drink. He broke multiple glasses trying to do these tricks. Then, when pressed by one of the managers, he would just argue and complain that he was getting three different directions and he didn't know which one to follow. He was useless.

Corine, the new owner, also had no idea how to appeal to a new client base. Everyone that came to the bar was old regulars from the past, and she said that she had been to approximately 50 funerals of former customers since taking over as the owner. That is crazy. When you own a bar I imagine that I would want a wide variety of customers, not just your regulars. She just didn't know how to pull in a younger crew.

When Taffer arrived with his mixology expert Phil Wills, they saw everything I just told you. The customers were old, the drinks were messed up, the bartender was a total moron and the managers and the owner had no control. When he sent in his two spies, they both said all the same stuff too. One of them told his buddy that there was no alcohol in his drink. It was a mess. When Corine's son finally confronted the bartender that was screwing around, the bartender went off on everyone. He was yelling at anyone and everyone within ear shot. This was when Taffer went off and stormed into the bar. Instead of going to Corine, he went straight to the bartender and started to go off on him. It was your typical, yet spectacular Taffer rant. He kept telling the guy to "be a man and own up to your mistakes", and the guy kept coming at Taffer. The tension was only broken by a commercial break.After the break, the bartender relented and apologized to everyone he was just yelling at previously. This was expected.

With the apology out of the way, they went into stress test. Stress test was a nightmare. Everything went bad. They had only one well and one ice machine. The bar was circular and everyone was running into one another. The drinks were wrong, of course. The drinks were late, of course. It was a mess. Taffer and Wills shut it down and got to their training. First off, Wills went to see how clean the bar was, and you guessed it, it was disgusting. Bottles of liquor had fruit flies. The keg was leaking water. The ice was leaking Freon. It was totally unsafe and gross. After the crew cleaned the entire place, they got to work, but not before the male bartender threw a fake tantrum and quit. He came back, of course, and they got back to training. Wills made the drink menu much simpler, and this episode was clearly sponsored by Jack Daniels. Everything was a mix with Jack Daniels, and 2 of the bartenders, one of which has 11 kids, got to go to their distillery and check everything out. This happens from time to time on "Bar Rescue". Some big liquor company comes along and the show caters everything towards how great this particular alcohol/liquor is.

After the trip and the return, they got their big reveal, but not before Taffer and Corine had a heart to heart about her ownership style. Taffer said all his usual nonsense, and of course Corine promised to change. They changed the name to Regan's Bar. I think that was Corine's last name, and got set for re launch. The new inside of the bar looked fine, but not spectacular. During re launch everything seemed to be going over smoothly. The lone exception was one of the managers, Caryn, seemed unhappy with all the changes and she retreated to the back. After this little problem, Taffer left and everyone seemed happy. They did the 6 week check up and everything was going well and Caryn had been fired.

The past 2 episodes have been your average, run of the mill, episodes, and I love it. When "Bar Rescue" has trashy people acting trashy and Taffer stooping to their level, that is when it is at their best. Next week is a back to the bar episode, and I don't watch those, so come back in a couple of weeks for my review of their new episode, whenever that may be.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He used to flip his kids baby bottles behind his back like Tom Cruise in "Cocktail". No one was impressed.

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The Derrick Rose "Bidding War" is the Dumbest Story of the NBA Offseason

With the Kyrie Irving news last Friday, I wasn't able to comment on the supposed "bidding war" for Derrick Rose between the Cavs and Lakers. Well that changes today. I need to talk about this, and I want to talk about this.

The fact that people have said that there is a "bidding war" for Derrick Rose literally shocked me. Why on Earth would anyone want to fight over Derrick Rose? I'm not going to sugar coat it today. Derrick Rose is washed up. He is not the "great" player he once was. In fact, I never thought he was great, I thought he was a whirling diversh and a ton of fun to watch, but I never considered him great. I thought he was good, just not great. His MVP trophy was just so they didn't have to give it to LeBron once again, even though both he and Dwight Howard, yes that same Dwight Howard, had a much better season the year he won it. The Bulls just played way over their heads, and the voters figured they'd better give it to someone that was on a one seed. LeBron should have won it that year.

Also, while in Chicago, yes he was fine, but stories already started to come out about his attitude, his penchant for hogging the ball, his willingness to ice teammates out on the floor and he was seemingly becoming un coachable. He was like Russell Westbrook, except Russell Westbrook is a better player than Derrick Rose, by far. He also had much better teammates than Westbrook had last year. And in that MVP year, Rose and the Bulls got their asses kicked by LeBron, as we all expected.

Then the injuries started. The very next season Rose tore his ACL and missed the majority of the year. The next season he rushed himself back too soon and tore his other ACL. He was becoming incredibly injury prone due to his style of play. That is the thing with Rose. He was very good at getting to the rim, but he could never ever shoot and he is a horrific defender. Great rim attacker, but everything else, very mediocre.

While the injuries piled up in Chicago, everyone who watches basketball could see that he was either unhappy or uninterested in being in Chicago, or even playing basketball for that matter. He looked truly miserable. He was probably tired of being the face of the city, he is a Chicago kid. He does seem like the kind of player that is better suited at being a second or third option. I do not think he was ever comfortable being "the man" on an NBA team. He may have never said it, but that has always been the vibe I have gotten from Derrick Rose.

Then we had last year's offseason. Rose finally got moved. The Bulls decided to finally pull the plug, much to both theirs and Rose's delight. The Bulls traded him and his one year left on his monster contract to the New York Knicks. This was supposed to be one of Phil Jackson's best moves early on as a GM. When he was traded to the Knicks and then Joakim Noah signed there, I vividly remember many people, RD included, saying this Knicks team could go to the playoffs. Hell, Derrick Rose said in his introductory press conference that the Knicks and the Warriors were both "super teams". I didn't buy any of that. This team on paper looked truly awful to me. While the Knicks should have started the youth movement and build around Porzingis, they decided to sign 2 oft injured vets and let go of a true center in Robin Lopez.

Well, we all saw how the Knicks, and Derrick Rose, played last year. Sure, he averaged 18 ppg and about 4 or 5 rebounds a game. But, he was non existent on defense, and he seemed to be more of a ball hog than Carmelo Anthony. His fit was a total disaster. When he was on the court, he either bricked jumpers, iced out Porzingis and Carmelo and it seemed like if Carmelo did a good thing on offense, Rose felt he had to do something better. He rarely ever did something better.

Let us not forget that he also just disappeared in the middle of the year. He was just gone without any explanation. Everyone seems to have just forgotten this. That he just up and left the team without any notice. He was gone, and when he came back, he acted like he did nothing wrong. He acted like the media made up some stories about him. That whole situation was completely bizarre, and just reaffirmed that he is not a franchise player.

Rose also told reporters after his "leave of absence", that he expected a max contract this offseason. That shit was laughable. How god damn full of himself. He is nowhere near a max player. And what team is going to give an oft injured player that comes and goes as they please a max deal. Not even the Kings or 76ers would do some dumb shit like that.

And then we got the report last week of the "bidding war".First off, the most money the Cavs can offer him is 2 million a year, or the veteran minimum. They could clear a bit more space if they move Irving, but it is still not that much more. The Lakers can give him a lot more money, but they are clearly going youthful, and they are clearly handing the keys to the team to Lonzo Ball. Does Derrick Rose really want to go and be a rookie's backup? How in the hell would he handle something like that? Not very well I would imagine. Also, if he signs with Cleveland, and they keep Kyrie, he is going to most assuredly be the backup point guard there. How does he handle that? Will he be happy playing the Deron Williams role from this past season? He is a better player than Williams, but not that much better. Then there is the Kyrie Irving trade scenario. If the Cavs do find someone to trade for Irving, depending on the return, how will LeBron feel having Derrick Rose as his starting point guard as opposed to Irving? He may say he likes it better, but Rose is more of a ball hog than Irving will ever be. Rose will also want to take many more big shots than Irving did, and that LeBron should. I just don't like his fit with either team.

Rose still thinks he is a great player, I never thought he was, so he should go to a team that will give him the keys. The problem with Rose being "the guy", he would have to go to a team that has no future at all. Rose is at a turning point in his career. He needs to decide if he wants money or a chance at titles. If I had to guess, he will take the money because he thinks he is still great. He is not. If I were a GM of any team, I'd stay very, very far away from Derrick Rose. I'd rather have a player like Kay Felder or Vander Blue than Derrick Rose. That is how far Rose has fallen off.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet. 

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Where Should Kyrie Irving Play Next Season?

I was going to write about the supposed "bidding war" going on between the Cavs and Lakers for Derrick Rose today, but some bigger NBA news just showed up on my phone. Apparently Kyrie Irving is "displeased with his role on the Cavs", and "doesn't like playing with LeBron James".

This news may shock a lot of people, but for some odd reasons, I find it not shocking at all. Kyrie Irving is a ball dominant guard that wants to score 25-27 points per game. He cannot do that type of stuff when he is on the same team with the best player in the world. He also apparently said that he wants to "go to a team where he can be the focal point". I get this as well.

Irving is the type of player that should, and might be able to be, the alpha dog. I do not think that team would be a contender, but I think Irving would be a ton of fun to watch on a sub .500 team as the alpha. He had a chance, albeit very early in his career, to be the man in Cleveland. His first couple of years there, when LeBron was using his talents in South Beach, he was the new guy that the Cavs were going to build around. We all saw how that turned out. While he put up great stats offensively, the Cavs were atrocious. Sure, the roster was dreadful around him, but he was the leader, and if he wants to be a LeBron type leader, those Cavs teams would have at least been a lower seeded playoff team. They were lucky to win 30 games back then.

Then LeBron came back home, got Kevin Love to come there, and for all intents and purposes, LeBron was the GM and coach, as expected. Kyrie Irving should have known what he was getting into. Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh molded and changed their games to fit around LeBron, so why now does Kyrie come out and complain and say he wants to be traded? He has been to 3 straight Finals. They won one on his shot and his tremendous efforts in games 4,5, 6 and 7 2 years ago. He was decent in the Finals last year. What is the problem?

Well, as I said earlier, he is sick of being second fiddle to LeBron. He is clearly the second guy, but that is not what Kyrie wants to be. He wants to be "the guy". Now, I just read on my phone that one of his preferred teams to go to is the Spurs. That would not work out for him like he wants it to. One, he does not seem like a Spurs type player. Those guys leave their egos at the door and play system basketball. Kyrie is not a system guy and he has no interest in playing defense. This would be almost exactly like LaMarcus Aldridge's time in San Antonio so far. Kyrie is more of a make something out of nothing player. The Spurs like to whip the ball around for the best possible shot. Also, the Spurs already have an alpha. Kawhi Leonard is clearly the new face of the Spurs. He is the perfect Spur and the perfect guy to be the face of that team for the next decade plus. If Kyrie were to go to San Antonio, it would be nearly the same as playing for the Cavs. Popppovich will not change his offense to tailor to Kyrie. I'm sure he is working on more stuff for Kawhi right now as I write this. He is moving forward with Kawhi as the focal point.

So about 20 minutes after hearing this story, and immediately eschewing the Spurs idea, I started to think of some teams he could go to that would benefit both him and the Cavs. Lets get this straight right off the bat, the Cavs will not give up Kyrie for a bag of beans, a la the Paul George to OKC trade. I first thought about some contenders. He wants out of Cleveland, Golden State is set, I already mentioned all the problems with the Spurs, the Rockets have Harden and Paul, the Celtics have Isaish Thomas and a great group of young players, the Raptors have Lowry and DeRozan and the Timberwolves have Butler and Jeff Teague. All those teams are off the table in my opinion.

I dug a little deeper. I thought about Miami. I think he would hate it there. They have a point guard in Goran Dragic, and they just gave Dion Waiters big time money. He has already played with Waiters and that was a train wreck. Memphis came to mind, but then I remembered they have an awesome point guard in Mike Conley Jr, and he just got a max contract. Philly popped into my mind, but I feel like he would be a disaster with that young roster, and I want them to build around Ben Simmons and Markelle Fultz.

We are now left with basically the bottom of the barrel. He can go to Chicago and be the guy, but that team is not going anywhere anytime soon. Brooklyn needs a point guard, but that team also needs a 2 guard, a couple of good forwards and a modern big man. They also need a bench. Phoenix was my next thought, but they are another one of the teams going to the youth movement. They don't need Kyrie. New Orleans was another team, but they would have to give up Boogie, and they just gave Jrue Holiday a ton of money.

When I sat down, right before writing this, the one team that I thought this would maybe work out best for is the Knicks. But, they would have to give up Porzingis for this to fully work. The Cavs would take that, and then Kyrie would definitely be the man in one of the biggest markets. The Knicks would still be atrocious, but Kyrie would get his wish, and ESPN and TNT would put them on all the time. It is almost too perfect because of how terrible it would be.

Kyrie should stay in Cleveland if he values titles. But, he has one already, and maybe he just wants to get his now. Maybe he doesn't care so much about being one of the greatest point guards ever. Maybe he just wants to get paid. Whatever in may be, the Cavs should grant him his wish as long as they get a proper return. LeBron may say that he is "blindsided" by this, but imagine how happy he would be if he got to play with Porzingis, or his lifetime buddy Carmelo. I'm pretty sure he'd get over it rather quick.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet. 

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It is Time for the St. Louis Cardinals to Move on from the Mike Matheny Era

Time for the Cards to dust off the plate.

I've been sitting on today's topic for while, and I'm ready to put it out there. I think the time is right for the Cardinals to let Mike Matheny go.

Now don't get me wrong, he has been a very good to great coach for Saint Louis. He's been to the World Series, the playoffs and always seems to have this team in contention late into the season. But, the Cardinals have been, at least for them, pretty bad this year. They are a game below .500 right now, and if they lose to the Mets this afternoon, they will be even worse.

The current St. Louis baseball squad, while it doesn't have the star power of past Cardinals teams, does not have anyone that truly strikes fear into the heart of their opponents. They have names, Adam Wainwright, Yadier Molina and Dexter Fowler to name a few, but those guys are either washed up, Wainwright, old, Molina and have not lived up to the potential, Fowler. In my mind though, a lot of that has to do with coaching. I feel like the coaches, and mostly Matheny, have just thought that the big time players would continue to be big time players. But, father time always wins. I love Molina and Wainwright, but they are not the players they once were. That is a fact. Dexter Fowler is my new favorite baseball player, but he has had a very inconsistent year, and he's been hurt a lot. But that lineup, other than those guys, is littered with names like Matt Carpenter, Stephen Piscotty, Kolten Wong, hell, that is all I can think of. That is part front office, part manager putting together this team. Yes the front office hasn't done much, but I don't think Matheny has really pushed to add big time, good players. Josh Donaldson's name has popped up in trade rumors for the Cardinals, but I feel like it is just talk. I would bet a lot of money that Matheny still believes he can win with Matt Carpenter playing third base. They can't. I'd do much rather have Donaldson at third. He is a better hitter and fielder. He is just an all around better baseball player.

It doesn't stop with the current squad. The Cardinals have had chances to add David Price, keep Jason Heyward, trade for Chris Sale, keep Carlos Beltran, get good young up and coming players for older vets, but John Mozeliak, the GM, and Matheny have said no. They didn't want to pay for or give up young prospects for proven veterans. That is the "Cardinal way", but it is getting pretty tedious to keep believing in the "Cardinal way". So many wasted chances to add top players because they don't want to pay them is very, very frustrating.

I know this is a front office thing, but I would be willing to say that Matheny doesn't know how to deal with stars. He's never had anyone bigger to manage than Molina, to the best of my knowledge, and Molina is a very subdued super star. I don't think he thinks he can deal with a big ego, even if that ego would help them win. That is a big problem for me. Other than that, he is too forgiving to his pitching staff. It seems like Wainwright, Michael Wacha and Lance Lynn have been the core of the Cardinals rotation. Why in the hell did it take until this season to put Carlos Martinez in the starting rotation? Personally, I think that he is the best pitcher the Cardinals have. Sure he can be inconsistent, but he throws heat and has a very live arm. With young pitchers you should expect things like that. What I didn't expect was the amount of time in took for Matheny to finally put Martinez in the rotation. I'm sick of watching Wainwright get older and worse. Wacha had his moment, then fell apart against the Red Sox in the World Series and when I'm shocked to see Lance Lynn get a win, that is a big problem.

Beyond the pitching though, this team cannot hit and cannot score runs. They seem to get beat 3-2 or 2-1 or 3-0 all the time. I will look at the stats, I do not watch the game, and see that the Cardinals got 0 runs on 3 or 4 hits. That is atrocious. They either need to find a new hitting coach, or a whole new staff. Same thing for the pitching coaches staff.

Look, I am actually all in favor of trashing the whole coaching staff except for Jose Oquendo. He is the only coach I rely on, and he deserves his shot to be the head coach of the Cardinals. He has paid his dues, the current players love him and I think he would be a lot more willing and able to take chances with the lineups and on acquiring big time stars. If the front office were to fire Matheny and hire Oquendo, there would be no big hub bub. As I said, the players already love him, and I'd let him hire his own staff.

Mike Matheny has done all he could do with his time with the Cardinals. He is toast. Give Jose Oquendo the chance he rightfully deserves. Do the right thing Saint Louis.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He dreams of the days when Oquendo is the head man, and Willie McGee is the hitting coach. Could we somehow get Vince Coleman to come in and be the third base coach?

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Ty Watches "Bar Rescue": Paddy's Pub Edition

Jon Taffer and crew were back this past Sunday with an all new episode of "Bar Rescue". In this one they traveled to a bar, I kid you not, in Nevada called Paddy's Pub. I even asked my wife if I heard the name right. I was so hoping to find 4 owners hanging around a wild old man. Unfortunately it was not the same Paddy's Pub from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". Plus it was to in Philadelphia

So what was the problem with Paddy's? This bar was in Nevada. Strike one. This bar was also owned by an older woman named Pat, and Paddy was a nickname. Strike two. She also was super old, but not very weird. Swing and a miss, strike three. She was more like Pauly Shore's mom, Mitsy. Mitsy is famous for being a hardass owner of the Comedy Store in Los Angeles. Paddy, while not as menacing, was still in total control, even though she couldn't move around without a walker, and she was as hard on the employees, and her son, the new manager, as Mitsy was on up and coming comedians. Her son also had some kind of disease where he was going to be completely blind in a few short years, and this disease also made him suffer with a stutter. He was a mess. Needless to say, the staff did not respect him, so Paddy hung out there all the time. While the employees may have taken Paddy's verbal abuse, they weren't all that scared of her. As I said, she was very elderly, so the staff, especially the younger ones, did whatever they pleased. Paddy's son, even with his illness, was a total pushover. He let these employees walk all over him, and they fully took advantage of his poor eye sight, sneaking drinks whenever possible.

At one point in the beginning of the episode, one of the bartenders, Joy I believe her name was, comes stumbling in from outside, goes to the back to lay down and then proceeds to vomit. Mind you, she was on the clock the whole time. She was getting paid to get so wasted that she could barely walk, or even really function. She was a mess. The other staff, mainly Tawna, seemed to be legitimately good at their jobs, but they just stopped caring. This bar also had an enormous kitchen that wasn't used for cooking, but rather for storage.

Our hero Jon Taffer and his team, as they watched from the van on the TV screen in the van, said all their usual stuff. The staff was poor, this bar needed the kitchen, the son cannot run things properly, Paddy shouldn't be there, all the cliché stuff they do on "Bar Rescue". Taffer walked in after the whole Joy situation, and immediately went to Paddy. She gave him a big hug and he went into how moved he was by her letter. That's right, Paddy hand wrote a letter as opposed to using social media or email to get "Bar Rescue" to come. I LOVED this. Some things will never die. Anyway, Taffer called the son over and read the letter to him, and man did his mom beat the hell out of him with words. She called him anything and everything that Taffer would have called him had Paddy not been there. The son, of course, disagreed.

Now that the letter reading was over, they went directly into stress test the next day because the son wanted to show his mom that he wasn't a complete waste as a bar manager. They also reopened the kitchen to attract more customers to the bar. While the new drinks they wanted to try at stress test seemed pretty easy, the food, my five year old could have made. They were literally doing hot ham and cheese and hot turkey sandwiches. It was almost too easy.

Don't worry, the stress test was a disaster, as usual. The bar only had one speed well, so while the staff was doing their best, they kept bumping into each other. This caused drinks to be rushed which led to messed up or spilled drinks. The kitchen staff, while they did fine making sandwiches, kept getting confused by tickets, or lack thereof. The son was a nightmare. He had no tickets. He needed people to point out customers, he was all over the place.

The next day they regrouped and tried to figure everything out, but not before Paddy gave each of them a brutal tongue lashing. She pointed out each and everyone's faults that she saw at the stress test. It was rough. So while they all got retrained, learned the new menu and trained the new staff, Taffer and crew went to fix up the bar.

After a day or two everyone gathered for the big reopening, "Bar Rescue's" signature move. Taffer renamed the bar Pat's, in honor of the mom. The inside of the bar looked ridiculous. It looked like the waiting room of a not so fancy hotel. There were tacky trees and odd, almost old folks home style wall paper everywhere. They did give them an extra speed well and a new POS system, as is Taffer's way. Of course they crushed the re launch. Drinks and food were fast and correct. Even the son was finding people with ease and getting food and drinks to the proper people. They did so well, Paddy couldn't say one bad thing. She gave Taffer a big hug and while he was on his way out, he gave a creepy, longingly stare at Pat's Bar before getting in his car.

The 6 week checkup informed us that food and drink sales have gone up, but it also said that Joy was let go. I assumed she must have showed up drunk again because Paddy said she was going to be gone if she did it one more time. This was a very middle of the plate episode. It followed all the typical beats and rhythms of most "Bar Rescue" episodes. Come back next week for my review of the next new episode.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He spent the whole episode looking for loose rats around Paddy's Pub. Not one rat was seen, someone was doing their Charlie work.

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LeBron and Carmelo are Once Again the Talk of the NBA Offseason, and it is Not Good

Today I want to talk about 2 NBA players. I know that Summer League is over, free agency is over and all the biggest trades have already happened, but for some reason, these 2 guys have kept my interest in the NBA offseason. I'm always interested in all things basketball, but this is usually a dead period. Well, Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James will not let it stay too quiet.

Lets first talk about LeBron. This seems to be the time of year, especially since he went back to the Cavs, when he perks up and complains about "the lack of moves" by the front office. I feel like this is just a way to keep his name at, or near, the top of the list when talking about NBA players. But, this constant whining has got to stop. First off, he constructed this team. I saw a bunch of people saying on Twitter and NBA message boards yesterday that he constructed this team, and it is true. What assets do they have that they can give up for a big time star? What young players do they have that they can throw into crucial games at crucial times so they get experience? No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants Kevin Love. So, I ask again, why is LeBron whining once again? He is currently the best player in the world, and if he stays in the East, he will go to the Finals again, and lose to the Warriors again. There is no way the Cavs could have signed any big time free agent. They gave a boat load of money to Love per James' request after winning the title last year. They are going to have to pay Kyrie if they want to continue to stay relevant. They inexplicably gave Kyle Korver a decent sized contract this offseason. They paid JR Smith a bundle after last year. The season before, they maxed out Tristan Thompson. They have also signed a few foreign players. So, what do they have that the Bulls would have wanted for Butler, or how much could they have given Gordon Hayward or how about KD or Steph who were both free agents? What could they have given Indiana for Paul George? There are too many questions with no real answers. I have read and heard that Love was in all these deals,  but no team wants him. He is now damaged goods. So for James to come out and complain about the front office, stop it. He constructed this team. He chose to have them trade for Korver. He wanted his buddy Thompson to get the max. He told the front office to pay Love after last year. He had them go out and sign Deron Williams, James Jones and Mike Dunleavy Jr. These are his buddies, but they are old and well past their prime. Also, no one wants those players for stars. They want assets or another star. And I'm sorry, but Love for Butler or George would have been almost as bad as what the Pacers got for George from OKC.

One final thought on James also, why does he care or feel the need to comment on this? Dan Gilbert gave him an out when he, out of nowhere, fired David Griffin. This was a terrible move by Gilbert, one of many, and now James can leave and not be the scapegoat. He won them a title, and Gilbert made a horrific front office choice. James can go anywhere next year and his jersey won't get burned and he won't get booed when he comes back to play in Cleveland. All his whining just needs to stop.

Lets look at Carmelo now. By all accounts, he wants to go to Houston. I hope this happens so I can snicker at how ridiculous that offense would look if he played there. I have already been on record saying that I think the Chris Paul-James Harden pairing is going to be a nightmare. Throw Carmelo into that mix, man it would be a disaster.  First off, both Carmelo and Mike D'Antoni have a mutual hatred of each other. D'Antoni went on a radio show 2 years ago and said as much. Do you really think that he wants to coach him again? Also, do you think that Carmelo really wants to play for D'Antoni? Carmelo likes to slow things down and go one on one. D'Antoni likes to run, run, run. This would also make their defense worse. Harden doesn't play any defense, neither does Carmelo. Ariza used to be a good defender, but he is not what he once was on that end of the floor. Eric Gordon and Ryan Anderson don't even try on defense. That is not why they are there. Chris Paul is the only good defender, and he got outplayed by George Hill in the playoffs last year, and he is older. They lost their best defender when they traded away Patrick Beverly for Paul. Carmelo to the Rockets is a terrible idea.

Carmelo to the Cavs, almost as bad. It would be a similar situation in Cleveland like Houston. There are already 2 ball dominant guys, Kyrie and LeBron, and while they play more half court offense, does Carmelo really do anything more, or different, than Kevin Love does for them? Love is just as bad on defense, but he is a much better rebounder and throws excellent outlet passes. Carmelo doesn't do either of those. Also, Cleveland is already dreadful on defense, so throwing Anthony in the mix only makes them worse. Portland has been the other team mentioned, and while I like that fit best, it doesn't really matter, they will be lucky to be the 7th or 8th seed in the West next year.

Look, I do like both these guys. I know I'm being hard on them, but LeBron is clearly the best player in the world, and I used to love watching Carmelo play when he was in Denver. But, all this recent news has gotten under my skin. LeBron continues to whine, even though he is forever playing basketball into late June, and Carmelo is toast as an elite player. I'm thankful for the summer NBA news, but I'm just bummed about the particular noise that is being made.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet. 

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Let Me Explain Why Roger Federer is the Best Athlete of All Time

Time for some real talk about tennis

THESIS:  Roger Federer is the greatest athlete of ALL TIME in ANY SPORT anywhere.  I dare anyone to prove me wrong.

Point #1:  Roger Federer is the greatest tennis player of all time.  He is inarguably the greatest male tennis player of all time.  Now, people will argue for Serena Williams, and I will grant that they have a point (ed note: check out our podcast where I make that point).  However, my thoughts on Serena’s lack of quality competition are well documented, and I will not bore everyone by repeating them here.  During Fed’s record shattering run of 19 major titles, he has been challenged by two of the very best players to ever play the game (Nadal & Djokovic each have over 10 majors).  With due respect to Chris Evert, the only other candidates for best tennis player ever are Steffi Graf, and Martina Navratilova.  Graf retired at 29, and longevity has to count for something.  Martina had a long career, in both singles and doubles, but most people think that singles is where it counts, and Fed now has Martina beat by 1. 

Point #2:  Unlike bowling/poker/billiards/Nintendo, tennis is a real sport.  You can be an overweight smoker and still win at those other activities in the modern age.  Tennis requires peak physical conditioning to perform at the highest levels.

Point #3:  I’m ruling out athletes in sports like running and swimming.  In those sports, you are playing against the clock, not against your opponents.  If your opponent cannot DIRECTLY affect your performance, I’m not counting you in the greatest athlete race.

Point #4:  What about Tiger Woods?  He doesn’t have the longevity.  Also, see point #2: overweight smokers have won major golf titles. 

Point #5:  What about cycling?  See Ty’s piece on “Tour de Pharmacy.”  There has never been a whiff of cheating or PED’s with Federer.  I’ll retract this point if it’s ever proven with him.

Point #6:  Tennis is an individual sport with no coaching permitted during matches.  You only win if you, individually, are better than the guy across the net.  In other sports, you have teammates to help you carry the load.  As great as an individual basketball player is, there are 4 other guys on the court to help him, and he can talk to his coach.  A great quarterback needs a good offensive line and some other skill players.  Great pitchers aren’t getting you anywhere unless the other guys can field cleanly and score runs.  Federer, by contrast, has to switch from offense to defense and back, often during the same point.  He has to work through the strategy, keep himself mentally sharp and engaged, notice his opponent’s strategy, and adjust on the fly, all without talking to another person.  And he might have to do that for 4 hours or longer, seven matches in a row in order to win a major title.

Point #7:  Federer has been in the very top echelons of his sport for FIFTEEN YEARS.  He has played a full schedule for 14 of those years, and the tennis season is ridiculously long, going from early January to mid-November with a grueling travel schedule.  The fact that he has remained healthy for nearly that entire time is remarkable.  He took his first major injury layoff in 2016, after racking up 17 majors.

Point #8:  Show me an athlete in a non-judged sport that shows the supreme physical grace of Federer.  At his best, he never even looks like he’s running.  To quote our friends at Deadspin, “…Federer’s desperation looks a little better than the other people’s very best.”

Point #9:  What about Secretariat?  Uh, let’s restrict this conversation to bipeds.  Also, see point #3 above.

Point #10:  The guy is committed to getting better.  After 19 majors, so many weeks at number 1, gallons of ink spilled, thousands of inane questions from the sports press, and 4 kids, he STILL seems to be enjoying himself.  And after missing the last half of 2016, he came back with a new and improved backhand.

Bonus Point:  For all Fed’s arrogance, he’s never a huge ass to his opponents.  He doesn’t whine.  He doesn’t discredit.  He doesn’t stink of violence against women or animal cruelty or drunk driving or being a bigot.  In short, in addition to being a the greatest athlete ever, he is not a garbage person.

Game, set, match:  Federer.

Tina S

Tina is a sometime contributor to SeedSing and occasional guest on the X Millennial Man Podcast. She is unaware of the grueling toll it takes on a person's body to drink that much Mountain Dew and eat that many Doritos while competing in online video game competitions.

We made a twitter for Tina, go follow her @TinaSeedsing.

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Ty Watches "Snowfall"

About 2 weeks ago the show "Snowfall" premiered on FX. I have been very much looking forward to this show. I waited before I had a few episodes recorded to start watching the show, and I finally watched the pilot and the second episode last night. So how is it?

"Snowfall" has some promise. I like the look, the story, the setting and the actors. The show takes place in Los Angeles in 1983. This is when the rise of crack and cocaine started to flood the streets. I'm always interested in stories like these. I like to see fictionalized versions of historical happenings. The main character, Franklin(Damson Idris), is a smart, soft spoken kid that just happens to be a drug dealer. He has tried to live the straight life, going away to college and holding down a job, but it just wasn't for him. He wanted to make a lot of funny, and make it fast.

Damon Idris, who is a total unknown to me, is pretty good in the role. He pulls off the softness, but also has the rough edges needed to survive in the drug game. Two scenes in the pilot really show this. One is when he runs into a kingpin in a club, she puts a gun to his throat, and instead of freaking out, he calmly tells her his plan. She buys it, and he is in the clear. The other scene involves another kingpin, there are going to be a lot of them it seems on the show, and he makes him put on a bullet proof vest to see if he is for real. Franklin does it, the guy shoots away from him, and gives him a kilo of cocaine to move in 24 hours, just to see if he can trust him. This particular scene had me on pins and needles. I am very excited to see where "Snowfall" takes this character in this first season.

We met some of Franklin's friends, and a possible love interest, but they didn't really flesh these characters out yet. At least not in the first 2 episodes. One of the kids, I barely know anything about. The other, he was in juvenile, and has a bad attitude, but that was it. The love interest is in high school, and I'm sure she and Franklin will get together, have some ups and down due to his job, but be okay in the long run. We also meet Franklin's mom, but all we really found out about her is, she has a stressful job, likes to smoke weed and seems to kind of know what her son is up to. I'm sure we will learn much more about her as the story progresses. There is some good stuff with Franklin's aunt and uncle, his uncle is his partner in cutting and selling coke. His aunt beats the shit out of a lady that claims to have been with his uncle. His uncle likes to get into fights and lift weights, but also knows when a deal can go bad. When Franklin comes to him after getting the kilo from the crazy kingpin, his uncle wants no part of it, but his aunt is on board.

Outside of Franklin's family, we meet a wrestler in the first episode named Gustavo(Sergio Peris-Mencheta). Franklin is a big fan of his, but he is not a good wrestler, and he wants to get involved in the family business, robbery. He wants this life because he is in love with a woman that happens to be involved as well, she is not related, so he wants to prove to her that he can be a tough guy. He is a quiet, stoic dude that seems to be in over his head. There is also Teddy(Carter Hudson), who seems to have a regular office job, but he is a "cleaner" outside of his regular everyday job. I like Teddy, even though he is kind of a cliché character in a show like this. He is too smart for his own good, had a breakdown but now wants back in the game type guy. He could be very important, and possibly even a cool character, if the show goes by it right.

There was a lot of drugs, sex, shooting and even death in the first 2 episodes. Like I said at the top, the show has potential, it just has to find out what it wants to be. There are a lot of different characters to follow, but it is not like "The Wire". No show will ever be like "the Wire". "The Wire" is classic, so "Snowfall" should stop trying to cop that style. "Snowfall" can be good, but it will never reach what "The Wire" was. There is a little bit of "Breaking Bad" in there, what with Franklin being a good kid that just happens to do a bad thing. Again though, don't try to copy off the classics. John Singleton's name is attached, so there is a good amount of "Boyz in the Hood" type vibe to it, but I say a third time, don't try to copy the greatest pop culture stuff of all time. "Snowfall" needs to find its own voice.

I still have a good amount of faith though. I was never bored during the first 2 episodes, and I'm excited for the third this Wednesday. I hope this show gets better and sticks around. I like everyone involved and it has the feel of something that can succeed. It just has to stop trying to be a show that it is not. Time will tell with "Snowfall". But for now, if you like crime/drug type stories, I say give "Snowfall" a chance.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He also doesn't want shows to copy "Family Double Dare", "Saved By the Bell: The College Years", and "Teen Mom 2". Leave the classics alone.

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Being a Star of the NBA Summer League Does Not Make One a Real NBA Star

I have been watching a ton of the NBA summer league because, as I have stated many times, I'm a hoops junky. I love seeing all the rookies, the high picks, the mid to late first rounders, the second rounders, the undrafted guys and the foreign prospects. I love watching all the guys that are still hanging on to their NBA dreams, hoping for a contract or a chance in the D League. I love that the assistants coach. Remember last year, Becky Hammond won one of the Summer League titles as the Spurs coach. But what it all really boils down to, I'm obsessed with basketball, and any chance to watch it, I'll grab it like a loose ball.

All this being said, the basketball is not great. There are many hangers on that just shoot and shoot and shoot again. The defense is abysmal. The shooting is wildly inconsistent. Some, most of the guys there in fact, need to stop chasing the dream. Most of the rookies, I'm looking at you "one and done" guys, are still teenagers, and they're still growing. This makes them sloppy.

Summer League is a mess, but that doesn't stop the commentators at ESPN telling us how stellar all the youngsters are. Every time Phoenix is on, Josh Jackson is the second coming of KG. When the Celtics play, Jayson Tatum is the best Celtic since Paul Pierce. I was watching the Bucks the other day and they were saying that DJ Wilson can take some minutes from Giannis. Dennis Smith Jr is the greatest point guard the Mavericks have had since Steve Nash. DeAaron Fox is going to turn around the Kings. Lonzo Ball is the second coming of Magic. Hell, even before Fultz got hurt, he was the key to the 76ers run to the playoffs this season. All this stuff sounds great, and it's wonderful to look ahead, but these commentators need to pump the brakes. After all, it's Summer League.

At the top of this I laid out the types of players that fill up Summer League rosters. You didn't notice names like KD, Klay, Draymond, Steph, LeBron, Kawhi, Giannis, Jimmy Butler, Karl Anthony Towns, Russ, Paul George, and so on and so forth. All the stars do not play in Summer League because they don't need to. So all the accolades being handed out, wait until these rookies have to face real NBA players. Wait to call Josh Jackson the next KG unless he explodes on a player like Klay or Kawhi. I like Jackson, but that's not happening for awhile. Before christening Tatum as the next Pierce, I want to see him hit clutch three after clutch three in a critical game against the Cavs and LeBron. Before claiming DJ Wilson will steal minutes from Giannis, remember that people are saying Giannis is a future MVP. Dennis Smith Jr could be great, but the Mavs are going to be mediocre next year, and he will have bumps along the way. He's also going to have a tough time in the West against the likes of Chris Paul and Russ. DeAaron Fox is lightening quick, but he needs to learn to shoot and the Kings stink. He will not, at least not right away, be the savior for that franchise. Lonzo Ball has great court vision, but his jumper is disgusting, he looks disinterested at times, especially on defense, and wait to give him top line status until he faces the same guys Dennis Smith Jr has to face. His dad is also an arrogant asshole. And Fultz, who knows. He has a sprained ankle, and while that's a 2 to 3 week healing process, the 76ers might make him sit all year. He may not be the greatest point guard to put on a Philly uniform since Allen Iverson. The commentators need to tamp it all way, way down.

I remember last year that D'Angelo Russell and Larry Nance were Summer League stars. How'd that work out for them? Ben Simmons didn't play in Summer League. Jaylen Brown was a non factor but dominated Summer League. People need to realize the level of basketball they are watching and wait to assess these guys until they play real meaningful NBA minutes and games. This is the Summer League, not real, important NBA games. Take the expectations WAY down.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet. 

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Jamie Foxx Gives the Performance of the Year in the Awesome "Baby Driver"

Get your rear to the theater and see Foxx and "Baby Driver" on the big screen

I'm coming to you all straight from Chicago, and I want to talk about my new favorite, "Baby Driver", once again. Instead of giving a spoiler free review or talking about a certain song, I want to single out who I thought had the best performance in the movie. First off, this movie is packed with stars. Names like Kevin Spacey, Jon Hamm, Lily Adams, Ansel Elgort fill out some of the big names. But, one of the biggest names also did the best job, in my opinion, and that person is Jamie Foxx as Bats.

Jamie Foxx was tremendous in this movie. I know I kind of singled him out last week, but I want to dig a little deeper today. I know that Foxx is an Oscar winner(Ryan Gosling should have won that year), but for the most part, he's a comedic actor. He is not funny, at least not on purpose, in "Baby Driver". He's a psychopath in fact. When he first showed up on screen, in a cocked red leather hat and a big red sweater with a King playing card on it, he was all business. He was a criminal that wanted to get his money by any means necessary. He did not like Baby right off the bat, and he made this known immediately. He belittled and mean mugged him the moment he met him. He didn't trust Baby either. When Doc is laying out a plan and Baby has his headphones in the whole time, Bats is eyeing him. Even when Baby tells him the plan back verbatim, Bats is still skeptical. It only got crazier from there, and Foxx displayed that craziness to perfection. When Bats' team job goes awry, Foxx pulls off the psychotic side so convincingly, I forgot he was acting. I no longer saw Jamie Foxx, I saw Bats. That is how I know he nailed it. When I only refer to you by your character's name to people I tell the movie about, that means, to me, that you nailed it.

Later on, and this isn't a spoiler, when Bats, Buddy and Darling get together to do a job, Bats is still super weary of Baby. Possibly more so than he was the first time. Foxx played this paranoia great. I bought his skepticism, his worry, his want for truth, his need for everyone to be all in on the job. Then the cop scene happens. Again, no spoilers, but Bats shows his true colors, and it's horrifying. Mind you, Foxx plays this completely serious. There are no laughs to be had, only fear. I squirmed in my seat, and I think that's what Foxx and Edgar Wright wanted. The following scene, in the diner, was just as creepy. His breakdown of Buddy was eerily correct. His face to face with Debora, real scary. His shake down and argument with Darling was incredible. And his nose to nose with Baby, again, I was squirming. When they eventually do their big job, Bats gets what's coming to him, but it is shocking. I will reiterate, no spoilers, go see the movie to see what happens. You'll thank me later.

What Foxx did was undeniably great. Even people who aren't as high on this movie as I am have singled out Foxx's performance. He was incredible. I'd much rather he get the Oscar for this performance than for playing Ray Charles, and he was great as Ray Charles. He was so much better as Bats though.

There's a million reasons to see "Baby Driver", but Foxx's performance would be reason number one I would tell people to see it. See it on the big screen as well, to get Bats' full effect. This is the third time I've talked about "Baby Driver" in the past 6 days, and I guarantee I will talk about it a bunch more. This movie is great and Foxx's performance is noteworthy and classic.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He has been a huge Jamie Foxx fan since his big-time breakout role as Coach Armstrong on the classic television program "Hangin' with Mr. Cooper".

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SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

The Bill Simmons Ego is Bringing Down "The Bill Simmons Podcast"

Next time Simmons will tell us all how he could improve sex, the US Constitution, and happiness.

I was listening to the most recent "Bill Simmons Podcast", and I've got to say, Bill Simmons is quite full of himself. I still very much enjoy his writing and his podcast, but man oh man does he think that his decisions make the sun set.

On the latest episode to get on my nerves, Simmons had 2 of his buddies, Jim Miller and Bryan Curtis, and they were talking about all things ESPN. They were talking about all the layoffs and new hires, basically all the news that has come out over the past couple of months involving ESPN.

Simmons exit from ESPN has been very well documented. He said something that needed to be said about that monster Roger Goodell, and since ESPN is in bed with the NFL, they suspended him, then let him go a few weeks after he came back. He then went into hiding for awhile before reappearing with his own company, The Ringer. I'm an enormous fan of The Ringer. I read pretty much everything they write about basketball. I listen to all their basketball podcasts. I enjoy their football stuff. Mainly though, I'm all in for The Ringer because it has Bill Simmons name on the front of it.

Simmons highly anticipated television show was a massive disappointment. This is widely known. The show is best known for a drunken rant about the Patriots coming from Ben Affleck. That's some reality show shit there. But, when pressed about the demise of his show, he never once took the blame. It was all on HBO. They put him on at the wrong time he said. They thrust him into a bad situation he said. He wanted to do so many things different he said. Basically, it was everyone else's fault. He said all of this, and even more on his own podcast, which HBO owns. I wrote awhile back that he needed to take the blame. He was a poor host. He couldn't conduct a proper interview. The only time the show was any good was when Michael Rappaport was on. He was too much of a  fan boy. He wasn't good for television. The show disappeared, and no one has missed it. But he still blames other people all the time.

Then we have the latest podcast. As I said, the three guys were talking about ESPN, and Bill Simmons kept chiming in with all that he tried to do to make that company money. He was patting himself on the back for creating "30 for 30", as he should. But, the self congratulations did not stop there. He claimed that he was the only person trying to get ESPN to get better advertising for podcasts. He complained that they only wanted Subway as a sponsor, and that "I could have gotten them so much more". What an ass. I don't deny that he may have been able to get extra sponsors, but ESPN doesn't need extra sponsors. One of my biggest gripes with his podcast is all the ad reads. They totally take me out of the flow. In fact, I don't like any ad reads on podcasts. It drives me nuts. That doesn't mean I don't want people to donate to SeedSing though. Please, if you can, donate to us so I can continue to do what I love.

Simmons also went on to say things about the people that got fired and how he could have helped keep them around. Does he think he was some kind of savior at ESPN? I guarantee on ESPN's list of important people, Bill Simmons was probably in the 40's or 50's. He complained that no one paid attention to Grantland. That's because Grantland was for hipsters, and who in the hell cares what those writers were saying back then. I know that most of his staff is filled with former Grantland writers, but they are 1,000 times better now than they were then. He griped that the higher ups wanted full control of "30 for 30", but he only wanted to do 2 seasons of it. Why would you want to end something so soon that was so successful? I would bet a ton of money that he wanted to close down shop so he could gloat to people in 25 years that he was the "genius" that created "30 for 30". I've got some news for you Bill Simmons, some other asshole would have come up with a similar idea, and it would have succeeded.

I hate ESPN with a passion, but Simmons comments on this most recent podcast really annoyed me. He is super talented, and many big time people have said as much. So why does he feel the need to constantly stroke his ego, I will never know. I'm not going to stop listening and reading his stuff, as I said, I am a big fan. But he needs to pump the brakes on giving himself all the accolades that he thinks he deserves. It is getting too be a bit too much.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He may hate hearing ad reads, but the head editor convinced Ty that reading ads is the best way to podcast. Right Ty.

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SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Ty Watches "Tour de Pharmacy"

There are spoilers for the HBO film "Tour de Pharmacy". Go watch and come back to read Ty's review. It is currently showing on HBO Go, HBO Now, and periodically showing on one of HBO's family of channels at some time of the day.

This past weekend The Lonely Island and HBO released their second sports based faux documentary/comedy, "Tour de Pharmacy". I loved the first one, "7 Days in Hell", so I was excited for this second movie. When I say movie, I use that term loosely. This is basically a short. The "movie" runs about 35 minutes long. This is perfect for this subject material, and an excellent amount of time for what is basically a long form sketch.

Anyway, "Tour de Pharmacy" tells the "true" story of the 1982 Tour de France. This was the most drug riddled race in the history of bike races, according to the narrator, Jon Hamm. We all know now that, for the most part, the guys that do the Tour de France are dopers. It is widely accepted. "Tour de Pharmacy" takes this knowledge and makes it the entire basis of the movie.

Early in the program we find out that a rich German guy named Dittmer Klerken, played hilariously by Kevin Bacon, writes a letter to all 170 racers saying that they can do whatever drugs they want and they won't be tested, if they give him 50,000 dollars a piece. Klerken had built up incredible credit card debt due to a very absurd credit card ad in Sweden. The scene with the ad was probably my favorite part of the entire movie. It was so bizarre and odd and the talking heads comments on it were hilarious. If you watch this movie for one reason, make it to see the part with the ad. It was uproarious.

After the ad shows, they cut to the racers. They introduce us to 5 specific riders at the beginning. The first is Nigerian born racer, Marty Hass. He was played by Andy Samberg. Hass was born into a royal family that just happened to mine diamonds in Nigeria. They say that he went to an all American boys private school, and the people of Nigeria hate him. They hate that he is their country's representative. He is the epitome of a spoiled rich kid, and Samberg plays him hilariously. Another great part of this movie is they have the main characters as their older selves, and the actors that portray the older versions are perfect. Jeff Goldblum plays the older Hass. He is so god damn funny. He has some fake blonde hair hanging out of his hat and he wears African coats the whole time. Goldblum is just as funny as Samberg.

We also meet the first female, posing as a male, to ride in the tour. Freddie Highmore plays the young version of Adrian Baton. He was hilarious. His attempts to act like a female acting like a male was classic Lonely Island stuff. Julia Ormond played the older, and real, Baton, and she was equally as funny. She is a classically trained dramatic actress, but she pulls off the comedy to perfection. Her reveal at the end is wonderful.

Next up is Jackie Robinson's nephew, Slim Robinson, who is trying to get out of his uncle's shadow. He wants to be the first African American to break the color barrier, and at the time, cycling was the only sport that did not have many, if any, people of color. Daveed Diggs, of "Hamilton" and "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" fame is terrific in this movie. He is so funny, but understated. Danny Glover as the older Slim was equally tremendous. His wig is absolutely bananas. I loved it.

John Cena plays Austrian cyclist, Gustav Ditters, and he may have been the best in the whole movie. They show a picture from him the year before and he is rail skinny, then they show the actual Cena, and he is ripped. His claims that he isn't doping are so funny. The fact that he is that shredded, but constantly denies doping, is awesome. When the big fight breaks out in the first stage, and Cena starts to beat the hell out of people, I was in tears. Dolph Lundgren plays the older Ditters, and the whole "cheetah" and "cheater" scene is comedic gold.

The final main cyclist, JuJu Peppi, played by Orlando Bloom, was classic cycling cheater. He had so many drugs in his body that he actually died during the race due to a heart attack. Unfortunately for Peppi, he died while going pee, so his member was out when he died. There is a ton of male frontal nudity in this movie by the way. I have to say, while I don't like Bloom as an actor, he was really good in this movie.

The reason there are only 5 riders left is due to the fight I mentioned earlier. After the fight broke out, many of the riders came forward and said they were paid to not tell anyone that they were doping, and Klerken was the one that paid them. The only riders to not pay him were the 5 main characters, or as Seth Morris' ESPN anchor dubs them, "The Fab Five", claiming no one else will live up to that nickname ever. This was when we get a mini interview with Chris Webber and underneath his name it days, "a member of the much more famous Fab Five". Again, I was cracking up.

Lots of funny and wacky stuff happens during the race. I mentioned Peppi's death. Ditters get caught with cheetah blood, thus setting off the whole cheetah and cheater scene. Hass and Baton start to fall in love. Slim leaves the race to go be a farmer in France, only to return in the end. James Marsden, who was incredible as the announcer for the BBC, is involved in the race, but it is later found out that he is using a bike with a car motor on it, and Baton throws herself onto him to help her new lover, Hass, win the race. Just tons of crazy, hilarious stuff.

The people that they got to be the talking heads in the movie were phenomenal as well. Maya Rudolph is the head of a cycling magazine. She is great. Nathan Fielder is the head of the anti doping committee and he brings his dry humor to this movie, and it is pitch perfect. Joe Buck is himself, and he is really good. Mike Tyson and Lance Armstrong, both people that have done truly awful things in their personal lives, were actually pretty good in this movie. Lance Armstrong was pretty funny. Mike Tyson was a riot. JJ Abrams was pretty tremendous in his small role, as himself too. He plays a heightened version of himself, and I found him to be pretty good.

The entire cast was phenomenal for this small movie. The star, at least in my opinion, was Cena. He was the funniest of all the funny people in this movie. I have found that I enjoy Cena as an actor. Diggs was also really good too. Watching him try to get out of Jackie Robinson's shadow was just great. Jeff Goldblum was also really funny as well.

What I am trying to say is that "Tour de Pharmacy" was incredibly funny and I highly recommend everyone watch it. The Lonely Island seem to have found another niche that fits them, and I hope they continue to do little movies like this. "7 Days in Hell" was great, "Tour de Pharmacy" was better. I can't wait to see what they do next. Until then, go watch "Tour de Pharmacy" if you want a good laugh.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He recently competed his first mini triathalon and has his sights set on the 2018 Tour de France. Anybody know where he can score some cheetah blood?.

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SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

The Greatest American Music: Beck's "Debra"

The Greatest American Music is a companion to our Greatest American Band Debate.

SeedSing is filled with music lovers. We can not agree on who is the best band from the States. The Greatest American Band Debate will be a regular feature where we discuss and compare bands who started in the good old USA. If you have any suggestions of bands we should debate Contact us seedsing.rdk@gmail.com

Last Friday I wrote about how the greatness that is "Baby Driver". That movie is a classic. I also wrote in my spoiler free review about the excellent music in the movie. I bought the soundtrack, naturally, and I have been listening to it pretty much everyday since it was purchased. This is not a review of the album. The album is great, and I highly recommend it, especially for 50's and 60's soul and R&B music fans, but one song on it has rekindled my love for a musician I'm a big fan of.

The song "Debra", from Beck's best album, "Midnite Vultures", is on the soundtrack. "Midnite Vultures" is a tremendous record, and "Debra" is the highlight of the whole record. It is Beck's masterpiece, in my opinion. That is what I want to talk about today, the greatness that is the song "Debra". This is also my way of getting Beck into the Greatest American Band debate, but I just want to talk about this one song. It is enough to put him in the debate. Beck has so much other great music, but "Debra" is a step above everything else he has done, and will do.

In "Baby Driver", Baby and his girlfriend, Debora, talk about all the songs that have their names in them. Obviously Baby has a ton of songs. Debora, not so much. They mention 2 in the movie. One is T Rex's "Debora", and the other is Beck's "Debra". Lily James sings the first part of the first verse, and then immediately after she does that, I was brought back into how much I love this song. Then after listening to it on repeat for awhile, both on the soundtrack and "Midnite Vultures", I fell even further back in love with the song.

Everything about this song is perfection. First off, I heard, I think RD told me in fact, that Beck has said that this song is his own personal tribute to Prince, and it sounds like classic Prince. The song is very funky and Beck sings his heart out, hitting notes I didn't think he could ever get to. He sings some of the highest notes I've ever heard.

I started to dig deeper into the song because Debora explains to Baby that the song isn't even really about a girl named Debra, it is about her sister Jenny. I had forgotten about that. I just assumed the song was about a girl named Debra because that is the name of the song. But no, it is about a girl named Jenny, and her sister Debra. The first lyrics, the ones that Debora sings, go like this, "I met you at JC Penny/I think your name tag said Jenny". Bam! Right off the bat Beck establishes that the song is not about Debra, but it is about Jenny.

Beck goes on to say, "I cold step to you with a fresh pack of gum/And somehow I knew, you were looking for some oh no!/Like a fruit, that's ripe for the picking/ I wouldn't do you like that Zankou Chicken". That is some Barry White esque game that Beck is spitting to Jenny.

It also has classic Beck nonsense like him calling out a chicken restaurant in California. For years my brothers and I would debate what he was saying. We thought he was saying things like "cold chicken", "microwave chicken", anything but "Zankou Chicken".

He then finishes up the first verse, "Cause only you got the thing that I just got to get with? I just got to get with you and you know what we're gonna do". Again, funky as hell. This lyrics are classic throwback R&B lyrics and Beck sings them like a boss.

The chorus is tremendous. The lyrics are, "I wanna get with you/ And your sister/ I think her name is Debra". That is the first mention of Debra in the song. That chorus though, it is top notch and the guitar and drums and especially the bass, are second to none. It is classic, and extremely well played funk/R&B music coming from the weirdest dude in music. He crushes the chorus and the guitar work. I love it.

The song only gets better from there.

In the second verse, Beck explains, "I'll pick you up late at night after work/ I said, lady, step inside my Hyundai/ I'm gonna take you up to Glendale, I'm gonna take you for a real good meal/ Cause when our eyes did meet/ Girl you know I was packing heat/ Ain't no use in wasting no time getting to know each other, you never do". He then rehashes the "Cause only you got the thing" verse.

Lets unpack most of the second verse real quick. Again, super duper funky. It has all the elements of funk music. He is letting Jenny know all his plans, and what he wants to do with her. He is a gentleman obviously, by telling her he is going to take her up to Glendale for a "real good meal". He also isn't boasting when telling her to "Step inside his Hyundai". I have a Hyundai, so I know that all Hyundai's aren't fancy. He is confident, but not cocky. Then telling Jenny that they don't need to waste time getting to know each other is some of the coolest shit ever written. Beck is the man. He lets Jenny know what he wants, and if she is down, he will be having a great night. The second verse is my favorite. It is so cool and shows some of the best bravado that I have ever heard. This is where the song really hooks you.

He then goes on to the chorus again. Only the second mention of Debra in the second verse as well. It just gets funkier from there.

He goes on to close the song with, "ooh lovely lady/ girl you drive me crazy". He then repeats that a few times and finishes it off with, "I got a little bit of sympathy for you girl/ Yeah, cause I'm a grown ass man". He could not sound any cooler than he does at the end of this song. He is truly "the man". He throws down so epically on "Debra". The song closes out with some of the grooviest, funkiest guitar and bass in any funk song ever.

"Debra" is a classic. "Midnite Vultures" is a classic as well. It is songs like these that make me realize why I love not only music, but Beck specifically. He makes so much different and unique stuff, and for the most part, it is successful. Go out and listen to "Debra" right away. This song is so great, and I guarantee that you will gain a whole new level of respect for how great of a singer and song writer Beck truly is. He is like no one else that makes music nowadays, and "Debra" is what opened my mind to his genius.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He owns a Hyundai because Beck planted subliminal message's in Ty's head that said the Sonata is a car for the smoothest of dudes. Come step inside to see for yourself.

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"Baby Driver" is a Perfect Movie

And this is the perfect music delivery system

I just got home from seeing "Baby Driver", and I'm here to tell you that you need to see this movie. My review is going to on the shorter side because I implore everyone to see this on the big screen. That is the way this movie is meant to be seen. Anyway, I went with my father to a matinee. I have been waiting to see this movie, so I have been purposefully staying away from reading anything about it or watching too many previews. I'm glad that I did it that way.

There is so much to like in "Baby Driver". Ansel Elgort as Baby is phenomenal. I didn't know who this kid was, my wife told me he was in "The Fault in our Stars", but I haven't seen that movie, so I didn't know what to expect. Well, he was outstanding as the getaway driver. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that this is a movie about a driver that helps bank robbers get out of trouble. That is in all the previews. What makes Elgort's performance, and the movie for that matter though, is he is always listening to music because of an accident he was involved in as a child. He has a ringing in his ears, so to offset the noise, he listens to all types of music. I'd go so far as to say that this was a musical crime movie. The music is just terrific. There is a little something for everyone. I was also very pleased to see Baby listen to his music on an iPod. I think he and I may be the only 2 people in the world that still have them, and use them.

Besides Elgort's performance and the music, Jamie Foxx was great. He is bad to the bone, and when he is on screen, you know there is trouble. Same thing can be said for both Jon Hamm and Eiza Gonzalez, a relative unknown to me. They were a married couple that like to rob banks together. Their relationship was one of my favorite things from this movie. Jon Bernthal, in a very small performance, is equally as scary and as good as everyone else. His line, again, this is not a spoiler, "you have to be a little criminal to be in crime", should be the tagline for this movie. Kevin Spacey, making a return to the big screen, was brash, arrogant, rude and I loved his performance. It was like they took his character from "Swimming with Sharks", and put him in this movie. I'm always reminded of how good an actor he can be when placed in the right role. Lily James as Debora and Baby's love interest was perfectly cast as the damsel in distress. She was excellent as well. Everyone, even Flea, did a great job in this movie.

Edgar Wright also holds a special place in my heart when it comes to movies. He made "Shaun of the Dead", "Hot Fuzz" and "The World's End", all with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as a trilogy of sorts, and I love all those movies. Then he made "Scott Pilgrim vs the World", and that is one of my top 5 movies of all time. I was predestined to enjoy "Baby Driver". But, I more than enjoyed it, I adored it. It was fast paced. There were multiple love stories. It was dark. It was humorous. It was well acted. It was especially well written and directed. And again, the use of music was just wonderful.

Like I said at the top, I do not want to spoil anything, and I feel like if I dig deeper into the plot, that is exactly what I'll do. Just do yourself a favor and go see this movie ASAP. It is getting great reviews, as it should. I love that it feels like a 50's heist movie, what with the clothes worn and the music being played, but it is set in modern day. I love Atlanta being the town that the movie takes place in. I loved every little thing about this movie. 

Just go now and watch this movie. I think that is the third time I have said that. It is so well done, and it is so nice to see an original movie nowadays when everything seems to be a remake or a sequel. "Baby Driver" is neither of those things, it is an original.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He will never give up on his iPod. Music was meant to have the clicks of the mechanical wheel when a person is choosing their next track. It is more pure.

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SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Better Late Than Never on the Great Movie "The Founder"

Yesterday I finally got a chance to see the movie "The Founder". I know that I am very late to this movie, but I have 2 young kids, and as I have said many times, it is hard to get out to the theaters. So, I have to wait to see most movies when they get released On Demand or via DVD/Blu Ray.

That being said, I had heard some pretty good things about the movie, and I am always interested in historical stories about how famous businesses came to be so famous. And, there is no business more famous, and I will debate anyone on this, than McDonald's Restaurants. They are literally everywhere. I can't drive down the main drag of my street without seeing, at the very least, 3 McDonald's within 15 miles of each other. So, when "The Founder" was released, my interest was piqued.

The story was great. How the McDonald brothers and Ray Kroc came to be friends, business partners and enemies, was very well told. Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch as Dick(Offerman) and Mac(Lynch) McDonald, were wonderful. Lynch played the soft spoken, big dreaming brother so well. He had grand ideas and he would do anything to keep them alive. He also suffered from diabetes and had other health issues that would become a major hindrance in his life. Offerman was exceptional as the more focused, business educated brother. He had a system, he kept it in place, and he'd be damned if anyone wanted to change what his vision for what a successful restaurant could be.

Michael Keaton though, as Ray Kroc, was the unquestioned star of this movie. He was so evil, so crass, so rude, so cutthroat, so singularly focused on his vision. He was amazing. When the movie started he was a lowly milk shake machine salesman, and, the more evil he got, the more successful he became. The movie was based on a true story, and I don't know much of anything about Ray Kroc, but if this movie was a proper representation of Kroc, he was a total asshole. Keaton pulled this off perfectly. I felt bad for him at first, got excited when he teamed up with the McDonald brothers, got even more amped when he started to franchise the business and then started to hate him, and I don't like that word but it is needed here, when he started to branch out and do things on his own, going against the contract that he signed at the beginning of his partnership. He became a ruthless businessman that started to take way too much credit than he deserved, and he became way, way too big for his britches. He even went as far as to claim that he had the first McDonald's in Des Plaines, Illinois, calling it McDonald's 1. What an asshole move to make. Prior to all that though, I enjoyed hearing Mac McDonald tell Kroc about how he and his brother finally landed on a good business after many failed attempts. I enjoyed watching Kroc struggle as a salesman trying to sell his milkshake making machine.

Outside of Keaton's performance, everything else in "The Founder" is equally awesome. I loved watching the scene where Dick McDonald explained how they managed to be the most efficient restaurant in the US at the time. I loved the time period. I like most movies that take place in the 50's. I enjoyed Laura Dern's performance as Kroc's wife. She was not loved and given the attention she deserved, but since it was the 50's, she stayed with him until he wanted to get divorced. I felt horrible for her. Linda Cardenllini was great as the wife of a restaurant owner, played by Patrick Wilson, who falls for Kroc, helps him with his acquisition of McDonald's and eventually marries him. Patrick Wilson was decent in his small role as the fancy restaurant owner who buys a McDonald's franchise. BJ Novak had a very good role as the guy that convinced Kroc to become a real estate agent as opposed to a franchise manager because that was where the money was to be made. Kroc was broke before he got into the real estate business. Real estate was also his way of getting out of his contract with the McDonald brothers. Of course Novak's character and Kroc stopped their partnership because Kroc is an ass.

This was a very well made movie with an excellent performance from Keaton. Michael Keaton is kind of having a "renaissance" of sorts. Ever since "Birdman", he has been in some good stuff. He has "The Founder", and coming out this week, he plays the villain in "Spiderman: Homecoming". I am a Keaton fan, so I'm glad he is showing up in some really good movies lately. I'm surprised he wasn't recognized by the Academy for this movie. That is how good I thought he was.

If you watch "The Founder" for anything, watch it for Keaton's performance. He is electric. But, I say watch the movie anyway because it is made very well. The story flows with ease and you really get to know the three main characters very well. I enjoyed "The Founder", and I think you will too. Check it out.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is ready for the biopic telling the story of how Whataburger was started. Get on it Hollywood.

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Gordon Hayward Joining the Celtics Does Not Change A Thing in the NBA

Gordon Hayward officially signed with the Boston Celtics yesterday for 4 years and around 120 million dollars. This surprised me, as many of you may have already read, I thought he was going back to Utah, but I guess it shouldn't have. He was rumored to be going there all season, they had the most money outside of Utah to offer and his college coach, who he has known since 9th grade, is the coach of the Celtics now. And after a whole day of back and forth, it was nice to get a final decision from him before I went to bed.

As I watched some talking heads sports shows, many people were very happy with the signing and talked about how it made the Celtics so much better, and a real threat to the Cavs, or whatever team LeBron ends up on if he stays in the East. People also praised his decision to head out East since it seems all the good free agents signed with Western Conference teams. They claimed that playing for Boston will give him deeper playoff runs than anything he could have done had he stayed in Utah. No matter the fact that the Jazz were/are an up and coming team, he now, at least on paper, has a much easier path to a conference finals, and perhaps one day, the NBA Finals.

The initial reactions I heard and watched and read the more I disagreed with what most of what these people were saying. I was watching Summer League basketball because I'm a hoops junkie, and during halftime of a Jazz-Spurs game, the commentators were talking about the signing and how it shapes up going into next season for Boston. They continually showed their starting 5, with some key reserves. The 5 presumable starters were Isiah Thomas at guard, Avery Bradley at guard, Gordon Hayward and Jae Crowder as the 3 and 4, and Al Horford as their center. The key reserves were Marcus Smart, Jaylen Brown, Kelly Olynk and rookie Jayson Tatum. That was another thing people praised, Danny Ainge didn't have to give up any "assets" to acquire Hayward.

The more NBA TV showed this roster the more I just kind of shrugged. Sure, it looks okay, but they were still the one seed last year with Amir Johnson, Olynk and Brown in Hayward's place. Yes, Hayward does give them an additional threat alongside Thomas, but is that good enough to beat the true title contending teams? I don't think so. Hayward made the right choice, since he left, to go to a team filled with role players, but I just do not see this current Celtics roster as any real threat. I already mentioned how they were the one seed in the East this most recent playoffs, but that didn't matter. The Cavs still destroyed them in five games. You may read that and say, but they didn't have Thomas. Okay, add Hayward and maybe they win one more game. There is no way that they will beat the Cavs as long as LeBron and Kyrie are there.

Also, Thomas, who I love, is coming off of hip surgery, he is getting older and he is listed generously at 5'9. Adding Hayward may take some pressure off Thomas, as far as needing to go to the rim, but he is not the greatest outside shooter. He is a decent outside shooter, but he makes his living hitting floaters and going to the basket to either draw contact or make circus layups. Hayward is a better outside shooter, but not as much a threat as some sports media would have you believe. Outside of those 2 guys, the only other outside threat they have is Avery Bradley, and I say that very loosely. Marcus Smart can't shoot. Jaylen Brown could be good, but he seems more like an explosive player. I know people are fawning over Tatum's early summer league performances, but remember when D'Angelo Russell was the star of summer league last year? How'd that work out for him and the Lakers? He is also a 19 year old rookie. Teams won't take him seriously, at least not the important teams.

It is a nice story that Hayword is going back to play for his college coach, but I had heard that he and Quinn Snyder had gotten real close, so why leave him now, one season after winning 51 games? I don't deny that he wants to play for Brad Stevens due to knowing him since he was 15, but I think his decision was much more based on the competition level in the East compared to the West. The West got so much better this offseason, while the East, well, it is like the JV version of the NBA, with the Cavs being the lone exception. Hell, if everyone can stay healthy for 65 games, the 76ers could push for an 8 seed. The only real decent teams in the East not named the Cavs are, the Celtics, Wizards, Bucks and Raptors. Every other team is a toss up. That means that of the 11 teams left in the East, if they can win anywhere between 38-41 games, they could get into the playoffs. We will have some West teams with 45 or more wins that may not make the playoffs. So don't tell me the decision was almost solely based on playing for your college coach.

Anyway, I do not think this signing tips the scales in any meaningful way for the Celtics. They were already a playoff ready team, who made the East Finals last year. But I don't think Gordon Hayward is ever going to be the answer to who can you get to beat LeBron. And lets just say that they somehow beat the Cavs and the Celtics make the Finals. I'd still take the Warriors, obviously, but I'd also take the Rockets, Spurs and Thunder to beat them in 6 games or less. I believe in my NBA preseason preview for this most recent season I had the Celtics somewhere in the top ten, maybe 7th or 8th (ed note - it was 4th best in the league). I will not be putting them any higher when I do my preseason preview for this upcoming season. Just off the top of my head, I know the Cavs, Warriors and Spurs are better than them. I also think the Rockets, Thunder, Wizards and maybe even the Raptors might be better than them too, which puts them as my 8th best team right now.

I'm sure Celtics fans will call me a "hater" or something stupid like that, but Gordon Hayward does not move the needle like a Jimmy Butler or Paul George would have for this team. Those 2 guys are far superior players. We will have to wait and see.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing, the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast, and the greatest basketball writer on the internet. 

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Ty Watches "Bar Rescue": Casual Tap Edition

Just because it's the Fourth of July, that doesn't mean Ty is taking the day off. Enjoy. 

This past Sunday we got the glorious return of "Bar Rescue". That's right, Jon Taffer and crew are back to save some failing bars. I hadn't realized how much I missed this show until I watched it on my DVR yesterday. I was so happy to see that crazy looking, mean yet helpful old man, Taffer. He is a national treasure. I needed to hear that shrill yell again. I missed it so much.

On the season premiere or mid season premiere, or whatever this show and Spike TV decide it is, Taffer and one of his drink experts visited a bar that shut down 3 months ago in Chicago. The bar was, and still is, called Casual Tap. The guy who owned the bar doubled as a firefighter, so it was hard for him to be at both jobs. His firefighting job, as it should be, was priority number one. His wife also has a disease called Huntington's Disease, which is kind of like Alzheimer's. So, his bar was pretty much number 3 on his important things list.

The bar started off strong, as most do, so the owner decided to step away and let his employees run the place. This is always a disaster. Everything went down hill. The people didn't know what to do, or they just didn't care. When the owner realized that he was nearly 700,000 dollars in debt, he decided to close the place down for awhile. He didn't give up, promising to reopen the bar soon, but he was close to letting it go. In fact, when Taffer shows up, he has to meet him at the firehouse. As I said, the bar was shut down. The owner told Taffer about the employees, the firefighter job and his wife. Just then, this became not only a bar rescue, but a family rescue too.

This is Taffer's personal wheelhouse. So, instead of a stress test, Taffer decided to see the crew in action in a very small sample. He had the owner reopen the bar and invited some guests. The bartenders, minus one guy, were not that terrible, they were just out of practice. The guy though, Louie, struggled mightily. This was bad news for the owner because he wanted Louie to be the new manager. Taffer warned against this, and even told the owner to let the newer bartender, Zee, be the manager. Taffer even went so far as to have the 2 take a mangers test that he set up, and Zee crushed it, where Louie, he crapped the bed. They had some intense training after this, and the owner still hadn't decided who was going to be the manager.

Taffer and his crew did their magic and gussied up the bar. They kept a lot, including the name, the bar was a mainstay, but they gave them some POS systems and other, newer things. They also tidied up the floor and walls too. At the reveal, everyone loved the place. They like that it looked the same, only a bit newer. They loved the new menu, and in classic Taffer fashion, he named a drink after the fireman and decided that some of the proceeds would go to Huntington Disease research. He also cut a check himself. Taffer may come off as an asshole, and then he does stuff like this. The owner was moved to tears, as was his daughter.

After they all gathered their emotions, they got ready for the reopen. During this though, Louie cut his hand getting garnish ready. He cut it so deep that he couldn't work. It looked dire for Casual Tap, but the rest of the crew stepped up, and Louie was not really needed. They had a great reopen.

During the end credits it said that the bar was taking a hiatus before reopening later in 2017. They didn't specify, but I hope the owner's wife and daughter are okay. I want this bar to succeed. The people deserve it.

I'm very happy that "Bar Rescue" is back. I missed it so, but now it's going to be here for the next couple months or so. They are taking one week off, but they'll get back on July 16th, and I'll be here to review it. Welcome back BR, you were missed, and I'm so pleased that you are back in my life.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He wants to one day open a bar called "Need Rescuing". Maybe the name will be enough for Ty to meet his idol Jon Taffer.

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